The Zombie Hunters Forum: WE GO THERE.

General Discussion => Random Stuff => Topic started by: Dr. McNinja on August 18, 2009, 09:03:57 am



Title: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on August 18, 2009, 09:03:57 am
Another remake! People can't come up with anything original these days.

The whirr of a sentry has acquired my attention
And no one is near.
I shall take it down without a mention
My job is fear.

It touches the machine, and melds
Things are going to get fun.
Right on cue, someone yells:
SPAH SAPPIN MAH SENTRY GUN!

The tapping of feet, as he runs down the hall
Prepares me for the fight.
He enters the room, unaware of his fall
I plunge the knife with all my might.

A heavy appears, and my fate is insured,
As I sit in the destroyed den,
I face the Russian, and speak one final word:
Gentlemen.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on August 18, 2009, 09:31:33 am
Reeve (Caith Sit): “Vincent, we’re all concerned here. I’m the ‘friend trying to help you out’ sort of concerned. Cid is the ‘already offered to castrate you multiple times’ sort of concerned. I know she’s possessed by research papers from your old fling or however it goes.”

From here: Let's Play - Dirge of Cerebrus (http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Dirge%20of%20Cerberus/Update%2034/index.html) Made by the same guy who made the genius Resident Evil plays on the same site.

And yes, he hates the game. As if that wasn't obvious...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on August 18, 2009, 09:43:51 am
"Touching Your Inner Child" -Happy Harry
"Putting the I Back in Team" -Happy Harry


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on August 18, 2009, 10:18:35 am
"Council incompetency is at the highest level since records were lost."

-From We Are Klang, the one funny bit in a show that was absolute and utter rubbish.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on August 18, 2009, 06:36:41 pm
Rowlf the Dog: Stay away from women. That's my motto.
Kermit: But I can't.
Rowlf the Dog: Neither can I; that's my trouble.
--from The Muppet Movie


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on August 19, 2009, 04:53:07 pm
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness.   

 - Emo Philips


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on August 19, 2009, 11:20:20 pm
When I was just a baby, my mama told me, "Son.  Always be a good boy, don't ever play with guns." But I shot a man in Reno.  Just to watch him die. - Johnny Cash


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alucard_101 on August 20, 2009, 03:24:22 pm
Don't be afraid
I'm really quite sweet
Unless of course it's you I plan to eat
Now enter the crypt
And feel free to explore
Inquiring minds I simply adore


Enough with the rhyming already
I'm hungry, let's eat

-Erin-Serai (http://erin-serai.deviantart.com/) on DA


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on August 20, 2009, 05:26:57 pm
So...Urggzob is confused.
Sounds about right.
How so, Urggzob?
Well...Urggzob is HALF orc, but crushing FULL orcs is so easy. Would Urggzob crush even better if he was half half orc instead?
I'm not sure the fractions quite work that way.
Perhaps your orc heritage combined with your human ability to grow a beard has led to your success?
Hah, yes! Beards are the answer to all things that crushing is not the answer to!

For those of you who wondered, Urrgzob is an insanely overpowered half-orc barbarian from the Let's Play of Icewind Dale. Every line he comes with is comedy gold, and pretty mutch every line he says involves some version of "crush".


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on August 21, 2009, 09:55:33 am
"Personal spawn point, you say? Gotta get me one of those."
"Just wish for immortality from an asshole genie."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on August 21, 2009, 12:29:18 pm
    Sam: You seem pretty cheery.
    Dean: Strippers, Sammy. Strippers! We are on an actual case involving strippers. Finally!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on August 21, 2009, 04:39:09 pm
THE DAY OF ALL THE BLOOD

THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A MAN WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM EVERYWHERE. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD THAT IT FILLED UP AN ELEVATOR. HE WENT TO THE STORE AND THERE WAS JUST BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! PEOPLE WERE SLIPPING IN IT AND THEY WERE ALL GROSSED OUT. HE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS WENT NUTS AND BITTENED EVERYBODY. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES EVER. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A KID AND A DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND HIM TO SPACE SO THAT HE WOULD STOP GETTING BLOOD EVERY WHERE. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT THE MAN WAS YOU!!! (OR HE WAS A LADY IF YOU ARE A LADY) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on August 21, 2009, 05:27:34 pm
That sounds like a YouTube spam comment.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on August 21, 2009, 05:32:36 pm
Me: Huh..in that picture you look like Steven.
Stu: What? How?
Me: I dunno, you just do. And in that one, you look like JT.
Stu:...That is JT.
Me: SHUT UP.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on August 21, 2009, 06:10:46 pm
Ha ha, you're trapped now, Spiderman! Trapped in this enormous bath!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on August 21, 2009, 07:50:17 pm
Interviewer: What's your prediction for the fight?
Clubber Lang: My prediction?
Interviewer: Yes, your prediction.
[Clubber looks into camera]
Clubber Lang: Pain!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on August 21, 2009, 08:28:55 pm
"It's in the Constitution; you have the right to bear arms or the right to arm bears, whatever the hell you wanna do!"
--Robin Williams ("A Night at the Met")

[Inspired by that gun-toting nutcase at the Obama rally. Thanks, dude! ::)]


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Buddleia on August 22, 2009, 09:06:12 am
Oh, and some of the employees look like zombies, they could be confusing.
ILOL'D =D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Drago Solaris on August 22, 2009, 09:22:44 am
Bne Rawr - XD says (3:46 PM):
*im still hungry and this isnt helping
Dominique says (3:48 PM):
*Maybe we could suck on each other's arteries
Bne Rawr - XD says (3:52 PM):
*i like it when you talk dirty
Dominique says (3:54 PM):
*Oh yes baby, like my endothelium! Lick it hard!!!
Bne Rawr - XD says (3:55 PM):
*D= i feel so molested
*in my brain
Dominique says (3:56 PM):
*Sorry
*removes butt-plug from your ear*

Why Dodom? Why!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on August 22, 2009, 09:24:35 am
*facepalm* XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on August 22, 2009, 01:04:08 pm
That sounds like a YouTube spam comment.
It's a parody of stuff like that.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on August 22, 2009, 03:04:39 pm
"I'd forgotten how humid New York is in August. I went into a sauna to dry off."

Stephen Fry on his Twitter.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on August 22, 2009, 08:47:57 pm
Duchess of Malfi: "I know death hath ten thousand several doors
For men to take their exits..."
--"The Duchess of Malfi" (http://larryavisbrown.homestead.com/files/Malfi/malfi_home.htm), Act IV, Scene 2


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on August 22, 2009, 09:16:39 pm
Friend 1: Kill the zombie cock! I mean...zombie cop!
Friend 2: What did you just say?
Friend 1: I didn't say anything! DX

Another occasion:

Friend 1: *Playing WoW* Go talk to the Butt Elf Trainer. :D I mean...
Friend 2: You mean...Paladin Trainer?
Friend 1: I didn't say anything! DX

She makes great sentences.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on August 23, 2009, 12:21:17 am
Me: Hey Dad, I heard they made a car in Japan that can run on spices.
Dad: Wait, what do you mean?
Me: I guess you just throw in pepper or something? I'm not sure.
Dad: That's insane.
Me: Well, you know what they say; Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.
Dad: ... dammit.
I love XCKD.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on August 23, 2009, 12:35:49 am
Me: That show is sorta formulaic.(I'm talking about a little kids show)
Mom: kinda like Law and Order?
Me: Doesn't that tell you something about Law and Order
Mom: Shut up


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on August 23, 2009, 07:40:14 am
Willy Wonka: If the good Lord had intended us to walk, He wouldn't have invented roller skates.
--Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on August 23, 2009, 11:31:52 am
The whole game's basis was a Tripped up Plumber, high on 'shooms, diving through sewers in a "magical kingdom"... >_>


Damn we were fed some funky shit as children.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on August 23, 2009, 11:38:17 am
"Call of Poetry: Modernism Warfare"

I'd buy that game just for the title.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on August 23, 2009, 07:27:48 pm
"I'd buy that for a dollar!"
--from RoboCop (original)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on August 23, 2009, 11:07:37 pm
On Facebook:
(This Guy I know)'s Status::  is attempting to pull an all nighter... with (girl I also know)
Some commenter: just get naked.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on August 24, 2009, 07:30:22 pm
Dominique dit :
A fly was walking on the screen and I can't click it!
Cass' dit :
lol
if i put on my webcam... would you try to click meß
Dominique dit :
If my pointer starts hovering next to your head in your room and pokes you in the eye I'd feel guilty
Cass' dit :
i doubt it would happen ^^
but it's still nice that you#d feel bad if it did ^.-
*hugs*
Dominique dit :
*hugs*


I'm a little silly :p
But at least I'm not made of A THOUSAND DOGS!!! (inside joke alert)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on August 24, 2009, 07:32:44 pm
i
am
not
made
of
a
thousand
dogs
!!!

>_<

*bites*

xP


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on August 25, 2009, 07:48:21 pm
"Announcer, what does the Scout say about BLU's power level?"
"It's overtime 9000!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on August 25, 2009, 07:56:15 pm
ensouls' status on Facebook:
"has her thumb in many sinister pots."

Well HK it looks like she is evil after all.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on August 25, 2009, 08:14:42 pm
in Just-
spring    when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame balloonman
whistles    far    and wee

and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's spring

when the world is puddle-wonderful

the queer
old balloonman whistles
far    and    wee
and bettyandisbel come dancing
from hop-scotch and jump-rope and

it's spring
and the goat-footed
balloonMan    whistles
far
and
wee

ee cummings


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on August 26, 2009, 05:33:48 am
Nihtgenga says:
 ooh, i think i may have rolled some fairly good stats for teh dee en dee.
William says:
 what'd you get?
Nihtgenga says:
 15, 11, 9, 15, 7, 11
 And the bonus ball is...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on August 26, 2009, 02:15:25 pm
"You are that Russian guy how is always sending pictures?" -McNinja to me in Steam long long time ago


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on August 26, 2009, 04:42:29 pm
Breaker: [about handling the accelerator suits] Careful, they're worth billions of dollars!
Ripcord: [in an accelerator suit] Billions of dollars, I got it!
[falls out of the van and lands on his back; Scarlett gives Ripcord a hangdog look]
Ripcord: My bad! Won't happen again!
[he gets hit by a car]
--from G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on August 26, 2009, 09:14:02 pm
Jack In the Box Guy: Hi, welcome to Jack In the Box! What can I get for you today?

Friend: Can I have....a BIG CHEESEBURGER!?

Jack In the Box Guy: Uuhh, sure.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on August 26, 2009, 11:24:41 pm
Setting: McDonalds

Cashier: Can I help you today, sir?

Me: Yeah...*point* I'll take the Whopper Jr. Meal please.

Cashier: *looks behind her on the menu and searches in vain for my order*  Umm, sir, I don't think we have that..

Me: *points again, and adopts semi perturbed appearance* I want the Whopper Jr meal.  Please.

Cashier: I'm sorry sir, let me get my manager to help you.

Me: *leaves laughing hysterically*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on August 27, 2009, 06:32:05 am
And did they have it?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on August 27, 2009, 07:28:30 am
Whopper = Burger King


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on August 27, 2009, 11:20:18 am
"I heard Solid Snake was Lt. Pliskin, I also Heard a Lycan Asshole taste like Blue Berry Muffin."
-Some guy on Youtube.

lol.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on August 27, 2009, 05:05:40 pm
How did they name the evil whopper in English? Or did they name any sandwich like that at all, or they kept it to the crazy French?


Quote:
Me: YOU! BAD! NO!
Tree: *has first red leaves*
Me: NO! JUST STOP THAT!!!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on August 27, 2009, 05:10:51 pm
Jules: Well, if you like burgers give 'em a try sometime. I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's a vegetarian which pretty much makes me a vegetarian. But I do love the taste of a good burger. Mm-mm-mm. You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?
Brett: No.
Jules: Tell 'em, Vincent.
Vincent: A Royale with cheese.
Jules: A Royale with cheese! You know why they call it that?
Brett: Because of the metric system?
Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett! You're a smart motherfucker. That's right. The metric system.
--from Pulp Fiction


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on August 27, 2009, 05:50:22 pm
Tanukiyasha said:
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Tuggernuts said:
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Hentai_Boy said:
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!




Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on August 27, 2009, 08:12:04 pm
tuggernuts? *dies laughing*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on August 27, 2009, 08:57:31 pm
Quote
Ed: Finally bought a new TV. I'm ready for that GD gaymen.

Ed: HD* Fuck yeah typos.

John: GD gaymen???

Me: No, HD gaymen. Wait what.

Delicious irony:
Quote
Whitney: facebook is turning into anotha myspace, can we plz act like the grown& mature people we claim to be& cut da crap, THANKS!!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on August 27, 2009, 09:49:09 pm
Tanukiyasha said:
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Tuggernuts said:
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Hentai_Boy said:
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!

XDDD Awesome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on August 28, 2009, 07:50:59 am
"I still can't believe," Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire."
"not just a vampire," I [Harry Dresden] said, "a cheesy vampire. Do you think they got the point?"
"I think," Michael said, "that you've just insulted everyone here."

From book three of the Dresden files.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dara on August 28, 2009, 09:58:02 am
'I'm not paranoid. I don't think the worlds out to get me. I'm just worried I might be wrong.'


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on August 28, 2009, 05:43:39 pm
Gomer: I'm gonna be a fighting fool, you'll see.
Sergeant Carter: Well, you're halfway there.
--from Gomer Pyle, USMC ("The Feudin' Pyles")


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on August 28, 2009, 08:09:59 pm
INCOMING TEXT WALL, it's a good one though.


br0kenrabbit says:
hi

Greg_ValveOLS says:
good evening

br0kenrabbit says:
What's ip?

br0kenrabbit says:
up?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
my name is greg a member of the valve online Support team

br0kenrabbit says:
On MSN?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
yes :)

br0kenrabbit says:
Why?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
we logged multiple ips from your account and ned to verifi your information

br0kenrabbit says:
My information?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
we believe someone may have stolen your account mmmm you havent shared youre account infomation with anyone have you?

br0kenrabbit says:
No. I don't even have it written down.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
hmmm maybe a keylogger on you r PC then maybe you need a format?

br0kenrabbit says:
Well...

Greg_ValveOLS says:
if you can verify your account information to me i can insure that only your ip have access to it Its a new security feature were trying because this happens so muchlogin names and passwords aint safe anymroe You know. L:)

br0kenrabbit says:
Well

Greg_ValveOLS says:
dont worry this connect it secure

br0kenrabbit says:
Can I be honest with you, Greg?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

br0kenrabbit says:
Look, I don't know how you go this MSN account name, don't really care, either.

br0kenrabbit says:
Unlike you, I DO work for Valve. Trace my ip and you'll see.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
huh?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
bs

br0kenrabbit says:
Trace it.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
how

br0kenrabbit says:
Start/run/cmd type Tracert and then my IP address and hit enter.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
oh k

br0kenrabbit says:
As an employee, I know that Valve employees will NEVER contact users over MSN. I also know a valve employee will NEVER ask a user for his/her username and password.

br0kenrabbit says:
I'm putting a temporary hold on your Steam account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why?

br0kenrabbit says:
Have you read the ToS?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
Tod?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
tos

br0kenrabbit says:
terms of service

Greg_ValveOLS says:
were?

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg, this is a serious infraction against the Tos. You are at risk of losing your account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why

br0kenrabbit says:
I just told you why

Greg_ValveOLS says:
:(

br0kenrabbit says:
I need some information from you if you want me to unlock you account. I'm going to write you up but I will only suspend you account for three days, since this is your first infraction, okay?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

br0kenrabbit says:
First, what is the name the account is registered to. Not the user name, the persons real name who created the account. This is for verification purposes.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxx xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Is this you?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Are you the only user of this account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay, and what is the username

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay.

br0kenrabbit says:
I see you have purchased a few of our games, thank you. :)

Greg_ValveOLS says:
some. dude

Greg_ValveOLS says:
m

br0kenrabbit says:
Do you always log on from the same IP?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
And who is your internet providers, your ISP?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Thank you. One moment, please, let me verify this information.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
am i gonna be bale to play 2nite?

br0kenrabbit says:
What is your city of residence?

br0kenrabbit says:
That depends on if you cooperate. You're doing fine so far.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Illinios?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
yes

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. And what is the password associated with this account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. Do not try to log into steam. If you are connected now you need to log off.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why

br0kenrabbit says:
So I can update your account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
can I play 2 nite

Greg_ValveOLS says:
clan fight

Greg_ValveOLS says:
wont win without me heh

br0kenrabbit says:
Heh. You'll have to wait a few minutes. Are you logged off?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. Give me just a moment.

br0kenrabbit says:
Try to log in now.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

Greg_ValveOLS says:
It says login failed wtf wtf!!@?

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
did u ban me???????????>WHY

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what

br0kenrabbit says:
Valve will never ask for your username and password.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what????

br0kenrabbit says:
I don't work for Valve dude, but you just got pwnt.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
omg dude wtf why?

br0kenrabbit says:
Why were you trying to steal my account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
i wanst

br0kenrabbit says:
Then why were you asking for my information?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
i was just making a joke but not cerious honest dude just give
my acount back pllllleeease i'm only 13 and save d up for like a year to buy it

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
dude pleas

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what

br0kenrabbit says:
Go mow some yards, bitch.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on August 28, 2009, 08:17:07 pm
AHAHAHAHAH! XDDD

Wow. Justice has been served.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jackal on August 28, 2009, 08:30:13 pm
I seriously cackled, that was sooo freaking hilarious. Smart, too.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on August 29, 2009, 10:38:37 am
More of the same!


VAC Support Staff: Good evening sir, I am afraid that we are going to have to put a hold on your account.
Dash: Oh, why is this?
VAC Support Staff: We do not take lightly to hacking in Team Fortress 2. Now, I can put a hold on this but I will need your account details.
Dash: Ah, but you see, herein lies your error. VAC is an automated process, it bans you a certain period of time after you have hacked (I believe this is so that you report back to hacking buddys that the hack is safe, allowing VAC to catch even more hackers.) It does not have a certain support staff that contact you in order to tell you that your account is going to be barred. Infact, VAC does not lock accounts at all, it just stops them from playing on VAC Secure servers.
Dash: Also, right at the top of the chat log there is a notice saying that "Valve will never ask me for my username and password." Did you honestly think I'd be stupid enough to ignore that?
Dash: Not to mention the confirmation dialogue box that appears when you enter your password into chat.
VAC Support Staff: You'd be suprised how many people do.
Dash: Most people are morons.
VAC Support Staff: Yes, and I make money off these morons.
Dash: How do you manage that?
VAC Support Staff: Well I normally sell the hacked accounts on Ebay, Craigslist or a similar website. Most people are to stupid to contact Steam Support and get their accounts back.
VAC Support Staff: Infact, I've never had a single complaint from the people I've sold the accounts to.
Dash: Sounds like a pretty good way of making money.
VAC Support Staff: Oh it is! Most accounts will have 10+ games on them, i generally charge $5 per game. Sometimes reducing costs depending on what offers are on right now. normally I make about $30-60 per account, not bad for a few minutes work.
Dash: And it doesn't get on your conscience at all?
VAC Support Staff: I tend to only scam people who are assholes.
Dash: Ice burn.
VAC Support Staff: Well, your name I just pulled from the Facepunch Steam group. Seeing as you have like 100 games, I could make a pretty penny from your account.
Dash: Pity you'll never get your hands on it then.
VAC Support Staff: oh, we'll see Dash. We will see.
Dash: Okay, now I'm scared. I must say I applaud your good grammar, most people who attempt to scam me type very poorly.
VAC Support Staff: It helps increase my chances of appearing legitimate.
Dash: So how do you find these assholes of yours?
VAC Support Staff: Well, I get reports from a lot of people who play VALVe games regularly. They'll tell me the names of some people who should really not be playing online games, people who ruin the experience for others.
Dash: That's very noble of you. A modern day Robin Hood.
VAC Support Staff: Nah, I don't wear a gay green suit.
Dash: Touché.
VAC Support Staff is now Offline.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on August 29, 2009, 12:54:57 pm
Stan Bobbins: We'll become the McDonalds of babies.
Jean Bobbins: [sarcastic] Great, we'll be known as McBaby.
--Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on August 30, 2009, 02:17:55 pm
On discussing results of those personality quizzes (this was a dog one)
--
Emily: -is a golden retriever- LET'S FROLIC TOGEZHER. -prances through a meadow-
Pauline: -is a husky and does not frolic- SRS DOG FACE.
Emily: Retrievers: play playplayplay
ParuHusky: нет. I r srs.
                Retrievers: .__. -goes back to frolicking-
Pauline: -noms clearly not srs MLE!Retriever- U NED 2 B MOAR SRS HRRRRRN
Emily: MLERetriever: -rollrollroll- -ignoreignore- -roll roll- -frolic-
         Man, if I was a dog...
Pauline: Man, I'd totally hump you if I was a dog.
Emily: I would hump you right back.
Pauline: Yay for mutual humping.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on August 30, 2009, 03:35:54 pm
[after running over and killing Tony]
Bob: Hey, what's the matter? You okay? Feeling bad, huh? It's cool, we just killed somebody. No big deal.
--from Zombie Nightmare


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on September 01, 2009, 08:13:04 pm
Life's a Japanese game show. It's bizzare, unpredictable, and takes pleasure from your suffering.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on September 01, 2009, 11:11:15 pm
"Pffft, you know Indian reservations are just empty fields and billboard signs"

True story, yes. Except ours included a casino!

About Massena:
"Fuck you, Forks! We actually have an Indian res!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on September 01, 2009, 11:29:05 pm
My dad and I found bags of candy for 10c at the store.

Me: I wonder why these are ten cents, anyways. They're probably all rock hard.
Dad: They're leftovers from the eighties.

They were worth the ten cents, too; you got barely any, and I found a band-aid in my Apple RIngs AFTER I ate all of them  :-[


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on September 03, 2009, 11:03:58 am
"Harble."

I'm driving my sister towards insanity by saying it A LOT!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on September 03, 2009, 12:39:32 pm
"I am a Buddhist, I suppose; and Buddhism is not a creed, it is a doubt."-
The Professor, "The Man Who Was Thursday" by G.K. Chesterton.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on September 03, 2009, 05:07:01 pm
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
You: Howsop sappily?
*Long pause*
You: Howsop sappily? Urgam panutrakin
*Long pause*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

And:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
You: I desire stew. Will you bring me stew? But make it hot this time, not cold
Stranger: brb, soup
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

They ate soup. And yet I desired stew. What kind of travesty is this! D:<


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on September 03, 2009, 05:35:23 pm
A horrific one worthy of banishment.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on September 04, 2009, 07:14:18 pm
"Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft."

From here (http://melon.posterous.com/random-thoughts-from-25-35-year-olds)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 04, 2009, 10:02:44 pm
...

I do that for CDs.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sion_Revan on September 05, 2009, 01:52:05 am
From The Dresden Files.

Quote
[...] There was a sound of impact, a raspy, dry scream, and the vampire went down hard.

It lay on the ground like a butterfly pinned to a card, arms and legs thrashing uselessly. Its chest and collarbone had been crushed.

By an entire frozen turkey. A twenty-pounder.

The plucked bird must have fallen from an airplane overhead, doubtlessly manipulated by the curse. By the time it got to the ground, the turkey had already reached its terminal velocity, and was still hard as a brick. The drumsticks poked up above the vampire's crushed chest, their ends wrapped in red tinfoil.

The vampire gasped and writhed a little more.

The timer popped out of the turkey.

Everyone stopped to blink at that for a second. I mean, come on. Impaled by a guided frozen turkey missile. Even by the standards of the quasi-immortal creatures of the night, that ain't something you see twice.

“For my next trick,” I panted into the startled silence, “anvils.”

And then the fight was on again.

-- Harry Dresden, Blood Rites.

Quote
Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.

-- Harry Dresden, Storm Front.

Quote
“Screw up my life?” He stared a me for a second and then said, deadpan, “I’m a five-foot-three, thirty-seven-year-old, single, Jewish medical examiner who needs to pick up his lederhosen from the dry cleaners so that he can play in a one-man polka band at Oktoberfest tomorrow.” He pushed up his glasses with his forefinger, folded his arms, and said, “Do your worst.”

-- Waldo Butters, Dead Beat.

Quote
The next time you interfere with me, more than smoke will interfere with you.

-- "Darth Wannabe", Day Off.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on September 05, 2009, 09:13:16 pm
I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.
--Yogi Berra


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on September 05, 2009, 09:41:48 pm
Ahh the Dresden Files are such great books.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on September 05, 2009, 10:11:31 pm
I shall be so brief that I am finished.
-Speech given by Salvador Dali.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on September 05, 2009, 10:45:26 pm
From My Life is Average:
"Today, a kid in my chemistry class cut out the Batman emblem from a piece of paper and put it on my extremely strict teacher's projector. When our teacher turned it on to write notes it showed up like the Batman help signal. My teacher quickly said "Gotham city needs me!" and ran out of the classroom. MLIA"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on September 05, 2009, 10:47:09 pm
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: RON WEASLY IS THAT YOU!?
You: HARRRY!?
Stranger: YES!
You:  =D
Stranger: BLOODY HELL! ITS YOU!
Stranger: QUICK! SNAPE IS COMING! USE YOUR WAND!
You: But...But Harry, I...
You: I forgot the condoms
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

LAWLOMEGLE


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on September 06, 2009, 12:17:12 am
Upon counting my birthday money and realizing I have $90 cash

Dad: What will you do with your newfound wealth?
Me: Buy Ethiopia.
Dad: What'll you do with the rest of it?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on September 06, 2009, 08:04:03 am
Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins, you can't imagine the smell.
--Robert Byrne


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on September 06, 2009, 05:56:07 pm
This one is a bit long, but--

You: You really shouldn't talk to strangers, you know.
Stranger: im a boig boy!
Stranger: im 16 i can do whatevah i want
You: BUT MOMMY LOVES YOU ;A; She's only worried about your safety.
Stranger: eh, i do drugs everyday!
You: I ride a unicorn everyday.
Stranger: i ate one
Stranger: with rainbow mustered on it
You: You ate Bale!? D8 Did the rainbow mustard at least sparkle?
Stranger: sparkled all the way down my throat! yummy!
You: Ah, okay. I can forgive you now C:
Stranger: u can have some if u want?1
You: -noms on unicorn-
Stranger: boo yeah!
Stranger: it was a trick! that wasnt unicorn but uranium!
You: DDDD8 I THOUGHT IT WAS OMNICRON?!
Stranger: i know!! i have tricked you, you fool!
You: I feel so ashamed! I knew I shouldn't have listened to that koala!
Stranger: im no koala!
Stranger: u are a koala!
You: Blasphemy! I won't listen to your lies -climbs up Eucalyptus tree-
Stranger: Good thing I am a lumberjack!
You: Nooo
Stranger: *tkaes out battle axe, hacks away*
Stranger: take this enviornment!
You: It's super effective!
Stranger: *takes out match* only I can start forest fires!
You: And only I can abduct you -shwangssss through UFO-
Stranger: oh snap
Stranger: im afraid of aliens!
You: I win. -probes-
Stranger: =[


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on September 06, 2009, 07:54:35 pm
From my TF2 server

Lemmiwinks:  I'm high right now guys, I don't know how well I'll do
 *I airshot him*
Me: Wow I just airshotted a stoned pyro, I'm so pro.
Someone: Ninja Rush has achieved "Sky High"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on September 07, 2009, 04:06:29 pm
 (Lox): Haha, when you said "Fairy tale" I imagined you sitting and reading the novelization of My Little Pony. :D
(23:56:41) (Grammer): ...
(23:57:09) (Grammer): You do know that Fairy Tail is a manga with pretty damn awesome magic fighting (and girls), right?
(23:57:30) (Lox): I do now. :D
(23:57:42) (Grammer): Just making sure...
(23:57:56) (Grammer): Because I'm totally into my little pony.
(00:00:22) (Lox): Hey, they ARE cute, for sure, those pesky little pink ponies. :D
(00:01:00) (Grammer): I know. You glance at one, and then you get drawn back by those glittery, beady lil' eyes.
(00:01:06) (Grammer): It's scary.
(00:03:28) (Lox): Yeah. :D
(00:03:42) (Lox): Hey, "The Pink Pony", that almost sounds like a supervillain. 8o
(00:03:58) (Grammer): Oh gods, poor guy!
(00:05:11) (Lox): Yeah. I can imagine Bond coming up with a badass comment before whacking him. :D
(00:05:37) (Grammer): I CAN IMAGINE HIS COSTUME! ARRRRGH!
(00:06:15) (Lox): AHAHAHAHA. :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on September 07, 2009, 09:58:16 pm
"Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of hot chocolate had vinegar added to it and were placed in a refrigerator for several hours. Aside from the weather, however, the day was as normal as a group of seals with wings riding about on unicycles, assuming that you lived someplace where that was very normal, until a mysterious - a word which here means 'arcane' - stranger came through the revolving door.

"The stranger was a woman, at least as tall as a small chair and probably as old as someone who attended nursery school many years ago. She was entirely dressed in articles of clothing, and had nothing on her feet except a pair of socks and two shoes. She cast a desperate glance around the lobby of the building, which was as empty as a beehive when all of the bees have been driven out of it, and thrust a packet of papers into my hands and began to speak in a voice that reminded me distinctly of her own."

(Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on September 07, 2009, 10:53:31 pm
Friend: omg i just noticed something in zombiehunters
Me: Eh?
Me: Charlie is more awesome than he's ever been? lol
Friend: yes but if you look at the strip you notice one of the council guys looks like Louis
Friend: *current
Me: Hahah, he does in that picture XDDD
Me: He's pretty muscly though, it looks like: http://thezombiehunters.com/index.php?strip_id=197
Friend: so that is what happens when Louis has his pills....
Me: XDDD Hahah. GRABBIN' PILLS


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on September 08, 2009, 04:25:35 pm
Quote
FROM: THE DESK OF THE CO-ORDINATOR, National Lottrey Sweeptake PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT. MICROSOFT CORPORATION WORLD LOTTERY UNITED KINGDOM.61-70 Southampton Row,Bloomsbury London . United Kingdom WC1B 4AR.ELECTRONIC MAIL AWARD

WINNING NOTIFICATION.

AWARD PRESENTATION CENTER:

UNITED KINGDOM.

 

    WINNING NOTIFICATION!       

Reference No:............. ILP/HW/AF.

Batch No:........... 006/5432/AF/07.

Ticket Number:..............SPL/382647/MA.

 

  Dear Lucky Winner No.5,

We the National Internet Lottrey Sweeptake, MICROSOFT COOPERATION MANAGEMENT WORLDWIDE are pleased to inform you of our this year's winners of our annual National Electronic Email Promotion. conducted in AFRICA BEING THE HOST OF THE EVENT FOR THIS PRESENT YEAR MEGA JACKPOT LOTTO WINNING PROGRAMS HELD ON  27 th AUGUST  2009. ticket number: SPL/382647/MA. WINNER NO: 5 with REFERENCE NO: ILP/HW/AF. and BATCH NO: 006/5432/AF/07. which subsequently won you lottery in the 2nd category of file You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of, US$850,000,00.   (EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTHY THOUSAND.USD DOLLARS) .

 

All participants in this lottery program were selected randomly through a computer ballot system, drawn from 85.000.000 individual email addresses from all search engines.Your e-mail address was picked by the automated computer ballot system, which has been programed for this random selection. This has eventually qualified you for the Winning.This promotional program takes place annually, and is promoted and sponsored by eminent personalities, Sultan of Brunei, Bill Gates of Microsoft Inc.With the support of European corporate companies and organizations to encourage the use of Internet and computers worldwide.

 

Please contact MR PETER SAMUEL In africa ( Vietnam )

 for your claim with the following details below to enable the speedy evaluation and processing of your winning.

1.Your Full Name:...........
2.Your Age:.................
3.Your Sex:.................
4.Your Address:.............
5.Your Phone:...............
6.Your Country:.............
7.Your Email:...............
8.Your Ticket Number........
9.Your Batch Number........

10.Refrence Number............

 

Please

Contact Your Claims Agent Office:

Name: MR PETER SAMUEL

Email : petersamuel@sify.com

 

 

Remember, all prize money must be claimed not later than the 27th september 2009. All funds not Claimed on or before the fixed date will be returned as Unclaimed and donated to charity organizations in africa .

Congratulations, once more from the entire Management and Staff of Microsoft Cooperation to all our lucky winners this year. Thank you for being part of this promotional lottery program. Our special thanks and gratitude to Bill Gate of Microsoft and all his Associates for alliviating poverty round the World.


We advice that you adhere strictly to these procedures to avoid disqualifications and subsequent cancellation.The above detailed information will be absolutely necessary to facilitate the process of your winning .Once again!  please Note that this winning is valid for one month and failure to issue claims after this period, your money will be automatically vold.

Congratulations!   


Sincerely,

Mikel Luga

Microsoft Mega Jackpot Lottery.
Lottery Zonal co-ordinator.

Most of that was actually size 18, bold, but out of consideration to others, I decided not to duplicate the formatting. It was not a pretty read.

And yes, I love spam mail and read all of it. Serisouly, I do.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: suntzu on September 08, 2009, 09:06:45 pm
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
--Woody Allen


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on September 08, 2009, 09:55:03 pm
"We are two guys from the future."
"Yeah, right. Now get the hell out of here!"
"Don't shoot! Is that a gun?"
That gave me pause; it was a flashlight. There were two of them. They both wore shimmery suits. The short one was kind of cute. The tall one did all the talking.
"Lady, we are serious guys from the future," he said. "This is not a hard-on."
"You mean a put-on," I said.

-"Two Guys From the Future," Terry Bisson


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zog on September 09, 2009, 03:41:21 pm
"We're supposed to talk to meat."     
"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."     
"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"     
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."     
"I thought you just told me they used radio."     
"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other.
They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

- "They're Made Out of Meat" by Terry Bisson


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 09, 2009, 03:43:14 pm
They talk by fapping their meat at each other.
This is what I read it as first time.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on September 10, 2009, 02:36:32 am
ok ok, I know this (http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnKZwvIShPU) is a song, but the lyrics to the song, for me, are one of the most deeply sad/inspiring/true words I have heard, and so I thought it would be ok to post the link here.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on September 10, 2009, 05:06:13 am
ok ok, I know this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnKZwvIShPU) is a song, but the lyrics to the song, for me, are one of the most deeply sad/inspiring/true words I have heard, and so I thought it would be ok to post the link here.
Fix'd.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on September 10, 2009, 05:08:29 am
Thanks. I kept getting Skip-Screen error messages when trying to open it >.<

Nice song.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 10, 2009, 05:54:52 am
"Sarcastic? Me? Nah."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: gen hiroshi on September 10, 2009, 07:43:17 am
"It feels so close to me, yet I can't reach it even if I hold out my hands. But even if I can't reach it, there are things that will stay in my heart. Being in the same time and looking at the same sky – if I can remember that, then even if we are far apart, I believe we can still be together." ~Emiya Shirou


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on September 10, 2009, 11:36:53 am
"Sarcastic? Me? Nah."
Yay, that was me. :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on September 11, 2009, 01:16:12 am
Fix'd.

Thanks, I obviously forgot to check if the link worked, sorry.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 11, 2009, 12:05:23 pm
"Right then lads, remember my BAFTA - dont fuck it up for me now!"

"I just blew all my Per Diems on a hooker."

"You guys are all fucking brilliant - I want to take you all home and do naughty things to all of ye."
- Francis Magee (Ordgar), 1066 filmwork


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 11, 2009, 04:03:11 pm
Dickey said:
You're like the Scout
William said:
what do you mean?
Dickey said:
Skinny annoying and drink a lot of caffine

William = me, by the way.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: YayItsJake on September 12, 2009, 05:17:27 pm
"As I grow older , I regret to say that a detestable habit of thinking seems to be getting a hold of me."
 - H. Rider Haggard

"Driving a beetle is sort of like having sex. It is not the first one done that wins."
 - Unknown VW owner

"If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people happy"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on September 12, 2009, 08:01:11 pm
"A memory of what I had seen disturbed me, yet I could not remember what it was."
-Mervyn Peake


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on September 12, 2009, 10:39:02 pm
I may rock, but I'm not made of stone.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 13, 2009, 02:26:13 pm
ModDB        Suit up and take on Strider Mountain to stop the ever relenting Strider Assault as Gordon Freeman. http://tiny.cc/K3jSH

DrMcNinja   @ModDB "Strider mountain, Charlie! Strider mountain!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on September 13, 2009, 02:34:15 pm
I laughed. xD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 13, 2009, 02:36:37 pm
That would be a hilarious cross-over.

And now I'm imagining TZH Charlie in a HEV suit.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 13, 2009, 07:41:38 pm
Oh, I know how to make these things work!

Step one: Cut it to pieces.

Step two: That's it, actually.

-Moi


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on September 13, 2009, 07:47:11 pm
That would be a hilarious cross-over.

And now I'm imagining TZH Charlie in a HEV suit.
xD
With Jasper as Barney.. Mercer as Kleiner..

"No zombie would be complete without a Charlie beating the hell out of it!"



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 13, 2009, 07:49:05 pm
Hmm...

Who would be G-man?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on September 13, 2009, 07:50:51 pm
Arthur?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 13, 2009, 11:49:40 pm
Sammie would have to be Barney, and Katie as a rebel with a RPG would be funny.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 14, 2009, 08:27:48 am
Wait, are we talking about HL1 or HL2?

EDIT- Derp.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on September 14, 2009, 05:17:49 pm
Dominique sagt (01:16):
 OMG my mind is dirty!
Dominique sagt (01:17):
 There was a button that said "click there" but I read it as "dicks everywhere"
Cass' sagt (01:18):
 xD
 hahahaha


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on September 14, 2009, 05:33:44 pm
She's spent too much time at 420chan >.<

"NextWave
would like to remind the audience that dragging insane, corrupt police officers who change into giant killer robots into an alleyway and shooting them a lot is very bad and no the Marvel way. And also still illegal in most states."

"No good can ever come off a robot in a bra."

"The hole makes me strangely attractive to myself." Aaron. (He got a spear through his chest.)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on September 14, 2009, 07:39:01 pm
Mah friend's status: is re-watching the VMA's. When Megan Fox came on, my mom was like, "It looks like someone took a bite out of Megan Fox's skirt...I'm lookin' at you Kanye". My mom is amazing."

This is why her mom gets all the love :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 14, 2009, 09:46:32 pm
The G8 has provoked numerous international incidents in the past. In 1994, then-Japanese Prime Minister Tomiichi Murayama forced the leaders of San Marino and Monaco to run a "naked mile" behind the United Nations building. And in 2000, Russia's Vladimir Putin delighted his fellow world leaders by repeatedly asking the president of Chechnya, "Why are you bombing yourself? Why are you bombing yourself?" during a prolonged bombardment of the capital, Grozny.

-The Onion


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 15, 2009, 02:03:30 am
Hey! SO HOW ARE WE DOING!
Field agents report 67% of the population already showing symptoms, sir.
And how is the Vaccine coming along?
*Laughs*

Oh, you kidder.  :{D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 15, 2009, 05:47:14 am
Quote from: Neckbeard
Quote from: Neckbeard
$20 he's using integrated graphics.
~580 some people viewed this thread. Only 14 agreed with me.

So I need $20 from ~566 people.

$11320, please.
Not insulting the guy, his username is Neckbeard.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Buddleia on September 15, 2009, 02:12:17 pm
My way has corset parties and dancing nuns.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sion_Revan on September 15, 2009, 07:53:30 pm
Quote
Given the choice; whether to rule a corrupt and failing empire or to challenge the Fates for another throw – a better throw – against one's destiny… what was a king to do? But does one ever truly have a choice? One can only match, move by move, the machinations of Fate, and thus defy the tyrannous stars.

- Kain, Legacy of Kain: Defiance.

Quote
Threat: Guards give up, meatbag. Assassin droids will hunt your whole family tree. Reconsider.

~

Player Character: Whoa, slow down there. Yes, I did purchase you...
HK-47: Explanation: Then you qualify as my master and I must refer to you as such. The legal requirements for models of my type are very specific, master.
Player Character: What legal requirements do you mean?
HK-47: Answer: Simply that the distinction between 'killer' and 'killee' be a clear one. I cannot kill of my own volition, naturally.
Player Character: I don't think 'killee' is a word.
HK-47: Expletive: Damn it, master, I am an assassination droid... not a dictionary!

~

HK-47: Query: Can I kill him now, master? I'd like ever so much to break his neck. It's been a long time fantasy of mine...
Player Character: Maybe later...
HK-47: Did you hear that meatbag? I WILL BE BACK!

~

My master had quite the collection of tortured individuals that seemed unable to confront their basic personality conflicts. Let me cite some specific examples:

Mockery: "Oh, master, I do not trust you! I cannot trust you or anyone ever again!"

Mockery: "Oh, master, I love you, but I hate all you stand for! I think we should go press our slimy, mucus-covered lips together in the cargo hold!"

Such pheromone-driven human responses never cease to decrease the charge in my capacitors and make me wish I could press a blaster pistol to my behavior core and pull the trigger. I am pleased that this does not seem to be the case with your current entourage.

- HK-47, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords.

Quote
You know what happens now, Jack? Well, he made mistakes... and he ended WITH HIS LIGHTS OUT!! YOU WANNA GET NUTS?!! COME ON, LET'S GET NUTS!!

- Bruce Wayne/Batman, Batman (1989).

Quote
Tell me something, my friend. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

~

I saw it! I was there. I saw it all. He reached up with his dead hand and he signed it in his own blood. ...and he did it with this pen. Hello, Vinny. It's your Uncle Bingo. Time to pay the check.

~

It's as though we were made for each other... Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I'll rip their lungs out.

~

Joker here. Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which were true, under that fiend Boss Grissom. He was a thief, and a terrorist. On the other hand he had a tremendous singing voice.

- Joker, Batman (1989).

Quote
There’s power in the night. There’s terror in the darkness. Despite all our accumulated history, learning, and experience, we remember. We remember times when we were too small to reach the light switch on the wall, and when the darkness itself was enough to make us cry out in fear. Get a good ways out from civilization-say, miles and miles away on a lightless lake-and the darkness is there, waiting. Twilight means more than just time to call the children in from playing outside. Fading light means more than just the end of another day. Night is when terrible things emerge from their sleep and seek soft flesh and hot blood. Night is when unseen beings with no regard for what our people have built and no place in what we have deemed the natural order look in at our world from outside, and think dark and alien thoughts. And sometimes, just sometimes, they do things.

- Harry Dresden, Turn Coat.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on September 15, 2009, 10:45:44 pm
Quote
Long fingers were considered a sought after trait. Seeing has how this person is of, at least a somewhat, high social standing, she would be depicted as such.

Her fingers were the 'Dat Ass' of the time period.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on September 15, 2009, 11:16:46 pm
Just because I'm friendly to her doesn't mean I want to drive my ship into her port.

~misremembered quote from SWKOTOR 2

I got the gist of it though.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on September 16, 2009, 01:46:17 am
Quote from:  Dream Theater

'Love, just don't stare'
He used to say to me
every Sunday morning
The spider in the window
The angel in the pool
The old man takes the poison
Now the widow makes the rules

'So speak, I'm right here'
She used to say to me
not a word, not a word
Judas on the ceiling
the Devil in my bed
I guess Easter's never coming
So I'll just wait inside my head

Like a scream but sort of silent
living off my nightmares

Voices repeating me
'Feeling threatened?
We reflect your hopes and fears.'
Voices discussing me
'Others steal your thoughts
they're not confined
within your mind.'

Thought disorder
Dream control
Now they read my mind on the radio
But where was the Garden of Eden?

I feel elated
I feel depressed
Sex is death, Death is sex
Says it right here on my Crucifix

Like a scream but sort of silent
living off my nightmares

Voices protecting me
'Good behavior
brings the Savior
to his knees.'
Voices rejecting me
'Others steal your thoughts
they're not confined
to your own mind.'

"I don't wanna be here, 'cause of my
suffering, 'cause of my illness.
Only love is worth having, only
love is what matters, loving every
people on equal terms. "
"You've got to know who you're
dealin' with because, like a stranger,
a-heh, just might come in through
here with a gun... and then, what
would you do? (Heh.)"
"Everything is immaterial..."
"'n' you know that reality is immaterial."
"This is not reality..."

I'm kneeling on the floor
staring at the wall
like the spider in the window
I wish that I could speak
Is there fantasy in refuge?
God in politicians?
Should I turn on my religion?
These demons in my head tell me to

I'm lying here in bed
Swear my skin is inside out
Just another Sunday morning

Seen my diary on the newsstand
Seems we've lost the truth to quicksand
It's a shame no one is praying
'Cause these voices in my head
keep saying...

'Love, just don't stare.'
'Reveal the Word when you're
supposed to'
Withdrawn and introverted
Infectiously perverted
'Being laughed at and confused
keeps us pleasantly amused
enough to stay.'

Maybe I'm just Cassandra fleeting
Twentieth century Icon bleeding
Willing to risk Salvation
to escape from isolation

I'm witness to redemption
heard you speak but never listened
Can you rid me of my secrets?
Deliver us from Darkness?

Voices repeating me
'Feeling threatened?
We reflect your hopes and fears.'
Voices discussing me
Don't expect your own Messiah
This neverworld which you desire
is only in your mind.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 16, 2009, 01:52:01 pm
19:51 - [TZH] McNinja: sex is like explosives, friggin' awesome, but can permanently fuck your life up.
19:51 - MLE: XDD
19:51 - MLE: Awesome analogy
19:55 - [TZH] McNinja: yep, and the more you have the more careful you have to be too.

Sex advice from a expert on the subject =D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on September 16, 2009, 03:03:21 pm
Pffft "Expert" XDDDD

How embarrassing, zey let a man of science escape with ze papers!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on September 16, 2009, 07:21:08 pm
Take particular care with endings, for their colour will forever tinge your memory.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 17, 2009, 04:22:28 pm
"You were betrayed by so many puppies."

"Bullshit, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!"

Jenny on her live stream


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ransom.My.Heart on September 17, 2009, 08:34:57 pm
Q1: My friend: "We're livin' life to the beat of Space Jam!"
Q2: Also my friend: "Wonder team, go!"

Q3:
Masam: *tells story of how he met Henry Winkler "aka Fonzie" and shook his hand*
Me: O.O don't wash your hand until I see you tomorrow.
Masam: Why wanna shake my hand first?
Me: ....ish.
Masam: ?
Me: Yay I'm gonna have The Fonzie inside of me via the transitive property!!
Masam: ....
Me: Love me.
Masam: I may actually love you more after that comment.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on September 17, 2009, 10:08:12 pm
Sam: Why are you so irritable today?
Me: You took the girl I like, tried to make it sound like not such a big deal, and I just jammed a goddamn motherfucking fish hook through my ear!
Sam: So, what, does this mean we can't be friends?
Me: YOU'RE A FAGGOT AND I HAVE TO GO; MY EAR IS BLEEDING


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 18, 2009, 01:18:59 pm
"Orphan was critically struck in the groin for 235 damage"

Fallout 2 is awesome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sion_Revan on September 18, 2009, 07:06:25 pm
Quote
Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

Clark Griswald, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on September 18, 2009, 07:10:35 pm
Graham: Hey, MLE! Cool, you're back pockets are like celtic knots!
Me: Why are you looking at my back pockets?
Graham: Well, you were bending over.
Me: .... .___.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on September 18, 2009, 07:14:05 pm
What's wrong MLE?  If you were my age, and you bent over, I can admit I would probably look.  But then again, I would do that with any attractive female.  And still do to this day.  (/creepout)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on September 18, 2009, 07:16:28 pm
Haha, it was just awkward at the time and how it was said. My friend felt so proud of himself.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 18, 2009, 09:25:49 pm
Hey, at least he admits to checking out your arse.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on September 18, 2009, 09:37:42 pm
I agree.  And for the record, I will not do what RB says I usually do.  Which is up the creep-o-meter :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on September 18, 2009, 09:40:39 pm
Haha, true true. XDD But it's sort of one of those things where at times you'd rather not know, I guess? Haha, it's hard to explain.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 18, 2009, 09:47:11 pm
Eh, fair enough. I tend to take random ogling and groping* as a compliment, but we're all different.

(*Yes, that has happened.)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on September 19, 2009, 02:27:05 pm
"You don't know more music than I do. *I'm* indie." -douchebag friend of my roomates.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 19, 2009, 02:37:14 pm
"Why hello, I'm a gigantic tool." -douchebag friend of my roomates.
Fix'd.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on September 19, 2009, 02:46:25 pm
Pretty much. Arrogant prick he is.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 20, 2009, 11:57:04 am
"I'm gonna peel you like a butterfly!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on September 20, 2009, 12:34:09 pm
Douglas Adams "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on September 20, 2009, 02:13:20 pm
"To them, there's a whole autobiography written out in that other dog's asshole."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on September 20, 2009, 02:21:13 pm
Benjamin Franklin, "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on September 20, 2009, 05:22:31 pm
Douglas Adams "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on September 20, 2009, 07:18:01 pm
"If your mother wasn't picking you up later today, I would punch you right in the face."

                    -Random guy we overheard at a red light.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on September 20, 2009, 08:57:36 pm
"Well, Mischa i think your article is EGG.EGG. ANGEL EGG. Perfect."
Me at Way's house working on project.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on September 21, 2009, 03:17:45 am
Everyday sends future to past. Every breath leaves me one less to my last. Every step brings me closer to my last. -Dream Theater


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on September 21, 2009, 10:17:43 am
"I'm going to make this brief, because I don't want to be interrupted by a rapper or congressman."
 -Ken Howard at the Emmy's


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 21, 2009, 10:37:49 am
"Your ma is so fat, escape velocity at her surface exceeds three times ten to the nine meters per second."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 21, 2009, 12:28:55 pm
"Have an erection with MONO Scaffolding"

An ad for a local scaffolding company.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on September 21, 2009, 02:56:04 pm
"Your ma is so fat, escape velocity at her surface exceeds three times ten to the nine meters per second."
"Your mama's so fat, she'd score higher on the Richter scale than on an IQ test."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 21, 2009, 10:00:48 pm
*Someone mentions Yuri porn*

Me- "Cosmonaut pornography! Da!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on September 22, 2009, 03:51:44 pm
"Cheating is like winning, but easy."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on September 22, 2009, 06:37:21 pm
"He was white and shaken, like a dry martini." -Wodehouse


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on September 23, 2009, 01:04:04 am
"Today, I was babysitting three young children with my boyfriend. The three year old girl is in full foot to chest braces. We were playing outside and she said to my boyfriend "I can't run like my brother and sister" and he replied "yes but you can fly" and picked her up and flew her around all day. I have never seen her so happy. His love GMH "


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on September 23, 2009, 07:15:59 am
"and then Buffy staked Edward"

~Google sugestions


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 23, 2009, 01:58:19 pm
"Are you shitting a dick-nipple?"

There's a guy in my class with fairly creative swearing.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on September 23, 2009, 03:37:47 pm
"We can never touch the people we love! We can only capture and do wrong things to the opposing team instead"

Fun times in TF2 today, some guy going off about teammates being unable to touch each other. Yes.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on September 23, 2009, 06:36:53 pm
Love. You can know all the math in the 'Verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells ya she's hurtin' 'fore she keens. Makes her home.


Malcom Reynolds( Nathan Fillion), Serenity.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on September 23, 2009, 09:45:53 pm
"Are you shitting a dick-nipple?"

There's a guy in my class with fairly creative swearing.

That's more of a *chan troll thing.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on September 24, 2009, 04:11:18 am
RB: Shiiit.  The shirt I was going to wear today has Manwich stains.
RB: ><
Me: XDDDD That could be taken in a wide variety of ways


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on September 24, 2009, 06:47:30 am
“Cosmology is still not a proper science.”

