Stan, when you fuck in a chair, it becomes something else. The sweat of your body mixing with that of another, the bodily fluids spilled carelessly in the heat of passion.
It's no longer a chair, Stanley. It becomes a throne. A testament to man's triumph over all things in this world. The sun, the sky, the world around us, furniture, we have found a way to use these things to our own gain. And when this throne, this pillar of human victory, has been created, it becomes really fucking awkward for everyone else to sit in it because all they can think about are your balls slapping against someone else.
OH MY GOD I'm laughing so hard
But yeah, he showers infrequently, and she's kind of gross, and the both of them being butt ass naked and going at it like the world is ending is a lot gross. And that was the polyester couch I bought at a thrift store. They could have easily been doing it on the faux-leather couch he bought and would have been infinitely easier to clean.
Whatever, it was still hilarious, especially when she cried from embarrassment and wouldn't even look at me.