AP: Financial aid came through! I'M NOT GOING TO STARVE!!!!!

Show her your balls. But make sure your eyebrows are super angry. Then she'll understand.

FLAWLESS. LITERALLY NOTHING CAN GO WRONG WITH THIS PLAN.

PP: While I'm under all this stress, why don't we just go ahead and toss in "unemployed" while we're at it? Because that seems to be a possibility right now, since my boss claims she told me to come to work Monday when I seem to recall her telling me Thursday. And when I didn't show up, what did she do? Just assumed I quit with no notification.

EVERYTHING IS FUCKED

AP: After a couple months of him resisting, I finally got my roommate to watch Game of Thrones and start reading the books, so now I can discuss it with someone
Related PP: He's read the first three books in about three weeks, while I'm only halfway through the second.

AP #2: Got my financial aid, my parking permit, and going to register for classes this afternoon. I might actually be getting things back on track.

PP: Been under unholy amounts of stress lately. My face is breaking out, I'm exhausted all the time, due only in part to the fact that I'm not sleeping at night. I've realized lately that I've never experienced true stress before, and it fucking sucks ass. If I had one wish, it would be to go back to being 10 years old again, maybe forever.

PP: People who say "spanking is okay because I was spanked and I turned out okay." A) you "turned out okay" according to who and b) I guarantee getting hit as a child had almost nothing to do with you growing up to be a well-rounded adult, if you even are that.

PP: The way the wind is blowing, I'm not entirely convinced that the world isn't going to end within the next hour.

COBALT THE PANCAKE MAN! 

Cobalt the Egg Man would be more accurate since that's what I cook.

AP: Got the job, starting tomorrow. The thought of people actually eating what I cook make me nervous.

AP: Interview at IHOP tomorrow. I mostly submitted the application for shits and giggles since I applied for a line cook position which I have 0 experience at, but they actually called me back.

Stan, when you fuck in a chair, it becomes something else. The sweat of your body mixing with that of another, the bodily fluids spilled carelessly in the heat of passion.

It's no longer a chair, Stanley. It becomes a throne. A testament to man's triumph over all things in this world. The sun, the sky, the world around us, furniture, we have found a way to use these things to our own gain. And when this throne, this pillar of human victory, has been created, it becomes really fucking awkward for everyone else to sit in it because all they can think about are your balls slapping against someone else.

OH MY GOD I'm laughing so hard

But yeah, he showers infrequently, and she's kind of gross, and the both of them being butt ass naked and going at it like the world is ending is a lot gross. And that was the polyester couch I bought at a thrift store. They could have easily been doing it on the faux-leather couch he bought and would have been infinitely easier to clean.
Whatever, it was still hilarious, especially when she cried from embarrassment and wouldn't even look at me.

AP: Walked in on my roommate and his girlfriend boning in the living room.

My reaction: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Related PP: Can't sit on that couch anymore

PP: Bowling automatically associates to the big lebowski for me and I fear that I over reference the movie.

Absolutely no such thing.

PP: Thankgiving absolutely cannot get here soon enough.

PP #2: This time of year always makes me want to go home to Alabama, but it's exceptionally bad this year, for some reason. Maybe because this is the year it's least likely to happen.

I had a friend who had that same problem except it was entire right arm. He could move it just fine. But could barely feel a thing.

That's how my heel felt. It didn't limit my mobility, I just couldn't feel anything. It was weird to put my bare foot down and it feel like nothing was there. But it's better now. Still don't know what caused it. Problem is now I can actually feel those lighter burns. Ouch.

PP: Being a certified dumbass

PP: No feeling in my heel. I held a lot cigarette lighter right up against my right heel and couldn't feel a thing. My roommate thought it was awesome. I am not inclined to agree with him.

PP: Working 11 AM to 10 PM the next three days. Holy Goddamn, I might die.