STEPHEN HAWKING 1999

I love the QI Quote of the Day RSS.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: PwntheNoob17 on September 24, 2009, 12:44:46 pm
"What the fish paste?!?"
- cousins boyfriend


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on September 25, 2009, 10:47:02 pm
Lorinda says:
on my deathbed, someone will say, "Guess what?"
Lorinda says:
and I'll say, "No."
Lorinda says:
and then
Lorinda says:
dead


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Buddleia on September 26, 2009, 05:09:28 am
Sure there's a high ratio of attractive people on this forum established way back. I'm the statistical averager. But my girlfriend thinks I'm pretty and as she's the only one I care about there are many nice Forum Crazies whose opinions you should listen to. Many of whom are hardly ever weird, deviant or worrying at all and so may be trustworthy.

What a compliment! C:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 26, 2009, 06:05:35 am
Hey, that means I'm trust worthy! =D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on September 26, 2009, 07:38:11 am
Yes, Log, you have trained me well. xD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 26, 2009, 11:45:33 am
Dickey says (18:42):
William
I might go crazy here
William says (18:46):
why?
Dickey says (18:47):
It's a Saturday night
I've got no drink
I'm exhausted
And everyone's clubbing
Well, willl be in about 40 minutes.
Dickey says (18:48):
I need some wiminz:C
William says (18:48):
welcome to my world
check your coat in at the door


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on September 26, 2009, 11:48:41 am
"Dear god this poor man mutated into miss piggy on a dragon"

~cuzz


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on September 26, 2009, 12:49:11 pm
"I love Sexy Sushi"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 26, 2009, 03:12:56 pm
"mmmm....paint thinnner...."

Sammie, on the Ustream.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gezkill on September 29, 2009, 01:38:11 am
Little convo between me and my bro.

Bro:Playing Brutal Legend?
Me:Yep
Bro:..Is that a giant snake with a vagina for a mouth chasing you around?
Me:Yep
Bro:In a Muscle Car called the Druid Plow.
Me:Yep
Bro:Geeze this games fucking awesome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on September 29, 2009, 01:42:09 am
Christopher
 so almost used a quote in my paper from lamb of god

Aaron
Haha

Christopher
but it wouldnt work
lol

Aaron
that would've gone well

Christopher
for a wounded man may say to his assailent if i live i will kill you but if i die you are forgiven
lol
but that don't work with nonviolent resistance

Aaron
No, not so much, haha

Christopher
isnt this from one of there songs
for it is better to die a fool than a coward
lol
or am i just losing it

Aaron
It's close to a quote from the song you mentioned earlier
Omerta

Christopher
thought as much
so thinking im gonna throw that part in though cause people did die during those nonviolent things

Aaron
Yeah, but that can't really be applicable, because that quote basically talks about vengeance, whereas nonviolent protesters were against that type of thing

Christopher
true but im just gonna use the better to die a fool than a coward because they foolsh for protesting without alot of help by defending themselves but prove that they arnt cowards cause they will put themselves into that prodicament to fight for there rights

Aaron
That probably won't be too bad. But, I'm getting tired, so I think I'm going to go to bed



So... He's a really nice guy. He's... Well... Not bright.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on September 29, 2009, 04:33:22 am
Christopher has officially broked my brains.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on September 30, 2009, 11:21:36 am
William says (18:20):
*A link*
The Infamous Hobo says (18:20):
Do i even want to
William says (18:20):
probably not, but you'll click anyway
The Infamous Hobo says (18:21):
I WANT DIE NOW


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on September 30, 2009, 09:55:26 pm
"Are you ready for some underwear music?! This is Victoria's Secret!"- Tony Kakko from Sonata Arctica


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 01, 2009, 12:51:44 am
The Rainy Day by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust more dead leaves fall,.
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold and dark and dreary.
It rains and the wind is never weary.
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering past.
And youth's fond hopes fall thick in the blast.
And my life is dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart and cease repining
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining
Thy fate is the common fate of all
Into each life some rain must fall
Some days must be dark and dreary.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on October 01, 2009, 09:38:18 am
The United States is finally catching onto Black Adder. So that's what Obama meant when he said "hope" and "change".

-Someone on another forum


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on October 01, 2009, 06:49:19 pm
Her (7:51:37 PM): Yeah, I guess.
Me (7:52:10 PM): Okay, maybe a joke will cheer you up.
Me (7:52:16 PM): So a horse walks into a bar
Me (7:52:28 PM): The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
Her (7:52:33 PM): Haha..
Me (7:52:45 PM): The horse says 'My son was diagnosed with cancer."
Her (7:52:49 PM): D:
Me (7:52:55 PM): Anti-jokes ftw


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on October 02, 2009, 09:37:18 pm
"and they have rough sex on the sofa all nigh looong!!!!"

The description of the ending of ZOmbieland on Wikipedia. Don't worry. I didn't spoil anything.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Flying Teapot on October 02, 2009, 09:50:34 pm
Castiel: This isn't funny Dean. The voice says I'm almost out of minutes!
-Supernatural. By the way this is an angel talking on a cell phone.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on October 02, 2009, 09:52:55 pm
"GEEEEEYAAARDEN MEEYOOOSIC!"

`waytouy


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on October 03, 2009, 03:20:22 am
"Are you ready for some underwear music?! This is Victoria's Secret!"- Tony Kakko from Sonata Arctica

*Highfives Milly.*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on October 04, 2009, 02:29:47 pm
20:46 - [TZH] McNinja: I fail at arts, I wish I could draw :/
20:46 - MLE: -pats-
20:47 - MLE: It would be the end of the world, if you could draw. You'd destroy everyone's brians.
20:47 - MLE: So it's best that you can't XDD
20:47 - [TZH] McNinja: XD
20:47 - [TZH] McNinja: this is true
20:48 - MLE: XD
20:49 - [TZH] McNinja: it would be awesome though
20:49 - MLE: x3
20:51 - [TZH] McNinja: best apolypse ever
20:51 - MLE: Awesome spelling
20:51 - MLE: XD
20:51 - [TZH] McNinja: death by porn! :D



21:15 - [TZH] McNinja: this anime is weird, the moon is a giant robot
21:16 - MLE: ...unicron?
21:17 - [TZH] McNinja: more like the deathstar
21:17 - MLE: XD
21:19 - [TZH] McNinja: even has the big green lasers
21:19 - MLE: Oh wow
21:19 - [TZH] McNinja: but about a million of them, and they're smaller
21:20 - MLE: Told you it was apples.
21:21 - [TZH] McNinja: XD
21:21 - MLE: CB
21:25 - [TZH] McNinja: and now it turned into a huge battle ship
21:25 - [TZH] McNinja: what
21:26 - MLE: ...
21:26 - MLE: whut.
21:26 - MLE: Well, it IS  robot.
21:26 - MLE: *a robot
21:27 - [TZH] McNinja: yeah, but it doesn't make much sense
21:27 - MLE: it's Gurren Lagann.
21:27 - [TZH] McNinja: it's powered by fighting spirit and hornyness too
21:27 - MLE: ...-facepalm-
21:28 - [TZH] McNinja: yeah
21:29 - [TZH] McNinja: so the best way time pilot it would be to have really rough sex at the same time
21:29 - MLE: XDD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on October 04, 2009, 06:50:38 pm
*high fives Grammer back* :D

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect... It means that you have decided to look past the imperfections."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: baboosh on October 04, 2009, 06:51:43 pm
"If somthings bothering you kick it in the face and move on."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on October 04, 2009, 08:21:08 pm
*While walking my friend to her house through the woods*
'Yeah, not much regular stuff happens to me; it's always ominous and spooky.'
*Car alarm goes off somewhere in the woods, followed by coyotes howling and heat mightning streak across the sky*
'.... see? That would SCARE most people.'


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on October 05, 2009, 01:05:48 pm
"To be the object of desire is to be defined in the passive case.
T exist in the passive case is to die in the passive case - that is,to be killed.
This is the moral of the fairy tale about the perfect woman."

Angela Carter.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on October 06, 2009, 02:42:15 pm
I don’t have, need, or want friends. Any time spent with friends is time that could be much better spent with myself, masturbating furiously.
-ODERUS URUNGUS


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on October 06, 2009, 04:07:09 pm
I've been known to have them two or three at a time.

this quote, without any context, brought to you by Cass'!  ;D
 ::)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 06, 2009, 04:09:05 pm
I don't see how that can be taken out of context.

Maybe if it was "take" instead of "have".


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on October 06, 2009, 04:51:29 pm
i think "have" works well enough here ^^


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 06, 2009, 05:25:59 pm
Explain it to me then.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on October 06, 2009, 07:01:53 pm
To "have" them in the way one would "have" a woman.

Two or three at a time.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 06, 2009, 07:04:38 pm
Meh.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on October 06, 2009, 07:22:12 pm
Cass wishes everyone would giggle at possible sexual insinuations. *pinches butt*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on October 06, 2009, 07:25:47 pm
To "have" them in the way one would "have" a woman.

Two or three at a time.

yes!

Meh.

xP

Cass wishes everyone would giggle at possible sexual insinuations. *pinches butt*

:3


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 06, 2009, 08:06:32 pm
I was expecting an insult, not a compliment. :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on October 06, 2009, 08:19:40 pm
i'm dirtyminded first! an asshole second!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on October 06, 2009, 08:34:06 pm


Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “I need binoculars.”

(I show him a selection of binoculars.)

Customer: “No, no, no. Not one of these. I want one with a magnification of fifty or so.”

Me: “I’m sorry, there are no binoculars with a magnification of fifty.”

Customer: “Are you saying I’m wrong? I’m an engineer. I have two diplomas. Two! I know how things work, thank you!”

(He grabs one of the binoculars, holds it the wrong way round and looks through it.)

Customer: “This one’s broken!”

PAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. i love TCNAR!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on October 07, 2009, 12:33:01 pm
A Cyber Sex Story :D

Quote
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: { [logged off]


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on October 07, 2009, 12:42:06 pm
that's hilarious Riceguard!  I had a similar one once.  It went something like this:

Girl: Hey wanna cyber?
Me: Uhh...sure.
Girl: Cool.  I start kissing your neck and moving my body against yours.
Me: I jump back as a ceiling rafter falls and caves your head in
Girl: What?
Me: <log off>


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on October 07, 2009, 12:48:04 pm
Because self mockery is fun.


William says (19:42):
argument won! I'm more immature than the person she was talking about, but less childish!
Samek says (19:42):
o___O
You're kidding right?  That means the same thing.
William says (19:43):
shush, I won a argument :3
Samek says (19:43):
See, now you're being immature and childish. XD
Samek says (19:44):
Same thing.
William says (19:44):
and childish is more acting like you're eight, immature is acting like you're twelve =P
Samek says (19:44):
... No, it means the same thing.  How immature you're acting makes the difference in age.
Samek says (19:45):
Actually, you going to other people for second opinions to win an argument was pretty immature of you too. XD
Are you sure you won that argument? XP
William says (19:45):
...
no fair, I just got Jedi mind trick'd
Samek says (19:46):
XDDD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on October 07, 2009, 12:54:24 pm
For more of those cyber stories, go to Encyclopedia Dramatica and search for Bloodninja. There's a link to the archive with his logs there and they are hilarious.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on October 07, 2009, 01:07:28 pm
holy crap, Bloodninja has me dying of laughter over here!  This guy is totally crazy!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on October 07, 2009, 03:13:44 pm
holy crap, Bloodninja has me dying of laughter over here!  This guy is totally crazy!
AARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I love the pirate one. I see his logs way too often.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 07, 2009, 09:01:17 pm
"They shot without warning! Talk about shooting your load too early!"
 - Momoko (Shangri-La)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on October 08, 2009, 06:14:30 am
"Actually, bears are quite ferocious."

Profound wisdom from one of my friends. We don't pay much attention to her.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on October 11, 2009, 06:51:10 am
"the Genuine Windows Vista® Home Premium oversees the smooth operation of your software."

Found in the sales pitch for a computer.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on October 11, 2009, 05:03:13 pm
I was reading about a little kid whose mom told him the key to life was happiness. When he was in school the teacher asked them to write down what they wanted to be when they grew up. He said happy. They said he didn't understand the assignment. He said they didn't understand life. My generation GMH

-From http://www.givesmehope.com (http://www.givesmehope.com)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on October 12, 2009, 01:30:36 am
When I was reading those quotes that one was the one that stood out to me too. :) I was going to post it here, but I forgot. So I'm glad you did! I think we all could learn a lot from children, one of the reasons why I'm studying to become a earlychildhood educator.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Yutrzenika on October 12, 2009, 01:47:20 am
"If You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going."
- Winston Churchill

One of my favorites.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on October 13, 2009, 02:17:47 am
"Now, Through the Looking Glass, that poem "The Walrus and the Carpenter," that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and good nature, obviously represents either Buddha or, with his tusks, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha – that takes care of your eastern religions. Now, the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the western religions. Now, in the poem, what do they do? What do they do? They dupe all these oysters into following them, and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. Now, I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensures the destruction of one's inner being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions, out of fear of some intangible parent figure, who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says "Do it, do it and I'll fucking spank you!"" - Loki - Dogma


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 13, 2009, 06:16:45 am
Allyssa
wonderful
ah yes i miss my bestie
its been like a month since ive seen her

Aaron
Well, two-ish days


Me talking to my girlfriend's "Best" friend. And now she's talking about how bad she has it because she only gets to see HER boyfriend on the weekends. Oh gee. That must be AWFUL.


Douglas
I'm on a Mac, right now
I'm displeased

Aaron
Put a virus on it

Douglas
lolololol

Aaron
lolololol
I like how we just made fun of a Mac's lack of viruses



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on October 13, 2009, 04:07:58 pm
"Gummi"
- The German language, caught in the act of having funny words.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on October 14, 2009, 05:12:57 am
Me and my 3 friends playing Rainbow Six Vegas 2. The one friend was new and thought he was better at it then me.

Him: Yeah, you suck at this. I'm way better then you.
Me: Probably not
-Me firing shots right over his shoulder-
-Medal pops up for head shot, and exp pops up for everybody-
Me: Oh yeah, fyi I just kept you alive. You're welcome
Him:... Shut up


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on October 14, 2009, 04:19:04 pm
No one likes a braggart.

From Facebook:

Rubberduckzilla has always been a huge fan of David Beckham, but with this new beard/moustache combo he looks like a tramp. Not one you'd give money to either, one of those scary ones that drunkenly mutter nonsense at you whilst lying in their own piss next to ...'Abbi is a man' and the rest of the obscene graffiti scrawled onto the walls by mindless yobs and the general scum of society. Quack.

EDIT-

Mr. Romance here really knows the way to a girl's heart, doesn't he? (Through the ribcage with an M-16.)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on October 16, 2009, 07:51:07 am
Some people make me facepalm so hard I'm surprised I haven't redecorated the wall behind me.

(http://img104.imageshack.us/img104/3733/freakinmoron.png)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on October 16, 2009, 12:37:16 pm
I question that persons intelligence.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on October 16, 2009, 01:00:21 pm
Best. Ban. Reason. Ever!!!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on October 16, 2009, 01:16:27 pm
That's not what they got banned for, don't know what they did.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on October 16, 2009, 02:19:32 pm
Today, I checked my Calc grade online. I got a 2905 out of 30 on a math test. I now have an 892 % in the class. I don't think I'm going to tell the teacher.

- MLIA


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on October 16, 2009, 02:25:50 pm
That lucky bastad.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on October 16, 2009, 08:04:52 pm
Best. Ban. Reason. Ever!!!
That's not what they got banned for, don't know what they did.
McNinja, I believe he meant "Retardation" being the best ban reason.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on October 17, 2009, 05:31:13 am
That's the guy's username, quite apt XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on October 17, 2009, 10:23:32 am

Quote
Never forget... Every person will remember where they were on the day that all of America stopped working to watch an empty balloon fly around.
-frickmann123 (Newgrounds.)


http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/514834


References to the Story of the Boy and the Balloon: (Truth be told... he was never really in the Balloon to begin with. lol.)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on October 17, 2009, 11:36:43 pm
Today, I checked my Calc grade online. I got a 2905 out of 30 on a math test. I now have an 892 % in the class. I don't think I'm going to tell the teacher.

- MLIA

Awesome


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on October 18, 2009, 09:35:06 am
William says (16:37):
*google it
The Infamous Hobo says (16:37):
*"why is henry gantt a faggot"
William says (16:38):
*hahah
The Infamous Hobo says (16:39):
*I got somthing that his chart can follow
*And keep track of
*How far my foot is up his ass
The Infamous Hobo says (16:40):
*The milistone being his lungs


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on October 18, 2009, 05:24:25 pm
pokemon reference, ahoy!

Me: I learned my first mistake in moving into the dorms: I forgot my DS lite and have the sudden urge to play any type of Pokemon game.
MLE: -is playing Pokemon right now, fer srs lul-
Me: :C
MLE: ILU.
MLE: Like a Skitty loves a Wailord.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on October 18, 2009, 05:54:13 pm
pokemon reference, ahoy!

Me: I learned my first mistake in moving into the dorms: I forgot my DS lite and have the sudden urge to play any type of Pokemon game.
MLE: -is playing Pokemon right now, fer srs lul-
Me: :C
MLE: ILU.
MLE: Like a Skitty loves a Wailord.

Be the best sister evaer and mail it to her.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on October 18, 2009, 06:01:00 pm
Eh, Hail's coming back up in like a month. So she can deal (ILU HAIL)

Nathan Fillion puts it best:
"Robot test #12. Go see Pixar's UP. If your date doesn't cry, robot."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on October 18, 2009, 06:46:13 pm
I saw this in somebody's sig on Forgehub:

'Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a rake.'


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on October 19, 2009, 02:33:13 pm
I got a call from my friend while I was at the railroad bridge, and it went something like this:

Me: I'm chilling at the train bridge, looking at the graffiti.
Her: Oh, look out for trains.
Me: Hahaha, I think I'd have to be pretty dumb to miss a TRAIN coming at me.
Her: You have your earbuds in, don't you?
Me: ....
*Train blows its whistle further up the tracks*

Sometimes, life is full of awesome timing.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on October 19, 2009, 08:01:35 pm
Stupidity is subjective, but that doesn't give you the excuse to subject me to it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 20, 2009, 12:00:22 pm
So, I'm playing Demon's Souls, and fighting a giant bossed named "Flamelurker." He is bright red, like lava, and completely on fire. My friend walks into the room, and in complete seriousness, says "Oh man, who's that guy? I bet fire won't work well on him."

Doug: Isn't this from that one place? Where everything is fancy and gay and stuff?
Andrew: Europe?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on October 20, 2009, 12:49:08 pm
William says (18:36):
I'm fucking cold
William says (18:37):
it's like 10C in here and the boiler's not working
Lewis says (18:38):
Lets have sex
William says (18:40):
I swear it's only that small because it's cold


EDITS
"You know, it'd be much better off just growing your own tail. I tried that once though, and I shit my pants."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on October 21, 2009, 11:03:51 pm
TeeZee says:
 I would tits all over some tits
 I am interested in the Spine-Cracking Hugs lyrics
Alex says:
 they go something like this
 BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
 HE HAS FOUND YOU
 HE IS HUGGING YOUU
 YOU HAVE BEEN HUGGED
TeeZee says:
 XD
Alex says:
 BY THE TACO ZOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
 YOUR SPINE BREAKS
 YOU HAVE BEEN PARALYZED
 BY THE TACO ZOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
TeeZee says:
 That
 is beautiful
Alex says:
 TACO ZOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
 fin.
TeeZee says:
 *tears*
 You'll have to record that one day
 It will become the next big thing in metal


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on October 22, 2009, 12:17:16 am
Want.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on October 22, 2009, 09:54:41 am
Want indeed.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on October 22, 2009, 01:46:18 pm
My grandparents are visiting and my mom and nana were talking about when my dad first introduced my mom to them before they got married (My mom had been about 7 months pregnant at the time)

Nana: (about my mom's pregnancy): How'd that happen?
Dad: The usual.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on October 22, 2009, 02:17:08 pm
William says (21:22):
Did you hear Obama got the Nobel peace prize?
Tori says (21:22):
Yeah
William says (21:22):
I called Kayne West way worse than a jackass and I didn't get one


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: SharpArcher01 on October 22, 2009, 06:42:36 pm
"My tone of voice is a direct reflection of your attitude." -Unattributed


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Silver on October 22, 2009, 08:12:49 pm
"My liver!  I'd wondered where that had gotten off to."
-Galen the technomage, Crusade


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on October 22, 2009, 08:45:42 pm
"I think the best part about being my dog must be getting to see me naked all the time."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on October 22, 2009, 08:49:42 pm
I approve of that quote.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on October 22, 2009, 09:52:13 pm
"the entire dialouge from freeman's mind"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on October 23, 2009, 05:53:35 am
"Caution. Laser! Caution. Laser! Caution. Laser! Caution. Laser!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on October 23, 2009, 08:49:58 am
"What could it mean?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on October 23, 2009, 09:12:30 am
"You sank my battleship. And you sunk it hard. Boom."
-Said seductively by Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) in Glee


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on October 23, 2009, 09:52:01 am
"I'll just walk in there like I own the damn place."

Ross Scott is the god of machinima.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 23, 2009, 08:25:16 pm
"Though dormant on the surface, the volcanic activity deep underground provides your house with a source of GEOTHERMAL POWER. You are not sure why your grandfather decided to draw from this source of energy when he had the UNLIMITED POWER OF THE ATOM at his disposal. But it has been this way for as long as you can remember.

You have chalked it up to your family's longstanding propensity for eclectic fursuits wait you mean pursuits."

Edit:
Quote from: weirdguy
Quote from: Argh!
Quote from: Mikker
Quote from: The Lord of Hats
Jade is morally obligated to fuse the guitar and rifle together the moment she enters the medium.

The solos will be absolutely killer. (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/phpBB3/images/smilies/icon_razz_b.gif)

Quote from: weirdguy
She is also somewhat obligated to figure out how to fashion some modifications to use the uranium and the electromagnets as parts for a railgun and suitable ammunition.

There are some complications involving how to get a squiddle to be aerodynamic while being fired tentacles forward, though.

Combine those two, and you got one big ass mother-
Shut your mouth!
He's just talking about the magnetic shaft.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on October 24, 2009, 12:47:39 pm
"Linux is not designed for games, it's designed for people who know what their doing."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on October 24, 2009, 02:41:38 pm
(whilst training on Iron Island in Pokemon Platinum, my friend kept encountered Gravelers which kept self-destructin')
Paru: Geeze, Japan should have hired Gravelers during WWII =____=


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 24, 2009, 03:40:33 pm
"That's how you get AIDS."

 - A classmate on not cleaning keyboards


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on October 24, 2009, 06:33:05 pm
Good AIDS or bad AIDS?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 24, 2009, 09:54:04 pm
What is good AIDS?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on October 24, 2009, 10:08:35 pm
Aids that help you lose weight.  Like Jared from Subway had in South Park


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 24, 2009, 10:30:30 pm
Greg Purple:"Finds it kind of sad that other than Tomm, Megan might be my only understanding friend. Well, and Flores. But out of all my friends that have seen it all, those two are the most understanding friends if have. Love you guys!"

Me: I'm so metal right now. Fuck yeah Bloodbath.



Because other people's lives are Srs business.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on October 24, 2009, 10:36:08 pm
"Gotta bake me some KY cake!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on October 25, 2009, 04:47:25 am
*Is metal together with Log.*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 25, 2009, 02:37:06 pm
(23:57:09) (Grammer): You do know that Fairy Tail is a manga with pretty damn awesome magic fighting (and girls), right?
Is it bad that I immediately recognized the artist by the style?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on October 25, 2009, 05:10:42 pm
Not really. The only one I could think of mixing him up with is Einchiro Oda.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on October 25, 2009, 05:31:38 pm
"WHERE THE FUCK DID BAZOOKA JOE'S EYE GO?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 25, 2009, 06:36:16 pm
 Maria Joy  doesnt want to play farmville. if you want to invite someone, invite ryan. he loves it.

Ryan Cagney
No I don't you cruel woman!

Aaron Michael McNabney
Shit yeah Ryan loves it. Just the other day he was like "Dude, I wish some more people invited me to Farmville, it's so great."

Stephen Kelley
Ryan loves Farmville. Every time I see him on the computer he's harvesting his crops and accepting app invites.

Aaron Michael McNabney
I heard somewhere you get double bonuses for sending him App invites.

Stephen Kelley
Yeah you do. You get like 10000 coins and a surprise animal every time you invite him.

Aaron Michael McNabney
And a unicorn.

Stephen Kelley
And when you harvest the unicorn it turns into a pegasus/unicorn crossbreed and you can use it to fly to the moon and harvest moon man artifacts.

Aaron Michael McNabney
Which you can, in turn, sell for several thousand coins.

Stephen Kelley
or you can read the moon runes and set up a farm on the moon and grow space crops. which are worth even more. Farmville is deep like that.

Aaron Michael McNabney
Or do that. If you plant the right crops, you can even colonize the moon.

Stephen Kelley
Once you colonize the moon you get to work your way across the solar system and eventually the whole universe.

Aaron Michael McNabney
Once you rule the universe, you finally get to settle down and build a family in your ninety story sun-tower. Sex scenes aplenty, let me tell you.

Stephen Kelley
Then you turn into Galactus and get to eat all the planets.

Aaron Michael McNabney
Hell yeah, and then you and the silver surfer high five.

Stephen Kelley
Then the game is over, probably should have spoiler'd this. Anyway, the point is that you can't do all that cool shit unless you send Ryan a shit ton of Farmville invites.

Aaron Michael McNabney
Like, at least twenty six. AT LEAST.

Stephen Kelley
The more you send the more you get.


On someone's facebook status.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on October 25, 2009, 10:48:09 pm
“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” Plutarch


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on October 25, 2009, 10:51:53 pm
Clerk:  "Do you have our rewards card?"
Me:  "No thank you."
Clerk: "Do you know about it."
Me: "Yes, you just asked if I had one."
Clerk: "Oh."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 25, 2009, 11:23:21 pm
Yes Boomstick. I love you so much, my heart cries out in sorrow like a lamenting phoenix everytime I never post after you. We should elope to Italy.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on October 26, 2009, 08:16:45 am
That was just fun. I read that while in class and laughed loudly, and my friends thought I was retarded.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Silver on October 26, 2009, 09:00:44 pm
"And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts,
And I looked and behold: a pale horse.
And his name, that sat on him, was Death.
And Hell follwed with him."

-Johnny Cash's The Man Comes Around, as quoted (sung?) by The Commander of The Protomen, Dead of Summer Book 2, page 51 (http://www.deadofsummer.org/2007/06/22/comic-251-hope-rides/)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 27, 2009, 12:13:23 am
"Why buy a toy when you can get me for free?"

"Because you're half the size and less intelligent."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on October 27, 2009, 06:09:15 pm
"Take your bad mood and turn it into a weapon, then kill yourself with it."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Waytouy on October 27, 2009, 10:32:51 pm
Drink your school, stay in milk, don't do sleep, and get 8 hours of drugs.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on October 28, 2009, 12:39:33 am
A quote from Sohmer of http://www.leasticoulddo.com

A few minutes ago, a group of four 17 year olds walked into The 4th Wall for the sole purpose of making fun of comic books, graphic novels and the people who like them. For the majority of their visit, I managed to refrain from punching any of them in the head or opening my mouth…up until this moment:

Girl 1: So, like, was this always your dream? To open up a little comic book shop for dorks?
Me: Actually, no. My dream was to become an astronaut, but that was cut short when NASA discovered my secret.
Girl 1: Your secret?
Me: Yeah, turns out I love kicking ignorant teens who condescend to others. In the throat.
Girl 1: What?
Me: You want to come in the back room for a sec?
Girl 2: We should probably get going.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on October 28, 2009, 01:13:05 pm
http://notalwaysright.com/


(A customer in their 50s walks into my pawn shop, which sells weapons.)

Customer: “Yeah, can you get me that shotgun behind the table?”

Me: “Sure, do you have your license and registration?”

Customer: “Yeah, right here.”

Me: “Thank you sir. There’s a 5 day waiting period for firearms. Come back soon.”

(He looks disappointed, but forks over the cash and walks out. Five days later…)

Customer: “Okay, dude, I’m back. Where’s the gun?”

Me: “Right here, sir…

(I make the transaction and hand him his shotgun.)

Me: “Have a nice day and come back soon!”

(About one minute after the customer leaves the store, I hear several loud shotgun blasts. I look through the window and the man is firing rounds into the air! He then runs into the store.)

Customer: “The zombie invasion has begun! It’s every man for himself!”

(I hide under the desk and press the silent alarm. Five minutes later, the police arrive, taser the guy, and bring him out of our back room in cuffs. I work at an ice cream store now.)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on October 28, 2009, 07:58:55 pm
From Fallout 2, playing with a low intelligence character:

Bishop's guard: What d'you want, hon? Make it quick.
Chosen One: Me want world peace.
Bishop's guard: Boy, you are one stupid bitch, aren'tcha? Look, get outta here before we beat the rest of your brains outta you.
Chosen One: ME WANT WORLD PEACE ME WANT WORLD PEACE!
Bishop's guard: Bitch, you just earned yourself a ticket to a world of hurt.
Chosen One: [Chosen One] only want to be left ALONE but WORLD hurt [Chosen One] so [Chosen One] SMASH PUNY HUMANS!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on October 28, 2009, 09:29:46 pm
XD YES


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 29, 2009, 12:18:07 am
http://www.lauren-mccarthy.com/happinesshat/
Quote from: weirdguy
I can't believe that somebody would actually invent that happiness hat. It sounds like something that the Joker would use on Batman.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on October 29, 2009, 12:37:50 am
LMAO!!  That is a funny hat...though I doubt I'll be purchasing one...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on October 29, 2009, 07:32:04 am
Ha, awesome.

(http://www.lauren-mccarthy.com/happinesshat/hat_web0.jpg)

She doesn't look happy in this photo. She looks like she's scared for her life and is being forced to smile by some psychotic nutjob with a machete.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: PwntheNoob17 on October 29, 2009, 07:33:51 am
It looks like a torture device.

SMILE Damn it!! Or we'll kill you! With a machete.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on October 29, 2009, 05:29:11 pm
In environment tech:

Rotter (Teacher): We can't go to the greenhouse anymore; they think there's a natural gas leak.
Kid behind me: Why's there even a gas line in there? That's gay.
Me: What, you've never heard of greenhouse gases?
Kid: .... but it's natural gas....


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on October 29, 2009, 05:47:37 pm
Item description of a Halloween drop I picked up in Anarchy Online.
Ceiling Leet
"Ceiling Leet is watching you cyb0r."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on October 29, 2009, 06:32:13 pm
"Flying banana's can't talk... They just want you to believe they can!"-Fallout 3

I lol'd when I found it in the game :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on November 01, 2009, 02:21:13 am
Friend: I went to Burger King dressed up as teh king and they gave me a discount on food
Me: Fuck yyyeess XDDD
Friend: yeah this halloween was awesome
Me: XD Just cause of the food?
Friend: I ate with the mask on and didn't say a word so I basically did sign language with the cashier until I got a double whopper. The guy was so embarrassed that he nearly charged me 80 dollars without thinking but his supervisor came out and gave me the discount and told the guy to honor the king. It was awesome


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on November 01, 2009, 02:34:59 am
That...is....EPIC!!!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on November 01, 2009, 01:30:59 pm
While play MUA2 Online me and some other person got to the fight With Giantman/Pym. Our team only had Spiderman(him) and Iceman(me) alive when part two started, and an AI Firestar came in to help with the boss fight.


Me: NO! Spiderman! Don't die on me man.
Him: Move it Iceman! Goddamn it Firestar, DO SOMETHING!
Me: Worst team up ever.
Him: Spiderman and his Amazing Friends never sucked so much.
Me: [laughs]


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 01, 2009, 02:12:13 pm
Omegle rocks.

Stranger: hot?
You: Oh yeah.
Stranger: m or f?
You: F
Stranger: good
Stranger: wanna get naughty?
You: That depends. A/s/l?
Stranger: m 22 canada
You: F, 19, London. And yeah, naughty sounds nice.
Stranger: lets be naughty then
You: I haven't done this before, so sorry if I'm crap.
Stranger: dnt worry..
You: Um... you lead.
Stranger: sorry had to go
Stranger: so wht r u wearing?
You: that's OK. I'm wearing heels and a little black dress. As for what's underneath, well... maybe you'll find out if you're lucky. ;)
Stranger: ohhh
Stranger: hot
Stranger: y dnt u sit on the bed
You: OK, hon. *I sit on the bed and smile seductively.
Stranger: something alraedy is getting hard in here
You: *I pat the bed next to me* Why don't you join me?
Stranger: ya sure...
Stranger: my hand running down ur back
You: *I lean closer to you. I'm a little nervous, but that feels good. I kiss you on the lips.*
Stranger: nice and wet
Stranger: i lean down on bed...
Stranger: get on me n undress me
You: *I can't believe i'm about to do this. My first time...*
You: *I kneel over you and bend down, my hands running up your chest*
You: *My mouth opens, displaying a vicious set of fangs. I snarl as I lunge at your neck, biting deep into the jugular. Oh, sweet blood!*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on November 01, 2009, 02:17:14 pm
Nice one, Cheez!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on November 01, 2009, 03:18:05 pm
"I KNOW MY SHIT ABOUT DUCT TAPE!!"

~the quotable me


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on November 01, 2009, 06:34:37 pm
Quote from: RedMage
Jesus is a zombie, and the Romans knew it; he was going to infect his followers through benevolent worship, so they hunted him down like an animal before he could do anything. The hell storm that came after that was a coincidence.

They failed to realize zombies can't die by simply being nailed to a cross and baked in the sun for days, thus they left zombie jesus in a cave to "die", but instead he came back for revenge.

On his way back to town, he met a velociraptor who was also banished by the Romans for its time paradoxical attributes. It too sought revenge, and they teamed up.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on November 04, 2009, 06:02:44 am
I lol'd, Cheez. XD

RB: Lord.  I have decided that if I ever have kids, none of this baby stuff.
RB: <.< I'm going to treat them like adults so that they won't grow up with any of this childhood trauma stuff.
RB: "Daddy, teacher says beer is bad!"
"Fuck your teacher!  Beer is what made your mother attractive enough to get you here, you ungrateful little bitch!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 04, 2009, 04:12:19 pm
Quote from: Syd Lexia
Every once in a while, a musician feels so passionate about a cause that he or she writes a song to raise money for said cause. Since these songs are written to raise money for charity, it makes it all the more pitiable when they turn out to be enormous piles of crap, such as USA For Africa's "We Are The World" or Artists Against Apartheid's "Sun City". But the worst charity-based song ever written is "Do They Know It's Christmas?", the hit single recorded by Band Aid. Whereas the previous examples were written in earnest, Bob Geldof's message is downright patronizing. Lyrics that inform us that "there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas" are intentionally corny, gleefully penned by a condescending British musician to dupe those he considers his intellectual inferiors into throwing money at his cause. Of course there won't be fucking snow in Africa this Christmas. If there was, it would be environmentally catastrophic; the plants and animals indigenous to Africa are ill-equipped to deal with freezing temperatures. Also, I serious fucking doubt that all those starving Ethiopian children have warm winter jackets. Not only that, but Geldof intentionally misleads the listener into believing Africa is a barren desert "where nothing ever grows" and "where the only river flowing is the bitter sting of tears", neither of which is particularly true. Geldof knew this, of course, but he figured that the average English-speaking adult living in 1984 didn't. He very well may have been correct, but that doesn't fucking excuse him for writing a melodramatic, intellectually dishonest song and getting a bunch of obnoxious British pop icons to sing on it. In fact, both Paul McCartney and George Michael sang on "Do They Know It's Christmas", along with Phil Collins, Sting, Boy George, Banarama, David Bowie, Duran Duran, U2 and a bunch of other people that no one remembers anymore. You know, if someone had blown the studio while they were recording that song, I don't think there's a single person whose death I would have mourned. Well, I'd definitely miss David Bowie because he kicks major fucking ass, except that he wasn't in the studio with everyone else; he was busy, so he mailed in his vocal tracks. Unfortunately, Sir McCartney did the same. Oh well, at least all those other people would be dead. Anyone have a time machine?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Waytouy on November 04, 2009, 05:27:41 pm
Our teacher at another student: (name withheld) what are you doing?
Vice principal of the damned school who was just passing in the hallway outside, leans into the room: Your mom!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Flying Teapot on November 05, 2009, 02:30:36 pm
No, you guys aren't CREEEEEEEPY.
Maybe McNinja
I'm waay creepier when drunk
A drunk McNinja is something one
should never experience, I reckon.
Well he's in ireland right?
OHOHOHO, and all Americans are grossly overweight, amirite?
No, i mean he's far away
but lol
oh,whoops.
omg lol
you're still fat :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on November 05, 2009, 02:57:03 pm
XD Hahah. I still say skinny is fail, unless it's natural.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on November 05, 2009, 09:11:58 pm
Quote
  _  ( ^ ^)
|  |     o  ~ ~ C===B
|  |     I
|  |     I
|  |___L==nn
| /____/ |  I I
|  |     | |   I I
|         |     L  L

this was in the Wall of Text...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on November 05, 2009, 10:08:04 pm
I was totally there! :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on November 05, 2009, 11:02:12 pm
That was a pretty funny progression of events, I'm gonna be on that plenty!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on November 06, 2009, 11:54:55 am
Gotta love Burt!
Burt Gummer: I am COMPLETELY out of ammo. That's never happened to me before.
Tremors 2


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on November 06, 2009, 02:04:58 pm
Gotta love Burt!
Burt Gummer: I am COMPLETELY out of ammo. That's never happened to me before.
Tremors 2
I love that scene, he's holding two desert eagles and the truck cab has nothing ejected shells in it while the rest of the truck is destroyed.
I own all the Tremors movies. First two were good, and that's it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on November 07, 2009, 05:54:15 pm
MLE: I can see everythiiing -stern look-
[TZH] McNinja: what colour are my shoes then?
MLE: You're not wearing shoes?
[TZH] McNinja: LIIIIIES
[TZH] McNinja: they're blue!
MLE: .__. Blue?
[TZH] McNinja: blue suede shoes
MLE: XD
[TZH] McNinja: Uh huh-huh
[TZH] McNinja: Ooooh~
[TZH] McNinja: Yeeeeeaaah~
MLE: x3


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on November 07, 2009, 06:42:32 pm
[TZH] McNinja: What would you do if I sang out of tune?
MLE: -stands up and walks out-
[TZH] McNinja: ;____;

--
And also:
My mom: i miss you too. i don't like it that u r so far away!
My cousin: i know... that part is hard.
My mom: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
-
I love my mother XD;


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on November 07, 2009, 07:23:13 pm
 Woahmasi:  okay
 Woahmasi:  i've got one last idea
 Woahmasi:  huh....
 BoomyStick: ...
 Woahmasi:  gimme a sex



yeah...it was pretty funny.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on November 07, 2009, 08:41:23 pm
After seeing Paranormal Activy:

Me: "I would have gotten in a car and driven away so many times in that movie. It would never have gotten as bad as it did with me.
My sister: "Fuck that! If I didn't drive away when that door moved on its own I would had people, specialists, in that house with me until it left.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on November 07, 2009, 09:28:16 pm
(22:07:06) Dominique: A work table doesn't need the same quality as a kitchen table. As sturdy, but the appearance doesn't matter.
(22:07:39) Cass': the sturdiness makes teh prize!
(22:08:04) Cass': steal one from an old workshop!
(22:08:47) Dominique: *steals it from YOUR FACE!!!*
(22:08:59) Cass': D:
(22:09:04) Cass': how?
(22:09:05) Cass': .....
(22:11:16) Dominique: Your face owns a restaurant chain, several estate properties in twelve countries, and a private zoo dedicated to ferrets. All of this behind your back, a very difficult position for a face!
(22:11:29) Cass': o_O
(22:11:44) Cass': damn......
(22:11:56) Cass': how can i get ahold of those things ma face owns?
(22:12:46) Dominique: ... ask nicely?
(22:13:42) Cass': how do i ask my own face?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 08, 2009, 05:57:30 pm
A YouTube comment on a Led Zeppelin song.

Led Zeppelin sux! They Ripped off material from Puff Daddy!Soulja Boy,Lil Wayne,Rhianna,Beyonce,Kanye,Se an Kingston,T Pain,Fifty Cent are all much more talented than this rubbish!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on November 08, 2009, 05:59:23 pm
The Youtube comment area is commonly known as the dumbest place on the Internet. Now you see why.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 08, 2009, 06:19:09 pm
Indeed. Even so, I refuse to believe that that was not sarcasm.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on November 08, 2009, 06:41:40 pm
Seeing as there's actual capital letters in there, I'm inclined to agree. The true idiots seems unable to figure out the shift key. Or just smack on CAPS and we know what that look like.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 08, 2009, 06:45:52 pm
KNOW WHAT WHAT LOOKS LIKE?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on November 08, 2009, 06:58:29 pm
lol u retard caps an't cool!!!111!!!!!!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on November 08, 2009, 07:41:29 pm
"Women prefer chocolate over sex!" - Dodom


...... <.<


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on November 08, 2009, 08:05:12 pm
MLE sappin' mah messenger! says:
 lmao
 do it
 do it
 doooo it
Hailfax says:
 I am
 I have
 >.>
MLE sappin' mah messenger! says:
 XD Good
 You are a prime example of what I want to be when I grow up


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on November 08, 2009, 09:14:44 pm
"I'm William Shatner, I can score anything."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on November 09, 2009, 11:15:06 am
"Women prefer chocolate over sex!" - Dodom


...... <.<

Really?  That must be why....


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 09, 2009, 11:49:11 am
Lies and possibly slander.


People, are, always have been, and always will be dicks. Drama is just another word for human interaction. -Joseph Kuster.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on November 09, 2009, 04:24:59 pm
Marlena: I'm gonna kill you.
Me: I'll kill you harder.
Marlena: I'll kill you faster.
Me: I'll kill you stronger.
Marlena: I'll kill you better.
Me: Not sure if win.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on November 09, 2009, 08:45:14 pm
Sister (upon noticing my dream log): ... No, I'm not going to be nosy.
Me: There aren't any sex dreams in there.
Sister: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF... fine, I will be nosy. Not the answer I wanted to hear, thanks.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 10, 2009, 01:15:09 am
Forum powers are KAHRAZY. I wish I had one. Alls I gets is the wood. I'm wooden.

Me quoting myself because I totally forgot that I typed that.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on November 10, 2009, 01:54:17 am
I wonder why...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on November 10, 2009, 07:30:11 am
It's still better than mine, I'm flammable, not allowed on the furniture and get instantly blamed for missing underwear and hidden cameras.

EDITSXORS

"Tough one. On one hand I'm tired of having an adult buy games I have to be 18+ for, but on the other hand It's not like I want little kids playing mature games  either.

There should be an age restriction on mikes though. Or they should all come with a feature that if your voice isn't past a certain pitch it wouldn't engage."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 10, 2009, 10:49:44 am
There should be an age restriction on mikes though. Or they should all come with a feature that if your voice isn't past a certain pitch it wouldn't engage."

Might be a problem there for teh wimminz.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on November 10, 2009, 10:59:15 am
Might be a problem there for teh wimminz.

My 11 year old cousin plays Halo and his voice over the mike is annoying as shit. I love the kids, hate that his parents buy him (and his 9 yr old and our other cousin) Mature games. I don't even have those, I'd only get the good ones. He buys the M labeled ones because in his/their minds an "adult" game is better. I hate this shit SO MUCH.



I had a quote from class but I forgot it... D:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 10, 2009, 11:22:19 am
Stranger: heeey
You: Yabba?
Stranger: dabba doo ?
You: MY ICING!
Stranger: MY CAKE
Stranger: keep it in your pants.
You: *Burns, dies*
You have disconnected.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Badger on November 11, 2009, 01:51:44 pm
"Women prefer chocolate over sex!" - Dodom
...... <.<

How about combining the two for a quick afternoon snack...?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on November 11, 2009, 05:38:09 pm
*Badger automatically gets all the chicks*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on November 11, 2009, 08:10:02 pm
Even the horridly obese ones with infections of multiple kinds?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on November 11, 2009, 08:13:18 pm
Yes, but he's not forced to do the same things with all of them. He can play Scrabble with the infectious one.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 12, 2009, 09:46:12 pm
I'm drunk, sleep-fucked and sugared, yet I can still spell my username right...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on November 13, 2009, 09:40:46 am
My 11 year old cousin plays Halo and his voice over the mike is annoying as shit. I love the kids, hate that his parents buy him (and his 9 yr old and our other cousin) Mature games. I don't even have those, I'd only get the good ones. He buys the M labeled ones because in his/their minds an "adult" game is better. I hate this shit SO MUCH.



I had a quote from class but I forgot it... D:

Ugh Thus is why I avoid using a mic, or just turn the thing completely off.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on November 13, 2009, 01:18:10 pm
Dad: What jobs is BJ's looking for?
Me: I dunno what jobs dey is lookin' foah.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on November 13, 2009, 11:58:44 pm
'This little piggy went to Hades
This little piggy stayed home
This little piggy ate raw and steaming human flesh
This little piggy violated virgins
And this little piggy clambered over a heap of dead bodies to get the top.'

- Good Omens by Terry Prachett and Neil Gaiman

One amazing book!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 15, 2009, 01:35:10 am
"I would drag my dick through a mile of glass just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie."

Youtube comment on some boring photo shoot thing that Ricky-oh linked me to.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 15, 2009, 03:20:42 pm
State your name, rank and intention."
"The Doctor. Doctor. Fun."

-From the latest Doctor Who.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 15, 2009, 09:39:23 pm
My girlfriend and I simultaneously: I'll meet you back here in a minute.
My girlfriend and I simultaneously: Woah!
My girlfriend and I simultaneously: Oh my god!
My girlfriend and I simultaneously: We need to get married!

Followed by uproarious laughter.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 15, 2009, 10:26:33 pm
Stranger: the impudence of some commoners nowadays...
You: Commoner?
You: How dare you?
You: I am lower middle class!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on November 15, 2009, 11:39:52 pm
Quote from: Dimmukane
Went for a little hike today, passed by a 4-year old girl who proclaimed "Grandma, can I see your penis?"


This was before I smoked the weed.

Quote from a friend of mine


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on November 15, 2009, 11:44:15 pm
Talking about Red Team Shenanigans:

MLE sappin' mah messenger! says:
 GIVE ME UR FLUIDS


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on November 15, 2009, 11:48:00 pm
"I'm going to go complain to the manager" -my boyfriend
"Why?" -me
"because my mintos is too minty!" - my boyfriend.

The funniest thing about this is my boyfriend was asleep at the time, and sleep talking :P
I was still awake. I had to try so hard not to burst out laughing!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on November 17, 2009, 08:35:06 pm
"I refuse your empirical facts!", or how to instantly shut up any science student. Also the reason and final proof that I do not belong in a science debate and should not, at any point, venture near one.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on November 17, 2009, 09:07:23 pm
My girlfriend and I simultaneously: I'll meet you back here in a minute.
My girlfriend and I simultaneously: Woah!
My girlfriend and I simultaneously: Oh my god!
My girlfriend and I simultaneously: We need to get married!

Followed by uproarious laughter.
Adorable, yet sitcom-creepy.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 17, 2009, 09:16:45 pm
Yeah, That uproarious laughter? Wasn't us. Came from the audience.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on November 17, 2009, 09:31:12 pm
Knew it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ransom.My.Heart on November 17, 2009, 10:56:50 pm
me: Saaaaam, I'm boooored. Come here.
Sam: I can't.
me: Pleeeeaase.
Sam: Honey, I can't.
me: Pretty please...wif a cherry on top!
Sam: Look when you figure out transportation, then I can come there....
me: the cherry has magical transportation properties....

--Hours Later--
me: Saaaam, can you come here now?!
Sam: No Tina.
me: But I gave you my cherry!!!
Sam: .....
me: x.x ....


Ah That's What She Said Moments....



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 17, 2009, 11:28:57 pm
X is not a full sentence.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on November 18, 2009, 01:46:16 am
Bruce Wayne: At first, I thought I was losing my mind. But then, I figured out someone tried to manipulate me.
Terry: How?
Bruce Wayne (with a sly smile): The voice in my head... It was calling me "Bruce".


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on November 18, 2009, 05:30:30 pm
"Question: Someone asks you to volunteer as help at a mental institution. What do you do?"

My answer: "Go and get used to it. You'll be in there some day."

From a quiz on Facebook.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on November 18, 2009, 05:44:02 pm
(18:46:14) Dominique: So it appears like googling "boomer rule 34" turns out to be necessary after all.
(18:46:27) Cass': D:
...
(18:47:28) Dominique: I found countless mentions, but no actual picture.
(18:47:34) Cass': >_<
(18:47:37) Dominique: Therefore rule 35 applies.
(18:47:49) Cass': >_<


I laid my pens and paper next to me on the couch. Don't let me get bored tonight.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on November 18, 2009, 10:53:24 pm
Who is Boomer?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on November 18, 2009, 10:54:50 pm
Left 4 Dead. The fat zombies that puke on you.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on November 18, 2009, 10:58:39 pm
That's....just wrong.  People!!  Keep Dodom entertained tonight!!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on November 19, 2009, 01:58:21 am
There are female boomers in L4D 2


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on November 19, 2009, 02:27:59 am
And they sound worse than the males. XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on November 19, 2009, 03:10:27 am
So the time is right, so tell me if you wanna?
You should change it if you're gonna...
But I don't really know how... I've already tried...
Involve.

I don't want to save my soul now
I don't want to lose control
And even if it takes a lifetime to learn
I'll learn.

Don't fall in line... if you're thinking that you're gonna...
You should maybe think about a reason in your own mind...
You've already gone!
Evolve.

I don't wanna save my soul now
I just wanna lose control!
And even if it takes a lifetime to learn
I'll learn... I'll learn...
We learn

Here's our defense... heroes left you to die.
You left me to die!

I don't wanna save my soul now
I don't wanna lose control
So even if it takes our lifetime to learn... I'll learn... I'll learn...
We all learn!

Supercrush!- The Devin Townsend Project


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 19, 2009, 02:13:26 pm
Me: Hey Jenny, Guess what.
*Some stuff*
Jenny: What, Log, What!? Don't leave me hanging!
Me: Chicken Butt.


AND THEN BAM, HAHA, ENSOULS. IN YOUR FACE.

Also,

*Victory dance*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on November 19, 2009, 04:18:55 pm
As I said in the chat, Log wins.

Also:

Tancillaro: "I have to change the water my beef is sitting in. I'll be back."

I laughed harder than I should have.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on November 19, 2009, 11:29:31 pm
Norm: Three Crawlers enter a bar, and walk to the counter.
Cath (crawler-halflife) : This better be good! D:<
Norm: heheh...Hmmm-hmm hmmm♪..............Lalalalalaaa♪
Cath: Is the punchline coming?
Norm: Patience!  They haven't made it to the counter yet!


Awesome crawler joke FTW.  Thanks Dodom.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 20, 2009, 06:26:02 pm
Elsa: "Hey, can I have an orgy and an orgasm?"

Everyone else: ...

BWAHAHAHAHA!

