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181  General Discussion / Zombie Stuff / Re: Types of Zombies: The Zombcyclopaedia on: July 14, 2016, 10:12:48 am
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the forum...

Zombitch: Post-human infected who were, simply put, punk-ass whiners BEFORE they were lesser undead.

Power: None beyond throwing a fit because the Zombie Hunters™ are always picking on them.

Scary: Only if they attract -zerkers, though the 'zerkers will most likely terminate the zombitch first, THEN start chewing on you.

Threat scenario: They growl, if required, though are more scared of than you are of them.
182  General Discussion / Zombie Stuff / Re: Types of Zombies: The Zombcyclopaedia on: July 14, 2016, 10:00:31 am
This is getting redonkulous....

Zomboyeee: Post-human infected who were gangbangers, rappers or poser-ass wannabes like Vanilla Ice.

Power: They will break out with rhyming insults, to music, that tends to draw attention (read 'zerkers) to them. They are also usually wearing enough jewelry to constitute improvised chainmail in some game settings.

Scary: Only if they are behind you or outnumber you by more than 4 to 1. They can usually be found dragging a posse of lesser infected along with them.

Threat scenario: These critters can be troublesome if in an area with a decent population of other undead, though can sometimes be quieted by superior insulting ability, posession of a Tech 9™ or a hefty enough cloud of pot smoke.
183  TZH Discussion / TZH Discussion / Re: Today's Comic on: July 13, 2016, 12:13:23 pm
Bye, I guess. And for the important question;

Who was that masked woman?!
184  General Discussion / Zombie Stuff / Re: Types of Zombies: The Zombcyclopaedia on: July 13, 2016, 11:58:59 am
Oh my God, Milo. Look at her ass. It's so big. I'll bet she's one of those necromancers girlfriends.....

I simply could not resist. I'm sorry..... Actually, no I'm not. Who the hell am I trying to fool.
185  General Discussion / Zombie Stuff / Re: Types of Zombies: The Zombcyclopaedia on: July 13, 2016, 11:47:09 am
To double-down, so to speak, on my previously mentioned higher standard...

Zombusty: Your basic Zombarbie with that Kardashian ass on it.

Power: They got big butts and I cannot lie, all you Zombie Hunters™ can't deny.......

Scary: Only if you like junk in the truck thats gnawing on you. If your'e not down with the ghetto ass they are only as dangerous as any other zombarbie.

Threat scenario: It will be recorded in the pages of history that it was these things that cost us Compton, Harlem and West Baltimore. Seriously people, they will do your whole posse and not even feel bad about it.
186  General Discussion / Zombie Stuff / Re: Types of Zombies: The Zombcyclopaedia on: July 12, 2016, 08:16:47 pm
There is something seriously off about me....

Zoombie: Post-human infected who, prior to assuming room temperature, were meth addicts, cokeheads or one of the somewhat sad and tedious Starb@#kers.

Power: At first glance they seem to be powerless, simply standing in one spot and twitching occasionally. They will however, often with little or no provocation, suddenly screech like a banshee and then run in a random direction as fast as they can, arms flailing madly, until they impact something, or someone, with enough mass to stop them.

Scary. Debateable. If you are standing in their path, or holding a caffinated beverage, yes. Otherwise, only if they lead 'zerkers to you or run into a BOOMer.

Threat scenario: As the experienced Zombie Hunter™ mastered the side-step long ago and these things have little to no ability to change direction mid-flight, these things are usually cake.
187  General Discussion / Zombie Stuff / Re: Types of Zombies: The Zombcyclopaedia on: July 11, 2016, 08:30:19 pm
Y'know, if you close your eyes when you are reading these and imagine Gilbert Gottfreid talking they are actually a lot funnier.
188  General Discussion / Zombie Stuff / Re: Types of Zombies: The Zombcyclopaedia on: July 11, 2016, 08:24:11 pm
Sometimes I hold to the higher standard, raised better even.... amd then there's times like this......

Zombarbie: Post-human infected super models, porn stars and/or random hot girls next door that have retained their hotness despite the systemic necrosis.

Power: They have breasts, NICE breasts, and guess what? You are just their type. This time they mean it, pal, you are Mr. Right.

Scary: Hot chicks, plentiful breastages and they kill you with your own hormones. A wise man fears what is both deadly and irresistable. (Funny how that wisdom doesn't save Dr. Copafeel from funbag-assisted-suicide tho.)

Threat scenario: Really? I need to spell this one out? We could be looking at extinction level events here. And, because they are NIIICE breasts, we will stand in line for them to kill us. I lack the words to adequately describe how f@#ked we are if too many of these things congregate.
189  TZH Discussion / TZH Discussion / Re: Today's Comic on: July 11, 2016, 08:01:08 pm
On a dare, Chuck Norris french kissed a zombarbie,  AND SHE CHANGED BACK!!
190  General Discussion / Zombie Stuff / Re: Types of Zombies: The Zombcyclopaedia on: July 10, 2016, 01:00:50 pm
For the love of all that is Unholy, when does this madness end?

The Fallen: Post-human infected Zombie Hunters™ who failed to live up to their resume, were smoked by team-killing-f@#ktards named Jasper or just had a REALLY bad day.

Power: They have all of their gear, know all of your tricks and have an overwhelming urge to kill you BECAUSE you kill zombies. What "Powers" do they need.

Scary: What the hell do you think, fool?

Threat scenario: Anywhere between ultra-f@#king-violet to only slightly less dangerous than a guy named Vader with a toothache.
191  General Discussion / Zombie Stuff / Re: Types of Zombies: The Zombcyclopaedia on: July 10, 2016, 12:25:10 pm
And then there's.....

BOOMers: Post-human infected who were morbidly obese before contracting undeath and have fermented internally since.

Power: Any rough handling, such as being jostled by other undead or terminated by Zombie Hunters™, results in a massive explosion of zombie juices over a large radius. Not flammable or corrosive, but get some in your eye and see how f@#ked you are.

Scary: Hells yes, anything 'zerkers avoid is nothing I want loitering near me.

Threat scenario: Middling. They aren't any harder to outrun now than they were when alive, but if one goes off on someone, be elsewhere.
192  General Discussion / Zombie Stuff / Re: Types of Zombies: The Zombcyclopaedia on: July 10, 2016, 12:09:55 pm
It would normally be at this moment that I mention free time and too much thereof, except.......

Munchkids: Post-human infected children, especially toddlers who are much more mobile, though no better behaved.

Power: 'Awww, you're so cute.... Oh, Sweet Jeebus, the teeth!'

Scary: Not usually, until they start snacking.

Threat scenario: High, if you're the type that likes children. Otherwise, not so much.

Note: They may look harmless individually, but in groups, they own your ass from the knees down.
193  TZH Discussion / TZH Discussion / Re: Today's Comic on: June 30, 2016, 11:26:18 pm
Normal small animals or zombified small animals? I mean, if it works on necrotic flesh like it does normal flesh we could be on to something here.

All we need to do is get the right curry recipe, a willing enough test subject, aim them rump first at the oncoming zombie horde and then...... light it!

This could work, people.
194  TZH Discussion / TZH Discussion / Re: Today's Comic on: June 30, 2016, 06:06:15 pm
Curry. Burns going in. IT BURNZ MEH! coming out.
195  TZH Discussion / TZH Discussion / Re: Today's Comic on: June 29, 2016, 09:26:28 pm
Curry farts. So nasty they'll wake you out of a sound sleep.
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