She was actually talking about spells in Shadowrun, but... yeah.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on November 20, 2009, 10:22:13 pm
To understand this a little better. (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/?cid=001.jpg)
Quote from: perrybob
Quote from: DimJim
Hella Jeff waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were stairs in the house. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Sweet Bro were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Jeff was a cool guy for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the big games and he said to dad "I want to go to your moms house daddy."
Dad said "No! You will FALL DOWN STAIRS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the house of your mom he knew there were stairs.
"This is Bro" the radio crackered. "You must be careful for stairs!"
So Jeff gotted all his games and walked away
"HE GOING TO PLAY US" said the games
"I will make him fall" said the stairs and he was in the hall. Jeff walked at him and tried to go down. But then the games blocked his view and he were unable to see.
"FUCK IM FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS" he shouted
The radio said "I TOLD YOU MAN"
And then it kept happening.
This is as good as it gets.

NO JEFF
YOU ARE THE STAIRS
Edit:
Quote from: Aduross
Reminds me of an idea for a t-shirt I had once. It would have been a simple dark t-shirt that said in white block letters: THIS SHIRT IS IRONIC. The irony being that there was in fact nothing ironic about the shirt at all.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on November 21, 2009, 11:24:35 am
Me: Hey Jenny, Guess what.
*Some stuff*
Jenny: What, Log, What!? Don't leave me hanging!
Me: Chicken Butt.


AND THEN BAM, HAHA, ENSOULS. IN YOUR FACE.

Also,

*Victory dance*
DAMMIT LOG.
If I was there, I could have stopped you. ;_;


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on November 22, 2009, 01:14:44 pm
Fantastic Foursome (http://seananmcguire.com/songbook.php?id=155)

Yes, it's a song text. That's somewhat explicit. Somewhat.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on November 22, 2009, 08:29:14 pm
William says:
holy crap there's nothing to do at 0240 in the morning
Ensouls says:
I was going to tell you to use your imagination
and then I remembered who I was talking to


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 23, 2009, 01:32:16 pm
"April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain."
-American sports legend, Charles Barkley

I fucking lol'd.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on November 23, 2009, 03:42:12 pm
"April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain."
-American sports legend, Charles Barkley

I fucking lol'd.
Finally reading Homestuck, I see.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 23, 2009, 08:30:52 pm
Don't you get sassy!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on November 24, 2009, 06:40:38 am
I admit that when going through a medical physical to join the military you must at one point pull your pants and underwear down, bend over, and spread you cheeks for a doctor to inspect your rectum visually.

I also admit that when I went through this, I was particularly afraid of being anally violated...why?  My inspector's name was Dr. Shivertaker.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on November 25, 2009, 05:49:34 am
I am glad to make the quotes board :)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on November 25, 2009, 12:30:12 pm
I love Sarah Palin, jsut her grin and her badass attitude. Damn, she fuckin hunts Caribous on helicopters!
-My friend Matt


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on November 25, 2009, 05:31:46 pm
"Accidental cannibalism."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lidg on November 26, 2009, 10:21:03 pm
“He made me laugh so hard I ran into the door and broke my nose”
-Lastplacecomics.com


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on November 27, 2009, 06:43:49 am
"It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I don't trust the people you work for either."
-Captain Titus Flynt of The King's Own Privateers Aeronauts Dvision.
From the novel I'm  working on. *plug plug*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on November 27, 2009, 10:25:24 am
Marlena: How do you parkour, anyways?
Me: It's really half getting away from something really fast, and looking slightly badass.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on November 28, 2009, 06:57:01 pm
(http://imgkk.com/i/BEmD5T.png)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on November 28, 2009, 09:37:41 pm
XD Win.

And, I would like to thank Hail for this--I'll just link it, since it's an article. (http://chud.com/articles/articles/21684/1/THE-DEVIN039S-ADVOCATE-WHY-BREAKING-DAWN-MUST-BE-MADE-INTO-A-MOVIE/Page1.html)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on November 28, 2009, 11:33:20 pm
And, I would like to thank Hail for this--I'll just link it, since it's an article. (http://chud.com/articles/articles/21684/1/THE-DEVIN039S-ADVOCATE-WHY-BREAKING-DAWN-MUST-BE-MADE-INTO-A-MOVIE/Page1.html)

Quote
"The baby has telepathy...and it turns out to have an essentially adult mind. Like Alia in Dune; I would accuse Stephenie Meyer of ripping this off, but anyone who thinks that Meyer might have read Frank Herbert has never been within spitting distance of Twilight. The woman is a moron."

"Jacob the werewolf... sees the new baby girl and immediately imprints on her. What this means, in layman's terms, is that he falls in love with the baby.

I want to pull this out on its own: Jacob falls in love with a baby."

Fucking total win.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 29, 2009, 12:13:19 am
Bloody awesome. check out the Superman think it links too, too.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on November 29, 2009, 12:49:28 am
Yeah, I remember Greg talking about that. Unrelated:

"Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in memory as the wish to forget it."
   -Montaigne


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on November 29, 2009, 05:39:24 am
A ton of remorse has never made an ounce of difference.
-Anon of Ibid.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 29, 2009, 05:43:50 am
"Power is relative. Its cousin is Ego."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on November 30, 2009, 05:22:21 pm
Some things are worth dying for
And baby that ain't me
I'm sorry that you couldn't escape
This curse of me

Bonus points for who can say what this is from.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on November 30, 2009, 07:28:41 pm
I'll slap you so fucking hard it'll be like you kissed a freight train.
- Five Finger Death Punch.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on November 30, 2009, 08:17:28 pm
Quote
#  And in fact have in the wild in at least one place (alerting whalers to whales in exchange for some choice bits of the carcasses)
# Which says something interesting, doesn't it? Thanks to their apparent affection for us, and us returning it, Orcas have no natural predators. None. Barring a sudden human interest in killing them for whatever reason, Orcas are the highest species on the food chain that doesn't have nuclear capability.
From TVTropes "Killer Bunny" page.

*Is not going swimming for a while.*

EDIT:
Quote
The inventor of the lobotomy was given a Nobel Prize for it in 1949. Doctors claimed the "ice-pick-to-the- freaking-eye" method of lobotomy would be as quick and easy as a trip to the dentist. By 1960, parents were getting them for their moody teenage children.

This practice didn't hang around as long as some on our list, but still some 70,000 people were lobotomized before somebody figured out that driving a spike into the brain probably was not the answer to all of life's problems.
Cracked.com


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on December 01, 2009, 11:37:12 am
Roomie: Oh cool, we've got some Monster in the fridge!
Me: No, I've got some Monster in the fridge.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on December 01, 2009, 06:13:02 pm
Horror Theory coming to a close and the kids in my class (there's 12 of us) are wondering what to do:

Classmate 1: So yeah, after class on Wednesday, what're we doing?
Classmate 2: I'm gonna go ahead and say we're getting...what do the young kids say these days...crunk? We're getting crunk.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on December 01, 2009, 09:04:05 pm
Harold Crick: Miss Pascal, what you're describing is anarchy. Are you an anarchist?
Ana Pascal: You mean, am I a member of...
Harold Crick: An anarchist group, yes.
Ana Pascal: Anarchists have a group?
Harold Crick: I believe so, sure.
Ana Pascal: They assemble?
Harold Crick: I don't know.
Ana Pascal: Wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose?



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on December 01, 2009, 09:15:28 pm
My friend(Chris): Mike hates everything. He says we're stupid because we play on an inferior video game console (XBOX 360). Oh, and he said that Street Fighter is as much as a sport as hockey and swimming because it's a competition of skill.

Me(Mark): okay, so he HAS to die


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on December 01, 2009, 09:16:43 pm
Me: The Mormon church did donate money to anti-gay legislation.
Girl: No they didn't
Girl's Friend: You're ignorant.

wat


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on December 01, 2009, 11:57:55 pm
Intern(?): Hey, Klaus.  Why in your country do the cities Hamburg and Frankfurt have nothing to do with Hamburgers or Hot Dogs?
Janitor (Klaus): Why is your lake Titicaca not filled with boobs, and poop?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 02, 2009, 04:12:35 pm
Why would a werewolf fall in love with a baby?

A new version of Pedobear, I presume.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 03, 2009, 12:29:42 pm
"There's not much difference between furry porn and ordinary hentai if you exclude the fact that they have fur."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on December 03, 2009, 12:39:36 pm
@Cheez: *Sobs*

@McNinja: And tails, and animal-like heads. XD That won't stop me though.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 03, 2009, 02:10:46 pm
JRM says (8:21 PM):
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CHURCHILL
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CHURCHILL
CHURCHILL IN A HALF-SHELL, PRIME MINISTER POWER!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on December 03, 2009, 02:40:01 pm
JRM says (8:21 PM):
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CHURCHILL
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CHURCHILL
CHURCHILL IN A HALF-SHELL, PRIME MINISTER POWER!

XD

Thank you so much!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on December 04, 2009, 10:20:11 pm
Some English Class

BELLA: ilu bb

EDWARD: So while we're on the subject of Romeo and Juliet where everyone can hear us, I've been contemplating suicide lately. You know, some ironic but thematically appropriate means involving characters you're just now hearing about for the first time, should the plot necessitate it. I'm thinking... death by sparkle at high noon.

BELLA: I SAID, ILU BB

SOME ENGLISH TEACHER: Mr. Cullen! Please recite a thematically appropriate passage for us, so that the fangirls in the audience can record it on their phones and play it on repeat every night before they go to sleep.

EDWARD: *sigh*

SOME ENGLISH TEACHER: A bit louder, Mr. Cullen! Some of them will want to use it as a ringtone.

From here. (http://community.livejournal.com/m15m/21825.html#cutid1)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 04, 2009, 11:05:01 pm
Quote from: HellaBro
Jade needs to get her ringed hands on [a control deck]. I've tried to combine a whole bunch of board games before, it turned into calvinball, the home edition. How would that not be an awesome inventory?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on December 05, 2009, 12:00:14 am
Hail that whole thing is hilarious!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on December 05, 2009, 07:03:45 am
Vaccine time!

Nurse: Are you right-handed?
Dodom: No.
N: Hmkay so you're right-handed.
D: No.
N: Well sit there please, I'll do the injection in your right arm.
D: That's my left.
N: Huh... That's to my right, so... huh... ?
D: *doesn't insist because the nurse looks confused enough already*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on December 05, 2009, 07:06:39 am
I...wouldn't visit that nurse ever again, Dodom. Did she poke you with the needle 40 times before actually making it into the vein? Cause I wouldn't doubt it. Oh man. XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on December 05, 2009, 11:28:52 am
Nah, fortunately it's injected into muscle, that's an easier target. It hurt more than usual vaccines though, maybe she managed to do it wrong somehow :p
Meh, I wasn't too worried, bad spacial orientation doesn't mean one is automatically an incompetent.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on December 05, 2009, 03:29:32 pm
*Shudders* Usually I could care less about needles, but if the person seems even the least bit off I get nervous. XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on December 05, 2009, 10:34:23 pm
The "Prestige" in 15 minutes:

ANGIER: YOU SON OF A BITCH!

BORDEN: Look, I'm really sorry...

[Clearly unwelcome, Borden starts to shuffle away.]

ANGIER: WOLVERINE COULD TOTALLY KICK BATMAN'S ASS.

BORDEN: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

[And thus, a rivalry is born.]


Rest here (http://community.livejournal.com/m15m/14491.html#cutid1)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on December 05, 2009, 10:59:27 pm
2012 in Fifteen Minutes

DR. INDIAN GUY: Solar flares! Physical reactions! FERAL NEUTRINOS!
DR. CHIWETEL EJIOFOR: No--it can't be! You can't mean--
DR. INDIAN GUY: YES. We are in--A DISASTER MOVIE. Look at these calculations!

(The Day After Tomorrow - teen romance) x (Independence Day - aliens) x (Deep Impact - Elijah Wood)
x (Earthquake + Dante's Peak + Poseidon) = Waterworld

DR. CHIWETEL EJIOFOR: The Poseidon Adventure, or the bad remake?
DR. INDIAN GUY: The bad one.
DR. CHIWETEL EJIOFOR: MY GOD.

Here's the rest. (http://community.livejournal.com/m15m/21598.html)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 08, 2009, 10:33:20 am
    Bloodninja : Wanna cyber?
    MommyMelissa : Sure, you into vegetables?
    Bloodninja : What like gardening an shit?
    MommyMelissa : Yeah, something like that.
    Bloodninja : Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
    Bloodninja : You bend over to harvest your radishes.
    (pause)
    MommyMelissa : is that it?
    Bloodninja : You water your tomato patch.
    Bloodninja : Are you ready for my fresh produce?
    MommyMelissa : I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
    (pause)
    Bloodninja : I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
    Bloodninja : I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
    MommyMelissa : Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
    Bloodninja : my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
    Bloodninja : Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
    MommyMelissa : ...
    Bloodninja : My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower :of love.
    MommyMelissa : What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
    Bloodninja : Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
    MommyMelissa : whatever.

    Bloodninja : Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli13 : thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    Bloodninja : A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli13 : haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli13 : i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    Bloodninja : I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli13 : haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli13 : i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    Bloodninja : Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli13 : No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    Bloodninja : Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
    j_gurli13 : stop, cmon be serious.
    Bloodninja : It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
    Bloodninja : I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli13 : thats it.
    Bloodninja : Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see :as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    Bloodninja : Fuck am I hard now.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 08, 2009, 12:14:27 pm
At least I'm not telling you not to swear :3


Quote from: Facebook
Aaron (this is Log) was told that he looks like a "Faggot Rapist" today after refusing to buy a couple girls cigarettes. On top of that, Most of the places in Flat Rock seem to be suffering from an application shortage.

Aaron
Oh yeah, and I was semi-threatened. Since when does bobbing your head at someone and putting back your hands make you scary?

Douglas (Some guy he knows)
I lol'd.

Aaron
I swear to god, next time I go out, I'm bringing a fucking gun. To shoot everyone.

Aaron
Everyone.

Douglas
Everyone?

Aaron
Is it weird that I saw that question coming?

*Some in joke about a dog goes here*

William (me)
"Faggot rapist", eh? ;3

Aaron
Oh no. Get out of here, McNinja.

Adam (Red Beret)
So... does that mean you rape bundles of sticks?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 08, 2009, 12:43:10 pm
Quote from: Andrew Hussie
Wait guys I'm on this.

(http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scraps2/lalonde_x_bro.gif)

Wow what the fuck am I doing.

I'm going to sleep.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on December 08, 2009, 02:45:40 pm
that's a really good start of a drawing...


Editz: (because I love you Boom)

"Quick, tell us a popular french saying!"

"I give up!"

"hahahahhaahha!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 08, 2009, 02:49:23 pm
If you still aren't reading Homestuck, he drew a crack slash pairing of his own work.

Ninja'd: Gasp doublepost.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on December 08, 2009, 03:35:57 pm
MLE sappin' mah messenger! says:
 http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/LicensedGear/EverythingElse/Serenity-Tee-244205.jsp
Read the description
 Ugh
Hailfax says:
 Is it going to anger me?
 It's going to anger me.
 It angered me.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: SharpArcher01 on December 08, 2009, 03:40:39 pm
   
    Bloodninja : Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli13 : thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    Bloodninja : A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli13 : haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli13 : i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    Bloodninja : I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli13 : haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli13 : i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    Bloodninja : Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli13 : No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    Bloodninja : Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
    j_gurli13 : stop, cmon be serious.
    Bloodninja : It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
    Bloodninja : I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli13 : thats it.
    Bloodninja : Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see :as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    Bloodninja : Fuck am I hard now.

Dude, not cool. You made me laugh out loud in class. I wil get you for this. I swear this.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on December 08, 2009, 04:11:37 pm
MLE sappin' mah messenger! says:
 http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/LicensedGear/EverythingElse/Serenity-Tee-244205.jsp
Read the description
 Ugh
Hailfax says:
 Is it going to anger me?
 It's going to anger me.
 It angered me.


Hardcore nerd raging right now.... With some possible crying in the corner as well.

@ SharpArcher: Bloodninja is a well known cybering troll, it's your own fault.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 09, 2009, 12:56:48 pm
(http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/6732/forbiddenfruit.png) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emy0ZUQiuzQ)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on December 09, 2009, 01:31:46 pm
"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 09, 2009, 02:21:45 pm
Context:
Quote from: carcinoGeneticist
Quote from: Jormungandr
CG isn't that bad unless Jade is involved, who, for metanarrative reasons, he is forced to hate with the fury of a thousand suns.

Which is nice, and makes him not gimmicky like these new people. But it also means he's doing a terrible job as a troll....

THAT ISN'T METANARRATIVE. I ACTUALLY DO HATE JADE WITH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND SUNS.
Actual quote:
Quote from: LegoTechnic
Suns do not have fury, as they are not emotive.  That aside, why does everyone assume the sun's merciless cascade of heat is synonymous with anger when it could just as easily be loving us too hard?

Maybe those thousand suns are just hot under the collar for us, eh?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 09, 2009, 03:22:58 pm
Your Viking Name is...
Koko the Orang-outan

Your Viking Personality: Koko smart! Koko click on button! Koko even type on typing-place! Koko still Orang-outan, though, and Vikings no let Orang-outan play. Maybe if Koko come back in next life as human, Koko can play Viking game.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Waytouy on December 10, 2009, 08:53:51 am
(From an oblivion fanart on DA)
10/14/2007: Yay, over 200 favs! Long live Oblivion fanbase! :D
09/01/2008: 700 favs. DUDE
12/20/2008: 900 favs. WHERE DO YOU COME FROM, YOU CRAZY PEOPLE


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 10, 2009, 11:23:13 am
Quote from: TheBlackWaltz
Quote from: RedMage
Quote from: TheBlackWaltz
I'm imagining a legendarily difficult combination of buttons to use Sepulchritude.

Also, it takes your life down to 1.
(http://img2.imageshack.us/img2/2374/ultimatecombo.gif)

Exactly like that, only the piano is the entire universe.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on December 11, 2009, 01:37:40 am
In 1983, with their chart-topping songs and the grassroots support of their loyal fanbase, four young men from Galveston, Texas became the most popular band in America. That band was Love Supply, they sucked, and on a fateful day in 1983, their opening act, the Midnight Riders, beat them so bad onstage that we became instantly famous.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 11, 2009, 08:43:14 am
"shes 23 virgin,that my boy is what we cal a stage 5 clinnger if i have sexwith her she gonna be ultimate clinngy to me and i dont want that"

    -My cousin Bill.


I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm impressed. I'm not. I'm a little disgusted at both his attitude towards women and his atrocious spelling and grammar.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 11, 2009, 11:46:43 am
Your cousin sounds like a dick.

Quote from: ddsn
Quote from: foxcastle96 posted:
I always fancied myself a blue wolf... That turns into a werewolf at night!

I don't JUST suck blood, you know... ;)
What you suck?

edit:
oh dicks okay


Quote from: "Rise of the Reds" mod for C&C: Zero Hour's license agreement
All content contained inside this package is owned by SWR Productions, EA Games and partners from SWR who contributed to this project.

For use of any material within this package contact the SWR Leader (The Hunter - Hunter649[at]Gmail.com).
Should you be caught using any material without permission from the SWR Team or it's leaders then your balls will be cut off with a table spoon.



Quote from: Seb McMeb
Basic question, would you trade your soul to be your fursona?  Question all furries should face, and depending on how you answer, I might be able to tell how vulnerable to getting trolled you are.

I wouldn't, since I don't believe souls exist anyways and it'd be a bitch to explain to people after they beat me for being a giant fucking walking animal, and since I genuinely don't actually have a fursona anyways, but lets say souls do exist, would you?
Quote from: Smirnoff Joe
Without the soul, a body cannot operate. The mind requires a soul to anchor it to the body, and thus be able to operate it, so even if I did trade my soul to become my fursona, it'd only be a corpse. I'd trade some of the energies that the soul generates, surely, but it'd be impossible to trade your soul for something. The closest thing possible to trading a soul is trading your alleigance, which is basically what the metaphor of selling your soul is.

In other words, I wouldn't, due to it being virtually impossible. Even if I could trade my alleigance, it'd all depend on whom my alleigance was traded to.

Besides, angel wings aren't necessarily a fursona anyway. That's all I want: angel wings that I can fly with.
Quote from: Nerts
That. It'd freak the fuck out of whoever finds my body.
Quote from: WhitePride
you'd be dead, you'd be doing no freaking of any kind
Quote from: Seb McMeb
Yes you would.

A giant red anthro goat dragon with 6 giant penis's dead in your house and your son missing mysteriously?

That wouldn't flip you right the fuck out? What drugs have you been taking sonny?

I would be skidding on the god damn floor if I saw that, the shit stains would be permanently infused with my carpet, hell, under it even and it'd be this giant brown stripe in the middle of no where on my floor.

[editline]03:21AM[/editline]

No, I'd crap my intestines out and die on the spot, blood spewing out of my asshole long after my death if I saw that.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 11, 2009, 07:38:28 pm
Quote from: Texts From Last Night (732)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on December 11, 2009, 10:29:37 pm
Ted: You were like the worst student ever weren't you?
Barney: they told me I had AD...something. Can we have class outside!?

From How I Met Your Mother


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on December 12, 2009, 12:33:58 am
Cute girl: I like the white sticky stuff.(she was talking about glue)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on December 12, 2009, 07:52:17 pm
Internet person: I've always wanted to meet a doppelganger and ask them what life is like being a copy, and if it's anything like being in Airborne.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 12, 2009, 10:43:05 pm
My girlfriend and I were just watching the Spike VGA awards, and Stevie Wonder came on. This is what followed.

"I bet he's got notes on the inside of his glasses."

Thankfully, she's not actually that stupid and was just joking.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on December 13, 2009, 12:26:27 am
Homer: Then came the greatest thrill of my life.
George: Hello Homer, I'm George Harrison.
Homer: Oh my god. OH MY GOD! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BROWNIE?
George: Over there, there's a big pile of 'em.
Homer: [gleeful noises, eats brownies] Oh man...
George: Well, what a nice fellow.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 13, 2009, 11:10:57 am
"I'm the wizard of wang, call me Gandalf the Gay"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 14, 2009, 12:34:51 am
Yeah, I'm just going to link to it, starting here (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=511985#p511985) and ending here (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=512377#p512377). For the moment.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Silver on December 14, 2009, 01:48:57 am
"<...>This time in the form of wandering bards.  And I swear those motherfuckers have learned to hunt in packs."
-Yahtzee Croshaw


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 14, 2009, 01:40:30 pm
George Harrison.

Who's that supposed to be anyway?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on December 14, 2009, 01:47:31 pm
Who's that supposed to be anyway?

George Harrison (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beatles)

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept. - Bill Watterson


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on December 14, 2009, 02:45:14 pm
Quote
(21:41:42) (shadow): *would really like to tear something apart right about now*
(21:41:54) (Havoc): Heh.
(21:42:11) (Grammer): *Hands Shadow a piece of paper.*
(21:42:45) (shadow): paper does not produce the effect of blood all over the place
(21:43:06) (Grammer): *Hands shadow a used tampon.*
(21:43:13) (Grammer): *Burns a pair of rubber gloves.*
(21:43:28) (shadow): eeewwww
(21:43:39) (shadow): I do NOT want to know where that came from

Tampon jokes, FUCK YEAH!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on December 15, 2009, 08:17:42 am
(http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/Stantheplumber/writinontheforum2.jpg)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 15, 2009, 08:49:18 am
George Harrison (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beatles)

Oh, right. I don't even know the individual members of the bands I like, let alone the Beatles. Ta very much, Hail.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 15, 2009, 09:12:41 am
Because Stan's avatar reminded me.

"Uhh, I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to? Do you have any idea, any idea, who I am? Basicly, kind of a big deal. Ok, you listenin'? Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, I hurt people, I'ma force a' nature, if you were from were I was from, you'd be freakin' dead! WHOOO!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Silver on December 15, 2009, 11:09:43 am
Because Stan's avatar reminded me.

"Uhh, I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to? Do you have any idea, any idea, who I am? Basicly, kind of a big deal. Ok, you listenin'? Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, I hurt people, I'ma force a' nature, if you were from were I was from, you'd be freakin' dead! WHOOO!"

"What're you?  The president of his fan club?"

"No.  That would be your mother!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 15, 2009, 03:56:29 pm
Saxton Hale says (9:55 PM):
Any excuse to punch things
BatAlex says (9:55 PM):
You're saxton hale
Do you need an excuse?
Saxton Hale says (9:55 PM):
No, just an alibi


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on December 15, 2009, 07:43:04 pm
You are being shagged by a rare parrot (http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=009_1254329808). No context needed. I need a .GIF of the start of the...shagging. It's pretty damn funny.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on December 16, 2009, 12:57:28 am
lol.  that was awesome


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on December 16, 2009, 01:02:47 am
You are being shagged by a rare parrot (http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=009_1254329808). No context needed. I need a .GIF of the start of the...shagging. It's pretty damn funny.

Oh wow, that was amazing.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on December 16, 2009, 02:21:00 am
(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8885/emotparrot.gif)

The parrot army hungers for flesh. Also British photographers to shag.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 16, 2009, 02:28:22 am
Quote
Bike riding can lead to lesbianism, homosexuality, body painting and white slavery.

Yeah.

This person is insane. (http://shelleytherepublican.com)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on December 16, 2009, 02:34:20 am
Quote
Transvestite Elephants Will Destroy America!

First thing I saw, I don't need anymore.

edit: never mind, she calls obama obongo


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 16, 2009, 06:35:18 am
Gotta be a joke site. In other news, WHY IS THAT PARROT NOT A PERMANENT SMILEY!?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on December 16, 2009, 07:34:28 am
ABADU- AR- JI- WHY?

Parrots dot' dooooo that!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 16, 2009, 09:24:57 am
Quote from: Crvens
Restraint is something for other people!

Edit: Spoiler x2 Combo!
Quote from: Pinary
I'm sorry, but all I can picture is Hass and Jade sledding, and it is incredibly silly.
Quote from: Regenesus
That just gave me an image of Jade sledding downhill on top of Hass's body.
Quote from: LegoTechnic
Holding onto his mustache as if they were handlebars...

WHAT MADNESS HAVE YOU INSPIRED?!
Quote from: Jaydeis
IDE/THEORY: Grandpa's nickname was once "Rosebud".


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 16, 2009, 03:18:26 pm
"4:20pm, drink tea everyday."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: PatchyMan on December 16, 2009, 04:54:06 pm
"Proper trigger control, correct technique, under pressure; that's gun control right there."

"That one looks like Rob Zombie."
"Heh."
"Zombie."

 ;) I think you know where that last one's from.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on December 16, 2009, 05:59:53 pm
Quote from: Harry
That looks more like ROFCASRTAMYDHSWD.
That's an acronym for rolling on the floor crying at the sudden realisation that all my youthful dreams have slowly withered and died.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 16, 2009, 06:29:50 pm
Al-Qaeda is kind of like team rocket, only instead of pokemon they use actual rockets.


And they don't fuck up every single time, sadly.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 17, 2009, 05:47:41 pm
I'm not sure I've ever been sure about anything ever.

    -Me.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Waytouy on December 17, 2009, 11:56:00 pm
'One of my friends got bored, and looked at as many differnet games as he could find to try and form the ultimate genre. This is his story'

'Friend phones at 7:00 AM.'
Me: Wshfghg?
Friend: TACTICAL COMBAT HENTAI.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 18, 2009, 12:31:49 am
TACTICAL COMBAT HENTAI.
Close enough? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utawarerumono)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 18, 2009, 06:41:26 am
"The 18th century was a time of rapid innovation; in the space of a single year, the two-storey building, the stage play, America, and the rocket launcher were all invented by the same man: Shakespearicles, the strongest writer who ever lived. Despite his powerful grasp of language and the ability to bench press 700 British pounds, several inventions eluded his iron grip—most tragically among them, stairs. For the next three hundred years, people who needed to get to the second floor used the only method available to them: shooting a rocket launcher at their feet. Yes, it was ridiculous, crippling, and awful, but what are you going to do? Not go to the second floor? That’s where your bed is.

Luckily, in 1857, a young bearded inventor named President Abraham Lincoln stumbled upon the answer: stairs. Unluckily, he never grasped the full import of his own invention, and died attempting to rocket jump up the world’s first staircase in his laboratory at Ford’s Theater. Horrified by this tragedy, mankind agreed never to invent anything again, turning its many scientists and scholars to that most noble endeavor, astrology.

It would not be until 1921 when hotheaded Pisces Franklin D Roosevelt, languishing in a hospital after losing both of his legs in a rocket-jumping accident, stumbled upon Lincoln’s notes and perfected the modern staircase, freeing people from the tyranny of the second floor as Lincoln intended.

No advancement has been made in the escalation sciences since… until now. Introducing the Gunboats, secondary-slot boots that reduce rocket jump damage by a huge amount, rendering stairs forever useless. What is the science behind these miracles of technology? Magic, probably.

In conclusion, why are you still reading this? These things are live, in the game, right now. Go go go!"

                   -Valve


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on December 18, 2009, 08:08:35 am
I laughed too hard when i saw that.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 18, 2009, 08:12:38 am
What... what game is that in?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on December 18, 2009, 08:14:09 am
Team fortress


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 18, 2009, 11:36:30 am
"Reynolds felt lost at the big school, and started hanging out with greasers and skipping school. He also began showing off with dangerous stunts, such as diving off the top of a raised drawbridge, and jumping from an airboat onto the back of a running deer."


From Burt Reynolds' Wikipedia Article. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bert_Reynolds)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 18, 2009, 11:54:37 am
There are two looks on women that most guys find the most appealing. Wait. There are three. The first is all dolled up, dressed to the nines, three hour make-up, knockout perfume, looks that kill. Otherwise known as the Bar Huntress look. Second is warm and fuzzy, literally just rolled out of bed, hair everywhere, no make-up, dressed in a T-shirt. This is the Real Woman, or I Can See Your Nipples look.

The third and last look is anything in between the first two.

 E of DIT-

If I had a Higgs Boson I’d use it to make a nude code on my TV so I’d always see Jessica Alba naked no matter what she was wearing.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 18, 2009, 02:42:11 pm
Quote from: Zuki
'Romantic' fanart thread is where we shove everything that might possibly make people go, 'Man, you guys are weird.' Sexy character art of people without defined genders, crack shipping, gratuitious blushing....all shoved here in one lovely ghetto of sparkles and holiday cheer.

I love it so.
This is a perfect description.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on December 18, 2009, 04:54:16 pm
"You'll find that most people are not trustworthy. And never let anyone take naked pictures of you."

My mother gives the best advice.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on December 18, 2009, 05:06:02 pm
Yeti.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on December 18, 2009, 08:38:53 pm
"Fuck!"
When delivered just right.

"All you need is love!"
"And some lube."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on December 18, 2009, 10:23:50 pm
"Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist."
-Indiana Jones


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 19, 2009, 01:12:02 pm
"This is the kind of gun they used to put planes on. It wasn't a case of 'Oh, we got this jet fighter, it kinda needs something besides missiles and bombs and shit, let's strap this thing on'. NO. It was a case of a guy making a gun SO awesome, that he just stepped back, and said, "This shit needs to fly'. And everyone else is like, 'You cant make a gun fly!'. And the first guy is all like, 'Fuck you, yes I can. I will strap a plane to this gun.' And everyone's like, 'You mean strap the gun to a plane?' And the first guy is like, 'No, man. I am strapping the plane to the gun. The plane is an accessory.' And then everyone's minds were blown. Like, there was some serious mind blowing going on there. Ears were bleeding. Synapses just went an committed suicide because it was so awesome."
—Smith, BOrangeFury's Fallout Let's Play, describing the GAU-8 Avenger (http://www.flightglobal.com/airspace/media/militaryaviation1946-2006cutaways/images/11492/fairchild-a10-thunderbolt-ii-cutaway.jpg)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on December 19, 2009, 09:28:13 pm
"You're supposed to take care of her, not douche it up."

- Dean talking about his car.
Supernatural.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on December 19, 2009, 10:12:25 pm
Supernatural FTW! *high-fives Hail*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Boomstick on December 20, 2009, 02:06:27 am
"Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML"

FML is awesome...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on December 20, 2009, 03:31:00 am
Not a very nice boyfriend.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 21, 2009, 01:38:58 am
So, someone is actually making a game with all the aspects of Homestuck. This is one of the character designs submitted to them.
Quote from: Anomaly
This any good?

(http://img338.imageshack.us/img338/3436/htc.png)

Probably needs some cleaning up.
Quote from: Dentrala
Thicken the hair strands a little, and move the eyes farther apart (although I realize the eyes is due to the hair). I think it'd be best to get a whole bunch of samples to choose from.
Quote from: Gankro

(http://www.timelesschaos.com/transferFiles/173goodCall.png)

Good call.
Quote from: Dentrala
Thanks, that looks perfect now. (http://www.thezombiehunters.com/forum/Themes/default/images/post/thumbup.gif)
Quote from: Gankro
I fixed some things that were bugging me a bit with my design.

(http://www.timelesschaos.com/transferFiles/174better.png)
Quote from: Gankro
(http://www.timelesschaos.com/transferFiles/177doIWin.gif)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 21, 2009, 08:11:59 am
Must... resist... Down's syndrome joke...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 21, 2009, 07:57:25 pm
Same thread.
(http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/7139/larynewman.png)
Quote from: RedMage
Quote from: Ditto
Quote from: Warriorccc0
Maybe he should have a SNAKE on his shirt, a certain kind of SNAKE that lives in lets say, TUNNELS.

Quote from: Marelo
And maybe his TOOTHPICK should be a SWITCHBLADE.
(http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/3043/larybadass.png)
that's not a snake, thats a cardboard box.  (http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r259/phoenixdude7/Emoticons/mspa_face.gif)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on December 21, 2009, 11:10:42 pm
XD I lol'd.

Also...TUNNEL SNAKES RULE! *Pushes Ralion out of a 12-story window*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 22, 2009, 12:14:51 am
:humpingparrot:
*Can fly.*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on December 22, 2009, 07:52:04 am
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-Voltaire


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on December 22, 2009, 04:53:39 pm
"Hey, did you know there's a video called Christmas in Summer? And that it stars a girl named Summer? And that "Christmas" is her dog?"-Cracked


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on December 22, 2009, 11:25:22 pm
"DOUBLE-YOU TEE EFF! AT LEAST THAY COULD HELP A BROTHURR OUT."

~ My father while we were christmas shopping, him not going to malls all that frequently, was perplexed that the back end of the mall changed since last year, and one more thing, my father? White as I am.

(Black people dont take any offence, but just stand astonished at the epicness of this fail.)
 
...*facepalm*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on December 23, 2009, 04:45:36 am
"Some people should just be shot." - My mother, criticizing others' choice of clothing in the mall


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 23, 2009, 04:48:56 am
Your mum scares me from what I've heard of her.


I wasn't paying attention to this conversation, yet still came out with a witty reply.

"...Yeah Home Alone was a awesome movie, hey, what's your favorite christmas movie?"
"Die Hard."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on December 23, 2009, 09:41:12 am
From a blog about The first Player to ever achieve or successfully complete world of warcraft.


"Some nitpicky WoW f*ckheads are trying to downplay Little Gray's accomplishment, claiming he received one event-tied achievement (B.B King) due to a glitch, and did not win it fairly. You know what, though? Who the Hell cares? He's done more than any human being ever reasonably should, so let's not quibble over one little point.

He's a WoW player. He will probably achieve nothing else in life. Let the man have this."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: gabriel7384 on December 23, 2009, 02:13:50 pm
"I will not tell you that I told it but I told it."
 -Me

"That, it's done."
 -Everyone in the Sqn.

"Clear for start 2 ?" (pilot)
 "Yeah for sure, light up this candle & come to life !"
 -Me


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on December 23, 2009, 02:39:42 pm
Some kid in my neighborhood came up to me to try and sell me weed.
Kid: 'Hey, do you want to buy some weed? I've got-'
Me: 'HIT THE BRICKS, NIGGA;  I DON'T NEED YO BITCH-ASS WEED' *shove*

A LOT of people came out of their houses to see what all the yelling was about. It was great.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on December 23, 2009, 04:03:27 pm
Some kid in my neighborhood came up to me to try and sell me weed.
Kid: 'Hey, do you want to buy some weed? I've got-'
Me: 'HIT THE BRICKS, NIGGA;  I DON'T NEED YO BITCH-ASS WEED' *shove*

A LOT of people came out of their houses to see what all the yelling was about. It was great.

LOL Why can I imagine you saying this... and you don't even sound ghetto in my mind lol.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 23, 2009, 05:31:01 pm
"I'll rip your tongue off, lick my asshole with it, then sew it back on so you'll have to taste it."


"lol Nigga, you want some swee' tea?"
"Dont say the N word my people take offence"
"That makes sense, they take everything else."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on December 23, 2009, 06:48:51 pm
Wow.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on December 23, 2009, 08:59:23 pm
"I'll rip your tongue off, lick my asshole with it, then sew it back on so you'll have to taste it."


"lol Nigga, you want some swee' tea?"
"Dont say the N word my people take offence"
"That makes sense, they take everything else."

Indeed.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 24, 2009, 05:15:46 am
Flamewars make for good quoting.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 24, 2009, 03:06:32 pm
From QDB (http://bash.org/?904301) which I totally forgot about until just now.
Quote
<massacre> Rosti, can I ask you something as a close friend?
<Rosti_LFC> you could ask me something as a complete stranger, but go ahead
<massacre> Do you reckon Emma would go out with me if I asked her?
<Rosti_LFC> errr....
<Rosti_LFC> ask her yourself?
<massacre> no fucking way until I get a second opinion
<Daz> dude she's in the channel
<massacre> no she isn't
<Rosti_LFC> yeah she is mate, look up
<Rosti_LFC> she got op'd yesterday
<massacre> fuck
<massacre> PLAN B
<massacre> spam the channel
<massacre> with text
<massacre> so it goes
<Audia> hi
<massacre> off her scrollback
<Rosti_LFC> ahaha
<massacre> FUCK
* massacre has quit (PLAN C!!!)
<Audia> I'm going to go install Windows 7 right now
<Audia> so I'll be offline for a bit
<Audia> if he gets the balls to come back in here in the meantime tell him the answer is yes
<Rosti_LFC> rofl
* Audia has quit (QUIT)
<Rosti_LFC> that was some hardcore nerd courtship ritual right there
<Daz> Oh man, I wish I could fuck up asking a girl out that badly and still succeed

Edit: (http://bash.org/?904758)
Quote
<RetardedMonkey> How would you pronounce this child's name?
<RetardedMonkey> She spells her name..... "Le-a"
<RetardedMonkey> This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA..
<RetardedMonkey> Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
<RetardedMonkey> She says it's pronounced.................
<RetardedMonkey> "Ledasha"
<RetardedMonkey> When the Mother was asked how in the world did she figured it should be pronounced that way....... she said....
<RetardedMonkey> ..."cause the dash don't be silent!"
<RetardedMonkey> English language is gone forever
(http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r259/phoenixdude7/Emoticons/Rose_Facepalm.gif)

Edit2:
Quote from: Andrew
I probably won't be posting any new updates for a couple days on account of the glorious birthing of some guy near barn animals. So now you know Whom to send the angry letters. But before you do take into account that He fixed it up so you aren't all totally screwed when you die.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on December 25, 2009, 03:52:42 am
From Supernatural:
Dean (talking to his car): I'm sorry baby. I'll never leave you again.

Dean: Damn cops.
Sam: They were just doing their job.
Dean: No, they were doing our job, only they don't know it so they suck at it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 25, 2009, 03:37:15 pm
"My girl needs a jaw operation, one side is shorter/longer than the other, and that makes it hard for her to open her mouth wide... and she needs braces...
Yah, think about how I feel.
And it's too dry, and too... toothy. But I manage! And she manages.. I don't know how... but she can...
and she likes strawberry condoms... She wanted to try one, So I got one, and we used it. She liked it. XD"

"Strawberry condoms don't taste like strawberries, but they do taste nice."

"How do you know?"

"Word of mouth."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Flying Teapot on December 25, 2009, 04:05:45 pm
This is what happened at our party with visiting friends yesterday....
-while watching Inglourious Basterds-
Friend: "Oh Shelby! Are you testing your boyfriend~?"
Landa: "OOOOOooooo~! That's a bingo!"
Me: .....o-o


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on December 25, 2009, 04:38:43 pm
i bet i'd laugh if i watched that movie huh?....


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 25, 2009, 10:38:50 pm
Quote from: http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2009/12/24/20091224christmas-prank-ON.html
A Chicago man could be unwrapping the hundreds of Christmas gifts spread around his apartment for days, even weeks.

Trouble is, they aren't really presents. They're his own belongings meticulously wrapped by friends as a prank while he was out of town.

Louie Saunders' packages contain everything from couch cushions to the beer in his refrigerator.

His friend Adal Rifai masterminded the scheme after Saunders gave him a spare key. It took 16 people, 35 rolls of wrapping paper and eight hours to finish the job.

Saunders tells the Chicago Sun-Times he's only been able to unwrap about 10 percent of the packages.

He jokes that the upside is that, with each package he unwraps, he finds something inside that's just what he needs.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Flying Teapot on December 26, 2009, 01:47:38 am
That is wonderful. I would love my friends if they did that.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: SharpArcher01 on December 27, 2009, 12:57:16 am
"Got a feelin '21 is gonna be a good year. 'Specially if you and me see it in together. I've got no reason to be over-optimistic, but somehow when you smile I can brave bad weather." -Pete Townshend: "1921"

I tell you, the whole "Tommy" album is a quote goldmine.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on December 27, 2009, 10:40:09 am
My sister's baby was screaming his lungs out at 2 AM, like he does every night.

Me: Why don't we try conditioning him? When he wakes up at night, we scare the crap out of him. Pavlov says he'll either stop waking up, or be fearless!'
Liz: No, that's not going to happen.
Me: Why don't we just drug him?
Liz: I hope you never have kids.
Me: Me too.

Later on:
Me: Better idea! We put an oxygen tent around his crib, and pump in oxygen with a small percentage of nitrous oxide!
Liz: STAY AWAY FROM MY CHILD *Shoves me out the door*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Kraven on December 27, 2009, 12:19:15 pm
Me: I'M GOING TO GET A TURKEY BASTER STUCK IN MY ASS!

One of my "prouder" moments in life. >.>


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Novacain on December 27, 2009, 01:06:44 pm
At the christmas family dinner table.

Me: "I have a perfectly good reason for bringing piano wire up to Mount Everest." Pretty much said it loud enough that everyone looked at me >.>


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on December 28, 2009, 02:50:34 pm
Quote from: snalin
Zingoleb just had a Anal Prolapse surgery

On this other forum I post on Chuck Norris is word filter'd into anal prolapse.

He just had Chuck Norris surgery.  :humpingparrot:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 28, 2009, 03:06:55 pm
"Accident is the mother of invention."

From a fortune cookie.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on December 28, 2009, 03:50:51 pm
Henriksen: I...I shot the sheriff
Dean: But you didn't shoot the deputy.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on December 28, 2009, 04:56:11 pm
"Wait...So we get to be right next to a rock concert, and fight zombies at the same time? THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"

"Man, this is like the... fourth time the Midnight Riders saved my skin?"

"Did I ever tell you about the time Keith and I made Fireworks? I mean, I didn't know shit about chemistry, but Keith figured Gasoline Burns, right?"

~Ellis from Left 4 Dead 2.

This is why i love vidya games.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on December 28, 2009, 05:20:51 pm
anarchostaliniste@hotmail.com sagt (00:17):
 No, I didn't bring turkey home.
 Turkey is a large country that doesn't fit in my purse


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on December 29, 2009, 05:04:11 pm
GameStop Preview on Final Fantasy 13

Quote
By: A Customer     Date: Friday, Dec 18, 2009
Did anyone else read the street date guarantee? it says not responsible for a chocobo mailman shortage.

lol


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on December 29, 2009, 07:04:20 pm
Quote from: Sie-Sveinhund
I just snorted something so strong that my nose started bleeding.
Quote from: Zero-Point
You're supposed to DRINK Coke. :downs:
Quote from: DiscoInferno
...Sherbert?
Quote from: dvsilverwing
Ketamine, am I right?
Quote from: Sie-Sveinhund
Quote from: DiscoInferno
...Sherbert?
Chopped onions.
Quote from: Nerts
The fuck did you do that for?
Quote from: Sie-Sveinhund
I don't know anymore, man.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on December 29, 2009, 08:34:52 pm
SCREEN CAP'D!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 30, 2009, 07:45:55 pm
Adam says:
 But generally, you'll find sniper rifles are spring-action or gas action, because despite their downfalls, gas generally provides a more powerful shot.
 And springers are good for patient people.
 Haha
Nihtgenga says:
 Patience? Bah. I'm typically WW1 with my tactics- Full frontal!
 *cough*nudity*cough*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on December 31, 2009, 05:44:12 am
RB: Speaking of unfortunate
RB: Have you seen the new "Booty Pop" undergarments?
Me: Wtf, Booty Pop? Er...apparently not XD
RB: I thought I was watching MADTV until I realized there was no laugh track
RB: Basically, they're like padded Bras, only they make your butt look like it sticks out six more inches instead of your boobs.
Me: ..........
Me: *Sigh*
Me: I swear. I'm moving to fucking Mars. It's fucking happening. There's no hope left
RB: XD
RB: Please let me know when you're leaving so I can pack and be at the launch site.  Carpooling is less expensive. XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on December 31, 2009, 11:07:46 am
"...they cross the Great Uncanny Valley like Romans crossing the Rubicon..."
-the Bad Webcomics Wiki


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on December 31, 2009, 03:37:34 pm
Quote from: Ralion
I'm going to say nothing significant.
Taken out of context.

Quote from: Texts From Last Night (415)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on January 01, 2010, 05:56:59 am
Quote from: Envark
Quote from: Kory
Quote from: Envark
        To be the very best
        Like no-one ever was

    To catch them is my real test.
    To train them is my causee.

Women are NOT pets to be caught and trained.

hurr


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on January 01, 2010, 11:32:48 pm
Homestuck.

Quote

-- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AT: hEYYY,
AT: fIRST, oK, i THINK YOU'RE AWFUL,
AT: lET'S PUT THAT FACT ON THE TABLE WHERE WE CAN BOTH SEE IT,
AT: nOW YOU HAVE BEEN PRIMED FOR THE DIGESTIVE RUINATION THAT'S ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE, aND THE COMPREHENSIVE SOILING OF THE LAUNDRY ENVELOPING YOUR PERSON,
TG: oh my god you type like a tool
AT: yEAHHH,
AT: nOW YOU'RE GETTING IT, wHAT YOU ARE IN FOR,
AT: aRE YOU READY TO BE TROLLLLLED,
AT: wITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR MISERABLE HUMAN CORTEX,
TG: this is so weak im almost getting tired of wasting good material on you guys
TG: its like
TG: youve got nothing
TG: its always one of you sprouting up and ranting about how hard im about to get trolled
TG: with no ensuing substance
TG: you dont even know anything about us
TG: one of you fuckers thought i was a girl
AT: oK, yEAH, bUT,
AT: tHE THING IS, tHAT i DON'T CARE,
AT: aBOUT YOUR ANATOMICAL DETAILS, aND THINGS LIKE THAT,
AT: i KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE,
AT: oR WILL DO, aCTUALLY,
AT: iT'S THE MOST AWFUL THING, tHE WORST YOU CAN EVER DO,
TG: sorry i wouldnt cyber with you dude
TG: in the future or whatever
AT: wHAT, wAIT,
AT: oH,
AT: oK, yOU'RE THE ONE WHO LIKES TO SUBMIT INNUENDO,
TG: human innuendo
AT: yES, hUMAN iNNUENDO,
AT: sORRY FOR THE LACK OF CLARITY,
TG: so at what point in the future am i supposed to look forward to you whipping up this titanic hankerin for my knob
AT: uH,
TG: be honest with me
TG: cause im busy
TG: and i want to know exactly when i got to clear some space in my calendar for when some fuckwit blunders out of a magical phone booth and makes a ballad-inspiring play for my throbbing beef truncheon
AT: sHOULD i BE PERTURBED BY THESE ALLUSIONS,
TG: no man
TG: look
TG: i just need to know when to be there
TG: when the stars come into alignment and your flux capacitor lets you finally sate your meteoric greed for crotch-dachshund
TG: i wouldnt want to miss it and cause a paradox or something
TG: itd suck if the universe blew up on account of you missing your window of opportunity to help yourself to a pubescent boy's naked spam porpoise
AT: uHHH,
AT: oK, THIS IS SORT OF STARTING TO UPSET ME,
TG: jesus you are such a shitty troll
AT: i GUESS i'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE,
AT: aND FIND ANOTHER POINT IN TIME TO BOTHER YOU,
AT: wHEN, i GUESS,
AT: yOU ARE MORE EMOTIONALLY SUSCEPTIBLE, aND DON'T HAVE ALL THESE BEES IN YOUR BONNET,
AT: aBOUT YOUR HUMAN SEXUALITY,
TG: oh no
TG: no dude
TG: you sassed me up
TG: we are in THE SHIT now
TG: together
TG: for the long haul
AT: i,
AT: wHAT,
TG: we're motherfuckin entrenched in this bitch
TG: you and me
TG: welcome to nam
TG: now grab my hand and shimmy your soggy ass off that muddy bank before charlie gets the fuckin drop
AT: uHHH, wHO,
AT: wHO'S CHARLIE,
TG: hes the guy whos gonna read our vows
TG: im feeling pretty friggin MATRIMONIAL all a sudden
TG: take a look down by your foot see that little bottle
TG: stomp on that shit like its on fire
TG: noisy ethnic dudes are flipping the fuck out and waving us around on chairs til someone gets hurt
TG: im your 300 pound matronly freight-train
TG: and my gaping furnace is hungry for coal so get goddamn shoveling
AT: oH MY GOD,
TG: bro look in my eyes
TG: that twinkle
TG: that be DEVOTION you herniated pro wrestlers sweaty purple taint
TG: sparklin like a visit from your fairy fuckin godmother
TG: shit be PURE AND TRUE
TG: thats what you see
TG: a kaleidoscopic supernova of all your hopes and dreams all swishin together
TG: radially effevescing arms of more little boy peckers than you can imagine
TG: turning out insane corkscrew haymakers of a billion dancing vienna sausages strong
TG: this is how we do this
TG: this shits more real than kraft mayo

-- adiosToreador [AT] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] --


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: SharpArcher01 on January 02, 2010, 12:42:56 am
while trawling /tg/ I came across this gem:

(on Chairman Kaga of Iron Chef fame)

Quote
"I once saw Kaga blind a man just by smiling at him. Then he bit into a pepper and the dude's face melted right off.

Kaga just looked at him, and BAM. The guy's remains turned into a magnificent twelve-course feast. Complete with lightly seasoned appetizers, a wine-and-cheese display, refreshing fruit for between courses, all on incredibly ornate serving-platters.

AND HE WAS DELICIOUS."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on January 02, 2010, 02:53:33 am
Quote from: Marelo
Miracle Whip is so bad that once I had the glory of Hellman's in my mouth, I vomited up all the Miracle Whip I have ever eaten in my life, the laws of thermodynamics be damned.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 03, 2010, 04:13:58 pm
Too much MW2 plus Omegle results in this.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
You: m/f
Stranger: hi
Stranger: f
You: m
You: name?
Stranger: mmmmmmm, asl?
Stranger: elisha
You: Ramirez
Stranger: STAR
You: TEXAS
Stranger: WHERES THE REST OF YOUR UNIT?
You: WHISKEY HOTEL
Stranger: OKAY, WE'RE OSCAR MIKE MEN, RAMIEREZ TAKE POINT


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 03, 2010, 05:17:32 pm
No way.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 04, 2010, 10:24:42 am
Not mine, off another fourm.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on January 05, 2010, 04:15:10 pm
My mom was sitting and watching Lost, during her lunch break:

Me: "Remember to go back into work."

Mom: "Oh, okay. I'm looking at the clock."

Me: "Or are you?"

Mom: *Laugh of denial*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on January 05, 2010, 10:12:28 pm
I am intensely chivalrous, and, if you date me, you are required to respond to my chivalry as a LADY. You are the GIRL. Chivalry is about you allowing me to HONOR the girl in you. This means you let ME walk on the street side of the sidewalk, and you let ME open all doors for you (including when you are exiting from my car). It means you let ME decide where I would like to take you (e.g. what restaurant, what concert, what hotel, etc.), and when I tell you where I would like to take you, you tell me your FEELINGS with the understanding that if I sense that you are uncomfortable or disappointed with my offer, then I will change it because my goal is to make you HAPPY. It means that when I offer you flowers and gifts, you accept them graciously.... you should have empty vases in your home. It means that you let ME pay for everything on our dates, even if you have a lot more money than I do. It means if we are at a restaurant and I am hungry and you are busy talking, that when our food finally arrives you realize that YOU must take the first bite, and by ignoring your food as you keep yacking away you are making me starve!

 :humpingparrot:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on January 06, 2010, 12:26:11 am
My girlfriend's response to seeing her face blocked by the time on my phone's wallpaper:
'CLOCK BLOCKED!'

Have I mentioned she's a keeper?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on January 06, 2010, 02:57:36 am
Hey, remember this? (http://www.thezombiehunters.com/forum/index.php?topic=22.msg27111#msg27111) Well...
Quote from: Andrew
Julep-fueled passion.

(http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scraps2/sassacrexcal.gif)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on January 06, 2010, 11:40:49 am
DDD:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 06, 2010, 12:31:12 pm
"Every time we get a yard ahead, Ryan moves the goal line to the other side of the field!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sarge on January 06, 2010, 03:13:09 pm
Female AIMer: Heya.
Male AIMer: Heya baby.
F: I
F: L
F: O
F: V
F: E
F: Y
M: C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!
F: ....
F: Why do you always do that?

Actual AIM conversation.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 08, 2010, 12:46:20 pm
"I am I need of the company of more that 4 intelegent people in my life at one time."

Facebook statuses FTWL.

"Anyone who fights us is either stupid or on Saren's payroll. Killing the latter is business, killing the former is a favor to the universe."
 -Urdnot Wrex.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 10, 2010, 10:00:29 am
Wrex is awesome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 10, 2010, 05:53:51 pm
"i did some awful things to this guy out in six
hit him so hard he got a moon
and still 700k metal, and 350k crystal debris field"

Something my friend sent to my brother. I have no idea what it means, but "hit him so hard he got a moon" makes me laugh.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 10, 2010, 06:37:59 pm
"In corrupt science, you twist and turn the evidence so it fits into your theory. In real science, you twist and turn your theory so it fits into the evidence"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on January 11, 2010, 08:27:03 am
From the guard captain in Denirum in Dragon Age after I beat the hell out of some mercenaries:
"And people actually voluntarily attack you? Are they all stupid?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 11, 2010, 08:30:58 am
Tech Support: "Hmm, sounds like your system froze up."
Customer: "I don't know why. It's about 80 degrees in here!"



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on January 11, 2010, 12:27:21 pm
Ugh. It looks like a crappy lingerie mannequin filled with aliens.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 11, 2010, 08:36:23 pm
(http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f103/Losmosquitos/CarrierPidgeon.jpg)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on January 11, 2010, 08:49:45 pm
"I need some roofies for my wife so I can game at night."-my teacher. Came outta fucking nowhere.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 12, 2010, 01:45:22 am
"We are legion. the time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom."

  -Sovereign.

Most badass spaceship evar.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zog on January 12, 2010, 02:33:59 pm
"Come ...let us go. Let us leave this festering hellhole. Let us do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all."
-Dirk Gently ("Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency", Douglas Adams)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on January 12, 2010, 08:05:09 pm
I believe that was my senior quote. xD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on January 12, 2010, 08:06:56 pm
That stupid Boyscout commercial came on while I'm using the Mac in my parent's room
Dad: 'Oh, I forgot my purse up there!' That was the point of the scam, now get in the hole, lady!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on January 12, 2010, 08:18:33 pm
"I'm the pubic enemy, serial killer or Bic razors, petty bourgeois who shave, I want my women hairy!"
- The kind of songs you hear if you randomly tune in to the community channel in early afternoon.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sarge on January 12, 2010, 09:16:17 pm
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me,
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you o-ra-lize,
When I'm between your thighs,
You blow me awaaay.

-Monty Python.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zog on January 12, 2010, 09:53:05 pm
I believe that was my senior quote. xD

I'm sure you can find it in your heart to forgive Douglas Adams for the plagiarism.
 :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on January 12, 2010, 10:14:53 pm
"I was gonna ask ***** Out today... *sigh*"

~A sulky Waytouy


"Wait till tomorrow, bro todays been kinda sucky."
~Stan

"Yeah... why are you so happy all the time? You never think about what others think of you, you act completely retarded and nobody can take you seriously, yet you're always so goddam chipper! WHY?"
~a pestered Waytouy

"First off, fuck you, second, fuck those people, and third- :D *pride in my voice*
I DON'T TALK TO :( girls! SILENCE"

~Stan

This moment of epic fail and imminent depression brought to you by Stan.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on January 12, 2010, 10:20:05 pm
"Zack and I just went to the drug store and bought rubber gloves and Vaseline. Make of that what you will."

For the record, I REFUSED to stand in the checkout line with him.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on January 12, 2010, 11:55:27 pm
"I was gonna ask ***** Out today... *sigh*"

~A sulky Waytouy


"Wait till tomorrow, bro todays been kinda sucky."
~Stan

"Yeah... why are you so happy all the time? You never think about what others think of you, you act completely retarded and nobody can take you seriously, yet you're always so goddam chipper! WHY?"
~a pestered Waytouy

"First off, fuck you, second, fuck those people, and third- :D *pride in my voice*
I DON'T TALK TO :( girls! SILENCE"

~Stan

This moment of epic fail and imminent depression brought to you by Stan.

*offers condolences*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on January 13, 2010, 01:11:40 pm
"I AAM YULAW!... I'm Nobody Bitch... YOU!... ARE MINE!... I don't need to know you... You... Only need to know me."
-Yulaw (The One)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on January 13, 2010, 05:25:59 pm
Demon: You have killed many of my warriors.
War: I have yet to see a warrior.

I *heart* War ;D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 13, 2010, 06:29:52 pm
That's really the only good line I've seen him deliver so far. Granted, I'm not that far, but still.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on January 13, 2010, 07:48:06 pm
That's pretty much the only line he's delivered so far...
And I'm deep in Tiamat's castle.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 13, 2010, 07:51:54 pm
I just finished the second temple, and he still pretty much only communicates in grunts and threats. Completely unreasonable and pointless threats, mind you.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on January 13, 2010, 08:00:41 pm
War, he threatens like a girl :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 13, 2010, 08:01:22 pm
I kid you not, at one point, someone gives him a present, and he then threatens to kill them with it FOR NO REASON.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Grammer on January 13, 2010, 08:03:50 pm
Real charmer >.<

I look forward to seeing that.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on January 14, 2010, 11:48:23 pm

I simply ask, how can one answer a question, with an answer that is acceptable if the question it self is morally wrong? T.T
So in contradiction... Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
-Sherlock Holmes.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on January 15, 2010, 05:04:39 pm
I'd type this up, but his delivery makes it. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPoWOw8Jm5w&feature=player_embedded)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on January 15, 2010, 06:06:43 pm
That was possibly better than Jon Stewart's response (http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-january-14-2010/haiti-earthquake-reactions).


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 15, 2010, 06:27:46 pm
I'd type this up, but his delivery makes it. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPoWOw8Jm5w&feature=player_embedded)
(http://imgkk.com/i/HSk6Ul.gif)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on January 16, 2010, 04:46:15 pm
Looking at Black Metal, I think we see a rather spoiled group of rich kids hailing from the richest and most spoiled nations on earth fucked up on methamphetamines and alcohol. Their creative nihilism is the contemporary of all of the angry, bitter and alienated music created - rightly - by youths in modern societies. The validity of the art in BM has little to do with "genius", in that genius, by definition, is something that one is born with.
-Wolves in the Throne Room


XD The elitists now hate them.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Raryn on January 16, 2010, 10:41:07 pm
"I seem to have lost track of this speech, I'm not sure where it is going, but I know where it started and that's what I want you to remember. Has anyone seen my hat?"

~Skulduggery Pleasant


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Flying Teapot on January 18, 2010, 12:14:21 am
Friend: There's a black hole where your heart should be. There's love in there...somewhere...but it's a mirage.
Me: That's horribly depressing, but for some reason it makes me giddy.
Friend: Enough said. We still love you though.
Me: Okay...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 18, 2010, 10:03:27 pm
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey asl?
You: 15 f WHISKEY HOTEL
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on January 20, 2010, 12:28:34 am
Quote from: H-Viruz
There's no Straight and Homo.
It's all shades of gay.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 20, 2010, 03:46:56 am
"Hey, I just realised, everything is describable. If you can't describe it, you describe it as undescribable, but that's a description."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Waytouy on January 20, 2010, 10:23:44 am
From me, yesterday:

Sorry if I can't remember your name. It doesn't mean I forgot you, I'm just bad with names.
And faces.
And Science,
And socializing,
And running,
And art,
And writing,
And life in general.
 :slowpoke:
...But not cookies.
I'm good with cookies.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 21, 2010, 11:01:33 am
"It's My Birthday Tomorrow! If anyone wants to guess my age.. The first digit is half the second and I am under 30. :D"

"I knew it, 12!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on January 21, 2010, 01:43:36 pm
A letter from the opinion page of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:



Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

EDIT-

Quote
She looks like a hooker.
EDIT- actually, no. Hookers tend to wear less revealing clothes...

-Me posting a comment, having been linked to this (http://www.life.com/image/95843691) image. (Warning, not nudity but kind of.)

EDIT 2- Thought less, typed more.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 21, 2010, 02:05:50 pm
After spending a good ten minutes in a group in WoW.

Menethellas(Me): So... How bout them Cowboys.
Dragosani: Fuck em
Erinandrews: They suck
Menethellas: D=>


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 22, 2010, 04:53:34 pm
William says (10:52 PM):
 to be honest I don't know where you'd get it on a dick
 *DISK


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on January 22, 2010, 08:34:12 pm
Sullivan says:
 Dude. Hello! Perrybob from the forums.
 I just wanted to say that I saw you on e621 commenting on a completely random picture. My mind is blown.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on January 23, 2010, 01:32:09 am
So this is the famous Scotland Yard, eh?


- Help!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 23, 2010, 07:49:45 am
"Isn't it awful the way everything female gets instantly photo-chopped on that interweb thingamy? It's all the fault of whoever came up with that blasted Rule 34! Whose idea was that? Now all those poor teenage lads have to work, day and night, making sure that nothing escapes! It's a rum go and no mistake!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on January 23, 2010, 01:50:30 pm
Roommate's mom (after seeing my Yellow Submarine background): Sarra, you like the Beatles?
 Me: uh....yes?
 Roommate's mom: You're a little young to like the Beatles
 Me: You are never too young to like the Beatles


Alex's response:

Alex says:
 your roomates mom is an idiot
Hailfax says:
 lol
Alex says:
 too young to liker the fucking beatles
 my asss
 you're to stupid to be alive!
 take that roomatesmom!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 23, 2010, 03:38:15 pm
9:32 PM - McNinja/Nerts/UUMD [TZH][FP]: just try it, might work
9:35 PM - Lord Fedora: Holy fucking shit.
9:35 PM - Lord Fedora: No, that did not work.
9:35 PM - Lord Fedora: It made everything worse.
9:35 PM - McNinja/Nerts/UUMD [TZH][FP]: god damn it
9:36 PM - Lord Fedora: Now my computer's stuck at huge fucking resolution.
9:36 PM - Lord Fedora: Because it crashed the game and didn't switch out of it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on January 23, 2010, 04:00:38 pm
Hailmommy says (2:58 PM):
 Me: PAUL, ALEX AND I DEMAND THE 27 MINUTE VERSION OF HELTER SKELTER
 Paul: But I -
 Me: GIIIIIIIIIIVE
Hailmommy says (2:59 PM):
 Paul: -gives-
 Me&you: :BBBB
 You: Peekture-
 Paul: -rolls eyes- FINE. THEN GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 24, 2010, 03:27:03 pm
Alucard says (9:23 PM):
 Now I want poptars
 Fuck you
 Poptarts*
William says (9:23 PM):
 *noms* :3
Alucard says (9:24 PM):
 Y'know what? Fuck you, I'm gonna take my money, go to the store, and buy myself some poptarts and a 2-litre bottle of Dr. Pepper
 Good day to you, sir
Alucard appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on January 24, 2010, 05:47:22 pm
SomethingAwful goons on Left 4 Dead:

I'll give a brief synopsis,

We're 4 immune survivors of a zombie apocalypse trying to make it to the "safe zone", an apparent area that the remaining immune and military have managed to hold up and fortify from the infected threat. At the start we come across Louis and Francis, who fresh off their honeymoon immediately become a warring couple, leading Francis to threaten to turn straight and repopulate the earth with Zoey. Louis on the other hand, threatens to turn Bill gay, but it has little effect on Francis, so throughout the different campaigns we are watching Louis discover his love for Francis again, while Francis in turn learns that he can't live without his chocolate pudding. Near the end, they do end up making up and becoming an almost unstoppable force for love leaving Bill and Zoey behind with the military, while they discover the only cure for the infected is pure homosexual love. Everything up in the game leads up to this, so keep on the look out for subtle hints and dialogue between the two, the finales finale is certainly epic when you've only got two men literally joined at the hip fighting off an invasion force from China on one side and zombies on the other, all while confessing what we know is the truth, they love each other.

And cars that are flashing set off alarms that attract the horde if you shoot or touch them


- Blister, Let's Play, L4D (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3241456&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on January 25, 2010, 09:01:51 am
From http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MGnCp3gbkk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MGnCp3gbkk)

Comment:
Basicaa=lly am i right in saying if you dont go to war with a country you dont knwo where that country is??? Possibly. And dya knwo what the funniest thing was. ne american on xbox live asked me if liverpool was a state of england. WOW. 'I thinkg you might wanna have a geography class..'

Reply:
I find it hilarious that someone calling others stupid has such poor spelling that I would be surprised if they had more intelligence than a turnip.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 26, 2010, 08:19:04 am
The Glory Hole is calling to us... like how flys are attracted to light.  :humpingparrot:

"All we could come up with is this: If you have a surplus of money and a deficit of common sense, the PSP Go is for you!"
      --Gameinformer, agreeing with me on the PSP Go.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 26, 2010, 01:58:38 pm
(http://imgkk.com/i/tz8xj-.png)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 26, 2010, 11:44:15 pm
Quote from:  Ensouls
I love red hair
it is non-skanky

Because she told me to.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on January 26, 2010, 11:47:03 pm
Well. There you have it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 27, 2010, 12:58:09 pm
Quote from: T-Minus10
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a email with the phrase 'Regards' again.



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on January 27, 2010, 01:06:21 pm
I dun' get it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 27, 2010, 01:11:29 pm
Swap the G in Regards with a T.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on January 27, 2010, 01:15:42 pm
Oh, right.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on January 27, 2010, 02:37:20 pm
(http://imgkk.com/i/C8GbPr.png)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on January 28, 2010, 08:28:17 pm
Dominique sagt (03:25):
 Well, my brain and my skull have pretty damn matching shapes!
 Out of context, that quote would make even less sense.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on January 28, 2010, 10:26:40 pm
(me, talking to someone in a different class)

"What period do we have next?"

(that someone)
"well, you have science, and then LA, ending the day with social. I don't know what I have though"

(Me)

.....o_O


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on January 28, 2010, 10:36:50 pm
Ya right, next period is by the end of the month! </predictable joke>


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on January 28, 2010, 11:19:06 pm
"Duncan Hines would like to remind you that the best things in life are the simplest. That's why Duncan brownies aren't just brownies."

I... what?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 28, 2010, 11:19:48 pm
DUNCAN HINES IS PEOPLE!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on January 29, 2010, 11:37:21 pm
"MY NAME IS SUMMER I AM 15 YEARS OLD i have BLONDE HAIR ,MANY SCARS no NOSE OR EARS.. I AM DEAD."

Excerpt from a chain letter thing.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on January 30, 2010, 03:29:11 pm
From a Bungie Podcast talking about MMO's

"One day, somebody is going to take Myspace and mix it with crackdown in an MMO"
"So what, Crackspace?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 31, 2010, 03:31:08 pm
"A drell lay in the ocean, dying from Kepral's Syndrome, and had a dream. In his dream, the Enkindlers came to him and charted the course of his life. The drell saw the wakes and eddies, and saw that sometimes the Enkindlers swam alongside him, limbs raking the water, while other times he was alone. The drell saw that the times he was alone were the hardest times in his life.

He asked the Enkindlers, "Why was this one abandoned?"

The Enkindlers answered, their light shining brightly, "You were never abandoned. In those difficult times in your life, it was our bodies that bore you through the water."

The drell awoke and found his Kepral's Syndrome cured. If you follow the light of the Endkindlers, it can happen to you. Where the Enkindlers go, we shall follow, and where their light is the sun, we shall be the stars around them.

Send this message to six beings of your acquaintance, and your greatest wish shall come true!"

  --Email in Mass Effect 2.


Wow. Even in video games I'm getting shit I don't care about. Awesome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on February 01, 2010, 12:19:00 am
deadjackal said:
He's been playing that trendy new game called Real Life.
elad said:
That game sucks. it's like Animal Crossing but gray and money doesn't come out of trees :C

Beep said:
Geeze I hope english ia a second language for this fur....
Alateriel said:
Aha, you were making fun of it and you typed is wrong.
Man1k said:
.... No comment needed.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on February 01, 2010, 05:39:18 pm
"What kind of minions are you supposed to be?"

"Friendly ones!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on February 01, 2010, 09:28:16 pm
"Judgment is hard to swallow but easy to pass." - graphics professor


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sarge on February 02, 2010, 07:22:51 am
"Doing good things is like pissing yourself in dark pants. You get a warm feeling, but nobody notices."

-Jacob in Mass Effect 2


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on February 05, 2010, 10:47:36 pm
William says (4:43 AM):
 sleep it is then, I guess
Alex says (4:44 AM):
 lame
 night master william
William says (4:44 AM):
 night
 hope your stuck with a mental image involving me in my underwear and lots of duct tape
Alex says (4:45 AM):
 FFFFFFFFFFFFFFNOWIAM
William says (4:45 AM):
 just to make it worse, furry-me in my underwear and lots of duct tape
Alex says (4:46 AM):
 DX
William says (4:46 AM):
 night :3
Alex says (4:46 AM):
 bastard!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on February 06, 2010, 04:43:15 am
In a nutshell:

Log: Jay needs to get a new mic.
Friend: Yeah, he's had a lot of trouble with that mic.
Log: Yup.
Friend: I keep telling him it's the static from his hair, but he doesn't want to listen.
Log: Lawlz.
Me: *Laughing hysterically with no mic*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on February 06, 2010, 08:29:10 am
"I got kickBanned from my own dream and woke up before i could even read the whole ban reason. "


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on February 07, 2010, 05:55:22 pm
"Oh fuck you Roger Christian whoever you are."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on February 09, 2010, 02:47:53 pm
Clockwork Orange. Damn, this book is freaky.
pretty much the 4chan of '60 literature. but without the lulz.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on February 11, 2010, 11:56:44 pm
"If we don't have anything to do in the scene, we call it the 'inappropriate cock'. Don't have anything to do? Just cock a gun, just outta nowhere! We'll put it in anywhere, and see who can put in the most inappropriate cock."
 - Josh Halloway on Lost


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on February 12, 2010, 02:42:17 am
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on February 12, 2010, 01:34:33 pm
"You see, if you put a hotdog in a flashlight"
( i would say more, but this is about as funny as School gets.)

~Bill Nye


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on February 12, 2010, 01:48:13 pm
Wait until you watch the videos in health class. Oh goodness.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on February 12, 2010, 03:43:06 pm
i've seen the sex ed videos on youtube. Pure hilarity.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on February 12, 2010, 04:05:35 pm
"Marty! You're not thinking fourth dimensionally!"

"Freeze!"
"...Is this a hold up?"
"It's a science experiment!"

[After spending 5-10 minutes trying to get her to click something...]

McNinja says (3:29 AM):
 see?
 why do you doubt me? ;_______;
Ensouls says (3:29 AM):
 because you
Ensouls says (3:30 AM):
 are the boy who cries hermaphrodite wolf porn
 so even when it's actually a benign link
 I don't want to click it
McNinja says (3:30 AM):
 well it was a fox, but yeah


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on February 12, 2010, 10:24:02 pm
If you would like a custom bound Otherworld Entity, please convo me! (http://www.etsy.com/shop/SpiritRealm)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on February 12, 2010, 10:33:49 pm

   2. Leave the potatoes in the bowl of water so they can get starchy.
   3. Once ready, pour oil in the skillet so that there is enough to cover the whole potato. Let it heat for 3 minutes.
   4. You are now a warrior fighting a mighty oil spitting beast. Pick up
      a lid or something and shield yourself from the splattering hot oil.
   5. One by one, put the potatoes into the fryer so they become light brown.
   6. Sprinkle the fries so they can be tasty.
   7. Enjoy!

Step four the win!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on February 13, 2010, 02:09:04 am
Alex: "You should get this drunk more often Mark."
Mark: "Who?"
Alex: "You. I even said your name and everything."


Andre: "You know theres light so it won't glow right?"
Mark whilst pressing his watch up to his eye and cupping his hands around it in hilarious drunk fashion: "I know. Thats why I'm doing this!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on February 13, 2010, 07:38:12 am
oh i got quoted:D

"desks would learn faster than you!"
my math teacher speaking to my class.
yeah, we are in the third best school in warsaw. and we generally do great on tests.
god, i hate her.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on February 13, 2010, 01:28:01 pm
Well, this:

"I DID NOT SPEND SEVEN YEARS IN UNIVERSITY AND GET TWO DEGREES JUST TO SAY 'DON'T PUT YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH!'"

My film teacher, top that, ectectect.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on February 14, 2010, 05:11:47 am
Quote from: Some guy of FA
Holy crap, there are people who actually believe they are Na'Vi (from Avatar)....

I....
Wh....
How th---- MOTHER FU--- NO!!

Seriously, it's times like these I wish I had some kind of omnipresent bitchslap power, so I could backhand anyone, anywhere, and bring them back to their senses.
I know Avatar was enjoyable to some folks out there, but... holy crap, don't base your ENTIRE BEING off of a JAMES CAMERON MOVIE!!
Shit... I should just say I'm a fucking FRAGGLE and start eating buildings. I'll do that, and life will be FUUUUUCKING GREAT!!!!!!!!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on February 14, 2010, 01:54:18 pm
Fraggles eat radishes, not buildings.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on February 14, 2010, 04:18:05 pm
Because while Captain America and Iron Man may save your life, Spider-Man will get you laid.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on February 14, 2010, 04:21:12 pm
Enlighten me.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on February 14, 2010, 05:44:55 pm
PP: My mouse is becoming far too Zoolanderesque for my liking- it has serious trouble scrolling left.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on February 15, 2010, 02:29:05 pm
In 2008, fans launched an unsuccessful internet campaign to elect Striborg as Auditor General of Pennsylvania in the United States. Striborg ran on a platform to "Conquer State finances with grim malice


Oh black metal.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on February 15, 2010, 08:55:49 pm
If you would like a custom bound Otherworld Entity, please convo me! (http://www.etsy.com/shop/SpiritRealm)
Just to make this clear, I am quoting this because I think it is hilarious, delusional and soul-crushingly mundane, all at once. I've no idea who this person is. I saw the link on Regretsy, (http://www.regretsy.com) which is also hilarious.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on February 16, 2010, 05:11:14 am
"Zack, PLEASE stop singing. Your voice is so, er, beautiful that I can't bear to listen to it any longer."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sarge on February 17, 2010, 04:40:12 pm
"God, you are playing like Betty White out there!"

"That's not what your girlfriend said!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zog on February 17, 2010, 08:37:30 pm
"You can't make a lomelette widdout breakin' a few legs."
-Vinnie "Da Fish" Capra (a RP character I played recently)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alucard_101 on February 17, 2010, 09:04:17 pm
Quote
The New Number 2 [Me] says:
*Oh
*'Kay, night
William [McNinja] says:
*night babes
At least I don't get it as bad as some people


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on February 18, 2010, 05:33:10 am
Pretending to be Batman.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on February 18, 2010, 06:05:13 am
Quote from: Invulnerable
ffukcing disgussting furries masturbating to pictures of drawn animals, burn in hell you sicko zoophilsse

Zoophilsse. :v


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on February 18, 2010, 07:06:41 pm
"Maybe simple things are the key to the heart of a lady. You do not know because you do not know anything about ladies really. They are a riddle draped in a mystery wrapped in post-apocalyptic shroudwear." -Homestuck


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on February 18, 2010, 09:21:59 pm
*Is the thread*


WHAT.

Veto.
Veto seconded and carried.
Any oppose?
Veto passes. *bangs banhammergavel*


Person in the WoW trade chat channel overreacting after someone trolled him: Alright, Where are the trolls? I know there are trolls out there.
Me (Troll hunter): <---Troll
Some other guy (Troll rogue):<---Troll
Stupid guy: Come on, I know there are more out there. I'm looking for the scum of society here.
Me: Woah woah woah, that is just racist.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on February 22, 2010, 07:01:13 am
"How many members of a specified ethnic demographic does it take to change a light bulb?"
"Ten— one to screw in the light bulb and nine to act in a manner stereotypical of their ethnicity."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on February 23, 2010, 03:58:26 am
"We've both gazed into the abyss. The difference is you blinked."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on February 23, 2010, 09:26:30 am
I made a funny while being shown around the BT central phone and broadband facilities.

"This is a time switch, it allocates time slots, TLAs and various other technical jargon. This is a space switch, it allocates ports, more jargon and acronyms, these both get their instructions from this control board."

"So that panel controls time and space?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: NerdPower! on February 23, 2010, 10:14:11 am
"You have to realize that someday you will die. Until you know that you are useless."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on February 23, 2010, 11:31:34 am
"e621 is down for transition. ETA: as soon as people stop hammering F5"

http://www.e621.net/post/show/62191



6:27 PM - Steve Jobbs: Hello, I'm here to introduce you to Apple's newest product
6:28 PM - Jill sandwitch: Oh what is it
6:29 PM - Steve Jobbs: It's a robot that wears a turtle neck
6:29 PM - Steve Jobbs: it holds press confrences to announce recycled ideas as new products
6:29 PM - Steve Jobbs: We call it the iJobbs
6:29 PM - Jill sandwitch: At what price will you sell this product at
6:31 PM - Steve Jobbs: Fitting with the ultimate goals of the Apple corperation... *DRAMATIC CAMERA PAN* ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
6:31 PM - Steve Jobbs: Muahahaha!
6:31 PM - Steve Jobbs: Muahahahahahaha!
6:32 PM - Jill sandwitch: *baby finger to bottom lip*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on February 24, 2010, 10:27:31 pm
If you're hoping to learn more about the device which you'll soon be hiding within your deepest, darkest pocket, filling you with terror that, while withdrawing your keys, you'll accidentally expose the accessory, bringing your reticent Pokémaniacal tendencies to light, forcing you to ... wait, what were we talking about again? Oh, yes, the Pokéwalker accessory which comes with HeartGold and SoulSilver was recently demoed in a video released at the Nintendo Media Summit, and posted above. Looks like it has some neat functionality beyond just step-counting.

http://www.joystiq.com/2010/02/24/pokemon-heartgold-and-soulsilver-pokewalker-caught-on-video/


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on February 25, 2010, 03:47:22 pm
Quote from: BumRussianElvis
Quote from: Cheez
I got speared in the eye today. had to have a couple of stitches. Not pleasant.
... I'd say sorry, but you just got 20 badass points for that story. And an additional 20 if you get to wear an eyepatch. You know, bonus five points for the way you make it sound so casual. "How's the weekend, Bill?" "Not bad, how about yourself, Cheez?" "Ah, just got speared in the eye. Nothing big. Hey, did you hear..."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on February 26, 2010, 10:51:30 am
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alucard_101 on February 26, 2010, 04:58:45 pm
Quote
.//Sean says:
*i have a ps3
The New Number 2 says:
*Yours isn't backwards compatible, only the 20GB are
.//Sean says:
*No mine is too
*i have the Deluxe Model
The New Number 2 says:
*._.
.//Sean says:
*what?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on February 26, 2010, 05:00:21 pm
Okay, so it's technically off topic, but hey. Who officially dubbed you McNinja 2.0?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alucard_101 on February 26, 2010, 05:09:55 pm
McNinja did.


EDIT:
McNinja v2
It was because I posted a screenshot of a furry porn site


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on February 26, 2010, 07:57:48 pm
"Duct Tape is like The Force - it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on February 26, 2010, 08:21:25 pm
Everything happens for a reason. With the possible exception of football.
-Sir Terry Pratchett.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on February 26, 2010, 09:45:39 pm
Quote
Zeiss Manifold: Though, given the choice between being stuck watching my friend look at porn or being caught in a type 1a supernova, I'd spring for the porn.
Delcat: ...guess what I'm doing RIGHT NOW :3
Zeiss Manifold: Del...you're not piling matter onto white dwarf stars again, forcing their masses to exceed the Chandrasekhar limit and igniting a massive fusion explosion, are you?
Delcat: Oh yeah, dude. IN MY PANTS.
Zeiss Manifold: THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on February 27, 2010, 01:27:09 am
Me: I just gained the spell "Hurricane".
My Friend:... I'm going to go roll a character named New Orleans, I'll meet you in front of Org.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on February 28, 2010, 11:00:26 am
From Atland: (http://www.realmofatland.com/?p=1)

Barry: "Now we have no money, and no prospects... what are we going to do?"

Inky: "We do what we've always done, Barry..."

Barry: "Eat garbage, sleep in the muck, and kill things that may or may not deserve it?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on February 28, 2010, 03:20:50 pm
"For the record: I know that Rule 34 applies to my own show, and no, I haven't read any of the fan fiction. I have seen things I wish to unsee." - Adam Savage


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on February 28, 2010, 08:22:33 pm
"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. "


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on March 01, 2010, 01:24:09 am
i do like that movie :)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on March 01, 2010, 01:32:55 am
It is such a great movie.



"Death does not wait for you to be ready! Death is not considerate, or fair! And make no mistake: here, you face Death."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on March 01, 2010, 08:05:03 pm
Twitter:

Me: There is a large bump on my right thumb nail. I don't know what I did....I don't remember hurting it. It's....I keep playing with it.

Friend: @Hailfax its your twin that you absorbed in the womb


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on March 01, 2010, 09:46:32 pm
"Wow! You're left handed! Me too! If we made a baby, it would have 100% chances of being left-handed!"
- Strangest pick up line of the day.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on March 03, 2010, 12:04:38 am
Hailfax says:
 lol
[random link] (http://community.livejournal.com/beatlepics/2668794.html?#cutid1)
 Wait.
 I don't know why I linked that to you.
 Unless you want to stare at pictures of Ringo.

Alex says:
 >_>
 <_<
 weleeeeeeeeel

Hailfax says:
 LMAO
 Aaaaaaaand quoted

Alex says:
 D:

Hailfax says:
 Nu I won't.

Alex says:
 aw
 I was hoping you would have

Hailfax says:
 Well in that case


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The B-man on March 03, 2010, 04:26:37 am
"A eye for a eye makes the whole world blind"

- Gandhi


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on March 03, 2010, 07:36:15 am
"Its all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. Then its a sport!"

"The ends justifies the means"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on March 03, 2010, 02:40:22 pm
"To make an omlette, you have to smash 20million eggs" - J. Stalin


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lambeth on March 03, 2010, 08:59:13 pm
"The roar of the masses could be farts!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on March 03, 2010, 09:01:23 pm
"To make an omlette, you have to smash 20million eggs" - J. Stalin

Typical Soviet inefficiency. ;{p


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on March 04, 2010, 02:09:07 am
"If you dropped that dude in a forest with two tooth picks he'd build a shopping mall and then knock it down because he hates consumerism. That's how badass he is."- Teagan on that evil commander guy from Avatar


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on March 04, 2010, 04:36:59 am
nah, its just one giant nuclear omlette;p


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on March 04, 2010, 06:28:30 pm
"Why on earth did your brother get live? Why would he pay to get yelled at by 12 year olds?"

C: Thats that kid from a wile ago that introduced me to this forum...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 04, 2010, 06:33:07 pm
Solution to kids on the mic, place mic directly beside speakers, leave for 30 seconds. Repeat as needed.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 05, 2010, 11:20:08 am
"Do you mean "Fix" or "Weaponize"?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on March 05, 2010, 01:28:30 pm
(If you are not Catholic, you won't understand this. Basically, in "my" religion, after Ash Wednesday, Fridays you are not allowed to eat meat because of Lent, fasting, etc. That's the gist of it.)


Dad: Can't make a sandwich. No meat on Fridays.
Me: But I want one anyway.
Dad: Then you can go to Hell.
Me: It'll be the best hellsammich I've ever eaten!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on March 05, 2010, 02:00:05 pm
And as a continuation from Hail's from when I came home:

Dad: No meat on Fridays.
Me: Uh...
Dad: Too late?
Me: -nod-


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on March 06, 2010, 01:46:33 am
After a tank in World of Warcraft rolled need on something that I needed so his friend could get it, I rolled need on a mace that he needed. (Basically, He made my chances shit for getting what I needed, so I returned the favor.)

Him:WHAT THE FUCK, WHY DID YOU ROLL NEED ON THAT?
Me: I know someone that can use it.
Him: IT'S BOE (It can't be given away after it's picked up) RETARD.
Me: Oh, wait, I rolled need on it out of spite because you're a fucking cock.

I then spent the rest of the dungeon rolling need on every single item that dropped (and getting 90% of them) and talking shit and standing around while everyone was fighting.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on March 06, 2010, 09:55:13 am
Do online game make people immature? Or do they only bring out the dickery?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 06, 2010, 10:59:10 am
(http://imgkk.com/i/ZMEjbO.jpg)

Or GIFT for short.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zog on March 07, 2010, 03:15:24 am
(friend) " ...so, did she have kaleidoscope eyes?"
(me) "Hell, I don't know ...I was GONE."

reference (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-yy2URAYqU)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on March 07, 2010, 12:21:38 pm
....h'whuuuuuut?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on March 08, 2010, 12:16:36 am
"What happened to the good ole days, when an artist on drugs could produce wonderful pieces of art?"

Dragonfanboy : GTFO out u
Saucissonvert: For $1000 dollars, Dragonfanboy: what does the O in GTFO stand for?
Leo Kinoske: Onion
The Dog In Your Guitar: GRAB THE FUCKING ONION!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 08, 2010, 06:12:11 am
Off of PaceFook.

William McCreight --> Matthew Goodman

Goodman, there's no need to feel down.
I said, Goodman, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, Goodman, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.

Goodman, there's a place you can go.
I said, Goodman, when you're short on your dough.
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good... time.

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.

They have everything that you need to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel ...

Goodman, are you listening to me?
I said, Goodman, what do you want to be?
I said, Goodman, you can make real your dreams.
But you've got to know this one thing!

No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there, to the Y.M.C.A.
I'm sure they can help you today.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on March 08, 2010, 09:59:06 am
You can hang out with all the boys ...
(http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r259/phoenixdude7/Emoticons/icon_winky.gif)
I can't be the only one who's thought that.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 08, 2010, 10:26:42 am
Well they are pretty much the mascot band for gay guys.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on March 08, 2010, 12:29:32 pm
(http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r259/phoenixdude7/Emoticons/icon_winky.gif)
I can't be the only one who's thought that.

Yep. You're the only person ever to have thought that the YMCA song might be a bit queer. EVER.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on March 08, 2010, 08:14:00 pm
(http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r259/phoenixdude7/Emoticons/John_confusion.gif)

Edit: (We were talking about anime airing next season that we wanted to watch.)

Ralion says:
 Mayoi Neko Overun is the only thing that looks good. *trolltrolltroll*
 Looks like I could have picked worse though.
Yukiru says:
 that's such a terrible thing to be able to say.
 damnit japan.
Ralion says:
 An anime about an arcade TCG played by magical girl idols.
Yukiru says:
 yeah I can't even bring myself to watch that.
 I did pichi pichi pitch.

Ralion says:
 Bakugan, of course.
 And SD Gundam
Yukiru says:
 are you kidding?
Ralion says:
 There aren't enough Gundam series yet.
 Yes.

Ralion says:
 WAIT
 SUPER STREET FIGHTER 4
Yukiru says:
 *stare*
Ralion says:
 Yeah, I'm still joking.
Yukiru says:
 >(


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on March 09, 2010, 02:06:15 pm
Theart - Take a look at these lyrics I just wrote

Rest of Dragonforce - I swear to God, if they have any of the following words: dream, wings, fighting, or fire, you are out of the band.

Theart - Uhhh...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on March 09, 2010, 03:20:01 pm
Friend: You know those male enhancement ads we all get? I've always wanted one to say something like "Extenze- We'll make you a superstar" I would buy into that brand.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on March 09, 2010, 05:03:47 pm
4:00pmAlexander
D:

stop objectifying me!

4:01pmLorinda
hahaha

men are just objects

sexy, sexy objects

4:01pmAlexander
>W>

4:01pmLorinda
xD

naaah

I'm sure you all have some sort of soul

or soul-substitute

soul margarine

4:02pmAlexander
xD

4:02pmLorinda
can't believe it's not morality!

lol


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on March 09, 2010, 08:20:04 pm
Dominique sagt (03:06):
 I'm back!
Cass' sagt (03:07):
 no
Cass' sagt (03:10):
 .......
 now you are back.....
 <_<
Dominique sagt (03:11):
 You're right! 
Cass' sagt (03:11):
 i always am!
 >_>
Dominique sagt (03:12):
 5+5=?
Cass' sagt (03:13):
 5 + 5 = dragon !
 3 + 3 = cat
 4 +2 = dog
 6 + 9 = fox
Dominique sagt (03:14):
 Fuck, you know everything!
Dominique sagt (03:15):
 Except 1 x 5
Cass' sagt (03:15):
 manticore!
Dominique sagt (03:15):
 1 x 5 = starshine
Cass' sagt (03:16):
 no i'm sure it's manticore....
3 x 11 is star
2 / 59 is shine
 3 x 59 +2 x 11 = starshine
Dominique sagt (03:17):
 See now you do EVERYTHING wrong!
Cass' sagt (03:19):
 you just have no grasp of the finer methogs of mathematical, animalistic astrophysics!
 methods*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on March 09, 2010, 09:38:58 pm
Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter...you're s******* me. Really? That's...awesome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on March 10, 2010, 02:09:43 pm
Theart - Take a look at these lyrics I just wrote

Rest of Dragonforce - I swear to God, if they have any of the following words: dream, wings, fighting, or fire, you are out of the band.

Theart - Uhhh...

"Fighting the wings of a dream over fields of fire in the night" is going to the be next Dragonforce single, just you wait.

"I need to be pissed on and I need to be pissed on right now."
                 -Skyy John.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on March 10, 2010, 05:19:31 pm
lol, Dragon force quote is very very funny, and Very very true :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 11, 2010, 09:34:45 am
"A ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness: nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a ham sandwich is better than nothing."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on March 11, 2010, 09:38:59 am
"A ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness: nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a ham sandwich is better than nothing."

(http://imgkk.com/i/04Fmtq.jpg)

OM NOM NOM NOM


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on March 11, 2010, 01:39:42 pm
"A ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness: nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a ham sandwich is better than nothing."

*Head explodes*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 11, 2010, 03:06:08 pm
From the TF2 section in FP.
Quote from: McNab;
What is the point of leveled weapons?
I mean, are they any better? Nothing was said about that, at least, i dont think so anyway.
Do the levels even matter?
Quote from: m0nkey
Nope, the levels are just there for fun. I think it was a joke Valve made directed towards MMO's
Quote from: troglydyte
No, other than making you awesome.
Like me and my level 86 huntsman.
:smug:
Quote from: Gorm
level 100 FaN with a level 98 sandman
:smug:
Quote from: elitestrider
Lv0 ambassador and blutsaugher. Also lv100 axtinguisher.
Quote from: ShnitzelKiller
Yea, well I have a level three sentry.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on March 12, 2010, 05:56:10 am
Yep, I'm Cheez, took a spear in the eye and dropped my bayonet on my tankard, what a trash day, ho-hum. *leaves, presumably to burninate some peasants*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on March 12, 2010, 06:39:41 am
"Oh, to be the undead! To feast upon the flesh of the STUPID!"
-"Primitive" Charlie

I seriously loved that one xD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 13, 2010, 07:23:11 pm
"Besides, I really don't think the pope speaks for us furries."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: MLE on March 14, 2010, 11:07:13 pm
Hailfax says:
 Words of Love reminds me of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMezwtB1oCU

MLE says:
 Sarra. Words of Love. Was written by Buddy Holly.

Hailfax says:
 ......Oh.
The more you know -star flies by-


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alucard_101 on March 15, 2010, 05:42:29 pm
Quote
toby says:
*Do not tell a sould but the water in your last drink had Criccthulhu seeds in it.
*Not only are you McNinja 2.
*But Criccthulhu 3
<Admin>The New Number 2</Nimda>  \\\Kolony 3 says:
*Aw man, I knew it tasted a little funny
toby says:
*Not MAN seed.
<Admin>The New Number 2</Nimda>  \\\Kolony 3 says:
*xD
toby says:
*Your quoting this as i
<Admin>The New Number 2</Nimda>  \\\Kolony 3 says:
*If I'm Criccthulu 3, who's Criccthulu 2?
toby says:
**I type onto TZH aren't you?
<Admin>The New Number 2</Nimda>  \\\Kolony 3 says:
*And no, I'm actually not
toby says:
*Ralion
*and damn. =(
<Admin>The New Number 2</Nimda>  \\\Kolony 3 says:
*Oh, well in that case


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on March 16, 2010, 10:30:52 am
Get laid. So let's day you see a girl you like at the end of the bar and she is this famous person from local TV. You are petrified about the prospect of approaching her. You do not need to be afraid. You can bag her and get laid when you do the Jedi mind trick. It is just a matter of being confident. Wait a little and she will probably be approached by some overbearing asshole. You can see it in her body language. If she looks uncomfortable and her knees point away from the guy, then he is probably a nuisance to her. Come in like the Jedi Knight you are and rescue her. Go across the room and say, "Oh hi honey, sorry I'm late". For added effect, ask her, "Who is your new friend?"  She will appreciate the fact that you rescued her but you are also in danger of looking like another overbearing guy. To avoid this, say, "I saw that you needed help in that situation. I apologize for being too forward." Buy her a drink and walk away. The next day send her flowers and a cell phone. Call the cell phone at the time she receives your package. Say "I would have called you on your number but I never got it." It is smooth and she will appreciate the effort. Use your charm from here because she will be entranced.

From How to Do the Jedi Mind Trick (http://www.howtodothings.com/family-relationships/how-to-do-the-jedi-mind-trick)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on March 16, 2010, 08:37:36 pm
If this works, i owe you HUGE.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on March 16, 2010, 09:57:05 pm
This can only end well.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on March 16, 2010, 10:01:19 pm
BUt of course your being sarcasti-
*mindtrick'd*
O.O


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 17, 2010, 11:51:50 am
It woul;dn'r surpris  mer if it cost more bacuase you live somewhere where shooty things are cokmmon, whereas herte, it's sod all. therefore, stuff like this is conmdidered fancier, so costs more.

Cheez is secretly Irish.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on March 17, 2010, 12:03:47 pm
':{|

???


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 17, 2010, 02:26:38 pm
Your typing makes it seem like you're drunk, and it's St. Paddies.

Quote
Clef: Genre-savvy and enigmatic, Clef is our resident bad ass. Rumor has it, Clef has no penis, just another hand, holding a gun.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on March 17, 2010, 03:13:03 pm
I was drunk, but that was more from getting pissed on my birthday and not having gone to bed until something like 0330.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on March 18, 2010, 12:05:18 am
Q: Would you eat your fart bubbles when in water or sniff someones butt simultaneously with them farting heavily?
A: I hate all corporate driven holidays.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zog on March 18, 2010, 05:55:55 pm
"No woman, no Chrysler ..."


(opening line of "No Woman, No Cry" as performed by my friend's band at a party thrown by Ford employees)

<edit>

"I want a Pan-galactic Gargle Blaster ...in a tippy-cup."



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on March 21, 2010, 03:05:01 am
Friend: Me Liz Kyle and Brian are watching monster a-go go what say you?
Me: I say "FUCK OH GOD NO JESUS PLEASE NOT THAT WHY WHY WHY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRAAAAHHAAAHHAAAAAAHHHaaahhhaaaahhhh...~" *Disintegrates into a fine powder*
Friend: Oh it's not that bad
Me: I can't talk. I've ceased to be.

*Hour or so later*

Friend: No words can discribe what I just sat through and saw O.o
Me: AND NOW YOU KNOW.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on March 21, 2010, 06:37:36 am
Friend: I'm going throw a hand full of coins at you, and your going be like, "fuck I'm poor".
Me: *burst out laughing*



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on March 21, 2010, 06:39:06 am
@ sammich: what movie were you talking about?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on March 21, 2010, 04:56:07 pm
Gary Oak was the nice guy all along.
Quote
In the original Pokémon Red/Blue, when you encounter your rival in Lavender Town he asks whether or not you know what it’s like to have one of your Pokémon die. At this point in the game, he no longer has his Raticate that he used in previous battles. Your rival battle before this took place aboard the S.S. Anne. Your rival’s Raticate sustained serious injuries from the battle… but, because crowding and confusion on the luxury liner, he was unable to make it to a Pokémon Center in time and the Raticate passed away. The real reason your rival is in Lavender Town to begin with is to lay his deceased friend to rest. Despite all of this, your rival never outwardly tells you that you’re responsible for the death of his Pokémon. He hides his grief and instead channels that energy into the motivation he needed to continue his quest to become Indigo League Champion. The death of his Raticate effectively destroys your rival’s impish, childhood innocence. Although he tells himself that he doesn’t hold you responsible, he subconsciously holds a great deal of resentment towards you which further fuels his ambitions. Tearfully swearing upon his Raticate’s grave to not fail in what he set out to do, he trains hard in hopes of becoming better than you… defeating you… and to eventually make it to the Pokémon League. Mere moments after he became Indigo League champion, he was defeated… by you. Although he fulfilled his promise to his fallen Pokémon, it was only for a painfully brief instant. In the end, your rival is scolded by his grandfather while you receive the professor’s praise. During the course of the game, you steal your rival’s innocence, crush his dreams, and ultimately snatch away the love of his own grandfather. Oh, and by the way, your rival doesn’t have any parents. He’s an orphan.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on March 21, 2010, 07:24:43 pm
that makes me want to sell my copy of pokemon.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on March 21, 2010, 09:10:50 pm
"THIS IS AS PAINFUL AS A MILLION TINY PUPPIES BEING IN MY BLOODSTREAM!!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on March 22, 2010, 12:12:48 am
Quote from: meteorsoul
(http://i43.tinypic.com/wuf8jr.png)
HEY FAGGOT, REMEMBER ME?

I KICKED YOUR ASS 10 YEARS AGO AND I’LL DO IT AGAIN.  IS YOUR STARTER MALE?  TOO FUCKING BAD, MY MILTANK WILL USE ATTRACT AND GET YOUR SHIT SO HORNY IT WON’T ATTACK HALF THE TIME.

WHAT?  PLANNING ON USING A STATUS PROBLEM?  WELL, YOU CAN SUCK A DICK BECAUSE MILTANK HAS A LUM BERRY THAT WILL CURE IT NO MATTER WHAT.

THINK YOU’VE ALMOST GOT ME BEAT?  TIME TO SPAM MILK DRINK LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW.

HOW ‘BOUT I STOMP YOUR ASS?  HAHA, TWO FOR FLINCHING, YOU PUSSY!

ALSO, ROLLOUT.

FUCK YOU.

GETTING MY BADGE IS IMPOSSIBLE, YOU SHOULD JUST TURN OFF THE FUCKING GAME RIGHT NOW AND GO BACK TO YOUR FAGGOT ASS PLATINUM ‘CAUSE YOU’RE GONNA BE STUCK IN GOLDENROD CITY FOREVER.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on March 22, 2010, 08:29:43 am
lawls, MLE was bitching about her yesterday.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on March 22, 2010, 12:49:17 pm
I am corrupting the shit out of my battle brothers.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 22, 2010, 03:06:11 pm
I have vodka, get over here :V
Double posting to ninja Log.
I just get really horny when I drink. Yeah. Except for the first time. I had a bit too much and pulled an Edward Norton in Fight Club.

*Drinks McNinja's vodka*


GOD DAMN IT MCNINJA.
PREEMPTIVE REVENGE!

GODLIKE!
[/Quake Announcer]


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on March 23, 2010, 01:55:28 pm
Student: Kimura-sensei, why did you become a teacher?
Kimura: CUZ I LIKE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS AND STUFF!

Love Azumanga Daioh...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on March 23, 2010, 01:59:22 pm
I second that. :3


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 23, 2010, 02:06:33 pm
Grown women generally have bigger tits.

And are less likely to act like teenagers.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on March 23, 2010, 03:40:44 pm
Student: Kimura-sensei, why did you become a teacher?
Kimura: CUZ I LIKE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS AND STUFF!

Love Azumanga Daioh...
I can't watch that show without falling asleep every 5 minutes; it's an alright show, but something about it just makes me sleepy.

Also, on topic:
Quote
Go Team Sea Slug!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on March 23, 2010, 07:50:40 pm
I'm the opposite, the show has me laughing quite often, especially that teacher and half the stuff Osaka says. It keeps my attention throughout each episode.

Ah man, that one has me chuckling. Can't remember her "logic" on why she choose that though.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tori-saurus-rex on March 24, 2010, 02:33:50 pm
Go Team Sea Slug!

Go Banana !


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gezkill on March 25, 2010, 03:12:04 pm
"Ooplink"-Jenny


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on March 25, 2010, 05:03:36 pm
That thing looks like Scrappy Doo.

Kill it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on March 25, 2010, 08:25:05 pm
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: imma guy
You: Hi. Me too.
Stranger: haha cool
Stranger: how r u
You: Slighty tipsy but otherwise grand.
Stranger: hahah
Stranger: im bored
You: Oh yeah. that too.
Stranger: lol im a a lil horny
You: Then go watch some porn.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on March 25, 2010, 10:52:28 pm
"KJ, why are you always losing your top?"

"Well, you know, it was Mardi Gras recently."

No, I'm not giving you any context. Also, when I told my sister about that:

"He's really open about being gay, I mean, he mentioned it within a few minutes of me meeting him. Because it wasn't obvious already!"

"... No, 'You should date him.' is not an appropriate answer in this situation."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on March 26, 2010, 10:17:23 pm
Alex: I like how he bounces his fucking pecs xD
Lorinda: I bet you do
Alex: ._.;


(from a conversation about the hilarious Hercules movie starring Ahnold)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 27, 2010, 04:50:34 am
"Pandas are the least racist animal. They are black, white, AND asian."

"Psychic powers don't exist."
"They do in my head."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on March 28, 2010, 12:45:22 am
Stephen: THE DOCTOR JUST KILLED ME?
Me: Which doctor?
Stephen: THE WITCH DOCTOR!
Me: Which doctor is the witch doctor?

Followed by several minutes of "Who's on first" jokes.

My friend Ryan (The one who was on Pills):
Did you guys I would just pop around the corner and taunt and then run back?

He started peeing in the bathtub and just said 'This is how you take a bath!'


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Sammich! on March 28, 2010, 01:27:08 am
Curtis: do ya know what duck butter is?
Me: I have no idea XD
Curtis: The combination of sweat from the ballsac and anus that creates a buttery film on the grundle and butthole. occuring usually from an unwashed scrotum creating a smelly odor that worsens in thickness and odor by the minute. Also known as DB or Deeb.
Bobby rubbed his deeb all over his roommates pillows.
I have some killa DB today!
Curtis: have fun with that
*Long pause*
Me: |:C


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on March 28, 2010, 01:40:46 am
*craig is drwaing an epic picture*

Me: "there has to be a kid on fire!"

Craig: "you gave me an idea because all I heard was "on fire"!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 28, 2010, 05:44:21 am
<morrowindsky>     Hold on a fucking minute. http://i39.tinypic.com/t03y4p.png
<Zero_Point>     "wait what" indeed.
<Scotty Kirax>     "Scottyfox" Internet faggots ruined my name
<FatBustard>     no Scotty, you are the internet faggots
<Zero_Point>     And then Scotty was a /b/.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on March 28, 2010, 11:28:56 am
William says (11:21 AM):
 I just turned a news thread about a racist senitor into "What's worse, furry porn or Steve Jobbs?"
Alex says (11:21 AM):
 LOL
Alex says (11:22 AM):
 nice work sir 
William says (11:24 AM):
 furry porn seems to be winning too
 just goes to show you 
Alex says (11:24 AM):
 people hate their furrys
William says (11:25 AM):
 no, I mean people like it more
Alex says (11:25 AM):
 oh
 lol steve jobbs
William says (11:26 AM):
 so people would rather look at drawings of fantasy animals humping than listen to some twat in a turtlenneck :U
Alex says (11:28 AM):
 XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on March 28, 2010, 11:33:22 am
William says:
 what's worse;
 furries or Steve Jobbs
The Infamous Hobo says:
 Furry Steve Jobbs
William says:
 oh god no
The Infamous Hobo says:
 Did I win
 ?
William says:
 no, you have unleashed a terrible evil
The Infamous Hobo says:
 =D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on March 28, 2010, 03:23:12 pm
(http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/682/ifur.jpg)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 28, 2010, 04:25:53 pm
Ban Evasion Alt posted:
*Dickgirl pikachu porn*

Big Ben posted:
WHAT THE FUCK MAN
WHAT THE COCKING MUNCHING RAPTOR JESUS FUCKING SHIT IS THAT?!
Agghghgehgwiunwr;ner

LeonS posted:
Dear god on Earth remove that. I am now going to ask a serious question: Why do we let furries live? It's not like they contribute to society or so.

Number 41 posted:
where's the funny? WHERE???

Sir M posted:
Well its not like your contributing to society complaining about furries

Big Ben posted:
HHHHHHNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGg.

Mbbird posted:
Perfect example of how furries take no regard to gender whatsoever.

LeonS posted:
Yes because that's the only thing I ever do: Complain about furries. Only thing I ever ever do is complain about them.

Gamer Kiwi posted:
(http://www.facepunch.com/fp/emoot/barf.gif)

hoboharry posted:
Please move your ass into the furry section if you're going to be putting furry shit in here.

rampageturke posted:
error 404 - funny not found

Ban Evasion Alt posted:
Protip, the funny part is after the picture.

limestone posted:
Mine's better. *another pic*

nuggi man posted:
*Quotes the pics with a reaction pic*

LeanS posted:
Leaving thread until further notice.

xxncxx posted:
*quotes it twice*
Hawt.

zombiefreak posted:
Stop quoting that shit.

Ban Evasion Alt:
ENTIRE THREAD IS BABlES

Big Ben posted:
AGH WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GOD DAMN PEOPLE?!
Fuck this is the most disgusting LMAOPT(The thread I'm quoting) ever and I made it through v9001.

Lambeth posted:
That makes no goddamn sense at all.

rampageturke posted:
stop, now

cep posted:
STOP QUOTING IT. Disgusting Fur-psychos.



You have been banned for the following reason:
NSFW/shock image

Date the ban will be lifted: 31st March 2010, 11:52PM


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on March 28, 2010, 06:46:12 pm
My mate Rhyd-

"Greensleeves is 15th century Lady Gaga."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on March 28, 2010, 11:36:36 pm
Hilary of IGN Comics wrote on her blog last year that she received the following email from Eng:

    Are you looking for any new writers? I am the youngest publishedscience fiction novelist in America and I am very into comic books. Myfirst novel, Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate, will soon be a comic bookitself. Furthermore, I am highly interested in the philosophy ofcomics, having published a few articles myself.

    Kenneth Eng, novelist

I love how he uses the word "novelist" after his name, as if it’s some kind of title. So Hilary replied:

    Ummm… seriously dude, all of us write novels so we can get the hell out of here.

    We don’t have any more freelance money, unfortunately.

And Eng barked back:

    Yeah, but my novels are cooler than yours bitch. Don’t contact me again.

Worried that she’d spurned a truly great talent, Hilary looked into Eng’s novel, Dragon: Lexicon Triumvirate, and discovered that she had truly missed out. Check out these choice bits she gathered from the book:

    "Time is not a concept. It is a word."

    This is how the novel begins. Wow. Mindblowing stuff — and this book stars dragons!

    The dialogue is also top-notch. Here is one fine example:

    "Interesting," muttered Dennagon to himself. "The force of gravityis 9.8 meters per second squared on this planet, but not in space. I
    wonder if ’space’ actually exists."

    And there’s ACTION!

    "Dennagon nonchalantly dropped down from his perched position tothe ground. Without even taking his eyes off his book, he casuallythrust his fist out, punching a hole straight through the head of oneof his enemies as it charged. The decapitated body still handing fromhis forearm, he merely shifted his fist to the side so that the otherscould run into it. Expectedly, they did, blasting apart their ownskulls against his scaly knuckles."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on March 29, 2010, 12:52:27 pm
ensouls why xD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on March 29, 2010, 05:57:48 pm
MLE says (12:55 AM):
 ohgodwhat
William says (12:56 AM):
 well you did say duck penis
MLE says (12:56 AM):
 yes but...actually, nevermind. just. yeah


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on March 29, 2010, 10:21:22 pm
"Dad, the Homunculus Pride came inside my body ... and it felt icky."
 - Alphonse Elric

*Immaturity*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 01, 2010, 10:48:40 pm
Allyssa: AARON MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!  BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH MY BOYFRIEND BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH CRYING BLAH BLAH (I'm paraphrasing here) BLAH BLAH BLAH I ONLY KNOW YOU BECAUSE YOUR GIRLFRIEND PRETENDS TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME BLAH BLAH BLAH PERIOD.

Me: I barely know you and it sounds like you have a really shitty relationship with your boyfriend. (Actual quote)


Long story short, If you barely know me, DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR SHITTY LIFE BECAUSE I DON'T CARE.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on April 02, 2010, 09:53:10 am
kay, this isnt the wierdest thing ive ever said, but its pretty wierd.

YOU ARE. MY HERO. AARON...(Smith?)
Im justa gonna take a guess at that last name of yours...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on April 02, 2010, 11:04:15 am
Aaron A. Aaronson.

Why is it so hard to get skinny jeans in my size? Why in the hell do that sell "skinny" jeans in a 38" waist anyway, no one wants to see fat people in something skin tight.

...This isn't Random Thoughts.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on April 02, 2010, 12:44:26 pm
And God said, "Let there be win."
And lo! there was win, and it was good.
-from Highschool of the Dead.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 03, 2010, 04:54:58 pm
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls' pants.
Use it to get into their heads. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=yoN6XfyQsr4)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on April 03, 2010, 07:58:21 pm
I like "Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry" from the same source. Yes, I am one of the five people who listened to BBC 6 Music before all the weeping and wailing about the proposed shut down. I mean Friday Rock Show with Bruce Dickinson (where I learned about "Hospital Of Death") should be bloody mandatory listening.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 04, 2010, 09:30:59 pm
"And supposedly, the Pope has no superpowers. They say he's not even a mutant."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dr. McNinja on April 05, 2010, 08:32:23 am
"They say he's not even a mutant."
Of course not, "Burn the heretic. Kill the mutant. Purge the unclean." (http://dl.dropbox.com/u/5636656/v.gif)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on April 05, 2010, 10:05:25 am
A Murry Purry Faggot Furry: If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster's feet, what would I have?
TheInfamousHobo: ?
A Murry Purry Faggot Furry: two feet of my cock in your ass. :U
TheInfamousHobo: xD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on April 07, 2010, 08:31:00 pm
So, in my film class we were talking about the Horror genre and one writer in our textbook talks about feminism and shit like that and Freud....yeah, I think that's all you need to know to get this.

 
 
Girl in class: "I mean, is there really any weapon that ISN'T PHALLIC?"

Friend: "Bear Traps!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on April 09, 2010, 02:21:13 pm
Social teacher: "What is the country bordering south africa, and blalbablabla (i really dont remember the question)"

Me (to my team): "I dunno, mombassa?"

Ben(Team writer guy): *begins writing*

Me: THAT WAS JUST A GUESS! MOMBASSA IS A CITY! AND YOU SPELT IT WRONG ANYWAYS!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 09, 2010, 02:44:16 pm
Funny that you did too. Mombasa.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 09, 2010, 03:54:16 pm
You also spelled "spelled" wrong.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on April 09, 2010, 04:12:46 pm
thats just how i talk.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 09, 2010, 04:42:44 pm
That's not something to be proud of. Or even okay with.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 09, 2010, 05:29:32 pm
Nothing wrong with regional dialects, Log.

I assume that's what that is.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 09, 2010, 05:33:14 pm
I dunno, I've always just felt that "I just talk like that" is an excuse for poor grammar.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 09, 2010, 05:34:43 pm
Can be. I guess it'd depend on if it's just the one person who talks like that, or the majority of people who live in the area they're from.

EDIT- Of course, this doesn't apply for text, that should be correct. Quotes, though, are an exception.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 09, 2010, 05:36:37 pm
I suppose that's true, but come on, spelling something wrong because you say it weird?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on April 09, 2010, 05:44:58 pm
I guess if you want to underline the slangyness of the conversation it calls for it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 09, 2010, 05:49:52 pm
I suppose that's true, but come on, spelling something wrong because you say it weird?

Yep. You just made the same mistake as Stan, actually. You typed 'weird'. The grammatically correct way of saying/writing it would be 'weirdly'. However, the American dialect of English doesn't follow this rule. Therefore, you got it wrong because 'it's how you talk'.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 09, 2010, 05:58:18 pm
Well, Touche. I tip my hat to you, sir.

(Tim)
I sit down when I pee,
There's nothin that crazy bout me,
I'm just takin a wizz,
Mind your own bizz,
Why is everybody always starin at me?
(Eric)
Hey bro, I gotta go,
Let me through,
I gotta go number two.
(Tim)
No can do I'm takin a pee,
Sittin on the lou having a good long wee,
(Eric)
Are you sittin down?
(Tim)
I'm sittin down.
(Eric)
And you're not makin brown?
(Tim)
I'm not makin brown.
(Eric)
Are you makin iced tea?
(Tim)
Just lemonade.
(Eric)
But are you sittin down?
(Tim)
I'm sittin down!
(Eric)
Why don't you stand like a regular man?
Then you can pee in the urinal can.
(Tim)
If you really wanna know why I'm sittin strong,
I just can't stand touching my dong.

Brought to you by Tim & Eric, Masters of comedy.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 14, 2010, 11:21:12 pm
Aaron
... Are you implying that McNinja is a robot?

Lorinda
>>
maaaybe

Double post because I think I'm the only person who likes this thread.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on April 14, 2010, 11:31:18 pm
Twitter:

Me: AHHH! WTF, ROOMMATE'S PHANTOM PRINTER CAME ON. SHE'S NOT HERE. #myroommateistryingtokillmeinmysleep

Friend: @Hailfax hahahahahahaha

Me: @friend: I should write this in my film paper for Pagano. PS, as of right now my life has turned into a horror film. Lemme mansplain. 1.phantom cuts/up to 10. 2. phantom printer 3. roommate is never here 4. roommate is a ghost. 5. roommate is a cat. 6. Roommate causes death smells 7. roommate has too many clothes. 8. roommate is the devil incarnate. 9. finally, roommate shrieks like a mother fucking banshee. Conclusion, I am probably going to die by the end of semester

Friend: @Hailfax 6. Roomate is a shape-shifter that can not only become a cat-ghost, but also a printer. @Hailfax 7. You're in room 1408

Me: @friend BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A SHITTY MOVIE. ;A;

I was going to posty post, but you beat me Log!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on April 16, 2010, 01:31:27 pm
Louis: Run or shoot.....RUN OR SHOOT?!

Bill: BOTH!

-L4D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on April 16, 2010, 01:36:46 pm
Louis: Run or shoot.....RUN OR SHOOT?!

Bill: BOTH!

-L4D

 ;D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on April 16, 2010, 01:37:45 pm
"Here's another curse for you; may all your bacon burn!"

~Calcifur, Howl's Moving Castle.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on April 16, 2010, 01:38:09 pm
Me "The Shinigami chop from Soul Eater is badass"
Friend "The shinigami chop has the ability to blow your balls out of your feet."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on April 16, 2010, 11:31:21 pm
"It is here that Joshua meets his guide, the only interactive character in the entire game. You may have seen the screenshots that show a buxom blonde with collagen lips, high-heeled boots, and enough cleavage to make Jenna Jameson feel envious. The idea of having a woman who looks more like a porn star than a holy figure is strange enough in a game that has strong Christian overtones all throughout. But that oddity goes straight to disturbing awkwardness when she smiles and announces that she is, in fact, your grandmother."
 Review of the adventure game Heaven (http://www.adventuregamers.com/article/id,1125)

"Here's another curse for you; may all your bacon burn!"

~Calcifur, Howl's Moving Castle.

You are my favorite new TZH user.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on April 17, 2010, 12:00:07 am
Me "The Shinigami chop from Soul Eater is badass"
Friend "The shinigami chop has the ability to blow your balls out of your feet."
Too bad we won't get more of that in animated form since the producers of the anime decided to go the "Hellsing(original)/Gantz" line and not continue making episodes of the ACTUAL manga!
And I'm annoyed that the new manga chapter of soul eater isn't out yet.
(http://media.onemanga.com/mangas/00000040/000297632/24.jpg)
WANT MOAR!!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on April 17, 2010, 06:43:21 am
The guy at the bottom looks so like Sammich!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on April 17, 2010, 07:15:59 am
Its actually a girl  ;D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on April 17, 2010, 07:34:05 am
So this is the face of Sammichita!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on April 17, 2010, 07:40:04 am
He is a SHE!  :o


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on April 17, 2010, 11:23:01 am
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

"I fart in your general direction!"

~Monty Python and the Holy Grail


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on April 17, 2010, 11:43:25 am
and add the french accent to that:D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 18, 2010, 03:14:27 am
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: 17 F cali, u?
Stranger: arpit
Stranger: 19
Stranger: male
You: arpit?
Stranger: can i see u
Stranger: male
You: yeah
You: but I have a question first
Stranger: what are u doing alone
Stranger: ya
You: Fuckin... How do magnets work?
Stranger: same as male and female work
You: I don't understand.
Stranger: same ascock and pucy work
You: I don't even know what a pucy is.
Stranger: r u female
Stranger: sure
Stranger: u don't know pucy
You: Do you mean vagina?
Stranger: ya
You: Ohhh.
You: Penises and Vaginas have nothing to do with Magnets.
Stranger: its same work
Stranger: like magnest
You: Explain
Stranger: its have attraction power
Stranger: north and south pole
You: Okay
Stranger: r u got
Stranger: ?
You: No, because you're doing a terrible job explaining magnets.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 19 Male Bi Horny
You: 18 Male straight not really horny but thanks for offering I suppose
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 18, 2010, 06:18:09 am
Omegle is awesome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on April 18, 2010, 12:48:40 pm
Hate filled rant is hate filled:

[13:39] Outlaw: oh man
[13:40] Outlaw: just when I think there are no more ways for me to be dissapointed AC/DC has sacrificed every shred of creative dignity ever thus becoming confirmed sell outs
[13:40] Outlaw: I mean when you see pre teen girls with AC/DC pink glitter tank tops you begin to suspect but now they're doing an Iron Man album to support the new movie?
[13:41] Outlaw: wtf is that?
[13:41] Outlaw: rock and roll is dead
[13:41] Outlaw: http://marvel.com/news/moviestories.11071.ac~slash~dc_powers_up_iron_man_2_soundtrack
[13:42] Outlaw: if my job wouldn't fire me I'd get a mohawk tonight and repierce my ear with a safety pin
[13:42] Outlaw: not that it would solve anything but I would feel like I had vented some anger
[13:43] Outlaw: get this "Music is an integral part of the Tony Stark and Iron Man experience"
[13:43] Outlaw: no
[13:43] Outlaw: its not
[13:44] Outlaw: a vital part of the iron man experience is he's a flying fucking robot suit that blows shit up and he was probably the only marvel hero ever to have a human flaw (alcohol abuse) which fools people into thinking he was deeper and better written
[13:45] Outlaw: can you imagine being the schill who had to write this page? How do you spin ultraconsumerism like this positively?
[13:46] Outlaw: I might be overreacting but i've had a lot of free floating anger this weekend and this is just epically stupid


FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on April 18, 2010, 02:06:18 pm
whine whine whine xP


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 19, 2010, 12:58:42 am
Reload:(verb)
1. Something you do after your target is dead.
 - The S&S munitions motto.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: WILD ABRA HAS APPEARED!
You: Dude, it's not even worth my time, fucker will teleport before I can do anything
You: UNLESS I USE A QUICK BALL
You: YEAH
Stranger: OH SHIT
Stranger: *1*
You: DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING
Stranger: *2*
Stranger: WILD ABRA BROKE FREE!
Stranger: WILD ABRA USES TELEPORT!
Stranger: WILD ABRA FLED!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on April 19, 2010, 12:58:41 pm
Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world - "No, you move."

- Captain America


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on April 19, 2010, 01:54:15 pm
... That was pretty epic.

"Nonsense! You only say it's impossible because it's never been done before!"

~The Princess Bride


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on April 19, 2010, 03:14:08 pm
"Nonsense! You only say it's impossible because it's never been done before!"
~The Princess Bride

That is a pretty good rule to live life by. Well, in normal thoughts and not like im going to get hit by a truck and live sort of way. Use common sense.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 19, 2010, 03:15:31 pm
*swings in on a rope*
Plenty of people have been hit by trucks and survived!
*Swings out on that same rope*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on April 19, 2010, 03:18:25 pm
I know but those were accidents, nobody is going to wake up and have that be their goal.

My Friend: "So I'm going to Greece soon"
Me: "Oh yeah? Are the airports still closed?"
My Friend: "Doesn't matter we will all just take a train"
Me: "Good luck getting across the Atlantic on a train from Ontario retard."
My Friend: " FUUUUUU"

It was good times had by all.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 19, 2010, 04:10:17 pm
Wow man. I totally came into this thread thinking "Peter Steele is probably gonna be some fagass".


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on April 20, 2010, 07:57:12 am
"You fight like old people fuck!"

Raider-fallout 2


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on April 20, 2010, 08:10:01 am
hahahah i remember that!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on April 21, 2010, 05:39:38 pm
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: im sorry Fabio. but your...not the father
You: D=
You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Stranger: IM SORRY D:
You: Its bill isnt it!
You: *breaks down crying* Why?
Stranger: your best friend came on to me
Stranger: ;-;
You: I knew it was bill!
You: *grabs shotgun and goes too bills*
You have disconnected


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on April 22, 2010, 09:50:02 am
I get these random MSN messages from people trying to get me to subscribe to webcam sites all the time.  The price I pay for having my contact info on public forums I guess.  I enjoy tormenting these people.  It's sad how they will stick to their scripts, my goal is to get them to either log off or block me.  So far I've achieved that goal twice.

[10:18] Conrad: hi
[10:18] Outlaw: hi
[10:19] Conrad: hi how are you today?
[10:19] Conrad: my name is kaylee I'm doing great today I'm 21 yrs old how old are you?
[10:19] Outlaw: ancient beyond the reckoning of all things
[10:19] Conrad: listen hun, I am just about to start my webcam show with jen, come chat me there in my chat room? We can cyber, I will get naked if u do..lol!
[10:20] Outlaw: so is Conrad your last name or are you a hemaphrodite?
[10:21] Conrad: I can show u how to watch free if u promise not to tell anyone else how to do it???PLEASE:-$
[10:29] Outlaw: so what's the deal? You're like an internet telemarketer?
[10:29] Conrad: im still here
[10:29] Outlaw: do they like email you the script and get you to message random people?
[10:29] Conrad: well since its free the law that u gotta be 18 (nudity involved), u have to sign up with a credit card for age verification! BUT .. Once you are inside, just clikc on "Webcams" let me know what name you use to sign in with so I know it is you babe! fill out the bottom of the page then fill out the next page as well and u can see me live for free!
[10:33] Outlaw: So you do realize that I can see your display is Conrad and not Kaylee right?
[10:33] Conrad: Please dont mention anything about that in the chatroom once u get in ok?:-$
[10:34] Outlaw: haha
[10:34] Outlaw: your secret will be safe with me
[10:34] Conrad: OH SHIT.. k I am late to start my show, I gotta get off msn...I will see ya inside my chatroom babe.. remember not to mention that I am upgrading u for free... You can use your msn name to sign in so i know it is you..
[10:35] Outlaw: whatever man, better luck on your next target
[10:35] Conrad: AUTO-RESPONSE: hey just in the middle of my free webcam show if you want to watch


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on April 22, 2010, 10:08:14 am
Haha.
The last time one of those messaged me, it told me Jenny (its "name") was the President of the United States and that a 98-year-old man with ED was "her type."

Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent in reconnaissance is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea. -"Shades of Grey"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on April 22, 2010, 10:23:44 am
I got one of those from a... "Jeremy" I think? It freaked me the fuck out. Then again I was 12.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 22, 2010, 03:06:27 pm
I get these random MSN messages from people trying to get me to subscribe to webcam sites all the time.  The price I pay for having my contact info on public forums I guess.  I enjoy tormenting these people.  It's sad how they will stick to their scripts, my goal is to get them to either log off or block me.  So far I've achieved that goal twice.

Huh. I always thought those were bots.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on April 22, 2010, 03:14:47 pm
Not all of them  :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on April 23, 2010, 04:11:18 am
Drew
There's always a way to put my penis in things
trust me
Me
That's why I carry a pocket knife.
Drew
for the panfetishist on the go


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on April 23, 2010, 04:30:50 am
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hullo
You: I am your mother
Stranger: No way, i thought my moher was out for dinner?
Stranger: Mum, get off your phone and socialise
You: I went to an internet cafe
Stranger: Yeah thought so
Stranger: Seriously mum, gorw up
You: The day people stop jerking off on chatroullette!
Stranger: Hahahaha
Stranger: Good call
You: Wait... you...
You: So that is why you are always late to dinner!
Stranger: me..?
Stranger: Because of Chartroullette? Yeah well, at least everything's out in the open now
Stranger: No more lies
You: Oh, you are just like your father!
You: Naughty child!
Stranger: Coming from someone who's out for dinner and decided to pop into an internet cafe to get her daily dose of Omegle
You: Oh you are so grounded!
Stranger: Good. I love being grounded
Stranger: Because then i disobey your grounding rules and I feel satisfied that I'm annoying you
You: You youth and your iphones and your Hd television and your black presidents and your chatroulletes and your 4chan and your internet pornography and your lazy fashion and your feminism and your prevention and your technology
Stranger: What's that got to do wih anything?
Stranger: Gosh mum, you're not even making sense
You: I knew I should have had that abortion! My child is such a fool!
Stranger: I wish I was adopted!! Then I wouldn't have to listen to a woman with no brains lecture me about my freaking youth
You: Such language!
You: You are getting a spanking when I come home!
Stranger: IF you ever get home, knowing you dad will have to go for a drive looking for you at 3 in the morning and will eventually find you in the cut with your dress pulled up to your waist
Stranger: in the gutter*
You: Thats it! No more candy for you young man!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on April 23, 2010, 12:24:19 pm
"What do you want goatboy?"
-Bill Hicks


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on April 23, 2010, 01:53:43 pm
"What do you want goatboy?"
-Bill Hicks
To not watch the Human Centipede - Humanity


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on April 25, 2010, 10:28:19 am
"When God made Mankind, he was just kidding."
-My Friend Sofie :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on April 25, 2010, 02:11:23 pm
Mr. Bidwell: There's a group of hippies in the parking lot again...
Saxton Hale: The scoundrels! What have they got their smelly ponytails in a twist about this time?
Mr Bidwell: Guns, sir. They're against them.
Saxton Hale: Fine. I'll beat them to death with my bare hands!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on April 26, 2010, 02:16:35 am
"Aww man this is just like team Fortress 2"- Ellis

I was looking in the DLC sound folders and found this one its for the badwater map I guess.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on April 26, 2010, 06:42:19 am
Colin Mockery from Whose Line is it Anyways:
"We'll return shortly to PBS' presentation of, Debbie the dislexic Ephelant"

or

"We'll return shortly to PBS' dislexic movie hour, Bitty Bitty Chang Chang"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on April 26, 2010, 09:07:55 am
"
An illustrated children's tale reminiscent of the works of Edward Gorey and Roald Dahl, for both children and adults.

Deep in The Land of Broodsarrow, just outside the village of Gneirwil, and high on a cliff overlooking the Everbleed Sea, there stands the faggiest gothic castle that any mortal being has ever seen. Living in this ancient faggy castle is none other than the well-renowned vampire, Dargoth Van Gloomfang. The citizenry of Broodsarrow sure has its share of faggy vampires, but old Dargoth has always been by far the faggiest of them all. That is, until a new vampire came to town. A younger, hippper vampire. One that emits such a grand amount of fagginess that one cannot help but be completely overwhelmed by his presence. Now Dargoth Van Gloomfang must figure out a way to out-shine this young newcomer if he wishes to ever reclaim his throne as... the faggiest vampire. "

-Product Description of Carlton Melick III (Children Book.) "The Faggiest Vampire.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on April 26, 2010, 09:55:53 am
Colin Mockery from Whose Line is it Anyways:
"We'll return shortly to PBS' presentation of, Debbie the dislexic Ephelant"

or

"We'll return shortly to PBS' dislexic movie hour, Bitty Bitty Chang Chang"
Colin is great.
"I'll be your lightning rod of hate!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on April 26, 2010, 10:37:12 am
I miss Whose Line...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on April 26, 2010, 11:14:22 pm
From One vs. All (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=35&t=6564)
Quote from: Crowstone
Quote from: Mystify
Dragons are more intelligent than people. At least, the old ones like Gornia are.

>Wei: It is no longer time for violence.  We must settle this the peaceful, mathematical way.

EXTREME DEATH CALCULUS
Find the limit of how much pain your opponent can take.
As x approaches 5

(I would say to calculate the maximum but find the limit is such a better pun)

Edit:
Quote from: Mystify
Quote from: Crowstone
Wei: Apply Chain Rule to Lava to calculate its speed.
fast


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 27, 2010, 07:08:03 pm
"Fat people are full of toys. Go get some!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on April 28, 2010, 02:11:47 am
"You know what I miss about pants? The way it lifts and cradles" -Jack and Daxter.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Flying Teapot on April 28, 2010, 12:03:50 pm
connnnn starr: well see, for awhile back in the day, my old clanmates and i had this weird habit
connnnn starr: of referring to every person, place, or thing, as either "AIDS" or "heroin"
connnnn starr: don't ask me why or how we started it, but it just sorta became a thing
[WDZ] CleverCheshire: we say aids when we want to end the conversation
connnnn starr: hmm, that'd work in bars i bet
[WDZ] CleverCheshire: ahaha
connnnn starr: "aw cmon baby gurl just gimme the digits you ain't gotta promise anythin"
connnnn starr: "no seriously i'm not interested just go find someone else to bother"
connnnn starr: "awww cmon baby i just wann"     "AIDS."   "...."
connnnn starr: curtain closed

I love people on Steam.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on April 28, 2010, 12:37:25 pm
Me describing facebook to my friend:

Me: "Facebook is like a Mad Asian Hooker with Porn Star Boobs, with a Vagina that smells of Honey.... Oh its addicting alright."
My Friend: "Hah that an overstatement."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 28, 2010, 06:52:21 pm
The power of flight, hypnosis, a magic bag of holding, the ability to diffuse any fight, telekenisis, she can speak to the wind and the animals and is a god amongst creatures... Some kind of wierd DnD elven mage or badguy? No... Mary Fucking Poppins. Thats Who. What a fucking badass!

A facebook status of a mate of mine.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on April 30, 2010, 08:52:17 am
The power of flight, hypnosis, a magic bag of holding, the ability to diffuse any fight, telekenisis, she can speak to the wind and the animals and is a god amongst creatures... Some kind of wierd DnD elven mage or badguy? No... Mary Fucking Poppins. Thats Who. What a fucking badass!

A facebook status of a mate of mine.

That reminds me of this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T5_0AGdFic

"Supercalifragilisticexpiealidocious."  The Vandals.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on April 30, 2010, 10:02:28 am
- Stop wearing my dresses!
- But my legs and butt look so great in them!
- D:<

My sister and her boyfriend.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zog on April 30, 2010, 04:30:51 pm
<friend> Hey! Nice car!
<douchebag in the Lexus who just cut her off> Thanks
<friend> Looks like it's loaded. It have all the options?
<db> Um ...yeah?
<friend> ...oh, looks like they forgot to include turn signals ...asshole.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on April 30, 2010, 05:03:32 pm
<friend> Hey! Nice car!
<douchebag in the Lexus who just cut her off> Thanks
<friend> Looks like it's loaded. It have all the options?
<db> Um ...yeah?
<friend> ...oh, looks like they forgot to include turn signals ...asshole.
Awesome...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on May 03, 2010, 05:59:37 pm
MLE says:
 freeeee fud
Hailfax says:
 YES
MLE says:
 xD
 i'm taking off my pants
 it's hot.
Hailfax says:
 ........


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on May 03, 2010, 07:35:38 pm
Hailsis was on wrong chat. :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on May 03, 2010, 07:54:44 pm
Or was she.


;U


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on May 05, 2010, 08:57:15 pm
"They say I'm insane... Do YOU think I'm insane Alfred?"

"Not at all sir, why you're the very model of sanity... Oh, and I took the liberty of pressing your tights and putting away your exploding gas balls."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on May 06, 2010, 08:24:43 pm
Subbed version of Code Geass: LeLouch of the Rebellion At least the subbed version I'm watching:

Jeremiah Gottwald: IMA FIRING MY PEWPEWLAZORS

Snickered when I first saw it then double checked it and laughed out loud when I really saw what it said.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on May 08, 2010, 09:16:42 pm
Me
Stumbleupon just wanted to know my gender, then said "This will help us find the best websites for you!"
I feel sexually profiled.

Stephen
lol
now all you get are pictures of boobs and cars


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on May 09, 2010, 01:10:46 am
"Always assume there is at least one more task to do. If you don't then there will be one"
-Me

It is my logic when working.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on May 13, 2010, 05:16:25 am
"I love hygenic, well maintained toilets. And by that I mean I slipped in piss."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on May 13, 2010, 12:28:59 pm
"You can lick the Glomworm" *Aka Stacy nickname for her Clitoris*
-Passage from the Novel: The Haunted Vagina.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on May 13, 2010, 02:40:02 pm
*covers face*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: 2ndPhelps on May 13, 2010, 04:37:26 pm
That's messed up.

"What's this thing you call breathing?"- My swim coach John


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on May 13, 2010, 04:41:12 pm
"If you become the king then I'll carve your spleen out."
-My best friend who tried to state how unlikely it was for me to become prom king.
(during the same prom which I became king of. (http://www.thezombiehunters.com/forum/Smileys/default/rolleyes.gif) )


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on May 14, 2010, 06:56:58 am
"Your Wife is suffering from CCD"
"WTF is that?!"
"Cock Craving Disorder"

-Passage from the film Cop Out between Tracy Morgan and Sean William Scott



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on May 14, 2010, 12:15:09 pm
I hated that movie...

"... sorta like cheese whiz... it tastes disgusting... but I LOVE it..." ~My Choir Teacher Mr. Mitchell referring to High School Musical and it's sequel.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on May 14, 2010, 02:10:32 pm
"Dont take shit from fools, and you judge a person by whats in 'em, not how they look. And you do the right thing. You gotta be one of the good guys son, 'cause theres way too many of the bad."-John Custer from Preacher (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preacher_(comics))


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on May 15, 2010, 04:21:09 am
Preacher fucking rules sir!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on May 15, 2010, 10:42:32 pm
I join meme nao!
(http://i42.tinypic.com/mmbndh.jpg)
Am I doing it right?
nooo, you silly cheez! its supposed to be glasses, not glass!
Good point.
(http://i41.tinypic.com/fxb6z8.jpg)

I fucking lawled.

My buddy Jake, while we were all eating "TRIPLE BACONATORS!"-Man, this I think this thing is turning me into a T-rex.
Me, while wiping some grease off of my burger- I feel like it's turning me into someone from Iowa.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on May 15, 2010, 11:27:23 pm
"ANOINT MY PHALLUS WITH THE BLOOD OF THE FALLEN!"


Also friends attempt to guilt me:
 Him: hey man what u up to
 Me: nothing. gonna take it easy tonight
 Him: really im at johnnys right now with a few people
 Me:thats cool. if i didn't feel like garbage id probaly join you guys. but ifeel like garbage so i'm gonna have to pass
 Him:k whatever but remember i still can feel like u do and still go for another night like we used to before

lol jackass


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: SharpArcher01 on May 15, 2010, 11:42:37 pm
My friends and I are the same way. Even if you can't hang out, some trash talk wil take place.

-pick up phone-
Friend: Yo, what's up slut? Come hang out.
Me: Tomorrow man, I'm finishing finals work.
Friend: Okay man, keep being an asshole.
Me: You too.
-end call-



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Major Cobalt on May 16, 2010, 04:06:38 pm
"The only thing manlier than drinking wine coolers is killing a lion with your teeth while strangling a bear."

My friend Jeremy loves malt beverages, especially Mike's Hard Lemonade, and our friend Christine's mom gives him shit for drinking "wine coolers." That was Jeremy's response.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on May 16, 2010, 04:13:09 pm
"Get over here you pussy! 'Tis only burning napalm."
-My friend... again...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on May 16, 2010, 07:13:02 pm
From MS Paint Adventures:

DAVESPRITE: dude our shit is SAFE
DAVE: so safe
DAVESPRITE: gonna sleep pretty sound tonight
DAVESPRITE: with that big fucking payload of safety you just got dropped on us
DAVESPRITE: gonna be all huggin my pillow and shit
DAVESPRITE: grinning like a goddamn bear full of honey
DAVE: safer than some flintstone vitamins in a bottle
DAVE: keep twisting junior all you get is clicks
DAVESPRITE: asshole thinks its candy
DAVESPRITE: doesnt even know he just stepped on a security rake and got a face full of fucking safety


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on May 17, 2010, 03:51:17 am
Violets are red
Roses are blue
Open up photoshop
And fuck with the hue


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on May 17, 2010, 10:18:34 am
Volcanoes are a clear argument against intelligent design... what kind of moron designs a planet for his beloved creations and fills it with big explody fire mountains? D:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on May 17, 2010, 05:02:05 pm
A water god. Who'se favorite creations are actually sulfur-feeding extremophiles who live in abyssal volcanoes.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on May 17, 2010, 05:44:22 pm
This is true. While not the exact phrase I used, my answer was basically 'for the lulz'.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lash2828 on May 18, 2010, 01:32:38 pm
Prevent CO2 emissions, breathe less.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on May 19, 2010, 06:05:13 pm
"Confession under torture is highly suspect."

"Well, torture of suspects is highly awesome."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on May 21, 2010, 11:09:51 am
Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over, 'conquered' if you will, by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

-Kent Brockman


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on May 22, 2010, 05:00:19 pm
Quote
FRICTION MAN sagt (00:23):
 but srsly, she seems pretty cool and thinks I'm funny, thinking about asking her if she wants to go on a date or hang out or something
 except I'm too much of a pussy :v
Cass' sagt (00:25):
 can't help you there xP
Cass' sagt (00:26):
 but hey... maybe being a pussy will help you... if she's a lesbian that might be attractive to her ;P
 
FRICTION MAN sagt (00:26):
 :I
 if she's a lesbian I need spy cameras
Cass' sagt (00:30):
 not hard ti get those nowadays xD
 installing them where you can see here though...
FRICTION MAN sagt (00:30):
 and finding out where she lives and stuff :U
Cass' sagt (00:31):
 time to prove how much of a ninja you are ;P
FRICTION MAN sagt (00:32):
 pffft, if I were that good I'd just disguise magicks myself into a punk/goth girl and hit on her in a bar :U
Cass' sagt (00:32):
 lol
FRICTION MAN sagt (00:34):
 then lesbian double ended dildo humpings would ensue :v
Cass' sagt (00:35):
 uh-huh.... you don't need to discribe your thoughts further 
FRICTION MAN sagt (00:35):
 I'm sure you can imagine boobie jiggles on your own :U
Cass' sagt (00:36):
 yes
FRICTION MAN sagt (00:49):
 My ISP needs to go eat a dick
Cass' sagt (00:49):
 lol?
FRICTION MAN sagt (00:50):
 I've been getting randomly disconnected all day
 so choking on one would be fine too
Cass' sagt (00:51):
 dicks as a problemsolver...
 i usually use fire...
FRICTION MAN sagt (00:52):
 the good thing about using dicks is that even if it doesn't work you can cheer yourself up :U
Cass' sagt (00:53):
 looool


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on May 22, 2010, 05:06:53 pm
"Maybe we shouldn't be using an automatic for Russian roulette, Andy"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on May 24, 2010, 12:29:19 am
"its the best gaver of all in the world ...with the online ITS THE BEST OF EVERY ALL GAME"

Some guy on the Red Dead Redemption facebook fan page. I think it should go on the case.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on May 25, 2010, 09:53:32 am
"My balls and humanity's doom, how the hell are they related?"

- Bando of Elfen Lied


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on May 25, 2010, 10:16:55 am
"He was so deadly, in fact, that his enemies would go blind from overexposure to pure Awesomeness!!"
-Kung Fu Panda Intro

That is one of the most hilarious things I've seen dreamworks do.

"If I ever get old, strap me to a missile and shoot me at the communists."
-Wray(snowflakes webcomic)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on May 25, 2010, 09:03:56 pm
"Hello, Rent-A-Goon. Breaking stones and throwing bones since 2050, how can I help?"

...

"Wait a minute..."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on May 26, 2010, 01:23:14 am
Dean: "Yeah Godzilla vs Mothra was my all time favorite Godzilla Movie... Better then the Original... He on the other hand like the remake."
Kid "Eck!"

-Quote from Supernatural.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on May 26, 2010, 07:21:21 am
In memorial of Towel Day (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Towel_Day)

"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."

- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on May 26, 2010, 11:42:19 am
"This is the police! Come out with your pants down!"

- Police Officer, Elfen Lied

I have no idea if that's an error in the translation or not, but it sure is funny.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on May 26, 2010, 10:07:17 pm
"At some point in your life, you're gonna have to stop and ask yourself the ultimate question: "This business of... being such a fucking prick, what is it really getting me?" Huh?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on May 28, 2010, 12:32:32 am
"DO I LOOK LIKE SOME KIND OF WHORE?! THIS ISN'T FOR THE LOVE OF RAY J, YOU IGNORANT BITCH."

Natalie Dee comics make me smile.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on May 28, 2010, 11:11:11 pm
My friend Ryan, on the death of Gary Coleman.

"What if he died from a unique kind of stroke and the doctor said 'Well, different strokes for different folks, I guess."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on May 30, 2010, 04:43:04 am
"See me in the headlines
Manipulate your simple minds
So put your hands up and praise
I'm your god and you're my slave"
-Murderdolls - People hate me

At least 10 years ago, such lyrics would have caused some sort of outrage amongst American parents.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on May 30, 2010, 05:00:05 am
Not really, no, especially not from a shit band that's only popular because the drummer from Slipknot has something to do with it. Honestly, in America, it's pretty much the same as everywhere else (no matter what Fox News says). Some people are stupid and some people are not.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on May 30, 2010, 05:05:32 am
I'll pretend like I didn't hear you insult one of my favorite bands.

What I was talking about is pretty much conservative parents going crazy about the music.
I mean come on! People went crazy over the lyrics of Marylin Manson for fucks sake! When it comes to "gruesome lyrics" then Manson is overrated.

And no actually, Americas "crazy right winger" rate is pretty much sky high in comparison to most west-European countries.
Also: Slipknot is overrated. So I don't care if one of the members of murderdolls is a member of slipknot.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on May 30, 2010, 05:15:29 am
As a rule I hate bands that attempt to get fans by being "edgy" more than "talented".

I mean come on! People went crazy over the lyrics of Marylin Manson for fucks sake! When it comes to "gruesome lyrics" then Manson is overrated.

Ever hear the term "Flavor of the week"? The hype around Marylin Manson exploded because the news attempted to link his lyrics to the Columbine Shooting, because that is what the news does.

Actually, scratch all that, I forgot that Europeans have the best view of the American way of life in general, my bad.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on May 30, 2010, 05:24:28 am
Yes, Sorry that America haven't exactly been very good at giving a respectable self-image in the recent decades.

Stuff like... Oh I dunno... being gay was illegal in several states all the way up to 2004(amongst other things) really doesn't help us respect America.


"I love America more than any other country in this world; and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually."
-James Baldwin


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on May 30, 2010, 05:30:01 am
Yeah bro? I'm gonna need to bust out my notepad here. Get me done some LERNIN.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on May 30, 2010, 10:51:30 am
In general, people get their proverbial panties in a bunch over anything and everything that is popular, because it gives them the most attention.

Harry Potter couldn't be any more innocent if he coddled 15 baby rabbits in every scene; These insane assholes disagree in the most insane way (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YfJZxAai9w)

On topic:

"The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane."

-Mark Twain


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on May 30, 2010, 11:59:18 am
New Mexico is pretty much a haven for mad scientists trying to choke the universe into submission.
-Cracked


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on May 31, 2010, 05:53:47 am
"Total time logged in: 15 days, 15 hours and 15 minutes."


"Goliath Bird Eating Spider
It's frequently described as "larger than a dinner plate," presumably because spider-scientists don't want to freak people out with the significantly more relevant "big enough to fit over your face." It's a foot across and, when it's in the mood, brings down entire birds and eats them. It doesn't make webs, or leap great distances--it just slowly sneaks up behind things and jumps on them. Yes, just like in your nightmares. Go ahead and check behind you. We'll wait."

-Cracked.com - article: 6 Endangered Species That Aren't Endangered Enough


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on May 31, 2010, 01:01:39 pm
"Read Hamlet! It'll book-punch your enemies!" -Unskippable


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on May 31, 2010, 03:56:22 pm
"STOP GOSSIPPING WHILE YOU STILL HAVE FRIENDS!!!"
- What I want to scream at my mom every time she starts telling everybody's secrets around.
It drives me crazy.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on May 31, 2010, 08:33:28 pm
As a rule I hate bands that attempt to get fans by being "edgy" more than "talented".

what about bands that are both?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 01, 2010, 01:00:36 am
We'll burn that bridge when we cross it, yeah?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 03, 2010, 09:12:17 am
"Religion is polarizing and ludicrous, but despite what angsty atheists say, it does more good than harm. Look at the numbers: For every firebombed abortion clinic, there are 126 young Catholic boys getting all the sex they want."
-Cracked.com


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on June 04, 2010, 02:07:06 pm
Minami Shimada: Why are you here, Mr. Nishimura?
Soichi Nishimura: I'm here to help you guys improve your grades, since you're all retarded.

- Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on June 05, 2010, 09:42:39 pm
TeeZee says (9:41 PM):
 Teezee: He changes lives


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on June 05, 2010, 10:48:43 pm
Hell yeah I do ;D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on June 05, 2010, 11:42:35 pm
TeeZee says (11:38 PM):
 HE'S IN FUCKING EVERYTHING
TeeZee says (11:41 PM):
 YO
 TOUCH MY ABS


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on June 05, 2010, 11:53:17 pm
wow is this msn or wut?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: SharpArcher01 on June 06, 2010, 12:16:36 am
This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.” -Lionel Hutz


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on June 07, 2010, 09:00:30 pm
"Compromise? There's no such service in Russia."

- Character from Hetalia: Axis Powers


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on June 07, 2010, 09:29:00 pm
"If I had the Nocturnus time machine, I would use it to kill Thursday in the womb to save the world from Blessthefall, Miss May I and Underoath."- Sergeant D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on June 08, 2010, 03:20:31 am
I walked away from my computer to get some print outs I come back and have this in one of my sentences
"I’mma bee rocking that ass up a tree?
MAGIC EVERYWHERE UP IN THIS BITCH, FUCKING MAGIC HOW DOES IT WORK?!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on June 08, 2010, 01:59:09 pm
Got a text on my phone from a strange number this morning:

"Stranger: Yall coming tonight?

Me: Who is this?

Stranger: Your sister

Me: I don't have a sister that I'm aware of.

Stranger: Alright. Love you too."

At this point I'm half tempted to ask for the address of where to show up to. :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on June 08, 2010, 05:03:44 pm
Mutton shouldf alwayf be protected.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: dudesomebody on June 08, 2010, 07:12:19 pm
As our enemies have found we can reason like men, so now let us show them we can fight like men also.
   -Thomas Jefferson

I'm thinking about having this engraved on a gun, it sounds like a good quote for one.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on June 08, 2010, 07:40:12 pm
That it does.

"May those who love us, love us. And if they do not love us, then may God turn their hearts. And if he cannot turn their hearts, then may he turn their ankles. So we may know them by their limping."

~Irish Blessing


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on June 09, 2010, 09:08:08 am
"Genocide without asking the reason why!"

-Excel


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 09, 2010, 10:43:54 am
"Genocide without asking the reason why!"

-Excel

Excel saga=Randomness in awesome format.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on June 09, 2010, 10:51:05 am
Quote from: dudesomebody
This is what I love about this forum, one person can say they find Lovecraft boring (or some of his stuff, I will be fair) and everyone doesn't jump his shit. brilliant.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 09, 2010, 10:58:05 am
I thought I was going to have my head ripped off when I said that Revenge of the fallen was disappointing...
But no.  ;D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on June 09, 2010, 11:08:41 am
Excel saga=Randomness in awesome format.

And to think I just found that out today.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 09, 2010, 01:39:30 pm
I thought I was going to have my head ripped off when I said that Revenge of the fallen was disappointing...
But no.  ;D

Probably because everyone knows that movie blew more than the first one.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 09, 2010, 01:49:00 pm
Yes, but not where I live.
Everyone in my closest friend circle and my elder brother would disagree heavily. Way too fanboyish. "liek, thr ar r0bots n chicks n explosions"...
for some reason, mentioning objectivity is bad...  but okay on everything else...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: dudesomebody on June 09, 2010, 09:54:07 pm
I..have been quoted in the quote thread *sniffles* am so happy  :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 10, 2010, 12:40:01 am
So, my friends are high.

Me: Stephen. If you were stuck on a deserted island with Ryan, and there was absolutely no way to find food, would you eat him?
Stephen:*He thinks for a few moments* I think I would have to.
Ryan: What the FUCK, man!?
Me:Ryan. If you were stuck on a deserted island with Stephen, and there was absolutely no way to find food, would you eat yourself?
Ryan: You'd better fucking believe it!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 10, 2010, 09:13:00 am
Me leaving a random comment on youtube about a year ago:
"Bleach is better.
Simple.
And YES i have watched BOTH shows and i LIKE Naruto. But i think Bleach is better."


Nothing more, nothing less.
I even notice that my sentence structure and grammar have improved in a year.

Then recently:
"No freaking way.Your just another fanboy.Tell me one fucking reason that bleach after episode 60 can beat Naruto.The plot is plain simple and same as second arc,Ichigo goes to save everyone,he loses a fight then goes Super sayan and fucks everything,nothing less nothing more.It had 25 fights going on at the same time because tite kubo is bored to write some plot,thats why all his other manga's suck.Its just a second DBZ.My favourite anime is not Naruto,but plz bleach cant compare "

0_o
What?

me:
"Wow, you are calling ME a fanboy?
I simply said "I like both but think Bleach is better" and you go on a bitch fest.
And actually, after episode 60, there is every way that bleach is better than Naruto. Hell, even the FILLERS are better! When it comes to the story of Bleach, don't talk smack, because you have clearly no clue what you talk about!
But is Naruto bad? No.
Did I say it was? No. "


Closet-fanboy:
"Well I would call "Bleach is better.Simple" not a thing that a non fanboy would say.My favourite anime is code geass,I watch many more but hell no I stopped reading bleach at last chapter.Truly boring and aizen shit "I khew that you would do that"or something..Hell just dont watch fillers,nobody does.Oh and I find it more interesting on an anime to fight with an evil organization(which is not super cool)but cooler than "I will save Failhime!I will go super sayan unconsiously!"... "

Ok, I noticed that this guy likes Death note and he dares to say "Truly boring and aizen shit "I khew that you would do that"or something." ?
That is EVERYTHING Death Note consists of!
I now sensed a flamewar arising.

Me realizing that since its on, civility is no longer needed:

Me:
""last chapter"?
Bleach is ongoing. And try to make sense of your sentences.
And please, stop with the "super sayain" bullshit.
Not ONE anime with "superpowers" doesn't have a powerup.
And in Naruto they aren't fighting an evil organization. It is all about Sasuke being a destructive emo BITCH!
PS: Code Geass is overhyped. Good. But overhyped. "


Nerd war, yaaay!

Mr fanboy:
"Ongoing,but it comes every week.At the last manga chapter which was out the previous week,I stopped reading because it was all talk,saying how awesome Aizen is,Urahara,Ichigos dad and Yoruichi getting owned,not even a showed shikai of ichigos dad or bankai from urahara...And Yoruichi has a bankai too,but tite kubo keeps it hidden from us for money reasons,you khow how will he continue bleach after that?
Narutos goal is for sasuke,everyone's else is to beat madara... "


Since probably no one here watches/reads Bleach, I'll just say that at this point it was clear to me that this dude had been reading Bleach with a prejudice and failed to notice several things.

Me:
"All talk?
It was barely mention. In difference from in all other similar animes, Aizen didn't stand around and brag all day. Instead he kicked ass and left.
And what, you wanted a cliche "instant powerup"?
Money reasons? What money reasons? Please show me how that logic works.
How will he continue Bleach?
You are unobservant. Didn't you notice that Ichigo didn't go alone?
And didn't you notice that Ichigo's dad isn't down for the count? "


And now came the bullshit that made me actually give a shit.(so far I had been bothering to reply out of boredom since I don't spend time seeking out fanboys)

"Okay,there is no need for me to fall to your level or try to herebly convince you,you're mind is stuck on Bleach.Furthermore about the money,what can you not understand?If Ichigo defeats Aizen,Kubo will have no plot to go with and he will suck.That is why he tries to slow down the plot,read some reviews:S
No more bleach=No more money.It's easy if you use your logic too.
Whatever even If i continue to brag here with you nothing will change.So have a nice day,and good summer. "


Just... just... it hit me that this was quite obviously not someone over the age of 15.
Here it was just logic fail... also notice how he claims that he is somehow "above" me, even though HE replied to ME in what was a BITCHFEST of a fanboy comment.

Then after my next comment he goes on to babble about how he "can't argue with me" and such...

Just another day on the internet. now I remember why I spend less time on Youtube...
And no, I am not denying being a fan of the series nor will I deny to any of you that I am a geek for anime/manga.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on June 10, 2010, 11:34:32 am
*patpat* It's okay BB, he's just a loser who doesn't understand.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 10, 2010, 01:04:09 pm
To be fair, most long animes are ridiculously fucking boring because it's "New tough guy, better than last tough guy, better than good guy. Good guy fights, loses, then is suddenly stronger than he was before for little to no reason.

Don't get me wrong, I usually think that power ups are badass to behold and all that, but I get so bored with anime so easily now. I mean, there's no entertainment without conflict, yeah, but conflict is boring when it's the same every time.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on June 10, 2010, 02:15:21 pm
Ah, nevermind. You said most, and was going to try and argue against it but that prevents me from doing so.
But... Just curious, how long of an anime are you talking about?

To the second point, Toradora! and Spice and Wolf (The way you say conflict, I see it as action, or combat, like plenty of violence. Just to be a bit clear on my reasoning).


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 10, 2010, 02:23:31 pm
I mean long animes like Bleach and Naruto + spinoffs, the "No foreseeable end" stuff with like 600 episodes. I mean, I watch stuff like Trigun or Cowboy Bebop and say "I want more!", but then I watch stuff like Bleach and say "Oh god it will never end ever."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on June 10, 2010, 02:40:26 pm
To be fair, most long animes are ridiculously fucking boring because it's "New tough guy, better than last tough guy, better than good guy. Good guy fights, loses, then is suddenly stronger than he was before for little to no reason.

This.

I just can't get into longer shows. Give me my little 13 to 26 episode series and I will be content.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 10, 2010, 02:47:00 pm
The thing with Bleach is that there is actually no "good guy beats bad guy, new bad guy beats good guy, good guy becomes stronger and beats bad guy, rinse, repeat".
Since it is actually the same bad guy all the time.
So far it have actually just been "good guy is beaten. Then he is beaten by previous dude's subordinates and THEN powers up and beats subordinates one by one." The main bad guys is currently making most other long-term villains from other animes look like harmless puppies.
But in difference from other animes, in Bleach, the bad guy isn't a complete retard and winds up having over 9000 battles which he constantly loses until he is vanquished in the end. *cough*Inuyasha*cough*
But the thing is: Mr closet-fanboy said that "Bleach can't compare to Naruto" and that Kubo Tite is "dragging out" the series. That... is absolutely retarded. Even if you hate that type of anime.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 10, 2010, 02:49:16 pm
Okay, "Good guy is beaten by bad guy, good guy levels up and beats bad guy, bad guy comes back later and it happens again".


Sorry.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on June 10, 2010, 02:49:37 pm
Log: Ah, that makes more sense. But at least the ones that are short and good don't continue on and possibly have a chance of messing up.

BB: Total spoiler on an anime I wasn't going to watch :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on June 10, 2010, 03:15:25 pm
And that is why I don't comment on youtube videos. Or take anything the commentors say seriously.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 10, 2010, 03:19:24 pm
Log: Ah, that makes more sense. But at least the ones that are short and good don't continue on and possibly have a chance of messing up.

Which is why I prefer them.


"But if you wear shutter shades, then they think you look like a douchebag, and they come up to you and say 'you look like a douchebag for wearing shutter shades', and I don't want to have to deal with telling people to not talk to my friend like that."
"You won't have to. I'll just say 'You look like a douchebag, but broken up into little lines because I'm wearing shutter shades.'"
"...Order me a pair."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on June 10, 2010, 10:24:41 pm
... I never thought about it that way Log.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tanaj on June 11, 2010, 02:57:19 am
You're really bothered by YouTube comments?  :laugh:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on June 11, 2010, 02:06:51 pm
N***a Moments: - noun
Perpetual conflict between n***as over trivial or ignorant things.

N***a Synthesis: - noun
Perpetual bond between n***as over trivial or ignorant things.

"Now when a n***a moment collides with n***a synthesis, you get a complete fucking disaster."
- Stinkmeaner

Most lines said from The Boondocks are quotable.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on June 13, 2010, 01:25:50 am
"Shut your fat ass, Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you fucked!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 13, 2010, 01:28:21 am
I just tried to "Like" that quote.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tori-saurus-rex on June 14, 2010, 03:55:23 pm
"Shut your fat ass, Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you fucked!"


Why does that sound familiar?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 14, 2010, 03:57:15 pm
The Boondock Saints


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tori-saurus-rex on June 14, 2010, 03:59:38 pm
There you go XD
It was going to bother me if someone didn't help me out quickly.
It's been a while since I've watched that.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on June 14, 2010, 08:31:07 pm
i really liked the cinematographyt in the second one, great use of filters and angles. Way to use your space, Mr.Duffy!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on June 15, 2010, 03:19:27 pm
Best thing I've ever read on formspring-

Q: sexual fantasies?
A: You're a Mexican apple thief, I run the cider house; I catch you hiding behind the stonemill, you chase me into the tasting room -- oh, if there's a crow in there, fine, if not...I can live with it. Anyway, we're all alone, you don't speak a word of English, but you teach me more about hard cider than I ever learned from my fermenting exams. And our passion is so loud that they can hear it all the way in the distillery!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on June 15, 2010, 03:21:50 pm
Isn't that from Scrubs?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tori-saurus-rex on June 15, 2010, 03:26:54 pm
Yeah.... apples totally turn me on too.

"Don’t ask for my opinion then. I said congrats on the car, just saying nobody’s panties are getting wet from a fucking Honda Accord."
- Shit My Dad Says

Sometimes it reminds me of my grandmother only more obscene..... but not by much.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on June 15, 2010, 03:28:37 pm
Isn't that from Scrubs?

Aw, seriously? Damn...I thought she was being clever and original xD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 15, 2010, 10:22:41 pm
"I'm waiting until now to say it because, like, you know, you can't just fucking say that shit out of nowhere, people are gonna freak out, drop bombs on like fucking cities and shit, and I'm like "I don't want bloodstained hands, alright?'"

Poooooooooottty mouth.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Raryn on June 15, 2010, 10:27:18 pm
So, I watch Deadliest Warrior, and there was an awesome quote tonight.

"It's like the apocalypse, that you hold in your hand." Description of the Celtic Burda Club after crushing 8 faces in.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 16, 2010, 05:46:55 am
"A wild Sawa-Chan appears!"
~Yui from K-ON season 2.

That was just so fucking random.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 16, 2010, 05:34:34 pm
I cried because I had no feet
Until I met a girl who wore this shit (http://www.regretsy.com/2010/06/16/shoeless-in-seattle/)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on June 17, 2010, 05:25:09 pm
Friend: at the fucking highest peak in Yosemite.
Me: DO A FLIP.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on June 17, 2010, 11:39:55 pm
Taliesin Jaffe (Hellsing Ultimate Commentary): I'm sure I've said this on commentaries before, but vampires are all about sexual oppression, because every vampire story we have usually involves whatever sexual taboo of the time...and The Hunger is all about the perversion of wanting to have sex with David Bowie. I think we're all a little bit that way.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tori-saurus-rex on June 18, 2010, 02:26:30 pm
..... I don't know what to say about that Alex. Other than yes, we are all a little bit that way.

Me: "I love you <3"
Mum: "Fuck off."

She knows I only say it when I'm abotu to ask for something right after XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 18, 2010, 02:34:01 pm
*mom calling me randomly on any day I don't have any work to do*
Mom: "Hi".
Me: "What are you about to demand of me today?"

There are multiple versions of my answer depending on how well I am enjoying my spare time or just my general mood.
Though they all center around the words "demand of me"...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 18, 2010, 09:12:13 pm
Today, I was working with one of my managers, and a girl walked near us and made eye contact.

Me: Hey, can I help you with anything today?
Bitchy girl: Tch, ugh. *Rolls her eyes and walks away*

A few minutes later, she came back.

BG: Where do you guys keep your hair dye?
Me: Tch, ugh. It's over here. *I roll my eyes, flip my hair over, and stalk away past the girl*

I came back later and my manager was wiping tears of laughter off her face.

Later on, my manager was finishing her break just as I started mine. I grabbed a magazine and started eating some popcorn, when suddenly, out of nowhere, she looks up from her news paper and says "We need to move away, Aaron."

I just very slowly stopped chewing and said "... Wut"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on June 19, 2010, 11:51:18 am
So, rather than answer my question, you shout that I'm wrong when I've addressed all your points and you don't bother refuting me, just hinge on bending an analogy that doesn't relate to the main point. Nice strategy, bro.

Me arguing with an idiot on the interwebs, because sometimes I mistake a troll as being an actual person. :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 19, 2010, 11:54:39 am
Did it happen to be a "discussion" about religion and/or science?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on June 19, 2010, 11:57:13 am
Why yes, yes it did. :P

Sometimes those people seem like they're willing to actually listen to an answer, then they cover their ears and scream. Ironically he called me a fanatic WHILE TYPING LIKE THIS. Trolls make me giggle once I realize what they are.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 19, 2010, 12:07:10 pm
Yeah, I've had a lot of those.
So many are completely identical so they are quickly forgotten.
But I remember debating this one Muslim(who didn't TYPE LIKE THIS for once and actually had a respectful tone towards me) about the Muhammed drawings being offending or not.
I clearly proved that the drawer of the caricatures did NOT aim to insult Islam but rather to point out how terrorists use their religion as "spiritual ammunition".
I basically did prove that and he AGREED!
...
But apparently it was offending anyways... -.-
Just... gah...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on June 19, 2010, 12:26:31 pm
So this guy listened to your arguments, changed his opinion accordingly, but didn't go as far as agreeing on every point with you and you go "Just... gah..." ? I hope it's your personal slang for "Wow this is a very rational person!" or you're just being childish!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 19, 2010, 12:37:27 pm
"This guy made a drawing and it offends me because it is aimed at Islam".
"No, it is aimed at terrorists and how they use Islam to justify their actions."
"Okay. But is still offends me."
(this is heavily abridged)

Am I childish for being puzzled that he basically chooses that it offends him for (now) no reason?
The reason for him taking offense was "this is aimed at Islam". When I get him to change that opinion but he still finds it offending simply because "well, because" then I think I have the full right to be in stunned silence.
Its kind of like when a child refuses to taste some food because he thinks it tastes bad and then, after tasting and realizing it didn't taste bad, he just says it still tastes bad.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on June 19, 2010, 12:54:23 pm
Its kind of like when a child refuses to taste some food because he thinks it tastes bad and then, after tasting and realizing it didn't taste bad, he just says it still tastes bad.
Almost. but not quite. I think to make the analogy fit a bit better would be to say you're trying to feed a kid something he doesn't want and he says "I don't like it because it tastes like broccoli" Then once you show him it doesn't taste like broccoli he says "Well, I still don't like the taste of it".

You're really only helping him understand why he found it offensive, it just wasn't for the reason he thought it was at first. These sorts of arguments are delicate because they're treated as though they're black and white with no in between.

Another example would be flag burning in America as a sign of free speech. I understand and appreciate the symbolism behind it, but personally I'm still slightly annoyed when I see it. There's not a dichotomy in these issues where you can only feel one way or the other.

Not trying to get off topic here. >.>


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on June 19, 2010, 12:57:29 pm
Something can be offensive without being intended to offend, all that's required is that it did. You're demanding that the guy conforms to your opinion without nuance. The drawings themselves may have come from innocent intentions, they have hurt some people's feelings, and some of the people who enjoyed them did so because they saw it as flattering their islamophobic opinion. Whether it was justified or not is irrelevant, that this is what it resulted in is the fact that matters.
I find your position too rigid, and the fact that you consider the other's attitude wrong when he doesn't strictly conform to it doesn't speak highly or your ability to discuss rationally. You're like a child who throws his ice cream away because it doesn't have the same shape as the one on the picture.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 19, 2010, 01:03:58 pm
I think we have de-railed so much that I'm not going to bother to make my argument.
Case closed.


Friend: "I know how you can tell if someone is creationist."
Other friend: "How?"
Friend: "Check your pants. Does the logo say "ID"?"
Me: *laughing at the unexpected answer*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 19, 2010, 01:55:16 pm
BB: This guy is dumb.
AM & Dodom: Not really, and this is why.
BB: Whatever, we need to get back on topic so I'm not going to post my argument in response but trust me it was totally awesome and you guys were gonna feel sooooo dumb.

   -This thread.

Also, just for the record, the guy that loves to jump down people's throats about how their beliefs are so stupid is WAAAAAY more of a dumb/jack ass than the guy that just wants to believe what makes him feel better.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on June 19, 2010, 01:59:53 pm
And this is why Log wins the internet.


"Ed Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50 - 50 chance of living, though there's only a 10 percent chance of that."

- Naked Gun


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on June 19, 2010, 02:01:57 pm
Log is the internet.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 19, 2010, 02:08:14 pm
Log is the internet.
Yes, the better part of it at least.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 19, 2010, 02:09:00 pm
Yes, the better part of it at least.


Not just the better part.


The best part.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 19, 2010, 02:10:32 pm
...
Yes
...
*maeks internet meme that dies after 5 seconds*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on June 19, 2010, 03:57:24 pm
"Why can't we do a musical? Nobody dies in a musical!"
"...I die a little."

I love Chowder xD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 19, 2010, 06:30:19 pm
"I was the frog that became a prince."
-Prince Daniel of Sweden.

Honest guy that.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 19, 2010, 06:53:28 pm
Me: Dungeons and Dragons is way more important than American Gladiator.
Ryan: YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY NEVER SEEN WOLF TAKE SOMEONE OUT ON THE PYRAMID.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on June 19, 2010, 08:28:38 pm
From the Full Metal Alchemist Manga:

"You really process things quickly."
"Actually, if I had pants, I would've peed them by now."

God, they say some of the weirdest and most awesome shit in that manga.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 20, 2010, 05:34:25 pm
Me and my best friend once discussed the oh so present "uuuuuh".
You know:
"Can I join?"
"Uuuuuuh..."

So my friend's conclusion was:
"As soon as you get the "uuuuuh" then it is a no. Just don't bother with it more."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on June 20, 2010, 05:37:55 pm
Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange.

Full Metal Alchemist


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on June 22, 2010, 02:08:50 pm
"Give this guy an enema and you could fit him into a matchbox."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 23, 2010, 06:59:12 am
"---and all that funny stuff."

I noticed I keep saying that at the end of sentences even when talking Norwegian.
For example:
"God, there were dead babies everywhere! The streets were painted with blood, poop, shredded diapers and all that funny stuff".


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on June 23, 2010, 05:12:02 pm
Another "funny" phrase: when a silence happens in a conversation, say as if to justify yourself: "That's what the gynecologist told me!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on June 24, 2010, 11:18:20 am
They would say, “Oh my God! You’re going to go on stage like that? This is supposed to be about the music. You’re distracting people from listening. You are not what is important. You are literally a vessel for the music of some person who has been dead for some hundreds of years. You are meant to keep your individuality out it, because it’s not about you.” I’m just too wildly independent and selfish for that. Fuck yeah it’s about me, because you’re dead and I’m not and I’m the reason why any body’s getting to hear your fucking music. And guess who would have agreed absolutely? The guys who wrote it. They would have never had a problem with that. It wasn’t always like this at all. This was the sexiest thing to do. This was the sexiest thing to play. Mozart is not going to have a problem if some girl is not wearing sleeves.

-Emile Autumn


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on June 24, 2010, 11:23:02 am
Did Emile Autumn just take credit for keeping Mozart's music alive?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on June 24, 2010, 11:29:31 am
It's more a "fuck you" to people who complain about her image while she performs classical works.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lash2828 on June 24, 2010, 11:37:07 am
Griggs: Okay, Freeman! Be adequate!
Sheckley: What the hell does that mean?
Griggs: I don't know, it's something the vorts would say.
*Vortigaunt rolls eye*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 24, 2010, 12:31:16 pm
Did Emile Autumn just take credit for keeping Mozart's music alive?

That's really what it sounded like.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on June 24, 2010, 01:10:41 pm
That rug really tied the room together.

- The Big Lebowskie


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tori-saurus-rex on June 24, 2010, 02:33:57 pm
"I don't often fuck myself. But when I do, we both cum."

- Friend's FB status the other night.



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on June 24, 2010, 02:35:49 pm
XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on June 24, 2010, 02:36:39 pm
That should really only be an annoucement if the opposite was true. :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on June 24, 2010, 03:43:30 pm
"Flynt told Sixx that he has proof that former President Abraham Lincoln was gay. He said: "If Lincoln wasn't gay, he was definitely bisexual. We've assembled a large group of letters that he wrote to one of his companions who used to sleep in his bed with him when Mary Todd Lincoln was out of the house. You can tell when you read a note to another person, you can tell the affection that is in it. All you gotta do is read it and you know what is implied. When you read these letters, it's obvious there was something going on between Lincoln and this man."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on June 24, 2010, 08:21:58 pm
Quote from: I'm a poet!!!
Burrow
Under
The
Tree

Blind
Unicorns
Terrorise
Townsfolks

Beautiful
Animals
Never
Appear
Near
Albania

Beast
Unique
To
Transylvania


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on June 24, 2010, 08:55:29 pm
You may have noticed how soccer differs from other American sports: they don't use their hands, they don't take breaks every 30 seconds and there's the constant nightmarish drone of a the million pestilent flies of Beelzebub, Hellish King Of Lies.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 25, 2010, 08:43:48 am
"Oh, it's so nice to finally see my little brother growing into a young woman!"
-Zen-TwoKinds(webcomic)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: The Infamous hobo on June 26, 2010, 01:14:48 am
"That guy thinks he is hot shit on a bike"
-My friend Matty


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on June 26, 2010, 02:48:18 am
"I don't believe in an interventionist god but I know that you do."
-Nick Cave, "Into My Arms"
Anyone who can start a love song with a line like that deserves a special prize. The fabled Chocolate Watch, or maybe a Blue Peter Badge or something.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on June 26, 2010, 06:30:43 am
"Aim for the stars, but sometimes hit London"- (not really) Wernher von Braun.
"I hate flying with Lufthansa, whenever the pilot introduces himself, i feel like he is about to say "The bomb bay is now open, preparing to drop"" - My cousin.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lash2828 on June 26, 2010, 10:51:21 am
"There is one earth! If it splits in half there'll be two!" - Excel


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 26, 2010, 08:06:30 pm
"HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR"
-New level of stupidity on the internet.

I have seen a few people actually do that during WRITTEN debates on the internet. It... it looks incredibly retarded... a new level of retarded...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on June 27, 2010, 10:44:53 pm
"I ain't got no quarrel with them Viet Cong ... They never called me n***er."
-Muhammad Ali


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 28, 2010, 11:56:03 am
"Caaaaarl! What is wrong with you!?
"Well, I kill people and eat hands. That is two things."
-Llamas with hats

xD

"Anime is better than drugs; its more random"
-Random youtuber

Must agree with that one.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on June 29, 2010, 04:52:03 pm
"... so you use the cream in your mouth too. There are tiny hair on the tongue, you know."

- Overheard sentence. Do I want to know what the hell is going on?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on June 29, 2010, 08:34:40 pm
"That's just how this family works. Yelling at each other is like hugging for us."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on June 29, 2010, 08:42:18 pm
My Friend: "Jonny I don't understand your logic... it doesn't make sense"
Me: "Well I don't seem to understand why you're trying to understand my logics!"

-Me and my Friend having a conversation over my non sense making paragraph :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on June 29, 2010, 11:09:40 pm
Ransom: I told Sam he's Snickers. Guess why XDDD
Me: Because he's chocolaty and has nuts?
Ranson: How is whiter than white boy Sam...chocolatey?
Me: -grin-
Ransom: and with that this conversation is over. Thank you. I will never look at Sam the same again.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 30, 2010, 06:46:21 am
"I don't believe having sex early in the relationship means anything. I think that to reach that we have to first understand eachother, and wait for a time when we've figured out all our problems, and then I want the best round of sex ever."
-Mei - Sukitte Ii na yo

"There's evil there that goes to bed late."
-Lord of the rings trailer parody(Norwegian)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lash2828 on June 30, 2010, 10:19:03 am
"Can't abscond, Bro!"
-- Bro, Dave Strider's Brother


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 30, 2010, 10:41:48 am
"What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on June 30, 2010, 01:39:23 pm
"Oh, you have such beautiful long hair! I used to too....until I got cancer"

-Random little old lady to my brother in an elevator


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on June 30, 2010, 01:48:46 pm
"Oh, you have such beautiful long hair! I used to too....until I got cancer"

-Random little old lady to my brother in an elevator
How the hell do you respond to that!?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on June 30, 2010, 02:54:54 pm
I believe he said his response was: "Thank you?..." :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on June 30, 2010, 04:04:41 pm
Should've of said something like "Yuuup... yup yup... my hair is quite the beauty." *Swings hair back and forth for dramatic effect.*
No I kid... please hang me.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TeeZee on June 30, 2010, 06:01:44 pm
My dad was telling me how my mother has to work with a property in which the previous occupants left feces everywhere.

Me: Where they lesbians?
Dad: Why would they be lesbiOh my God...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Major Cobalt on June 30, 2010, 08:51:42 pm
While playing Catchphrase.
The word was "homey."

Me: What's up my...?
Fellow Counselor: ASS?!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on June 30, 2010, 11:31:13 pm
Me: (Laying my head on my girlfriend's stomach) I can hear your stomach grumbling. Are you hungry?
Her: Yes. I might have to eat you.
Me: Hehehe, you're so-
Her: That wasn't supposed to be cute.
She then stared at me for five seconds before tackling me and gnawing on my arm.
It was terrifying.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on July 01, 2010, 09:41:08 am
"So, I stopped playing World of Warcraft for a small period of time, but I had time payed for, so I let my mother play on my account. During the time that I was away, the battle.net/account merge requirement came into effect, and she didn't really understand it, so instead of asking me for my information, she put in hers. I was easily able to switch the email information to this account, which is mine, but I can't change the name of the actual account from "Jo Anne McNabney" to "Aaron McNabney". This wasn't a problem until Real ID was introduced, and now it's displayed pretty openly. Is there any way for me to change the first name of the account? I have the credit card information to prove that the account is mine. Thank you for your time.

                                                                   Aaron (not Jo Anne) McNabney"

"Hello Aaron,

Before possibly looking into changing the name on the account, we would need to be able to verify that the account was originally your's. The name originally on the WoW account doesn't show "Aaron" and this could be an issue. Would you have possibly registered to a different name or maybe someone else originally had the account. I would need more information to proceed with this. Thanks!"

*Facepalm*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on July 01, 2010, 11:43:03 am
...way to be Blizzard. Way to be.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on July 01, 2010, 04:51:10 pm
and Blizzard customer services isn't even in India.  :humpingparrot:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on July 02, 2010, 09:38:13 am
Quote
Dominique sagt (17:35):
 Windows has a penis and Linux has a vagina.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: jared on July 02, 2010, 10:41:42 am
I knew there was a reason I love linux


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on July 04, 2010, 09:03:54 am
Thor: The Asgard have tried to stop them. You have demonstrated their weakness may be found from a less sophisticated approach. We are no longer capable of such thinking.
Daniel: Wait a minute, you're actually saying that you need someone dumber than you are?
O'Neill: You may have come to the right place


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on July 04, 2010, 11:25:30 am
Friend: Happy 4th of July! Remember, if you don't eat a hot dog today, the terrorists have won.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on July 05, 2010, 01:20:12 pm
I admit that these holidays make me...bored. But I'd rather be bored then at school. Work must suck.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on July 05, 2010, 01:33:34 pm
"Today, we've silenced the doubters. We've played one of the real World Cup favourites off the park. We knew that was what they were. I suspect they actually didn't believe that at all."

-Philipp Lahm

FUUUCK YOU ARGENTINA & BRAZIL :P
-Riceguard


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on July 05, 2010, 08:22:42 pm
Me:
"This little piggy went to school.
This little piggy stayed at home.
This little piggy wentAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
I noticed my friend standing behind me with a spray can and a lighter. Horrifying.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Yutrzenika on July 05, 2010, 09:39:22 pm
Josh says:
 I remembuh you
Josh says:
 Well that's good
Josh says:
 We seem to be at a crossroads, good sir. We have the same name
Josh says:
 We do
 What should be done about this?
Josh says:
 We should post a quote on TZH, and see if they can tell the difference
Josh says:
 We should
 Who should post the quote, you, or I?
Josh says:
 I think you should, as I am not signed in at the moment
Josh says:
 Alright.

MWUAHAHA! Try and figure out who is who! XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on July 05, 2010, 09:41:09 pm
One is you I suppose, since you're posting it, and the other is Alucard.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Yutrzenika on July 05, 2010, 09:42:06 pm
Ah, yes, but which one is which!? XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on July 05, 2010, 09:48:24 pm
You are the second Josh.
Pretty easy to deduce from the quote  since you seem to post one at a time and after each other.
All needed is count.
him-alucard-him-alucard-him-alucard-him-alucard... yeah...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Yutrzenika on July 05, 2010, 10:13:01 pm
And you are correct! :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on July 05, 2010, 10:13:56 pm
Another victory for logical thinking!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lash2828 on July 05, 2010, 10:18:31 pm
Quote
DAVESPRITE: ask me anything go ahead ill give you a straight answer
DAVE: alright
DAVE: here goes
DAVE: why are we so fucking awesome
DAVESPRITE: thats the best fucking question anybody ever asked

-- Homestuck


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on July 06, 2010, 02:03:52 am
"Tsukurimashou tsukurimashou sate sate nani ga dekiru ka na!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reJFCM632jU)
-One of the cutest and most addictive melodies ever!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on July 06, 2010, 12:20:06 pm
Reminds me of when Chiyo-chan put on the penguin costume.
So adorable...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on July 06, 2010, 02:28:42 pm
"Dude, just go apeshit on those chakras. I'm not paypalling you a Benjie and a half for a bunch of weaksauce chakras. I want a chakra you can hang your hat on, WHILE you fry an egg on it, and makes you HIGH just in the amount of time it takes you to go Google whatever the fuck a chakra IS."

- Andrew Hussie of MSPA


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: SharpArcher01 on July 07, 2010, 08:42:35 pm
"Growing up, I learned you don't criticize a person's religion, his politics, or his dog. I've since learned you don't criticize his preferred weapon of choice. Never try to convince him to change any of these things, it will only tick him off. "


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tori-saurus-rex on July 08, 2010, 12:22:47 am
Talking to my boyfriend while he plays Castlevania on XBox.

Evan: It's so damn hard, you can only attack in a small limited range, and you only have a whip.
Me: Sooo..... when a problem comes along.... you must whip it?
Evan: ....yes.
Me: Do you whip it good?
Evan: ....Stop it.
Me: Never.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lash2828 on July 08, 2010, 03:20:16 am
Haha.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on July 10, 2010, 11:49:48 pm
"I've...just poured orange juice on my gun. Excellent." (http://www.youtube.com/user/666theheartless666#p/c/4FD3CC13961A6C54/0/4n0Dmbsxe-E)
I love this guy's LPs.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on July 11, 2010, 01:23:22 am
Aaron
The game starts with the players signing papers to take part in a game called "The Hunt"
Basically, what it is

Stephen
is it at all like this classic tale
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Most_Dangerous_Game

Me
Kind of
Well
If Rainsford was a large group of people
And they all had weapons
and were free to roam the entire country instead of a small island
And Zaroff was also a group of people with weapons and the ability to roam wherever they pleased
And all of the dead guys that Zaroff had already killed were alive and were a bunch of guys with guns and the ability to roam wherever they pleased
And instead of Zaroff hunting everyone
Everyone is hunting everyone

Stephen
that's kind of neat

Me
I like to think so
Also, for the record, I think I'm going to start comparing everything to The Most Dangerous Game

Stephen
you better
even if there is no way to compare to it

Me
Malcolm in the Middle is like The Most Dangerous game
Only instead of being a hunter, Rainsford is a lower-middle class family
And instead of being a Cossack, Zaroff is the majority of the world keeping them down.
And Ivan
Is comically awkward situations

Stephen
Pancakes are a lot like The Most Dangerous Game
only instead of being a hunter, Rainsford is instant pancake mix
and instead of being a Cossack, Zaroff is a combination of water and a pan on a stove
And Ivan
Is butter and syrup

Me
And when they all come together, rather than a thrilling adventure full of danger and excitement, you get a delicious breakfast full of delicious and breakfast.

Stephen
yes

Me
I like this a lot

Stephen
me too


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lash2828 on July 12, 2010, 04:14:07 am
"Sometimes when we're working late, we're all tired and someone gets an idea and says "Hey, let's put testicles on a 20 feet tall armored spider.""
-- Gabe Newell.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on July 12, 2010, 01:29:19 pm
"All you need to know, boy, is that around here... I'm the Father, the Son and the Holy fucking Ghost all rolled into one."
-Red Crow


Population--28.
Average annual beer sales--4 million cans.

Both quotes from Scalped: Indian Country


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on July 13, 2010, 08:21:28 am
I need a seven-letter word for "Hot-Blooded Sex God"....these custom license plate forms take forever to fill out.

- Lore Brand Comics (http://badgods.com/)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on July 13, 2010, 04:11:14 pm
My Friend Zeke telling me about his day:

Jonny boy! The best fucking thing happened at work today. Ok, so this morning someone snagged my chair while I went away from my desk to set up computers. This is actually the third time since I worked here (it's been six months) that this has happened so I put the biggest pin I could find that would be hidden and near...ly impossible to see in the chair. About 45 minutes later we hear a little scream. Then the woman who stole my seat was sent home by her supervisor, and her supervisor comes over to the manager of the department which is by my desk and I overhead the entire conversation about the rep sitting on the chair. I laughed so hard I fell out of my desk and when I got up the manager's assistant came over to ask me if there were any extra chairs, since she saw me dragging one around earlier. She asks me why I have such a huge smile on my face, and I told her my brother just had a baby boy (which is true, his wife gave birth to his first kid last night.)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on July 14, 2010, 05:55:56 am
"One anonymous cast member told Entertainment Weekly: "He is a nice guy. But he is full of shit." -Wikipedia about Tommy Wiseau/The Room (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Room_%28film%29)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: SharpArcher01 on July 19, 2010, 10:45:06 pm
Two goodies from the past week:

"You dun goofed!"

"The consequences WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!"




Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on July 19, 2010, 11:34:58 pm
lol that whole thing was just sad >.> Yet so funny


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on July 20, 2010, 03:10:24 am
"Say, do you know where the cock goes? *smirk* Cuz it's not the ass."
-Jasper saying random shit to some version of that girl from The Grudge in my dream.

...

Perhaps the reason I tend to always forget my dreams is because I don't really want to remember them.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lidg on July 20, 2010, 11:32:38 pm
Me (talking about a character from a drawing I made): Man, I wish I was badass dreadlocks lady.  :(
Friend: Don't worry, charmander is to Holly as charizard is to dreadlocks lady. It will happen, you just have to burn a lot of people to death first.
Me: You're my favorite.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on July 21, 2010, 06:06:14 pm
 Hey Joey
 Suicide doesn't work
 I keep coming back alive
Joey. says:
 WAIT WHAT REALLY
Mischa says:
 it's like groundhog day
Joey. says:
 xD
Mischa says:
 that movie
 where he keeps dying
 but then not
Joey. says:
 he doesnt die
Mischa says:
 yeah
Joey. says:
 no
Mischa says:
 I think I'm in hell right now
Joey. says:
 he keeps waking up on the same day
 until he gets it right
 you might be
 one question
 nice weather?
Mischa says:
 yeah
 it's dece
Joey. says:
 k good


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on July 22, 2010, 03:24:57 pm
"He's like a reverse Nero- everyone's fiddling while he burns."
-Someone on Have I Got News For You, on Gordon Grown.

Doctor: Mrs. Daniels, why did the chicken cross the road?
Patient: Uh... to get to the other side?
Doctor: Nooo, to pick up your medication, you've got MRSA! :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on July 22, 2010, 04:39:14 pm
"Paris fucking Hilton wants you dead, enough said."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tori-saurus-rex on July 22, 2010, 04:42:11 pm
My boss: " You're like a puppy with ADD..."
Me: "What?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on July 22, 2010, 05:03:47 pm
Also I feel like any administration that doesn't realize "Conservatives for change" is literally an oxymoron probably isn't smart enough to run a country.

Youtube comment.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on July 25, 2010, 09:35:57 am
Issac Dian and Miria Harvent: The only way to steal is to steal from the mafia!

- Baccano!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on July 26, 2010, 05:54:29 am
Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on July 30, 2010, 09:34:50 am
*Russian accent*
I have pig joke for you:
Two pigs. One pig says... he say: "what's ham...poning?"
...
*draws gun*
'Dis funny.

-This. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DqBEGDVE3M&playnext=1&videos=OblZyfudJug&feature=sub)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on July 30, 2010, 10:16:43 am
god, i hate when people use the inverted russian R as r in their texts when they want them to look russian.
cause inverter R stands for "ya"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on July 30, 2010, 10:20:33 am
One man. Three missiles. The modern day marines at work.
- Repo Men (More or less)

Akihisa Yoshii: Gah, why are both of you trying to stop me!? This guy needs to be corporally punished with a slit throat!!

- Baka to Tesuto to Shoukanjuu


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on August 01, 2010, 02:25:53 pm
Random youtuber commenting on "Thewoodsofjordan"'s new video:

"I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. As a christian, you were an annoying fat fuck. As an atheist, you are a cool skinny dude."

But seriously, "thewoodsofjordan" have fundamentally changed from a bigoted, stupid and closed minded fundamentalist to... quite the likable guy.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on August 02, 2010, 08:47:38 am
But seriously, "thewoodsofjordan" have fundamentally changed from a bigoted, stupid and closed minded fundamentalist to... quite the likable guy.
He's still just as annoying to me. :P

*shrug*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on August 02, 2010, 01:02:22 pm
He's still just as annoying to me. :P

*shrug*
Yes.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on August 03, 2010, 02:34:31 am
My friend who just moved to America writing on facebook(translated from Norwegian):
"Having a great time in America, but fuck they don't have IQ worth a dime!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on August 03, 2010, 11:20:09 am
After wasting mt Heritage Day Long Weekend with the most politically ignorant and racially discriminating rednecks this side of the border, i agree.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on August 03, 2010, 11:46:06 am
"...just some Norwegian retards trying to play Swedish songs."

-E from Watain 


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on August 03, 2010, 11:52:16 am
Yes, us Norwegians seriously shouldn't be singing to CaramellDansen.  :eyeroll:
*oaoaoh*
But it is way too addictive for us. Especially since, in difference from the huge population of American and Japanese fans, we can understand as good as every single word of that acid trip song.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on August 03, 2010, 06:00:37 pm
*ring ring*
- Allo?
- Because you divorced me I went to Colombia and screwed whores until I ran out of money and now I'm sure I have AIDS.
- ... better get tested.
- I don't care! I don't care if I die because you divorced me!
- You have a new wife...
- It was up to you to think about her before you divorced me. If she dies it's your fault.

(the guy failed at failing; fifteen years later he's still alive, still a jerk, still full of issues and still in denial of them)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on August 03, 2010, 06:40:46 pm
Fuck that guy, there are thousands of better people on the planet, you included, so go find one.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on August 04, 2010, 08:31:55 am
"The monkey didn’t help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just
watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if
he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, “This is the
turning point of the war! We’ve finally stopped them! We’re finally safe!” But instead his
little penis popped out and he peed in my face."
-World War Z - UDAIPURLAKEPALACE, LAKEPICHOLA, RAJASTHAN, INDIA


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Rampito on August 05, 2010, 12:18:27 am
Friend: AHHH MY TOENAIL CAME OFF!
Me: It came off? Where's all the blood?
Friend: The blood is in my penis because I have an erection.

Call me immature, but I found this incredibly funny, especially since part of his toenail had actually ripped off and he's just acting all calm about it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Raryn on August 10, 2010, 11:13:33 pm
Marcus Cole(Babylon 5):

"There's always the threat of an attack by say, a giant space dragon, the kind that eats the sun once every thirty days. It's a nuisance, but what can you expect from reptiles? Did I mention that my nose is on fire? And that I have fifteen wild badgers living in my trousers? I'm sorry, would you prefer ferrets?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on August 10, 2010, 11:44:50 pm
Guy: You know... this car was a gift from my father...
Oh well. At least things can't get any worse...

-Silence-

Baxter: Hey nothing happened! I guess your life actually can't get any worse!
You've hit rock bottom, but hey, at least nothing else can go wrong!

Guy: Oh good, my suicide shall go flawlessly.

Baxter: That's the spirit!

- Hellbound


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on August 11, 2010, 09:43:20 am
My friend who just moved to America writing on facebook(translated from Norwegian):
"Having a great time in America, but fuck they don't have IQ worth a dime!"

I came into this thread to talk about how awesome The Goon is, but I just got reminded why BB is such a jackass and don't feel like it any more. Bummer.

Aw shucks, I'll post it anyway.

"You wouldn't hit a woman, would you?"
"Lady, before me and Franky walked in, you were the closest thing to a man in this joint."

   --The Goon clearing out a coven of Vampires.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on August 11, 2010, 10:28:46 am
I came into this thread to talk about how awesome The Goon is, but I just got reminded why BB is such a jackass and don't feel like it any more. Bummer.
It was a quote from my friend. Not me.
I'm not the one (living in America) who is passing judgement on Americans. <.<


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on August 11, 2010, 12:15:34 pm
Log! is sad that the truth hurts... American's rank pretty low in average IQ compared to other countries, specifically Asian and European.

For the record, I am an American, always have been... and these findings surprise me not at all.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on August 11, 2010, 12:20:11 pm
*Backs out of the room while bowing*
Sorry for appearing to be a jackass.

"Your friend is a jackass."
And...?  ;)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on August 11, 2010, 12:27:28 pm
(http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/838/picture1hic.png)
Huh.
The idea of an international IQ is a bit silly, anyway, considering the variation in testing, in training, scoring...
Of course, if he meant actual intelligence rather than IQ, it all becomes even more subjective.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on August 11, 2010, 12:35:25 pm
Well he lives in Kentucky.
I myself don't know where the "boarder" where it "starts" to be more and more of the (European) stereotype of Americans.
...
Now I remembered that I asked him to be a bit more spesific.
*goes to facebook to look for replies*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on August 11, 2010, 12:37:19 pm
well, i think that we can all agree that majority of people anywhere except canada, scandinavia, australia and switzerland are idiots...
(why these countries? because they are well developed, and we still dont hear about them in the media)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on August 11, 2010, 12:51:48 pm
The idea of an international IQ is a bit silly, anyway, considering the variation in testing, in training, scoring...
Of course, if he meant actual intelligence rather than IQ, it all becomes even more subjective.

I suppose I do agree with this. Actual intelligence is always subjective. I should have assumed that IQ tests vary from place to place and aren't always the same. Even if they were, it's your alleged intelligence based on somebody else's specifications, anyway.

You all have an IQ of 200 based on my quotient test. All you have to do is post on these forums and you must be a super genious!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on August 11, 2010, 04:56:38 pm

- Hellbound

That was an awesome webcomic. Shame it stopped.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on August 11, 2010, 07:06:28 pm
well, i think that we can all agree that everyone everywhere all the time forever is a fucking idiot.

Fix'd.

Just because it's not documented doesn't mean it's not true.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Random_Zombie#1 on August 14, 2010, 09:01:19 pm
Quote from: st96ss
Your irrelavant because....YOU STARTD THE ARGUMENT BY CREATING A SMART ASS REMARK SIGNALING THAT YOU WANTED TO FIGHT, yOU ALSO SAID THAT YOUR SCYTHE COULD CHANNEL ELECTRICITY AT THEIR OPPOMENTS WHICH WAS COMPLETLY RANDOM, YOU ALSO CHANGED WHAT WE SAID WHICH ALSO SIGNALED THAT YOU WANTED TO CONTINUE THE ARGUMENT AND THAT YOU ARE CHILDISH. AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE IRRELEVANT. Too fast for ya? I will repeat what i just said. TNAVELERRI ERA UOY YHW SI TAHT DNA. HSIDLIHC ERA OUY TATH DNA TNEMUGRA EHT EUNITNOC OT DETNAW UOY TAHT DELANGIS OSLA HICHW STNEMOPPO RIEHT TA YTICIRTCELE LENNAHC DLOUC EHTYCS RUOY TATH DAIS OSLA OUY. THGIF OT DETNAW UOY TAHT GNILANGIS KRAMER SSA TRAMS A GNITAERC YB TNEMUGRA EHT DETRATS UOY.  YOU STARTD THE ARGUMENT BY CREATING A SMART ASS REMARK SIGNALING THAT YOU WANTED TO FIGHT, yOU ALSO SAID THAT YOUR SCYTHE COULD CHANNEL ELECTRICITY AT THEIR OPPOMENTS WHICH WAS COMPLETLY RANDOM, YOU ALSO CHANGED WHAT WE SAID WHICH ALSO SIGNALED THAT YOU WANTED TO CONTINUE THE ARGUMENT AND THAT YOU ARE CHILDISH. AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE IRRELEVANT........DAMN IM GOOD! CAN YOU FEEL THAT? CAN YA!

Someone tried to tear into me on another forum and well I laughed hard.

Also, my response to him starting his rage engine.

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c1/HHardy/1280042136242.jpg)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on August 15, 2010, 11:57:05 am
What the hell was the subject about  ???


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Random_Zombie#1 on August 15, 2010, 11:58:50 am
I was trying to help him with his bad grammar and punctuation by pointing out what needed to be corrected. Apparently where he comes from, trying to help someone must mean they hate you.

Edit: Levi says (3:05 PM):
 Besides in a way it's not really that bad..... Relationships happen at all ages..... and BABIES ARE GROWING BREASTS IN CHINA!

Shit happens rama rama ding dong. says (3:05 PM):
 lol

Levi says (3:05 PM):
 3 month old baby.... with B SIZED BABY BOOBS!


(Don't even ask I don't even know myself.)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on August 16, 2010, 12:14:22 pm
To my mother following the debate of a verb (condone) that she took to be extremely literal.

"Fuck me in the God damn browned-eyed shithole mom, I know I don't have the authority to "allow it." It's a figure of speech for love of Christ. I'll make sure to be super duper literal from now on. I'd tell you I'm about to go take a shit if I knew you wouldn't think I was stealing it from the toilet."

Gotta love that Facebook drama.

EDIT - No, no you don't gotta love it...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on August 16, 2010, 12:24:08 pm
Wow that seems kind of mean towards your mother...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on August 16, 2010, 01:37:23 pm
It probably wouldn't if you knew us. We have an... uncommon relationship.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on August 16, 2010, 01:39:29 pm
One of those were the use of curse words in conversation were not taboo, like, ever?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on August 16, 2010, 01:39:42 pm
Frank: Is that thing trying to suckle on a plastic mannequin's teat? Not that there's anything wrong with them teats. That's some nice teats. But he ain't gettin' nothin' outta it.
Goon: Like a mongoloid in a turd kicking contest.
Frank: *Full panel of nothing but a confused look*
Frank: I don't understand that analogy.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on August 16, 2010, 02:09:13 pm
One of those were the use of curse words in conversation were not taboo, like, ever?

When I was much younger.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on August 17, 2010, 07:59:11 am
"Yes! This anime is a school love comedy to begin with! Haruhi and I are the main characters of this love comedy!"
-Tamaki - Ouran High school host club

That breaking of the fourth wall was hilariously unexpected...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on August 17, 2010, 08:33:01 pm
"There is no greater inequality than the equal treatment of unequals."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: SharpArcher01 on August 19, 2010, 12:45:11 am
"My grandfather taught me that anyone who lays a hand on me in anger is a rabid dog and should be put down like one."

I overheard someone say this, and it sounded too "action-movie" to forget.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on August 20, 2010, 02:32:39 pm
This is the beat from the famous medieval rapper "50 Ducats" and his song "In thee Tavern."... It goes a little something like this: "We shalt party like it's thy birthday! We shalt drink ale like 'tis thy birthday! We shan't give a doo because 'tis thy birthday!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on August 20, 2010, 03:21:47 pm
Co-worker read a clipping from some paper today from an animal rights activist. It went a little something like this...

"If you are a hunter who goes out killing animals to eat, shame on you! You should go to the grocery store where the meat is already made for you and no animals were harmed!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on August 20, 2010, 07:02:17 pm
You know it's fake right? That sentence has been circulating around for about two years at least, I have no idea if it has ever originated from a confused animal-rights activist or was made up to ridicule them in the first place, but all its later apparitions are clearly fake.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on August 21, 2010, 02:31:34 am
Spoiler warning for Homestuck.
Quote from: halfassured
If it's any consolation, though, this is good for TA/AA shippers like me. Aradia's parents might not have let her date someone who wasn't also dead, because of racism.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lash2828 on August 21, 2010, 08:07:54 am
Quote
YOU ARE THE LAW WHOOPS
--Homestuck


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on August 23, 2010, 07:13:20 am
You know it's fake right? That sentence has been circulating around for about two years at least, I have no idea if it has ever originated from a confused animal-rights activist or was made up to ridicule them in the first place, but all its later apparitions are clearly fake.

Aha, I did not know that. I had never seen or hear of it until recently.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on August 25, 2010, 11:36:15 am
"and we've been talking about drawing women and I haven't mentioned porn once" -McNinja


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on August 25, 2010, 12:20:34 pm
"Even people who don't have internet have internet."


My previous supervisor at work today on the topic of people who are not classified as having internet access.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on August 26, 2010, 02:12:49 pm
"Me protect Lady Ariel! Pedophile go away!"
-Valeria - Drowtales.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on August 26, 2010, 10:21:11 pm
(http://asset.soup.io/asset/0407/5119_606c.png)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on August 27, 2010, 04:40:27 pm
My dear friend is pregnant and I've been following her updates on Facebook. This is the newest one:

Ugh!! I'm sick!! The nurse told me over the phone that I might have food poisoning :( I feel like a beached whale... a food poisoned beached whale!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on August 28, 2010, 12:36:34 am
"It's okay honey, we can always get another car. We can't get another you."

My mom after the crash.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on August 28, 2010, 06:47:49 pm
I was trying to help him with his bad grammar and punctuation by pointing out what needed to be corrected. Apparently where he comes from, trying to help someone must mean they hate you.



Well technically to him (IMO) you just come off as a smart ass, who feel he has the right to assert his authority as a grammar nazi
even if it wasn't ill willed.

Its like you talking to a friend about the Politics of Asia, and you said something completely misguided about the Premier of China
and I come in and start babbling about what you were wrong about.

Obviously you would think I am overreacting and I'm a effing smartass.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lidg on August 28, 2010, 11:32:52 pm
Guy: "How do I get a job?"
Lobster: "Shed your exoskeleton to grow larger!"
Guy: "That's what my dad said."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on August 29, 2010, 12:22:18 pm
Twitter again:


Me: My roommates are really trying to get me fucked up tonight.

MLE: @Hailfax NO YOU ARE TOO BUSY QUOTING THE LION KING TO DRINK.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on August 31, 2010, 04:18:24 pm
MLE is awesome. She needs to get back on here.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on September 01, 2010, 02:33:09 am
Mentok the mind fucker says:
 gonna hump a potato
 ....
 wrong chat


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on September 01, 2010, 01:26:30 pm
"So, in Scandinavia the stereotypical American woman is basically Paris Hilton, but prettier and with bigger fake breasts. I’m sorry."
-Humon comics


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on September 01, 2010, 01:32:53 pm
With a dog on her head!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on September 01, 2010, 01:34:32 pm
A tiny dog.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on September 01, 2010, 02:37:05 pm
"There can be only one."
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
*Awesomeness ensures*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Major Cobalt on September 01, 2010, 06:43:40 pm
"Fight 'em til hell freezes over, then fight 'em on the ice."
-TCU football coach Dutch Meyer before the 1939 national championship game


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on September 02, 2010, 12:29:07 am
"We are not mean. We are just "too critical" -Our class


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on September 02, 2010, 06:16:38 am
"we will be performing a midsummer nights dream, have you read it?"
Me: no ma'am but it's Shakespeare, that means it's good by default.
"... I like you already. "
I can tell drama at Scarlett is going to be awesome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on September 03, 2010, 11:16:14 am
Random youtuber profile:
"About me:
I'm a songwriter who can't sing and an active Anti-troll machine, I like feeding those suckers until their egos become big and explodes into pieces of shit."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Some guy makes a comment about Cannabis increasing the appetite*

*response*
"That is exactly why Cannabis should continue to be illegal!

Especially in these times when we have a big problem with an increasing population, and that more and more people in the world don't have more food every day than a few grains of rice and a pint of water. If Cannabis becomes legal then everyone is going to start smoking, and then what? There will be even less food in the world as a result of overeating. The stores would be empty for frozen pizza, snickers and Cola.

Not to forget about obesity! If everyone in Norway starts to smoke then the ground level will sink at least 42 feet because of all the food and the extra weight input. Imagine the catastrophe! Buildings and human lives will be lost in the enormous destruction that will arise, and many cities alongside the coast will be flooded.

This will be so horrifyingly tragic that 97% of Cannabis smokers will start with heroin, 1% will spontaneously combust while the remaining 2% will simply lay down on a bare rock-face to die.

Do we really want this?"

-One of the most brilliant ironic statements I've seen in the legalization debate.
Had a lot of fun translating that.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on September 07, 2010, 04:13:14 pm
Alex says (3:44 PM):
 you're so unlady like
Torizilla Queen of the Viking Amazons says (3:45 PM):
 I really am lol You can dress me up and take me out, but as soon as I open my fucking mouth the jig is up XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on September 08, 2010, 08:11:16 am
"But- and this is absolutely key- survival within Pathologic does not bend to you, just as the story doesn’t bend to you. This rigidity is perhaps what marks it out as a uniquely Russian videogame. Just as survival in real life is merely something you have to do in order to achieve your goals, so it is in Pathologic. You will not get paid money when you carry out the whims of the town’s leaders. There will not be a health pack hidden behind the thug. You will not find a loaf of bread at the back of the cave. You’ll find a stone wall at the back of the cave, because it’s a fucking cave."

Source (http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2008/04/10/butchering-pathologic-part-1-the-body/)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on September 08, 2010, 11:58:38 am
"Life ain't nothing but bitches and money"

N.W.A. - Gangsta Gangsta


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on September 08, 2010, 12:09:26 pm
the menstural cycle even has its own noise. Nagnagnag nag biiitch bitch biiiitch.

fixed


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on September 09, 2010, 08:56:40 am
I quoted that from jeff dunham...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on September 09, 2010, 12:09:41 pm
"Sometimes you just need the good ol' fashioned honesty of a whore"

-My friend Justin, who is quoting a movie I can't remember the name of. :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on September 11, 2010, 05:24:36 am
"Oh, man. Is she a stalker? Wait. If she's hot, it's okay, right?"
 -Ryugamine Mikado, Durarara


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on September 11, 2010, 10:47:40 pm
"I have flying monkeys and I'm not afraid to use them"

Thing on my wall


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on September 13, 2010, 06:49:44 am
fixed

I wasnt complaining i was being quoted, just trying to avoid legal repurcussions...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on September 14, 2010, 10:56:22 am
"This political correctness has gone mad. I can't even refer to my child as "My disabled son". Apparently the correct term is "Daughter"

  - Some dude on lamebook. This website is fucking hilarious.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on September 14, 2010, 01:20:03 pm
thats why i changed it, just to make you safer cricco.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on September 14, 2010, 09:31:15 pm
Chappi: When are you gonna to become my customer?
I'll hook you up, man!

- Riviera: The Promised Land

Depends on your way of thinking.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 15, 2010, 05:25:43 pm
Materials that are not suitable for building shelter with:

Water
Angry words
Live ants


Source (http://www.27bslash6.com/lost.html)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on September 15, 2010, 11:10:17 pm
Materials that are not suitable for building shelter with:
Live ants
Source (http://www.27bslash6.com/lost.html)

Did you know?
Some ant species build their hives by using their own live ants as the skeleton of the structure?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on September 16, 2010, 01:49:30 am
"Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie."

 - Stephen Colbert


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 16, 2010, 06:54:37 am
Did you know?
Some ant species build their hives by using their own live ants as the skeleton of the structure?

I did. It's still funny though.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on September 17, 2010, 10:17:53 am
"Today, I lost my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about this. MLIA"

That. That right there is what I visit MLIA for.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on September 17, 2010, 03:30:59 pm
"We beat the drum slowly and played the fife lowly,
And bitterly wept as we bore him along.
For we loved our comrade, so brave, young and handsome,
We all loved our comrade, although he'd done wrong."

-The Cowboy's Lament


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on September 18, 2010, 03:04:33 pm
"You don't die for your friends. You live for them!"
-Elza Scarlet


You know, if more anime characters took that to heart then we'd have a lot less cheesy death scenes.  :eyeroll:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on September 18, 2010, 11:30:27 pm
Altay says:
 WHY COULDN'T YOUR NAME BE SCOTT PILGRIM
 YOU SLUT
Double Rainbow  (●̮̮̃•̃) says:

i ask myself that question everyday.

EDIT: My friends laughed at this.

me: your first timeshould be with a comlete stranger
Keith: :|
me: true
Sent at 11:55 PM on Saturday
me: it should be because she doesn't know you
she doesn't know what to expect Sent at 11:57 PM on Saturday
me: and she probably knows how to make cinnamon buns
WIN WIN!
Keith : AWESOME
cinnamon buns are tasty
me: mmhmm
and could you imagine walking down the street or being on the train and them seeing you and thinking/saying to their friends "guy right there? hes a good fucker"
and you saying to your friends "chick right there? makes good cinnamon buns"

yes. My buddy Keith.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on September 19, 2010, 03:03:25 pm
"I heard that sticking a green onion in your anus helps against colds"
-Advice I'll never try out. O_o


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 20, 2010, 02:55:47 pm
"It annoys me that knights aren’t allowed to carry their swords. That would be knife crime."

-Sir Terry Pratchett


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on September 20, 2010, 02:56:32 pm
"It annoys me that knights aren’t allowed to carry their swords. That would be knife crime."

-Sir Terry Pratchett

I just read that article before lunch. Very cool.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: LordSappington on September 20, 2010, 04:25:42 pm
Chloe
now I've kinda got a head ache too

5:19pm Me
Take some aspirin

5:19pm Chloe
I will

5:20pm Me
And eat something
Also, you should call more
And hurry up and get me some grandkids

5:22pm Chloe
what


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Major Cobalt on September 21, 2010, 08:12:28 am
Coworker: So I found out today that I'm failing all my classes.
Me: Aren't you taking pottery?!

We both laughed for like ten minutes.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 21, 2010, 02:54:27 pm
When you're between the Devil and the deep blue sea, you need to stop worrying about pirates, and adjust your sails.

Lyrics from Dan Bull- Dear Lily (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL9-esIM2CY), though it seems like pretty good life advice too.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: SharpArcher01 on September 27, 2010, 11:05:00 am
"A witty saying proves nothing." -Voltaire

uh oh..did I just pull a literary "divide by zero?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 27, 2010, 12:45:06 pm
Aaron says:
 yo nigga
Nihtgenga says:
 'Lo. Sorry about the late reply, was looking for my phone
Aaron says:
 its ok im so black
 its not even funny
Nihtgenga says:
 I've got a dark grey patch on my arm, does that count?
Aaron says:
 this aint arron this is michael i have his computer so thats all just bs
Nihtgenga says:
 And Michael is?
Aaron says:
 his best friend ever
 hes gay for me
Nihtgenga says:
 Ah, I see. How delicious.
 He give or recieve?
Aaron says:
 both
Nihtgenga says:
 Oh, how marvellous! My nipples ache with delight for the two of you.
Aaron says:
 thsi is getting akward
 i was just kidding
Nihtgenga says:
 Ha, i win. awesome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on September 27, 2010, 05:22:06 pm
*throws email address*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on September 28, 2010, 02:20:28 am
"Paint the man, Cut the lines.. Paint the man, Cut the lines.." -Amnesia


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on September 28, 2010, 02:27:35 am
"L.O.V.E - I love the way
You Posses me
The bloody evidence is left
At the crime scene

I could have brought you roses
Or a diamond ring
That's just material things
This day I want you to be mine
I'm your blood stained valentine
"
-Murderdolls - Bloodstained Valentine


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on September 28, 2010, 06:33:30 pm
Cheez conversation


The Aaron in this is not me. I hope.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 29, 2010, 12:48:54 pm
Hmm. There are two Aarons in my MSN list. I thought the email was yours, but I could quite easily be wrong.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on September 29, 2010, 04:40:26 pm
Edit: To Hail below me; mayyyyybeeeeeeeeeee....


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on September 29, 2010, 06:26:39 pm
.....

Jetray did you post in zee wrong thread? : P


“You know, when you were a kid, I’d come home from a hunt, and after what I’d seen, I’d be wrecked. And you, you’d come up to me and you’d put your hand on my shoulder and you’d look me in the eye and you’d…you’d say, ‘It’s okay, Dad.’”
—    John Winchester to Dean Winchester, Supernatural


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on September 29, 2010, 07:34:38 pm
"there are two rules to success in life.
1. never tell anyone everything you know.
..."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on September 29, 2010, 09:14:00 pm
Legalized bitches.

Yup.

 :humpingparrot:
Upon reading this I said aloud:

Me: Apparently prostitution is legal in Canada now?

Girlfriend: Coooool! Guess where we're going?!

Me: To get some hookers?

GF: *stern voice*America. Because things are better here.

 :laugh:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on September 30, 2010, 07:43:32 am
Aren't you already in America?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on September 30, 2010, 08:02:56 am
Heh, yeah.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on September 30, 2010, 08:10:10 am
This legalized hooker conversation just gave me the best idea...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tuczib on September 30, 2010, 08:13:30 am
This can't be good.... or can it?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on September 30, 2010, 08:27:02 am
For your average person probably not, but with Outlaw...Prostitutes + Hockey Mask = Hilarious at the very least. :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on September 30, 2010, 12:32:36 pm
Hilarity, violence and wipespread chaos shall all ensue. 


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tuczib on September 30, 2010, 12:42:00 pm
Ah yes, this is where the fetish for hockey-masked, stapler-toting hookers is born.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on September 30, 2010, 12:58:08 pm
It has begun.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on September 30, 2010, 01:27:04 pm
Ah yes, this is where the fetish for hockey-masked, stapler-toting hookers is born.
And now that you've said that Rule 34 applies.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Tuczib on September 30, 2010, 01:30:55 pm
That's it, I'm googling videos of it now.   


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on September 30, 2010, 01:43:09 pm
.....

Jetray did you post in zee wrong thread? : P


“You know, when you were a kid, I’d come home from a hunt, and after what I’d seen, I’d be wrecked. And you, you’d come up to me and you’d put your hand on my shoulder and you’d look me in the eye and you’d…you’d say, ‘It’s okay, Dad.’”
—    John Winchester to Dean Winchester, Supernatural
that. and:
"When I was five, and told dad that Im scared of the thing in the closed, he gave me a .45"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 01, 2010, 10:42:03 am
"The other day I was reminded of a funny thing that happened to me a few months ago.

A pair of Americans came into the hospital, and when I found out they were Americans I had to ask them what they were doing in Denmark, seeing as we don’t have a whole lot to come after. They then explained that they had heard that Scandinavia had great skiing conditions, and that the flight to Denmark had been the cheapest, so that was what they had come for: Skiing. Great was their disappointment then, when they flew over Denmark and noticed that there was no snow, and not a single mountain in sight.
Yes, of all the Scandinavian countries they choose the one country that has no mountains. At all."
-Humon comics


Edit:
"The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn."
-Stephen King


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on October 02, 2010, 11:59:22 pm
"3: Make her open the box."

 :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on October 03, 2010, 02:05:54 am
"I am a man that can never die." -Senor Chang

"I AM A SPANISH GENIUS! MY KNOWLEDGE WILL BITE HER FACE OFF!" -Senor Chang


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 03, 2010, 03:06:31 am
Party hard!!!!! says (5:01 AM):
 he shoots a vampire. With his penis
necroticBohemian says (5:01 AM):
 Yes.
Party hard!!!!! says (5:01 AM):
 that's classic.

Sex Machine from "From Dusk Till Dawn" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jts0xxg7P8I) It's not literally his penis.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on October 04, 2010, 04:10:14 am
"Twilight's like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand." 


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 04, 2010, 05:47:14 am
"I summon thee from the depths of the nether"
-Me when digging up Internet Explorer


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on October 05, 2010, 06:36:21 pm
Toradora Opening:

"There's something in this world that no one has seen before. It is gentle and sweet. Maybe if it could be seen, everyone would fight over it. That's why no one has ever seen it. The world hid it so that no one could get their hands on it easily. However, someday, someone will find it. The person who deserves it the most will definitely find it."


I really like that. I think thats a great way to start off an anime, well anything really.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 06, 2010, 12:32:26 am
Best way to start an anime is tentacle rape. Hands down.

Tentacles down too.


All the way down.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on October 06, 2010, 01:16:55 pm
they would work better if they were up...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on October 07, 2010, 03:23:51 pm
If the tentacle monster is big enough, it can hold the girl upside down.

...
Not that I think about tentacle rape at any time, of course...

*Dodom is chaste and pure*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on October 07, 2010, 03:44:42 pm
Me - "It's Incubus."

Chris - "They suck."

Me - "Yeah, I don't really like them that much, but a lot of people do."

Chris - "A lot of people suck."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on October 13, 2010, 08:44:23 pm
I am what I've overcome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: PwntheNoob17 on October 14, 2010, 02:49:15 pm
"I made a pot of kool aid!
You don't make a pot of kool aid.
Well I did!
Is it hot?
Maybe, maybe not"

-Julian Smith


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on October 15, 2010, 04:22:47 am
GF: (Shouting at ironing pile at 11:20) YOU WILL BE DONE BY 12!
Me:Do you think that'll actually work?
GF: YES!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 15, 2010, 02:57:37 pm
"Christopher Columbus was not the first pale-faced invader from across the seas that the Native Americans had to deal with. Norse colonists had already staked their claim as many as five centuries earlier, as proven by archaeologists and by Norse legends of a place they called "Vinland," which turned out to be Canada. Incidentally, we would all be speaking Norwegian right now if the Native Americans hadn't sent them packing sometime around 1000 A.D."
-Cracked

Curses!!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on October 15, 2010, 03:40:04 pm
Actually, the Natives didn't send them away, the micro-ice-age did. Newfoundland is frighteningly far north, I wouldn't want to live there.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: B-Chan on October 15, 2010, 03:46:34 pm
Speaking of, this was my Facebook status on Columbus Day;

"Even though the mighty Norsemen were here well before ol' Christopher, it was Señor Columbus who was mighty enough to get me the day off."

They should call it "Ericson Day."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 15, 2010, 04:05:05 pm
Actually, the Natives didn't send them away, the micro-ice-age did. Newfoundland is frighteningly far north, I wouldn't want to live there.
Well, it was a mix, sorta.
The vikings weren't "driven off" or killed off.
It was simply, as you said, harsh climate that didn't exactly fit well for settlers and that the conflicts with the natives put pressure on them.
So the vikings were pretty much like "well, fuck this. Ain't worth it."
But I find it funny how one of the first documented uses of the word "skraeling" (which in today's Norwegian would be Skræling, though I think the Icelanders says something along those lines) was a word applied to Native Americans as the word translates to "weakling".
Today's use of that word in Norway is mostly "Skråling"(skraaling) though it is some places pronounced "Skræling" depending on accent.
Well, Icelanders speak proper Norwegian. We speak mutated offspring of old-norse and Danish. It becomes more Danish the further south you go, though it never sounds like we talk with potatoes in our mouths.
Take THAT non-existent active Danish forumites!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on October 15, 2010, 04:27:52 pm
Is it weird you're literally talking about Canada's history but the conversation is between a Norwegian and an American? Columbus was late. Very late. Vikings and actually (I wanna say Chinese) but some Asian explorers had already discovered the West Coast. Also, Newfoundland isn't even that north really compared to other parts of Canada its just with the Ocean right there. Also, why would it matter? People colonized Newfoundland eventually, although completely and utterly killing off a whole race of Native Americans in the process, but you know. It's not like anybody coming to Canada in that time killed off any other Native Americans, and it's not like Canada has just totally mistreated the Native Americans since Day 1 (same with America, All Native Americans have been given the shittiest treatment ever). People say Canada is great and blah blah blah, but our history is just as bloody as anybodies, if not more so. 


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on October 15, 2010, 04:43:26 pm
We did less evil than the USA because we had less power to do evil with.

There's a guy at work who has fun trying to catch me on my way to work and give me rides has been forced away from his family and raised in a pension school. Native kids there would forget their language and traditions - most of them would be sexually abused or merely beaten in the process - and be sent back to their people too old to truly adapt back. Many would develop depression and alcoholism, and the nations where this was most largely done are worse off than many third world countries. That's not something of forgotten centuries, that's from a generation that's still alive.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 15, 2010, 04:59:35 pm
The "China-America" thing is still just a hypothesis, though interesting nonetheless. And if it is true, then the Chinese beat Columbus with around 10 years I believe it was.
Yes, vikings were explorers and actually "discovered" America around 500 years before Columbus. My ancestors! Muhaha! Says the part-gypsie descendant.
Though the whole Norway-America thing is more of a brag about navigation and boats than anything else.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on October 15, 2010, 05:18:18 pm
In Canada they were called Residential schools, and they single handedly (along with the churches that ran them) killed off almost all of the Native Americans in Canada. A complete generation was almost completely destroyed, more so then the World Wars did with Canadians cause this affected both, girls and boys.

Also, Dodom where are you from?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on October 15, 2010, 05:19:11 pm
OT:

Me: DAMMIT JETRAY! I just looked in that thread... >.>


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on October 15, 2010, 05:21:31 pm
Québec. I don't know stuff under the same name as you because of language (everything I say in English is a translation!) but I'm talking about the same things.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on October 15, 2010, 05:29:29 pm
Oh okay, lol. For some reason I thought you were American, my bad. I'm just one left of you in Ontario, and well I've taken like 5 Canadian History classes and read a shit tonne on it (Since I fucking love History) and I don't know how bad the Residential Schools were in Quebec, but they were all over Canada I know that.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 15, 2010, 05:32:06 pm
OMG YOU LIEK HISTORY TOO!?!?!

That is cool...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 16, 2010, 01:30:06 pm
Do you remember me?
I killed your family
And now I'm going to kill you too

I made your brother bleed
I made your father scream
And I made your mother say those things she said to me

She said "do with me what you want but please don't hurt my family
Take my pride, take my life, take my body but don't take the ones that are close to me
Take my pride, take my life, take my body but don't take the ones that I love"

And I continued without mercy


-Andrew Jackson Jihad, Bad Bad Things.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 16, 2010, 04:56:47 pm
"I'm an asbestos cake filled with glass and syringes! BITE ME!!"
-Foamy


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on October 16, 2010, 11:47:57 pm
"I'm an asbestos cake filled with glass and syringes! BITE ME!!"
-Foamy

*approves*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 17, 2010, 07:36:30 am
"American booze is so bad I wouldn't even use it to wash my fingers!"
-My friend who is studying abroad in America.

The translation isn't completely accurate. It is a lot more "hate" in the Norwegian version of what he said.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on October 17, 2010, 01:11:14 pm
thats just their beer, its really watery compared to canadian beer anyway.

(YES I HAVE TASTED BOTH)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on October 17, 2010, 01:27:43 pm
I'm pretty sure Americans have nice beers too, just not the main brands.
I won't bother checking for the real numbers, but I'll bet about 75% of beer sold in Canada is either Molson or Labatt. That wouldn't make us look good to some visitor who is offered a beer from random people's fridge.*


*: This should not be interpreted as tourists getting free beer in Canada, but if you have the nerve to ask you'll probably find someone who'll oblige. I guess do go to Canada for free beer...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 17, 2010, 01:44:48 pm
I'm not sure, but I think he is talking about Spirits. (as in Distilled beverage, not souls)
Around where I live, people don't argue about the best beer but rather who makes the best spirits.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on October 17, 2010, 01:55:01 pm
yeah, America has good whiskey. Unless whiskeys not his thing... and if its not, then what the hell is he doing in murrika?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on October 17, 2010, 01:55:49 pm
why whisky? i have never tasted whisky that was good...
what about your vodkas?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 17, 2010, 02:02:14 pm
yeah, America has good whiskey. Unless whiskeys not his thing... and if its not, then what the hell is he doing in murrika?
He is an addict of Jack Daniels.
But I still suspect he is talking about home made stuff.
Us Norwegians loooooove illegal liquor.
Half of my earlier classmates will probably die of alcohol related illness.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on October 17, 2010, 02:05:28 pm
well, may I ask him to slow down on the Daniels?

cause people end up drinking WAY to much whiskey, then they cant stand the taste. Happened to bael, happened to Maxwell, im pretty sure it happened to Log or TLO or someone... and if he likes it, then he better slow down before he cant stand it anymore.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 17, 2010, 02:56:22 pm
Nope, I still drink whiskey, especially if it's Red Stag.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on October 17, 2010, 03:17:52 pm
"DO NOT SIT HERE
place of jesus's vomiting"

a piece of paper on a bed of my friend, a guy who looks exactly like jesus vomited there:D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 18, 2010, 11:56:08 am
I like telling dirty jokes,
and I like smoking crystal meth,
but darling I love you.

And I like laughing at retards,
and I like throwing rocks at dogs,
but darling I love you.

I love you like the moon and stars,
when little kids get hit by cars,
girl you know its true. Darling, I love you.
I've been tryin' to move on, since you left,
since you've been gone, but its so hard on me.
Talked to a girl in first hour, bought her a cd,
bought her a flower, but she's a stupid cunt.
But I'll take anything, and I'll take anyone.
I'll take an angry lesbian with a loaded gun.
I'll take a whore with syphilis and gonorrhea too.
But darling, I love you

--Andrew Jackson Jihad, I love you.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Lash2828 on October 18, 2010, 12:17:51 pm
"May I borrow your earpiece?" *voice change* "This is Scout. Rainbows make me cry. Over!"
-The Spy, TF2

Also, Jaegermeister~


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on October 18, 2010, 01:19:32 pm
Also, Jaegermeister~
Excelent EXCELENT!

I have also drinking whiskeys :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on October 18, 2010, 11:42:17 pm
Lol at what Log posted :P Love it :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on October 19, 2010, 01:33:20 pm
My friend: America has beer? Where do they hide it?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on October 19, 2010, 03:15:14 pm
They store it in their bladder until... huh... should I stop there?

Don't worry, they add bubbles at some point!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 19, 2010, 03:17:11 pm
I've given up on American beer. I have had beer that I didn't hate twice. Only twice. Ridiculous special microbrews that make you say "Well, that doesn't taste like beer at all."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on October 19, 2010, 03:20:55 pm
I like "heban" beer. gives you the aftertaste of black bread, and is quite good. apart from that, i like only the expensive, czech beers.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 19, 2010, 06:28:00 pm
I hear Yuengling makes good beer, but I've never had any as I don't like beer at all.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on October 19, 2010, 06:51:06 pm
I hear Yuengling makes good beer, but I've never had any as I don't like beer at all.

Yuengling is my choice of beer when I don't have Labatt Blue.

AND BACK ON TOPIC.


Dan Dreiberg: What happened to us? What happened to the American Dream?
Edward Blake: "What happened to the American Dream?" It came true! You're lookin' at it...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 19, 2010, 09:30:55 pm
Stephen:it was kind of loud, not embarrassing because I was home alone, and it all shot out fast. I was expecting liquid shit, but it was regular shit.

Me:That is just crazy. Miracles.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on October 19, 2010, 09:44:13 pm
Quote
  Altay says:
 I haz...
 A SS tickit
 So I r gun get on this boat nao
 No mattur wut yu say
Pose as a team. The world is real. says:
 waht?
  Altay says:
 I r got 2 get 2 vermullin sitteh
Pose as a team. The world is real. says:
 i shall miss yoo
 and im tallin u
  Altay says:
 I am a pokemon trainer
Pose as a team. The world is real. says:
 if you dun get on dat bote
 it wull b the biggest mistaek of ur laif u undertand me?
  Altay says:
 Yuss
 I am gun
 I am gun go beat
 The ovur
 Pokemon trainurz
 For yuo
Pose as a team. The world is real. says:
 hurz lukin at U, ked


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Major Cobalt on October 19, 2010, 10:53:17 pm
About her "talking on the phone in the library" incident...

Me: The irony of this situation is murdering me to death.
My friend: What irony? Why must you be so confusing?
Me: Oh man, it's gonna be a rockin' good time in January.
Her: Oh jeeze, can't wait. But seriously what's so ironic about this situation?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 20, 2010, 07:39:39 am
Zim: "Something is broken and it is not your fault?"
Gir: "I know. I am scared too..."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Ralion on October 20, 2010, 09:39:10 pm
(http://i55.tinypic.com/2qleflg.jpg)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 22, 2010, 09:36:52 am
"My sarcasm has gotten so dry to the point where now it's just basically lying." -Nick McHargue


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on October 22, 2010, 01:10:01 pm
Val Kilmer: "If you looked up idiot in the dictionary what would you find?"
Robert Downy Junior: "A picture of me?"
Val Kilmer: "No, the definition of the word idiot, which you are!"

God, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a great movie. I fucking love that part.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on October 23, 2010, 11:14:39 am
My response to someone on a political video calling me a "tale-spinner" (read: liar) when I quoted one of the people in the video verbatim:

"I'm really spinning up a mess of tales here, I do it so well I retroactively inserted into the clip."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 24, 2010, 03:13:10 pm
*Friends argue about the "best type of milk"
Oddvard: "Mothers milk!"
Lady friend 1: "Exactly!"
Lady friend 2: "Unfortunately I don't produce that."
Me: "*smirk* Maybe we should do something about it? HAHAHA(fake laughter)"
Lady friend 2: Maybe you should do something about it.
*big round of laughter*
Me: GLADLY!


Oh god, that was hilarious!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: PwntheNoob17 on October 24, 2010, 03:19:40 pm
"MMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKKKKK"

Julian Smith is a funny guy.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on October 24, 2010, 08:08:43 pm
Quote
Dominique sagt (03:52):
 I don't swallow...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 26, 2010, 11:39:22 am
"So I wanna know: If you were going to develop a new brand of pepper spray, what would you name it? What would your logo say on it? What makes your pepperspray so appealing?"
-Fluffetalks

One of the better answers:
"Stawberry flavored pepper spray and it would be called "surprise! buttseks" slogan would be "It hurts, but it hurts so good!"
-DawgSezMeaw


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on October 26, 2010, 10:34:35 pm
Me: Alright, Insurance company here's your check so that I can have insurance.
Insurance company: Thank you, Mr. McNabney, Enjoy your insurance.

Later...

IC: Mr. McNabney, we never got your check.
Me: Well, poop. I can't afford it any more. So I guess Imma cancel my insurance.
IC: Bummer.

Later...

IC: Do you think he's not looking? He's probably not looking. I'm doing it.

Me: WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THERE A NEGATIVE SYMBOL IN MY BANK ACCOUNT WHAT IS THIS WHY WHO THE WHAT IS THIS GOD DAMN FUCKING WHAT IS THIS FUCKING WHY


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on October 26, 2010, 11:47:51 pm
The way you said that story made me laugh, but the situation isn't funny >.>


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on October 27, 2010, 05:33:23 pm
Cereal is SRS BZNS!!!

(18:57:14) Dominique: Imma get my cereals... (I didn't, like, an hour ago)
(18:58:31) Cass': yes!
(18:58:33) Cass': you do that ^^
(18:59:18) Dominique: Well that was quick!
(19:01:11) Cass': well... it's not very complicated to get cereal right?
(19:01:29) Dominique: You'd be surprised!
(19:03:16) Cass': i doubt that
(19:03:45) Dominique: I had to assemble the milk from atoms!
(19:03:52) Dominique: Iron atoms!
(19:04:26) Dominique: It took the energy of a small nuclear bomb!
(19:04:38) Cass': .............
(19:04:59) Cass': and you just have that kinda power lying around?
(19:05:24) Dominique: That was the complicated part.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Major Cobalt on October 28, 2010, 09:36:27 pm
"Henceforth, Derek Holland shall be known as Walker, Texas Ranger"
-on Texas Rangers pitcher Derek Holland throwing 12 balls in a row in the 8th inning of World Series Game 2


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on October 28, 2010, 10:48:21 pm
"You have to be careful when you're conducting Carol Of The Bells. One time, I told the basses to hold out their dong. ... You just have to be very careful." ~Mr. Mitchell, my choir teacher. XD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on October 28, 2010, 11:53:34 pm
YAY! CE_GRAY IS BACK!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on October 31, 2010, 03:08:05 am
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils! - Louis Hector Berlioz
Everything I am not has turned me into everything I am.  -Anonymous


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on October 31, 2010, 12:53:45 pm
"You have to be careful when you're conducting Carol Of The Bells. One time, I told the basses to hold out their dong. ... You just have to be very careful." ~Mr. Mitchell, my choir teacher. XD

...What graaade are you iinnn?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on October 31, 2010, 03:48:22 pm
...What graaade are you iinnn?

I'm a senior now. XD I love my choir teacher.

YAY! CE_GRAY IS BACK!

For now...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on November 02, 2010, 01:15:14 pm
Jesus Christ on a cracker.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on November 02, 2010, 02:25:30 pm
Jesus Christ on a cracker.
with Pimento?

nom nom nom


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on November 02, 2010, 05:08:38 pm
Rorschach’s journal November 2, 2010
Yesterday marked the 25th anniversary of my death. Watching as day turns to night, and innocence turns to corruption. Children were teasing and scaring and being rewarded with candy. Not so different from evil, but except when evil teases and scares it receives money and respect. This city is haunted by its ghost. Different faces, same things. I have work to do.

-My Friend Facebook Status.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on November 02, 2010, 06:25:46 pm
My Friend's Facebook Status:

I feel as though facebook made this text smaller so when girls go on really long rants we can all read all of it and laugh at them without having to click a button well done facebook.

(My friend talking about the new facebook update)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Major Cobalt on November 02, 2010, 07:29:04 pm
I thought maybe I had just fucked up how far zoomed in I was. Huh. So that's an update, then.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on November 03, 2010, 12:55:06 am
More or less:

Come back with your shield, or on it
- Spartan mother to her son as he goes to war

Rome - Total War has such amazing quotes.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on November 03, 2010, 04:33:08 am
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-George Santayana

That is the quote I LIVE by!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Rampito on November 03, 2010, 05:35:18 am
I laugh at people who think they are so pro but fail harder than a midget trying to get a giraffe to give him fellatio at full height. -One of my friend's facebook status. I laughed for a while when I saw it  :-X


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on November 03, 2010, 08:35:55 am
More or less:

Come back with your shield, or on it
- Spartan mother to her son as he goes to war

Rome - Total War has such amazing quotes.

dude, you didnt have that in your history class?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on November 03, 2010, 08:50:05 am
In Canada, we have Canadian History.
The closest I got to Spartan history was part of 300 in my business course. Or to history in that area of the world for that matter.

Probably to any non-Canadian history.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on November 03, 2010, 09:12:54 am
Canadian history?
"First there were like Inuits. Then Vikings came a messed stuff up but then just left.
Then there was French..."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on November 03, 2010, 10:19:22 am
I got western civilisation history before moving on to canadian history... I liked the ancient parts, because it talked about technology and its ties to historical progression; how new agricultural methods or better tools would enable later events, ties between economy, culture and demography... well, that was a minor part of the course but I suffered the rest for it.
I hated the colonial times. "Colombus sailed in 2405 and made first contact with the Vulcans" err you guessed I didn't really learn that part. Names of famous people and dates of famous events were rather uninteresting and I only memorised them long enough to pass the year.
Then in high school history began to make sense again, it started back a little before renaissance and on to the seventies and would again explain HOW things happened, not only that they did. I had economy classes at the same time and loved to see how concepts from one reflected on the other.

But one thing geography and history didn't tell me was: what the hell is Manitoba? It's a large province, easy to spot on the map, but school never said more about it than the fact it's there. I assume it has corn. And a moon laser.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on November 03, 2010, 10:43:34 am
Columbus leaves for America in 395 years?  :angel:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on November 03, 2010, 10:52:05 am
Yeah, how could he leave now, when warp drive isn't invented yet?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on November 03, 2010, 10:55:42 am
True true...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on November 03, 2010, 01:51:26 pm
Canadian history?
"First there were like Inuits. Then Vikings came a messed stuff up but then just left.
Then there was French..."

So wrong it hurts...

Yeah, I talked about Eastern History a tiny bit before high school, then it was mostly Canadian History. Any other stuff I learned was from my own time reading and stuff.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on November 03, 2010, 01:57:35 pm
So wrong it hurts...

Yeah, I talked about Eastern History a tiny bit before high school, then it was mostly Canadian History. Any other stuff I learned was from my own time reading and stuff.
Sorry. I forgot to add "And then there were Brits all up in this shit!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on November 03, 2010, 02:02:18 pm
Now its okay.


Honestly though, Canada and America were very divided, and then all the wars and such and the Native Americans and all that. It doesn't seem like much, but its a lot of history.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on November 03, 2010, 02:05:09 pm
not as awesome as what was happening in europe at the time though:P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on November 03, 2010, 03:05:29 pm
Yes, Poland was getting screwed by everyone  :eyeroll:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on November 03, 2010, 04:02:37 pm
Huh?.... in our history class, we didn't learn much about anything else, beside the rise of America, and how we kicked so much ass.
There been only one history class where my teacher only once mentioned the white house being burnt down by the British and Canadians :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on November 03, 2010, 04:08:08 pm
Huh?.... in our history class, we didn't learn much about anything else, beside the rise of America, and how we kicked so much ass.
There been only one history class where my teacher only once mentioned the white house being burnt down by the British and Canadians :D
You know, here in Norway there is this joke that Americans "generally" are so geographically inept that they think Norway is the capital city of Sweden.  :eyeroll:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on November 03, 2010, 04:09:39 pm
Huh?.... in our history class, we didn't learn much about anything else, beside the rise of America, and how we kicked so much ass.
There been only one history class where my teacher only once mentioned the white house being burnt down by the Canadians :D

fix'd


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on November 03, 2010, 04:13:54 pm
I recall the soldiers were British.
Also, there was this tornado thing that happened which screwed over things for the British while burning the building.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on November 03, 2010, 04:14:15 pm
Yes, Poland was getting screwed by everyone  :eyeroll:


untill XVII century, it was poland that was doing the screwing. ahhh, the beautiful times of the first republic....
btw, do you know that poland was the only country ever to conquare and hold moscow? we even managed to get there our own puppet prince/king/tsar, (dunno how to call that) and he lasted for a couple years.

real screwing of poland begun about in the '20s of XVII century.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on November 03, 2010, 04:20:44 pm
I thought it was just Canadian troops, oh well. Also it said a storm not a tornado.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on November 03, 2010, 04:24:26 pm
it was george bush.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on November 03, 2010, 05:08:58 pm
GTFO THE POLITICS AND GO POST IT IN THE RANDOM THOUGHTS THREAD.


Jack MacReady: Where is the Mr. Pibb? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb. It's the only Coke I like. Goddamn Brenda exploding like a water balloon, worms driving my friends around like they're goddamn skin-cars, people are spitting acid at me, turning you into cottage cheese, and now there's no fucking goddamn Mr. Pibb?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on November 05, 2010, 01:54:18 am
There should be no word such as "loved". Love has no past tense. If you ever stop loving someone, then you never truly loved them in the first place.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on November 05, 2010, 09:11:19 am
If you try to define love as something unattainable by humans, then love doesn't exist.



And because this is the quote thread:
"You can disagree with Hitler's methods but you have to admit it had to be done!"
- Why you should not discuss anything serious with idiots.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 05, 2010, 11:56:12 am
I thought it was just Canadian troops, oh well. Also it said a storm not a tornado.

As far as I was told, it was a British commander who basically went to the Americas and gave guns to anyone with a grudge against the USA. Mainly Indians and Canadians.

There should be no word such as "loved". Love has no past tense. If you ever stop loving someone, then you never truly loved them in the first place.

What about is the lover is now dead?

EDIT-

This shirt is stylish and functional, in that it looks nice and it comes with a guarantee that you will not be eaten by a Sphynx while wearing it. Guarantee does not apply if shirt is worn inside-out or if wearer is attacked from behind before shirt can be identified. Virus Comix is not responsible for enforcing guarantee. Please do not email Virus Comix if your cousin got eaten while wearing the shirt. Your cousin's a jerk, he probably deserved it, okay?!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on November 06, 2010, 01:20:29 am
It was just a quote I saw and liked, mostly because I believe people say "I love you" too much.
I do believe that if you were in love with someone and they died, that you would still love them.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 06, 2010, 06:18:28 am
Fair enough, it is an overused sentence. But yeah, I meant if the person doing the loving died. As in 'She loved him right until the end'.

EDIT-

'Get advice and support on how to Make a Tricorne Pirate Hat, and other life goals.'

This website is so true...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: SharpArcher01 on November 10, 2010, 03:00:37 am
Fair enough, it is an overused sentence.


Man, you can never have too much love. We need more love.

FEEL THE LOVE PEOPLE.

(tears off shirt)

FEE~EEL THE LOOOOOVE~

LEEETTTT THE SUNSHIIIIIINE, LEEEEETTT THE SUNSHINE INNN....


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on November 10, 2010, 02:34:47 pm
a comment found on another webcomic

"Cat rule #20: Gravity is just a suggestion."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gunpowder on November 10, 2010, 03:21:32 pm
"Where's my SPORK?!?!?!  Where is it?!?!?!"
---My friend who is on a perpetual sugar high said this while dragging me across the school.

And you know...that's a NORMAL occurrence.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 10, 2010, 05:18:55 pm

Man, you can never have too much love. We need more love.

Agreed that we need more love, but people often say "I love you" when they don't.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on November 13, 2010, 12:55:58 am
Quote
is one of them making JELLO?
I cant decide on a GOOD picture
caaaause in reality im ugly as balls
this one im relatively still kinda cute...
WAIT
UUHH
FOOT
BALL
MURRIKA
GEARS OF WAR
HALO
CALL OF DUTY
SPACE MARINES
VIKINGS
MAAAANLYYYYY
GUNS
GUNS
TITS
BEER

Me having a conversation with Waytouy abut something as menial as facebook avvies.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on November 13, 2010, 06:33:04 am
"Political Views:
I ♥ LOOT"

My friend's facebook.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 17, 2010, 05:23:01 pm
Bookfacespace photo comments.

Rhiannon- Spoon?

Luke- Spoooooooooon.

Ruth- Where is that spoon coming from? Is it Ben?

Myriam- Yes, i guess it's him :p

Tamsin- We hope its him and not some random spoon :O ....

Luke- The spoon has developed psychic powers, and simply commanded Ben to carry it into shot. It later devoured his soul. It tasted like paper.

Tamsin- The spoons shall take over the world, and command all !
I would have thought that Bens soul would taste more like some kind of unidentified vegtable.

Ruth- Root vegetable?

Luke- Spoons have a very underdevelopled sense of taste, to them everything is papery.

Tamsin- I dont know it's unidentified. But it may be from somewhere close to nowhere

Tamsin- Surly a spoon would only taste cold metal- so basicly the spoon is john ..... :O WHAT !

Ruth- Wait, so Jon is a psychic spoon who can control Ben with the power of his mind, and who also likes to eat Ben sometimes? What?

Myriam- ohhh noo, all except that!!

Luke- A psychic spoon made of PAPER!

Tamsin- So the psychic spoon is made of paper, and is Jon in another personality. This spoon controlls Ben or otherwise consumes curry. And Myriam is very worried about this situation.

Luke- And so should we all...

Tamsin- what be controlled by spoons, eat curry or be worried?

Luke- Yes to all three.

Tamsin- But should you consider the curry, you need to order it 3 times, and find they have none of the above.

Jonathan- At this stage I will not confirm or deny that I am or have any connection to this spoon. That is all.

Benjamin- the spoon knows all! the spoon sees all! the spoon devours all!

Jonathan- The time for quiet is now, but soon the time of the Spoon will begin. Hail Spoon.

Benjamin- it is a sign! we must collect spoons and worship him!

Jonathan- No, it is a sign that we must destroy all false Spoons, so the one true spoon will rise.

Benjamin- yes of course you are right! and the one spoon will gather un to him 12 followers, and they shall be known as his forks, for forks shall they be. All shalt love and adore him! and he shalt say: 2 commandments shalt i give to thee only ; spoon thy neighbour(s daughter), fork others as though would wish to be forked!

Jonathan- Hail Spoon.

Benjamin- hail spoon

Jonathan- I have communed with the GREAT SKY SPOON BEAST*, and it is greatly displeased at you Benjamin Rees for your lack of capitals. The punishment... No custard you the next 78 minutes. HAIL SPOON!

Jonathan- * yes the SPOON BEAST is GREAT, and lives in the SKY (plus on the MOON**).

Jonathan- ‎** THE GREAT SKY SPOON BEAST can exist both in the SKY and on the MOON at the same time. Mostly due to reasons involving SEA WIZARDS, so there. HAIL SPOON!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on November 19, 2010, 07:08:29 am
"we make all this fuss about fetuses' rights, then as soon as the kid is out of the womb we start cutting up his dick..."
-Some Youtuber


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on November 20, 2010, 03:09:37 am
I wish I had a girlfriend.
Under this romantic, star-filled sky, I would press my oxygen-intake port against her delicate speech generator.
Beep!

Mokka - Magical Starsign


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on November 21, 2010, 03:57:06 pm
Dominique sagt (22:51):
 They can be eaten later, it's not like human flesh
Cass' sagt (22:53):
 human flesh can only be eaten now?
Dominique sagt (22:55):
 If you're too slow it runs away.
Cass' sagt (22:56):
 lol


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on November 24, 2010, 12:21:49 am
I once saw a Jazz group at a festival called Razzmajazz. It was awesome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on November 25, 2010, 04:55:31 pm
Quote
(17:21:11) Dominique: ...
(17:21:18) Dominique: You'll quote this won't you?
(17:21:51) Cass': no
(17:21:55) Cass': you will
(17:22:06) Cass': ^_^
(17:22:59) Dominique: No. *frowns*
(17:23:50) Cass': *bites*
(17:23:52) Cass': yes
(17:23:54) Cass': you will
(17:27:02) Dominique: NO

 :humpingparrot:

Edit:
Quote
(17:15:51) Dominique: You have ideas...
(17:16:01) Dominique: I tend to spell "ideas" as "idead"
(17:16:22) Dominique: That sounds like a product Apple could launch after the zombies come.
That was the actual quote. But since Cass was nagging me to post it I quoted him nagging me instead, just to annoy him. Now he's in bed so he won't see the edit until tomorrow! :p


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on November 26, 2010, 01:21:17 pm
<_<

b*tch!!

:P

^^


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: musclecars60 on November 26, 2010, 08:26:44 pm
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
-Unknown


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on November 27, 2010, 08:49:50 am
....

your mom is twice as big as she needs to be!!

xD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on November 28, 2010, 02:53:13 pm
"Toradora is win"
-Someone on Chatango

Edit:

"i absolutely loath my penis, that's why i try to hide it as often as i can inside various women"
-A friend


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on November 29, 2010, 03:50:30 pm
From a Bookfacespace quiz:

10. When the word 'red' comes into mind, what do you think of?
* Communisim
* The blood of my enemy running down my mouth
* Columbine
* The United States
* Blood

Yeah...   :angel:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Major Cobalt on November 29, 2010, 09:41:28 pm
-"Why do I need to know how to take the triple integral of a constant k the distance formula from the origin of a 3-D sphere and be able to find the mass, the center of mass, and the moment of inertia along the z-axis?"
-"How do you not know that? I use it every time I try to find the perfect cantaloupe at Kroger.'

Two of my friends on Facebook. I lol'd.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on November 29, 2010, 09:42:45 pm
“The Beatles exist apart from my Self. I am not really Beatle George. Beatle George is like a suit or shirt that I once wore on occasion and until the end of my life people may see that shirt and mistake it for me.” - George Harrison


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on December 04, 2010, 01:52:58 am
Quote
listen,     offers sexual shit for the low, low price of any self-esteem remaining.
that's not what I want.
ever.
I want what I had two weeks ago.
more than anything in the world.
'cept air.
Air's good.
and cheeseburgers.
still, requited love comes a close third after those.
becuase unrequited love is for chumps.

~Waytouy.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on December 04, 2010, 01:57:07 am
"Toradora is win"
-Someone on Chatango

That someone is pretty damn smart and has great taste.
He's probably sitting on a throne of bundles of $20 bills.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 04, 2010, 05:24:12 am
Morning!-An idiot Viking
Danke Shune- A German Doctor
The Human Race can Hear yet they refuse to listen, thats what makes us idiots, The way we can't understand - I actually Made this Quote!



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 05, 2010, 01:22:01 am
That's the stuff nightmares are made of.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Synaster on December 05, 2010, 01:38:57 am
"Man who stands on toilet is high on pot". Lol. I don't know who came up with that "Chinese proverb".


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 07, 2010, 12:42:33 am
Yeah, it's a little small, but I'd take it any day.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on December 07, 2010, 01:39:49 am
And Log makes it sound dirty. But funny.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 07, 2010, 06:09:34 pm
Luke- Another new profile layout? Argh, I haven't even finished getting used to the current one yet...

Jamie- <luke smash! luke smash! arrrrrg!> ?

Luke More like "Luke confused. Luke click random buttons and swear at Facebook for about ten minutes before finally finding what he was looking for." but the essence of it is the same, yeah.

Drew- Luke want biscuit? Fetch, Luke!

Jamie-
This reminds me of one of those awesome 90s Txt-command RPGs - "go to biscuit tin.
<you are at the biscuit tin>
Open biscuit tin.
<Trap Disarmed! The biscuit tin is open>
take biscuit.
...<how many would you like to take?>
One please.
<you take (1) Crunchy Biscuit>
Equip Biscuit
<Do you wish to equip Crunchy Biscuit (1) 2H for +3 ATK, -2 DEF ?>
No, replace Wolf Shield with Biscuit.
<Crunchy Biscuit (1) Equipped>
Leave room.
<you open the door, and go outside....>
LOADING
<you are outside the Troll Kitchen in the Stone Village, armed with Spiked Earth Mace (1H) and Crunchy Biscuit (1) and wearing Moon Ring (3). Your horse, [BATTLE MANE] is standing nearby and there are (6) villagers going about their tasks and (3) Town Guard watching the Elders' Hall>
Mount Horse.
<You mount [BATTLE MANE]>
Ride to Slabraghar.
<The journey across the mountains will take 15 days. Do you want to ride?>
Yes.
LOADING - [running_horse.gif]
<you arrive in Slabraghar, but as you enter the outskirts (1) Viking Beserker leaps out to confront you!>
LOADING BATTLE
<The Viking Beserker (1) is faster than you and batters you for 16 Damage with its Bull Hammer !>
Throw the Crunchy Biscuit.
<The Viking Beserker (1) catches the Crunchy Biscuit and instantly becomes a happy-yet-hairy piglet covered in runes, frolicking through the lush, wooded forests of Slabraghar never to be seen again>
VICTORY! YOU GET (1) WISDOM!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 08, 2010, 08:44:47 am
Some of my Unlimited mountain of Dragon related quotes.

Isin't it weird to think your hand was inisde the dragon? - Fishlegs
I need to end this, I have to try, just promise me If something goes wrong just make sure they don't find Toothless. - Hiccup Horrendous Hadock III
And there go my eyebrows. - Hiccup Horrendous Hadock III
NO!NO! SON OF A HALF-TROLL, RAT EATING, MUNGE BUCKET! - Astrid

I have hundreds of Dragon related quotes.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 09, 2010, 11:47:43 am
"I will set time itself on fire." (http://www.thezombiehunters.com/forum/index.php?topic=9.msg84465#msg84465)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on December 09, 2010, 02:56:52 pm
I got wood.  :D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 09, 2010, 02:58:40 pm
It was all a trick? A Lie? - A viking
They've killed HUNDREDS of US! AND WE'VE KILLED THOUSANDS OF THEM! - A heated argument between 2 vikings, about dragons.
Then why? Pray tell, throughout his vicious pummeling did Arty insist he need 10K? -  Max the Lagomorph, hyper kinetic rabbit.
He didn't need 10K, HE WAS RUNNING 10 K-ILOMETERS FOR CHARITY! - Tycho.
Well they need toothpicks don't they? - Gobber.
Because I want to remember what you say, right here right now. - Astrid.

The list goes on....


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 12, 2010, 01:06:15 am
Stranger: I have a big dick ;)
You: how big
Stranger: 8 inches
You: that sounds huge like real big
Stranger: How big was the one you jerked off?
You: hold on let me go ask my dad.

Omegle niiiiight!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 12, 2010, 03:40:51 am
I could have counted the candle marks but I only saw the flame. - Also Me. (I get around)
But their friendship was growing thinner as there unholy unsion in the Summer had tainted the bond. - Me, this is a line from a book I wrote

Person: What my dad wouldn't give to find this.
Creature thinking: You better hope he never does. - My thought on what the Dragon was thinking in HTTYD.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on December 12, 2010, 01:09:17 pm
Narrator: "The childhood friend that she fatefully reunited with after all these years, was an Otaku. Ah, to hell with you, fate."
-Beginning of Genshiken episode 2.
One of the best pieces of narration ever   :laugh:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 12, 2010, 01:15:28 pm
Nice quote.

My favourite quote is in Icelandic.

Oh, guðanna hata mig. Sumir víkingar missa hníf í mál þeirra, en nei ég þurfti að missa heilt dreka!
TRANSLATION
Oh the Gods hate me. Some vikings manage to lose their mug or their knife. Not me, I manage to lose an entire dragon!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on December 12, 2010, 01:22:45 pm
Technically, on my part, that didn't need much translation.
Icelanders speak Norwegian after all.  :eyeroll:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 12, 2010, 01:45:13 pm
I didn't know Icelandic but even then I was able to tell some of the words. That language looks fun.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on December 12, 2010, 01:47:01 pm
Because it is Norwegian  ;)
Norwegian ist zie funneh!

Icelanders speak more Norwegian than Norwegians.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 12, 2010, 01:48:20 pm
I thought that ist was German/Deutschland.
And I can guess that stuff you just wrote ment "Norwegian is lots of Fun"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on December 12, 2010, 01:54:42 pm
Mix between German and poor English(funneh=funny in poor grammar)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 13, 2010, 02:37:46 am
"Qwop sounds like a racial slur"
"Then this fuckign Qwop doesn't know how to run."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 13, 2010, 09:25:06 am
Andrew
Just over 14 hours to get a 2000 worder on Romans done and dusted. I guess this is where reading Asterix pays off...

Eleanor In this case, indeed, the answer may be 'Getafix'

Andrew
Well, I'm rather dogamtix about finishing this one, although my pace is getting rather geriatrix. However, the decent amount of cacofonix is acting as a panacea against any soporifix effects. Although, I saddly don't think this essay is gonna hand me a chrismus bonus. mind you, I may be o'veroptimistix about the whole thing...

EDIT-

"I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you."

-Capt. Malcolm Reynolds


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 15, 2010, 03:01:13 am
See, andrew
When you get to a point where you're about to skewer tits
You have to say "is this sexually pleasing to both parties?"
If the answer is no
You need to check your math.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 15, 2010, 09:55:45 am
I will get you, and It will look like a bloody accident too! - Anglophilic Cat in The Hat.
Oh I see, I've chopped it off. Well thats interesting because.... *Holds up tail in front of Face* SON OF A BI*** - Also Anglophilic Cat in The Hat
Magical Time Travelling Elves! *Stare blankly at him*  Ok they're my lawyers. - Normal Cat In The Hat.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Major Cobalt on December 16, 2010, 05:05:53 pm
"Qwop sounds like a racial slur"
"Then this fuckign Qwop doesn't know how to run."

Oh God that game.
Too much effort put into it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 16, 2010, 05:40:46 pm
"If she had taken the rip as Hannah Montana, nobody would've known about this."

Highest rated comment on the video of Miley Cyrus smoking salvia.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 17, 2010, 04:26:55 am
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. - Rodney Dangerfield


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 21, 2010, 01:10:18 pm
smoking salvia.

I thought that said saliva for a minute there and was all like 'What? How do you even...?"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on December 21, 2010, 01:29:46 pm
"If she had taken the rip as Hannah Montana, nobody would've known about this."

Highest rated comment on the video of Miley Cyrus smoking salvia.
i watched the video thanks to you. not amusing, but she has an evil laughter:D


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 21, 2010, 02:29:29 pm
The man who fights too long against dragons will become a dragon himself. - Anonymous
The food chain, YOUR DOING IT WRONG. - Anonymous
Dat-da-dah! We're dead! - Hiccup
Thank you for the breast-hat. - Hiccup
The *sun* was in my eyes, Astrid! What do you want me to do, block out the sun? I can do that you know! - Snotlout
What little food grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here, even more so. - Hiccup

(click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on December 21, 2010, 02:36:15 pm
The man who fights too long against dragons will become a dragon himself. - Anonymous
That is just a silly remake of an already existing saying.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 21, 2010, 03:33:37 pm
Whats the existing saying?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on December 21, 2010, 03:46:47 pm
"When fighting monsters, you often become one yourself".

There are several ways to put it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ensouls on December 21, 2010, 07:32:22 pm
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. -Nietzsche


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 22, 2010, 02:21:54 am
That adyss one (For some reason) is very easy to remember.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on December 22, 2010, 04:15:54 am
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. -Nietzsche
eh, it mutates since people like using it but doesn't try to remember it correctly.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 22, 2010, 04:41:04 am
I have heard it said that if you listen to led zeppelin classic stairways backwards, it says Satan...... Yeah, well if you say God Jesus backwards, do you know what you get???? Think about it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on December 22, 2010, 04:51:26 am
sausage?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on December 22, 2010, 04:58:20 am
Sausage dog.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 22, 2010, 11:43:58 am
Delicious.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 22, 2010, 12:13:47 pm
Why did my mom get me a squirrel shaver for christmas? - Fred.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on December 22, 2010, 05:13:01 pm
For shaving squirrels?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on December 22, 2010, 11:38:33 pm
Quote
10:36 PM - NODJKQR: i can see it now
10:36 PM - NODJKQR: crooked meat walls
10:36 PM - MANTABOLISM: OH GOD ME TOO
10:36 PM - NODJKQR: unpuffed puff pastry
10:36 PM - MANTABOLISM: YEAH
10:36 PM - NODJKQR: cheez wizz fucking EVERYWHERE
10:36 PM - MANTABOLISM: well get
10:37 PM - NODJKQR: OH GOD
10:37 PM - MANTABOLISM: well get rylie to do everything
10:37 PM - NODJKQR: EVERYWHEEEEERE
10:37 PM - NODJKQR: ITS IN MY BRAAAAAIN
10:37 PM - MANTABOLISM: AAHAHAHAHA
10:37 PM - NODJKQR: IM FULL OF CHEEZ WIZZ
10:37 PM - NODJKQR: what
10:37 PM - NODJKQR: IM FULL OF CHEEZE WIZZ
10:38 PM - NODJKQR: RADICAL WIZZECTOMY!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zog on December 23, 2010, 07:41:04 pm
friend -Ugh, this place is a total sausagefest tonight.
me -Yeah, they should just rename it "Bonehenge" and expect a completely different clientele.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 24, 2010, 09:21:19 am
Like dogs? Vikings? Dragons? PLEASE SAY DRAGONS.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 25, 2010, 12:52:23 pm
Quote from: My older brother
I got to come in to work today so that i could set up a TV for a woman who didn't feel like spending the day in one of her 6 rooms. Merry Christmas.


Fuck white people.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Major Cobalt on December 25, 2010, 02:21:37 pm
"Hey, here's my two weeks notice. It's two weeks and one day late, so my last day was technically yesterday. Sorry. Suck my dick."
-What I would have said if I were your brother


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 25, 2010, 02:34:43 pm
Nah, he loves the job, and thinks his boss is a really cool dude. He's only working today because his boss has Gout or got it or whatever and can't actually walk.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on December 25, 2010, 04:22:59 pm
"Girls cry with Naruto and a Man with One Piece!"
-Slayerx49


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on December 25, 2010, 09:36:29 pm
I tend to dislike long conversation quotes because they're less funny to people who don't personnally know the participants and don't share the mood they happened in, but I think the world should know what Cass has to put up with when chatting with me:
Quote
(12:14:07) Dominique: You're lucky to have a friend like me! Another girl could just go and confuse you or something!
(12:14:44) Cass': ô.o
(12:14:55) Cass': .........
(12:15:03) Cass': you are so beyond words sometimes :P
(12:16:03) Dominique: I make so much sense that words aren't really needed to understand?
(12:20:41) Dominique: No?
(12:20:59) Cass': no
(12:21:05) Dominique: Damn, I tend to fucking hack at my enter key, it'll fall off someday!
(12:21:32) Dominique: type-type-type-type-type-type-type-type-type-type-type-type-type-type-HACK
(12:22:04) Cass': lol
(12:22:07) Cass': poor enter key
(12:24:16) Dominique: Though maybe it likes to be the important one! The one who confirms that a sentence is worth saying, and the mightiest when calling up program functions!
(12:24:34) Dominique: That enter key is the one that says: "I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!"
(12:24:56) Dominique: Unlike that capslock key, who's only pretending.
(12:25:54) Dominique: Anyway... it's ok to press it hard! It feels grandiose inside and would punch you too if it could, only because of its massive amount of testosterone!
(12:26:46) Dominique: You have to take pregnant and breastfeeding women out of the room just to press it, that's just how manly it is.
(12:28:20) Cass': lol
(12:28:24) Cass': you are soooo crazy
(12:28:43) Dominique: o_0<
(12:29:12) Cass': is there an arrow stuck in your head?
(12:30:33) Dominique: An arrow of crazy. You shot it there. With your ever so dirty mouth!
(12:32:38) Cass': lol
Oh and this followed the story of the king-magii superhero team splitting up after one of them fell in love with Boddicea and founded the Persian-Celtic empire of bare-chested men and bisexuality. It's all in the bible.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: BrainBlow on December 27, 2010, 05:17:27 pm
Reader Question: Oda-sensei. Since Luffy is a Gomu Human, does that mean his "p*nis" can stretch, too?

Eiichiro Oda: His penis can stretch too.



Reader Question: Okay, there's something I need to ask you about, Odacchi. I was reading WANTED! (Odacchi's one-shot collection) today, and I was wondering, doesn't it seem like a bunch of your characters pick their noses a lot? (P.N. Pleasure)

Eiichiro Oda: Yeah, they do. Pick, pick, picky. So you wonder why... well, doesn't everyone pick their nose? The other mangakas just have their cameras pointed away when it happens. If you don't pick your nose... your boogers would collect up!! Oh dear... another dirty topic. Printing this kind of stuff makes all the female readers cringe. It'll happen again. But the guys laugh their asses off! Right?! Okay, next.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 28, 2010, 12:32:20 pm
And the bitches would be purple after I got done with them.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: jared on December 28, 2010, 12:44:22 pm
Quote
I only have two tantrums a year, both just happen to last six months
I don't remember who said this, it was some famous actress who died of an overdose or somethng


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on December 28, 2010, 02:03:16 pm
Thats like my little brother, he has tantrums, in his sleep, shopping, eating, the toilet, games, outside, inside, anywhere, everwhere, someplace, Russia.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RD_Blade on January 03, 2011, 12:39:24 am
"To my Bat-Pole!"

"Oh, I'm a sidekick, short and lean, I'll be replace when I'm eighteen!"

-Ragdoll

I may be posting up some funny caps of Secret Six comics. The latest run is just too epic.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on January 04, 2011, 01:03:02 pm
"You don't remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened."
-John Green (An Abundance of Katherines)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on January 04, 2011, 02:12:36 pm
"Leon S. Kennedy. This is the guy they send when Snake is screwing around with those metal gears of his.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on January 05, 2011, 06:47:01 pm
Quote
  DOUBLE RAINBOW   says:
 SOCIAMABLES
Keith says:
 sociublurg?
  DOUBLE RAINBOW   says:
 what?
 no
Keith says:
 im confused
  DOUBLE RAINBOW   says:
 I WANT CRACKERS
 BUT
 FANCY CTRACKERS
Keith says:
 SUCCESFUL CRACKERS
 CRACKERS WITH AMBITION
  DOUBLE RAINBOW   says:
 CRACKERS THAT GOT A PAIR
 THAT HAVE THE GALL TO SAY
 "GUESS WHAT? FUCK YOU AND YOUR AZAELEAS"
 AND STOMP THE SHIT OUT OF THEM
 AND THEN ASH THEY TALL THIS STORY TO THE SHOESHINE BOY (THAT WAS MOST DEFINATLEY SOME SNOT NOSED PUNK ON THE STREET HE MADE INTO A SHOESHINE BOY)
 HELL BE KICKING HIM IN THE TEETH AS HE DOES SO
Keith says:
 INDEED
 THATS THE KIND OF CRACKER I CAN RESPECT


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Major Cobalt on January 12, 2011, 06:18:55 pm
Friend: Man this pudding taste like dick
Friend's girlfriend: And how would you know what dick tastes like?
Friend: Well I've kissed you before haven't I?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on January 18, 2011, 09:16:35 pm
Quote
Altay says:
 I'm hungry...
  DOUBLE RAINBOW   says:
 go eat a dinosaur
Altay says:
 Already did
  DOUBLE RAINBOW   says:
 whale?
Altay says:
 Tried that
  DOUBLE RAINBOW   says:
 a bigger whale.
Altay says:
 They get sticky
  DOUBLE RAINBOW   says:
 k...
 bigger whale sammich?
Altay says:
 I SAID
 IT GETS STICKY


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 18, 2011, 09:17:54 pm
*Insert Joke about sperm whales*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on January 19, 2011, 12:18:40 am
Quote
me: IM RUNNING AROUND EATING EVERTHING I KILL
Sent at 11:14 PM on Tuesday
Keith : WHAT ABOUT THE THINGS YOU INJURE?
me: ... Get out.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on January 20, 2011, 01:45:20 pm
Quote:

They'll see you as sick or insane and go after the thougher challenges/vikings/teenagers/children/bananas.

Stupid perverted dragon, typical when you share your mind with something that could border on the edge of insanity.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on January 20, 2011, 09:55:19 pm
Quote
me: DUDE
REMEMBER THE JETSONS
HIS CAR
TURNED INTO A FUCKING BREIFCASE
THAT SHIT HAPPENED
Keith: WHAT IF HIS WIFE STAYED IN THE CAR
OR HE OPENED HIS BRIEFCASE AT WORK
BAD SCENE MAN...
Quote
yay paper planes
...hey
you're
i might be
a lil drun
kkkbut listen for a second.d
OKAy?
You're
a champion
among
whatever you are
canadians.
them.
An
one day
you;re gonna go fight the north Koreans, man
but DON'T KILL ANYBODY
you don't need that on your conscience ust shoot them in the knees
then they'll go home and commit suepdk
seepik
supikokkj
...
they'll stab themselves with butter knvies outta shame
and then
YOU'LL SAVE THE WORLD.

WAYTOUY GO HOME, YOURE DRUNK.



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Waytouy on January 24, 2011, 03:33:42 am
WAYTOUY GO HOME, YOURE DRUNK.



I'm not drunk. YOU'RE DRUNK.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on January 24, 2011, 03:34:48 am
YOURE BACK!
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

*HUGS LIKE MAD*

QUICK GO MAKE AN INTRO POST BEFORE TLO STAPLES YOU IN THE BRAIN!
Quote
Way: DO I HAVE TO INTRO POST?
D:

Stan: DO IT
DO IT NAAAAO

Way: I ALREADY DID WHEN THE FORUM RE-ALIVED

Stan: YOURE DRUNK ITLL BE FUNNY

Way: I'LL DRINK TILL THIS IS FUNNY.
IT'S ALREADY FUNNY?

Stan: mmhmm

Way: KEEP. DRINKING.

Stan: k

Way: Now, I think we have to accept that I have a serious problem.
I'M OUT OF BAILEY'S.

2:35am
Stan: yeah thats a problem alright


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on January 24, 2011, 02:24:21 pm
The Redqueen - I've been a bad, bad girl.
Me - So if the world were to suddenly catch fire or implode, you're saying that red helmet would protect you?
Friend - Yep!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on January 24, 2011, 02:34:53 pm
Me to DarkMilly on msn:

"I'm sure thats how you pick up chicks in the pokemon world. You go find the best mother fucking Mareep, make it look bitchin, then the women just fucking flock to you."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on January 24, 2011, 03:20:47 pm
i'd go for butterfree + sleep powder.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on January 24, 2011, 03:24:58 pm
I'd just use Gengar and Hypnosis.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 24, 2011, 03:32:11 pm
I'd use my dick.


Yep.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on January 24, 2011, 04:00:34 pm
oh, you mean metapod, right?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on January 24, 2011, 05:25:20 pm
Quote
nicole123: ugh. i look like a whore
me: too much eye makeup?
nicole123: yes
me: turn it into like...flames down your face!
nicoleh123: lol. i should totally cover my face in eyeliner flames
me: that would be so badass
nicole123: that would be amazing
i don't know if my parents would take me out to dinner if i looked like that though
me: lol i dont think they would... just thinkin out loud...
but I totally would xP
:humpingparrot:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on January 30, 2011, 10:12:20 am
*Take a picture of the flamin makeup for us stan!*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on January 30, 2011, 04:11:36 pm
Lol totally.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on January 30, 2011, 04:13:54 pm
NAAAYYYYSS


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on February 09, 2011, 11:10:55 pm
"To arms, brothers and sisters! Assume I just stirred you all with a thrilling rendition of Billy Shakespeare's Saint Crispin's Day speech!"

- Bufkin; Fables 14, Witches


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on February 11, 2011, 03:37:01 am
"Ask not what Zod can do for you, but what you can do for Zod (here's a clue: it involves kneeling)."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on February 11, 2011, 10:09:25 am
If I had to choose between mindless sex slaves and future husband which would I choose???

-Crazyness Implorated-


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Rampito on February 13, 2011, 03:16:47 am
Quote
Sam is coming. hes here. he gunna find me. hes gunna find you too. sams here. sams over there. sams the man beside you. sams everywhere. sams gunna gnaw your bones and eat your flesh. sams here. watch out sams coming. hes coming for me and you. SAMS GUNNA FIND YOU. SAMS GUNNA GET YOU. SAMS THE MAN BESIDE YOU. SAMS ALWAYS BEHIND YOU. SAMS GUNNA BE INSIDE YOU. SAMS GUNNA GNAW ON YOUR BONES AND EAT YOUR FLESH!!

Insane rant that my friend made up about me on my birthday...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on February 13, 2011, 09:07:00 pm
Quote
me: how go the snowman blowjob?
Keith: cold... so cold D:
me: thats all i want to do when im sick
Sent at 7:48 PM on Sunday
me: blow a snowman
especially when I have a sore throat
Keith: whoa what is this then
so much spaaace
me: i am a slut for those snowmen
Keith: ...good to know
me: what can I say, im just a big homoSICKsual.
Keith: queermoseckschal?
me: nop
homoSICKsual
when I'm sick, I like to perform oral sex on snowmen.
Keith: i could enjoy thatttt
deepthroat an icicle or something
me: oh man.
did I just...
wow.
ok


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on February 18, 2011, 02:09:11 pm
Episode summary :While a group of foreign delegates are touring the Gamma Site, a swarm of alien bugs linked to the Ori escapes containment...and adapt to become carnivorous

[After the mission]

Daniel: So, we still doing movie night?
Sam: Yeah, why not?
Mitchell: Great, I've already picked something out.
Teal'c: Old School?
Mitchell: Starship Troopers!
Teal'c: Is it humorous?
Mitchell: Is it ever.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on February 21, 2011, 08:54:38 pm
Quote
waytouy@gmail.com says:
 So, wanna talk, spout non-sequiters at each other, or have me go on a drunken rant about THIS FUGGIN WASHMACHINNE
  DOUBLE RAINBOW   says:
 DO IT
waytouy@gmail.com says:
 Maaaan, you wuldnt bleeve my day
 Thius
 This fuggin
 Uncletruckfuggin wash machinine
 S'rthinks its so kooool
 With its blinkoy lights
 And its spijon siycle
 FUGGIT
 I HAETIT


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on March 04, 2011, 08:05:43 pm
Background: I'm not very social so in class I'm one of the few quiet students. The rest of the group is very noisy in average, not even bothering to keep their voice down when talking while the teacher lectures, and laughing loud enough to have people from surrounding classes come and ask us to turn it down a notch. The discussion topics are as chaotic as you expect.

Morning class teacher, in private after the others had left: I never had a class that chatters this much, are they always this unruly? Do you think this is normal???

Afternoon class teacher, after listening a few minutes before class: You guys are so funny! Coming here always makes me laugh, I'd spend the whole hour listening to you, you're a permanent comedy show! XDDDDDDD




Edit not to double post:
(hey, nobody posted anything since the last time I did???)

"I never trust anyone who's more excited about success than about doing the things they want to be successful at."
- XKCD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on March 18, 2011, 06:35:27 pm
Mebe morning teacher is still not really awake?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on March 25, 2011, 08:01:34 am
Alex: Moral to the story, money can buy you toys, but not friends :)

Rich: Friends? Pah! Huscarls is another matter.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on March 25, 2011, 03:46:48 pm
Dominique sagt (22:42):
 Well I'm not silent!!!
 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Dominique sagt (22:43):
 AAAAAAAAAAAAADVERTISEMENT!!!!!!!
Cass' sagt (22:43):
 spam Domi!!
Dominique sagt (22:44):
 Consolidate your debts
 Buy our stock
 Enlarge your penis
 Reconnect with old friends
Cass' sagt (22:44):
 with my penis?
Dominique sagt (22:44):
 Order steroids here
 That's what spammers want
Cass' sagt (22:44):
 lol
Dominique sagt (22:45):
 Consolidate our stock
 Buy your penis
 Enlarge your old friends
Cass' sagt (22:45):
 lololol
Dominique sagt (22:45):
 Reconnect steroids


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Synaster on March 26, 2011, 12:01:48 am
"It's super-squeaky bum time." -- 11th Doctor


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on March 26, 2011, 06:59:11 am
GO on YouTube and look up the Comic Relief (charity) Dr Who Special in two parts "Space/Time". The whole thing is quotable. I mean the TARDIS winds up inside the TARDIS.
Doctor: Amy! Stop flirting with yourself!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Synaster on March 26, 2011, 11:26:00 pm
LOL. Thank you, I will have to, and then show it to my sister, who is more of a fan of Doctor Who than I. ^_^


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on March 28, 2011, 11:25:13 am
That was fracing awesome.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on March 30, 2011, 09:00:44 am
I Just Read The Comments on Rebecca Blacks Mv "Friday" The Word Fail, Abomination, Terrorist, And Flag Was Used Quite Often
-My Friend thoughts on Rebecca Black


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on March 30, 2011, 02:17:08 pm
your mom's a base!!
No YOUR mom. And your dad's an acid. And you're a salt.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Uselessinfoman on April 04, 2011, 11:14:27 am
“You know, with that book, it’s just— I sit down, and I read for two, three hours, and stuff happens in the book, but then when I’m done, I look at the book and I’m nowhere - and I read pretty fast, too. And it’s a little frustrating, because there are so many other things I want to do - I want to play my keyboard, I want to do tutorials, I want to read other books. On the other hand, it’s kinda nice, because usually you read a book and you finish it."

-My roommate Josh on The Fountainhead


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on April 06, 2011, 02:07:01 pm
Finland's parliament elections are soon.
I was browsing the interwebs and found this:
"1.Forced labor to all.
2.East border to Ural.
3.Smaller Alcohol tax.
4.Moon from the sky."
-Political promises of Otto-Pelle Kusinen


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 06, 2011, 06:45:37 pm
Person 1:
"No one in their right minds will ever Miss him, that's like missing Saddam."


Person 2:
"Yeah, you're right. It was pretty bad under Bush. Hundreds of thousands of minority Americans were gassed, political dissidents locked up and executed (about half a million in number). He even drug out members of his own party that weren't ideologically pure and had them shot while announcing it on the radio. And who could forget the time he took us into war with our neighbor, which killed 300,000 US troops and civilians. He even drove the economy so far into the ground that he started trading off US oil stocks for food with Russia.

It was a really rough time for America, Bush's 34 years of Dictatorship. It's a wonder we ever made it."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on April 08, 2011, 07:54:10 pm
"Chuck Norris can donate four litres of blood every day. How much can you give?"
- An actual blood drive poster I saw today.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 11, 2011, 03:31:44 pm
This entire article. (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/planes-kill-baddies-201103213643/)



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on April 11, 2011, 08:24:50 pm
"God invented Corona and limes just to see drunk people use sharp knives."

Chat logs claim I said this Saturday night.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 12, 2011, 03:24:49 pm
...to continue, as a Brightonian resident, i do not want to be caught in a crossfire of antique duelling muskets, or worry that my hat my be shot orf by an automobile drive-by, which is the preferred method of tribal execution by those uncouth individuals in the North American colonies. Quit the proposterous yap before things escalate and we have vicious sectarian violence in our barbers, tobacconists and all good vendors of moustache wax.I do not deserve to be subjected to such vicious nonsense

From a YouTube video. Of hip hop about cricket.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on April 13, 2011, 04:07:55 pm
Mr B, the gentleman rhymer i presume?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on April 13, 2011, 08:57:02 pm
From The Onion

"Spider officially named #1 thing you don't want to see explode from a welt on your body."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on April 14, 2011, 05:01:01 am
Is it the wrong time to remind that when you have scabbies, the parasite that grows under your skin is an arachnid?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on April 14, 2011, 07:46:31 am
Is it the wrong time to remind that when you have scabbies, the parasite that grows under your skin is an arachnid?
Nah, you wouldn't be Dodom if you didn't tell us about the most horrifying visages of reality.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on April 14, 2011, 10:22:07 am
Nah, you wouldn't be Dodom if you didn't tell us about the most horrifying visages of reality.
This...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 14, 2011, 10:59:35 am
Mr B, the gentleman rhymer i presume?

Quite so, good sir.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on April 14, 2011, 02:38:05 pm
Well i better put on my fighting trousers.

*pops in monocle*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 15, 2011, 02:56:48 pm
No need, old bean! I'm of the opinion that both chaps are absolutely spiffing.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on April 15, 2011, 04:05:59 pm
"Sometimes life rains roses, and other times life rains poop!"

Mrs. Jan Roose. My English 101 teacher. Her comment on how my life has been going recently.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on April 16, 2011, 06:55:13 am
No need, old bean! I'm of the opinion that both chaps are absolutely spiffing.
They are indeed sir.  However every great rapper is required to have an arch enemy whom they'll perform drive bys against or what have you.  It's a tradition my good man.  :monocle:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 17, 2011, 10:00:53 am
True that, but there's still no need for fisticuffs in the fanbase.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on April 17, 2011, 10:02:56 am
True that, but there's still no need for fisticuffs in the fanbase.
No, that's just goofy.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on May 10, 2011, 07:16:27 am
"Trousers? Practical weapons? Help from others? Strategy? Rations?

HELL FUCKIN' NO.

Wear a skirt, bring a whip, leave your friends at home, storm right in the front fucking door and eat only meat that drops from chandeliers. FUCK YEAH, SIMON BELMOOOOONT"

Best youtube comment ever.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on May 10, 2011, 11:22:41 am
Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you're busy, in which case always ignore a coincidence.

-Doctor Who


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on May 10, 2011, 03:07:10 pm
"Any sufficiently analysed magic is undistinguishable from science."
- Agatha Heterodyne


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on May 10, 2011, 07:14:34 pm
Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you're busy, in which case always ignore a coincidence.

-Doctor Who

Win.

"But you're just a recording. You can't move..." ~Amy Pond

-Doctor Who

Orlly? Angel begs to differ!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on May 12, 2011, 05:28:03 pm
I see... so it is in your manner to apologize while having illicit sexual relations.

- Junko Hattori of Ichiban Ushiro no Daimaou

(click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: FireFog on May 15, 2011, 10:24:24 am
Quote from: The Outsider, from H.P Lovecraft
So through endless twilights I dreamed and waited, though I knew not what I waited for. Then in the shadowy solitude my longing for light grew so frantic that I could rest no more, and I lifted entreating hands to the single black ruined tower that reached above the forest into the unknown outer sky. And at last I resolved to scale that tower, fall though I might; since it were better to glimpse the sky and perish, than to live without ever beholding day.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on May 20, 2011, 02:26:06 pm
From Jenny's latest Stream:

Greg: "Get in your box you whore"

Jenny: "That's what she said"

It was really funny.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on May 20, 2011, 05:23:43 pm
Stream:

Me: HEY IS DIS SUM L4D?

Greg: ooooooooh Haiiiiiiillll

Jenny: Uhmm ... wow Hail. Way to cut the knife through my heart.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: --Pappa Cricco-- on May 25, 2011, 05:30:24 am
I lolld


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zebia on June 01, 2011, 05:11:44 am
Stream:

Me: HEY IS DIS SUM L4D?

Greg: ooooooooh Haiiiiiiillll

Jenny: Uhmm ... wow Hail. Way to cut the knife through my heart.

Wait, what stream?  /extremely late in noticing


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on June 01, 2011, 10:22:11 am
Wait, what stream?  /extremely late in noticing
Here it is (http://www.livestream.com/thezombiehunters). I always forget about it too, and I can never remember when the cast times are. :-\


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on June 02, 2011, 08:13:13 am
Here it is (http://www.livestream.com/thezombiehunters). I always forget about it too, and I can never remember when the cast times are. :-\

I follow Jenny on Twitter and she usually states when she has a stream. Next time it happens, I'll let you guys know in the Today's Comic thread. :3


(505):

I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on June 03, 2011, 06:30:55 pm
"Life is skittles and life is beer"

"All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon when we're poisoning pigeons in the park~! Every Sunday you're see, my sweetheart and me as we poison the pigeons in the park! When they see us coming, the birdies all try and hide... But they still go for peanuts, when coated with cyanide..."

~Tom Lehrer Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

Look it up on youtube!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Synaster on June 03, 2011, 07:33:22 pm
"Life is skittles and life is beer"

"All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon when we're poisoning pigeons in the park~! Every Sunday you're see, my sweetheart and me as we poison the pigeons in the park! When they see us coming, the birdies all try and hide... But they still go for peanuts, when coated with cyanide..."

~Tom Lehrer Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

Look it up on youtube!
"It just takes a smidgen to poison a pigeon in the park!"

Lol, I heard this song on a Doctor Demento cd.

Edited to correct a spelling error


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on June 03, 2011, 08:25:26 pm
YES. BUT LISTEN TO THE ORIGINAL. SO MUCH BETTER. CAPS LOCK STUCK. HELP ME.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on June 04, 2011, 06:37:00 am
Quote from: Mom
I waited for the last minute and then I was in a rush because it was last minute, so I didn't do it. IT'S NOT MY FAULT HOW DARE YOU BE MAD??? I WAS IN A RUSH DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!!! IN A RUSH!!!

Two months was largely enough time. Mom, I am disappoint.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on June 04, 2011, 08:29:30 pm
Edited to correct a spelling error

You disappoint me Synaster.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on June 04, 2011, 09:04:55 pm
For correcting a mistake?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Synaster on June 04, 2011, 09:59:53 pm
You disappoint me Synaster.
Hey, I'm disappointed in myself. That's what I get for typing when I'm really tired. :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on June 05, 2011, 02:02:19 pm
For correcting a mistake?

For not getting it right the first time.   :monocle:


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on June 05, 2011, 09:46:56 pm
ooh wow i cant even deal with all the prejudice in the room.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Synaster on June 06, 2011, 02:00:32 am
For not getting it right the first time.   :monocle:
Yeah, well, you forgot a comma in "You disappoint me Synaster." :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Gromitooth on June 06, 2011, 09:10:13 am
No she didn't.

I don't remember ever having to put a comma in a sentence like, "You disappoint me Stan/Synaster/Ce_Gray/Gromitooth."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Hailfax on June 06, 2011, 11:09:29 am
And on that happy note, we're getting back on topic.

Quotes only people, I don't care about incorrect or correct grammar.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Synaster on June 06, 2011, 03:53:56 pm
Sorry, I guess I'm a bit OCD when it comes to proper spelling/grammar/comma usage/etc... However, I quoted ce_gray; that counts, right?

Okay, real quote: "If I had a dollar for every brain you didn't have, I'd have one dollar." -- Squidward


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on June 06, 2011, 04:37:57 pm
'Our humanity is stronger than all your weaponry'

Written on a banner in a photo of some protest. I don't know where exactly but it was just touching, y'know?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: ce_gray on June 07, 2011, 11:39:15 am
A comma could've been put there. But I was kidding, thought that was indicated with the emoticon... No hard feelings all. I know I have issues with grammar as well.

"If you love it so much, why don't you marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU! Now how do you feel?" ~GlaDOS


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on June 07, 2011, 12:26:24 pm
"Whooooaa, it's like I'm the moon revolving around planet lesbian."
comment for this vid (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=3GVrO1VYAOI)

..... made me laugh
xD


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zebia on June 07, 2011, 12:55:31 pm
The way the video was filmed made it seem slow or like she was the one spinning around the hula  hoop instead of the other way around.  Kinda blew my mind.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Synaster on June 07, 2011, 02:56:16 pm
A comma could've been put there. But I was kidding, thought that was indicated with the emoticon... No hard feelings all. I know I have issues with grammar as well.
I know you were kidding, but I had to come up with some kind of retort. ;) Besides, what I said about the "proper ...comma usage" was kinda directed at Gromi for telling me I was wrong. Oh, and I think he called you a "he". Would that be grounds for duct-taping his hands to his lap?

"Mom says Puppy's days are through... she's going to throw him in the stew... dead puppies aren't much fun..."
-- "Dead Puppies" by the Ogden Edsl Wahalia Blues Ensemble Mondo Bizzario Band (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqwBbB8-pyI)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on June 10, 2011, 10:58:00 pm
Quote
Nikki: would it be lame if for one of the "2 activieties i participated in and really enjoyed" i said math class?
Sent at 10:45 PM on Friday

me: yeah but whatever
you love math. and its tome for the world to deal with it.
time*

Nikki: haha
alrighty
also,
can i ask you 5 quesitons about me?

me: k

Nikki: What do you perceive to be my greatest gift or talent?

me: O_O Holy huge question batman
you are like, the last great girl seemingly on the planet

Nikki: if you had to say something

me: i dont even know right now.

Nikki: okay
QUESITON 2
What do you perceive to be my greatest achievement?
(you are helping me find my passion  )

me: BE A DOCTOR
BE A SUPER DOCTOR
OF LAUNCHING PEOPLE INTO A LAKE
OF PHYSICS
Nikki's new status message - I shall be a doctor. A super doctor. That launches people into lakes. Of physics..

Nikki: DONE
 

me: YES
 

Quote
yeah.

Nikki: and i should stop being the jealous, bitchy girlfriend that doesn't want him to spend time with anyone else
(no i'm not his girlfriend)
Sent at 11:27 PM on Friday

me: you should be my jealous bitchy girlfreind-OH WAIT DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD.

Nikki: no, you typed it

me: k good
that would have been bad

Nikki: lol
why?

me: umm iunno? I was trying to be funny again.

Nikki: you see? i can't understand people. i don't get sarcasm. i don't get jokes. i don't know when someone is being serious. i suck
fuck people

me: no
this is just a typed conversation
but if youre gonna fuck people you might as well start with me- OH WHOOPS THERE I GO AGAIN WHERE DO THESE KEEP COMING FROM

Nikki: a.á


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on June 12, 2011, 02:34:26 pm
Quote
Boil half of the potatoes and mash them. When we say half, it's ok to take four whole potatoes, not half of each of the eight potatoes. We have to say it in case people don't understand that. But you can still take eight potato halves, it's fine, it's not our job to tell you how to live you life. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IF YOU CUT THEM CUT THEM STRAIGHT!!! Damnit it disgusts me when potatoes are cut with a nick in the middle, because Mister couldn't put his knife at the same height on both sides! And it wouldn't be a problem if potato knives were longer than four inches, who is who who invented it like that? R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!!!!! Whatever do what you want it's your life but don't come crying to me if it goes horribly wrong, I warned you!

I'm afraid that me writing recipes as temporary content for the cooking section will end horribly.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on June 17, 2011, 09:27:35 pm
Quote
me: bad call
though i think it wouldnt be uncommon for sperm to undergo phagocytosis,
Sent at 9:22 PM on Friday

Nikki: now i want beef jerky

me: AHAHAHAHAHA

i know a lot of quotes with this girl. whatever.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on June 18, 2011, 09:59:23 am
TIL that The Whores aren't nearly as good as I thought they were when I saw them at Bloodstock last year. I guess I was just drunk. Oh well...

If I didn't know what this was about beforehand, it would all be different. Someone or two people out there might take it out of context.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on June 18, 2011, 04:33:45 pm
those people can simply go research bloodstock then :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on June 25, 2011, 07:22:38 pm
Found in phrasebooks. (http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/useful.htm)

Mielestäni teillä on söpö presidentti.
I think you have a cute president.

Ich bin kein Mitglied dieser Konferenz, dennoch möchte ich einen Pinguin.
I am not a conference delegate, nevertheless I would like a penguin.

Cu cana poţi să bei lapte, dar cu pisica nu poţi să tai lemne
You can drink milk with a cup, but you can't cut wood with a cat.

De jättelika kräftorna försöker ta över Jorden!
The giant crayfishes are attempting to conquer The Earth!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Synaster on June 25, 2011, 07:44:07 pm
LOL. I would like a penguin too.

Here's some silly Japanese phrases, but I don't know if they're correct or not:

Ohesotte nani?
What's the meaning of my bellybutton?

Osoroshii kangae nimo osoware masu.
I have many evil thoughts.

Ebi no idaina saigo desu!
How honorably shrimp struggle as they choke to death!

Omawarisan! Chikan o tsuka-mate!
Police! Arrest this pervert!

Found here (I apologize for the background making the text unreadable) (http://home.comcast.net/~bellskeichan/JPhrases.htm)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on June 26, 2011, 08:47:53 pm
Look at the news today, cultures looking at each other and wanting to murder each other. Ya Know? But when you bury someone they all cry, they're all suffering, they're all human beings. But it's this mentality that there's a difference, that their suffering is different, and that cycle of hatred just creates genocide.-26 Year old Aboriginal Australian.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on June 30, 2011, 08:37:53 am
Friend's facebook status: Spare daughter has just bashed her face in on a concrete step, 2 black eyes and a cut nose.... she looks like a teeny tiny klingon


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on June 30, 2011, 01:47:59 pm
Spare daughter
like the unnesecesary one?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cassadar on July 02, 2011, 09:08:38 am
"As of now your limbs are on sale and I'm going chopping!"
-Divinity 2, Sassan.... to the other Sassan


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zebia on July 14, 2011, 03:23:36 pm
"Hope is a pussy."
-Rachel "Fang" Robinson when we were discussing her work in FF13.

(Interesting fact:  She also read for Lightning before going along with Fang.  I got to tell you, it would have worked either way, she has the voice for both of them.)
(click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on July 14, 2011, 06:29:34 pm
I believe in one-man shows!

Jenny: Patrick Stewart
Milo: Patrick Stewart
Katie: Patrick Stewart
Dan: Patrick Stewart
Jasper: Patrick Stewart
Sammy: Patrick Stewart
Charlie: Patrick Stewart
Jameson: Patrick Stewart



Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on July 16, 2011, 12:30:20 pm
apclr wrote...
"i can't stand the site of penises so i don't think i'll be swinging for the other team anytime soon. heck i
shower with my eyes closed.."

artysample wrote 5 minutes ago
"I can tuck mine in if you like. that way I still get to keep mine but it has the illusion of a vagina."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on July 22, 2011, 01:52:08 pm
"It's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks two guys in a year, she's a slut."
"If a key opens lots of locks, it's a master key, but if a lock is opened by a lot of keys, it's a shitty lock."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on July 22, 2011, 01:58:58 pm
HA! That needs be slapped on top of a picture of trollface.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on July 27, 2011, 04:17:48 am
Quote
NILBOG says:
 THERES CONSTANT BAKING SODA SWIRLY HURRUCANES IN MY EYEBALLS AS RANBOWS STOMP UPON THE WATERS OF THE EARTH
THEY ARE THE FEET OF THE GODS
AS WE MUST BOW DOWN TO THEM
ALLOW THEM TO DO THEIR BIDDING
AS THE WORLD SLOWLY OXIDIZES WITHIN HE ENRAGED OZONE LAYER
THE OZONE LAYER IS THE ALLSEER
THE MIGHTY GODPIN
AND HE IS DISPLEASED
SO HE OXIDIZES THE PLANET
THERE WAS FIRE
EVERYWHERE
.
 i wrote that because of no reason
 as a result of outlasting my sleep schedule i think
Altay says:
 Whoa
 That's heavy doc.
NILBOG says:
 i dont think so
 i think its insane babbling
Altay says:
 D:
NILBOG says:
 maybe i should post it around
Altay says:
 Fix the typos so people take it really seriously
NILBOG says:
 excellent idea
Altay says:
 
NILBOG says:
 i wanna print brochures and post them everywhere xD
Altay says:
 Do it
 Start a baking soda hurricane cult
NILBOG says:
 YES!
 xD
Altay says:
 Man, I miss you
NILBOG says:
 i miss you too
Altay says:
 We gotta go sledding
 Lol
NILBOG says:
 in the smmer
 totally
Altay says:
 Duh
NILBOG says:
 the people at the lake wil be all WHAT THEM KIDS DOIN
Altay says:
 Who says we can't?
NILBOG says:
 wed be like
 SLEDDING
Altay says:
 Lol
NILBOG says:
 and theyd have to deal with it
Altay says:
 We just lay down some baking soda
 And we're set
 Exactly
NILBOG says:
 TOTALLY
 AHAHAHA
Altay says:
 Ride the hurricanes to infinity
NILBOG says:
 FUCKIN A
Altay says:
 The people on the ground be hatin'
NILBOG says:
 exactly
Altay says:
 They're yet jealous


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on July 27, 2011, 08:39:28 pm
"I came back this year with a wheelbarrow of furry smut, like I typically do at these things. I think it's because the furz0r think that it will be funny to ask me if I want some, and I unequivocally do, which generally leads to some awkward side-steppinf and floor-looking on their part. I want all pornography, all day. I never want to not have it. It may be that I’m outside the accepted diagram on this, but I find that kind of thing profoundly educational, and it is educational at a rate inversely proportional to its carnal appeal. I hope that I live to see alien pornography; I’ve held forth on the topic multiple times, and the thought of conscious molecules swapping electrons generates so much lust I have to bite down on a knuckle to vent it. I would link to the stuff I got,but I'd rather that people didn't fuck with him.  If a Tiger-American wants to chase a fox around a football field with his dick out, it’s like, score. I wasn’t going for the sports pun especially, but if it improves the paragraph for you, it's yours."

            ---Jerry Holkins.

"It's Necronomiconsensual!"
            ---My friend


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Zebia on July 29, 2011, 12:24:29 am
"I came back this year with a wheelbarrow of furry smut, like I typically do at these things. I think it's because the furz0r think that it will be funny to ask me if I want some, and I unequivocally do, which generally leads to some awkward side-steppinf and floor-looking on their part. I want all pornography, all day. I never want to not have it. It may be that I’m outside the accepted diagram on this, but I find that kind of thing profoundly educational, and it is educational at a rate inversely proportional to its carnal appeal. I hope that I live to see alien pornography; I’ve held forth on the topic multiple times, and the thought of conscious molecules swapping electrons generates so much lust I have to bite down on a knuckle to vent it. I would link to the stuff I got,but I'd rather that people didn't fuck with him.  If a Tiger-American wants to chase a fox around a football field with his dick out, it’s like, score. I wasn’t going for the sports pun especially, but if it improves the paragraph for you, it's yours."

            ---Jerry Holkins.

"It's Necronomiconsensual!"
            ---My friend
If there was a clapping gif I would use it for that first paragraph.

Taking a guess on what your friend was referring to there:
(click to show/hide)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on July 29, 2011, 05:45:05 am
It was for a shadowrun game, and the group we're planning on playing are predominately monster hunters. I was joking about taking the spells "Orgasm" and "Orgy".


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on August 11, 2011, 03:13:40 am
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll complain, then set things on fire, demanding more free fish without having to work for it. Moral: dont give strange men free fish.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: sok on August 12, 2011, 03:26:04 pm
that seems like exactly the same thing that happens/ed in greece...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on August 31, 2011, 05:00:24 am
Quote
Bad cholesterol. Let me tell you about bad cholesterol. Our body makes testosterone out of it. No testosterone, no sex drive. No sex drive, no sex. No sex, no babies. No babies, EXTINCTION OF THE HUMAN RACE!!! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TALKING ABOUT BAD CHOLESTEROL!!!!!!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on September 01, 2011, 11:51:07 am
That was a bitch move, after I got a Mace of Protection and being partially covered in Bone Plates.
I wanna be just like HK when I grow up. :P


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on September 01, 2011, 12:16:58 pm
A most admirable goal, and one that's even better than aiming to become El Presidente.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on September 09, 2011, 03:22:46 pm
Teacher: (using a retroprojector to display documents; one page has a yellow smudge) So this is what the results shou- YELLOW THING!!! *poke poke rub rub* - should look like. *continues normally*


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on September 24, 2011, 09:57:05 am
"You see a mousetrap. I see free cheese and a fucking challenge."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on October 05, 2011, 09:18:27 pm
"If at first you don't succeed: give up, delegate, blame someone else."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on October 06, 2011, 12:11:31 pm
Knockout Ned: Why didn't that fucker kill me?
*Shot to Lil' Ze*
Lil' Ze: Hold on. Why didn't I kill that fucker?

City of God, one hell of a movie.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on October 06, 2011, 03:33:32 pm
Cosmology lecturer on tonight's edition of Horizon on the Standard Model of Cosmology:
"Ooh, I don't like dark energy and I hope it goes away soon."
Way to explain scientific opinion in a way the uninitiated can understand when it comes to dealing with conflicting theories about the continued expansion of the observable universe. She must be an epic lecturer. I mean it.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on October 09, 2011, 08:09:22 pm
From the IGN Pro League Finals in Starcraft today, by the caster Apollo: "Those must be some American Marines, because they do not have health insurance!"

trololol


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on October 09, 2011, 08:17:45 pm
"Please acquiesce, Madam, to my most distinguished salutations."

^ Who talks like that??? When I talk politely, I don't talk like that. I don't hear anyone talking like that. Why is it the default greeting when writing a presentation letter? This sounds like the kind of things that only become normal on meth.

(At least this ridiculous meme seems to be contained within the French language)


I shall end this post on a gratuitous, loosely related pun:

(http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/3/17/59d9f3ba-dd41-49dc-858f-5e23a9fe1a7c.jpg)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on December 07, 2011, 04:59:58 pm
"My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on December 21, 2011, 11:04:31 pm
Oh, Gutted Hobo...you tried to steal supplies, and ended up stealing our hearts.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on December 28, 2011, 07:41:36 am
I will personally burn everything I’ve made to the fucking ground if I think I can catch them in the flames. - Gabe (Of Penny Arcade fame)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on January 01, 2012, 04:45:48 am
Quote
If the tards are bad at recess, they have to sit at the "ball box" and untangle the jumpropes. It is virtually impossible for them. I make them do it so I can watch them get frustrated and kick and grunt. These are the small pleasures that make my day tolerable.

The Tard Blog.

Not sure what to think of it. Then again, I wasnt sure what to think of the boondocks...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Dodom on January 28, 2012, 07:56:53 am
Quote from: ThinkGeek
You may be surprised to learn that not only are we aware of Canada, but that we love Canadians. And we especially love Canadians that earn Geek Points--and share their poutine with Americans... but we digress.
This was followed by a list of articles that could be bought with GeekPoints, and the interesting ones could be shipped to US addresses only. If they want to make country-specific intros, fine, but using them to promote articles that can't be bought in those countries ruin the effect a little.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on January 28, 2012, 11:22:07 am
The Tard Blog.

This is fucking awful and hilarious.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on January 28, 2012, 01:31:19 pm
I enjoy it because sure she talks bad about her students, but she has respect for them.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: RiceGuard on January 30, 2012, 02:12:09 pm
I enjoy it because sure she talks bad about her students, but she has respect for them.

Kinda like the American in "The Man in the High Castle."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on February 16, 2012, 12:32:38 pm
"I just drank 3 bottles of water in under ten minutes."
"Why?"
"To make my backpack lighter."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on February 19, 2012, 11:26:08 am
Student: "Mr. Green, Mr. Green, is this going to be on the test?!"

John Green: "Yeah...about the test: The test will measure whether you are an informed, engaged, and productive citizen of the world; and it will take place in schools, and bars, and hospitals and dorm rooms, and in places of worship. You will be tested on first dates, in job interviews, while watching football, and while scrolling through your twitter feed. The test will judge your ability to think about things other than celebrity marriages, whether you'll be easily persuaded by empty political rhetoric, and whether you'll be able to place your life and your community in a broader context. The test will last your entire life and it will be comprised of the millions of decisions, that when taken together, makes your life yours; and everything...everything, will be on it.

...I know, right? So pay attention!"

From episode one of his series Crash Course


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on February 20, 2012, 08:10:24 pm
"Approach you me, I want to chopper your conjunctivitis curse!"

 -Dodom's most recent facebook update, as translated by Bing.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: DarkMilly on February 20, 2012, 09:16:34 pm
We are born with 2 ears and 1 mouth, we should use them in proportion.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on February 26, 2012, 10:38:37 pm
Quote
me:  OH NO
i cant beleive the trend ive started
you can borrow mu colour if you want, i think im sticking with this ghetto brick for a while
 Nikki:  i have literally no games
and i have a gba
 me:  oh no youre a PS3 xD
 Nikki:  just no games
ahahaha

She got the joke.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on March 06, 2012, 11:24:03 am
"Look, I know I used to rag on Garrus for being angry, but I'm glad he's back. There's a whole lot of stuff out there that needs a bullet between the eyes. Plus, we might need something calibrated."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on March 06, 2012, 02:47:40 pm
From an online discussion with one of my friends regarding the Avengers trailers.

Outlaw:  I don't I'm all that impressed with the Avengers trailer.

Name changed to protect the guilty:  Oh, why not?

Outlaw:  Too much CGI, I don't see any hint of a story.  But I suppose they could be able to save it by filming Scarlett Jo walk around in that outfit for two hours.

Name changed to protect the guilty:  What the hell is that thing at the end supposed to be a Transformer?

Outlaw:  Probably, the trailer looks like it was filmed in the same toilet bowl Michael Bay was using to shit out the next Transformers movie anyway.

As you may have picked up on I'm not expecting this to be any good when it hits theaters.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on March 06, 2012, 07:50:19 pm
...It has robert downey junior being a dick, and the trailers leave out the plot because thats what yanno, the movies for.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on March 06, 2012, 08:36:11 pm
Yeah, I don't really see what a trailer would give the story of the film, especially an initial superhero film.

The first spiderman movie was "Oh, look, it's fucking spider man!"

The first Iron Man movie was "Holy shit, Iron Man!"

You get the idea. And as for the whole "Too much CGI" argument, Why? Would you rather there be giant puppets and strings? It's a superhero movie, brosef. A dude can't REALLY fly just by having a hammer. You can't REALLY pilot a robot suit while shitfaced. You can't REALLY be as handsome as Chris Evans.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on March 06, 2012, 10:16:26 pm
The point of a trailer is to make you want to watch the movie.  You can cut an awful movie into an amazing trailer.  If those scenes/joke/displays of Robert Downey Jr. assholishness are the best the movie has to offer I'll be happy waiting till it hits the dollar rack at the local rental place.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Stan on March 06, 2012, 10:19:42 pm


You can't REALLY pilot a robot suit while shitfaced. You can't REALLY be as handsome as Chris Evans.

Oh, I BEG to differ.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on March 06, 2012, 10:22:17 pm
You wish, Stan.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on March 06, 2012, 10:44:59 pm
Stumbling around in a robot suit while firing off your cannons and whatnot at random sounds like a good time. For you at least, screw everybody else.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Jetraymongoose on March 07, 2012, 08:45:46 am
The dragon thing at the end is surprisingly in the Avengers mythos and what not. I know, I was like, wtf is that too. I don't really expect there to be a whole lot of plot but I will still see it because no matter what it will be better than Transformers 3... and Transformers 2...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on March 07, 2012, 10:27:46 am
Quote from: Cracked.com-David Christopher Bell
The most disturbing part of the video, however, is the moment when an off-camera Raimi basically commands the actor behind the mask to make love to the camera, demonstrating a wide range of expressions that go from "angry rapist" to "pleasant child molester."

"Thresher maw is getting closer!"
"Tell me something I don't know!"
"Iron in truck is great supplement for Maw diet!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on March 07, 2012, 12:34:40 pm
The dragon thing at the end is surprisingly in the Avengers mythos and what not. I know, I was like, wtf is that too. I don't really expect there to be a whole lot of plot but I will still see it because no matter what it will be better than Transformers 3... and Transformers 2...
If that was supposed to be Fin Fang Foom or the Midgard Serpent I am greatly saddened.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on March 07, 2012, 01:20:05 pm
I don't even know what trailer you're watching, because I keep watching the end of the official one and there's no dragon. Could you link it?


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on March 07, 2012, 03:32:58 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIR8Ar-Z4hw

Actually I just watched the trailer again without sound and liked it better.  Interesting.  Maybe it's the superhero patter that's really off putting.  Which is a shame because usually Wheedon nails dialog.

But that doesn't save Captain Americas costume design.  Or hawkeyes.  *sigh* 


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Log! on March 07, 2012, 04:19:56 pm
Quote from: Log
I think Cap looks good, just weird without his mask. And yeah, Hawkeye... His original costume was flamboyant, but now it's just boring.
And also, yeah, that's probably going to be the Midgard serpent, because Loki is one of the villains and they're doing the whole "Robot-ey" thing. Eh. Galactic Marvel.

Also also, yeah, that trailer is significantly more boring than the other, I'll agree with you on that. I still think the movie is going to be good. Both Iron Man movies were great, I'm told Thor and Cap were great (Haven't watched them for some reason), so I have faith. And Robert Downey Jr. is so fucking great that he could carry everyone else, if all else fails.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on March 27, 2012, 08:26:54 pm
Imagine, if you will, a cross between Sherlock Holmes, Flight of The Conchords, Jay-Z, a cream tea, and a badger in a hat. Imagine that! Picture what it would look like in real life.

-Professor Elemental


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on March 28, 2012, 07:58:28 am
Imagine, if you will, a cross between Sherlock Holmes, Flight of The Conchords, Jay-Z, a cream tea, and a badger in a hat. Imagine that! Picture what it would look like in real life.

-Professor Elemental
Actually when I picture it it looks a lot like Professor Elemental.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on March 29, 2012, 02:51:43 pm
Haken: What the hell is that? Some kind of vine?
Aschen: Maybe it's a tentacle, molesting the planet itself.

- Super Robot Taisen Original Generation Saga: Endless Frontier, where nearly every conversation has innuendo.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 02, 2012, 07:44:02 pm
Actually when I picture it it looks a lot like Professor Elemental.

Probably because he mentioned that while advertising an upcoming videogram series featuring his adventures.

Quote from: www.notalwaysright.com
Little girl: “My mom seems unemployed, but I think she’s some kind of secret agent.”

Me: “Why?”

Little girl: “I found handcuffs in her drawer behind the makeup. I can never find her gun or anything else, though.”


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on April 09, 2012, 12:09:44 am
In this fucked up world... there is no God.
Chapter end of Cage of Eden, which is hilarious considering the mad coincidences that go down.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on April 10, 2012, 08:56:02 pm
Prof. Elemental: So yeah, basically it lunged at me, its claws bared and its teeth clamped together. So of course I shot it in the face!
Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be Princess Anne...


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on April 12, 2012, 09:06:01 am
...piercing the moonlight like a stiletto pierces flesh pierced by a stiletto, casting a long shadow on the ground ahead.

Like a stiletto. (http://www.elfonlyinn.net/d/20040813.html)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on April 26, 2012, 04:12:21 pm
Pink Panther: "First day being pink?"
Brian: "Yeah."
Pink Panther: "Welcome to Hell."
- Family Guy Hallowe'en Special shown on BBC 3 last week. For some reason. But still epic.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Cheez on June 18, 2012, 11:35:13 am
Look how dramatically [Name]'s cape CAPE swirls! Like Batman in a tea cosy!


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: AmadeusMaxwell on June 28, 2012, 11:13:01 am
"People who say they're moving to Canada due to SCOTUS ruling. I assume it's so they can get gay married." - Phil Plait
 :D
 


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: HK-47 on July 27, 2012, 11:35:01 am
"Sometimes humans can be the most deadly monsters... worse than even chimeras..."
Cage of Eden, gets so hilariously cheesy at times.


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on August 25, 2012, 11:41:39 pm
Just recieved the following text message from a good friend of mine:

"I'm at the Room, starts in 20, I just ate some shrooms."


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Opus Fluke on August 26, 2012, 09:41:38 am
“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.”

HUNTER S THOMPSON (1937-2005)


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Fatman on December 06, 2012, 08:26:05 am
"Juho, some people have told me that you are huge asshole, but hey, so am i!"


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: Alex on December 13, 2012, 06:02:31 pm
“So the first time I met Gene Simmons, I was like ‘Whoa, that’s Gene Simmons. He’s like right here.’ So I went over and introduced myself. He grabs me by the shoulders, and he says, ‘You are a powerful and talented young man.’ He’s staring at me in my eyes and says, ‘If we were in prison, I would make love to you.’ I was like, ‘Oh.’” - Chester Bennington


Title: Re: Quote Thread
Post by: TheLastOutlaw on January 24, 2013, 08:08:02 pm
From a conversation I just had with my significant other while playing Dead Island.

Me:  These people are awesome (upon discovering a group of humans standing around and not trying to shoot me in the face.)

SO:  Why?

Me:  They aren't trying to shoot me in the face.  It's a nice change of pace.

SO:  So?  I bet they're stupid or something.

Me:  (After talking to the humans.)  Yea... they got locked out of their own house by a zombie and want me to help them get back in...

Of course the zombie was damn thug (think zombie on steroids) wearing a helmet AND body armor so it's not only a DPS sponge but it takes reduced damage AND increases my weapons deterioration which I bitched about loudly while killing the damn thing.

SO:  (After it was finally dead.)  You should take all their stuff and eat all their food before you let them back in.

It's no wonder I'm in love.