The Zombie Hunters Forum: WE GO THERE.
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 on: July 13, 2016, 07:20:42 am 
Started by DochSavage - Last post by TheLastOutlaw
Y'know, if you close your eyes when you are reading these and imagine Gilbert Gottfreid talking they are actually a lot funnier.
But first, "Ugu..."

 on: July 13, 2016, 07:10:52 am 
Started by Boomstick - Last post by DochSavage
 He love you long time

 on: July 12, 2016, 08:16:47 pm 
Started by DochSavage - Last post by Anonymoose
There is something seriously off about me....

Zoombie: Post-human infected who, prior to assuming room temperature, were meth addicts, cokeheads or one of the somewhat sad and tedious Starb@#kers.

Power: At first glance they seem to be powerless, simply standing in one spot and twitching occasionally. They will however, often with little or no provocation, suddenly screech like a banshee and then run in a random direction as fast as they can, arms flailing madly, until they impact something, or someone, with enough mass to stop them.

Scary. Debateable. If you are standing in their path, or holding a caffinated beverage, yes. Otherwise, only if they lead 'zerkers to you or run into a BOOMer.

Threat scenario: As the experienced Zombie Hunter™ mastered the side-step long ago and these things have little to no ability to change direction mid-flight, these things are usually cake.

 on: July 11, 2016, 08:30:19 pm 
Started by DochSavage - Last post by Anonymoose
Y'know, if you close your eyes when you are reading these and imagine Gilbert Gottfreid talking they are actually a lot funnier.

 on: July 11, 2016, 08:24:11 pm 
Started by DochSavage - Last post by Anonymoose
Sometimes I hold to the higher standard, raised better even.... amd then there's times like this......

Zombarbie: Post-human infected super models, porn stars and/or random hot girls next door that have retained their hotness despite the systemic necrosis.

Power: They have breasts, NICE breasts, and guess what? You are just their type. This time they mean it, pal, you are Mr. Right.

Scary: Hot chicks, plentiful breastages and they kill you with your own hormones. A wise man fears what is both deadly and irresistable. (Funny how that wisdom doesn't save Dr. Copafeel from funbag-assisted-suicide tho.)

Threat scenario: Really? I need to spell this one out? We could be looking at extinction level events here. And, because they are NIIICE breasts, we will stand in line for them to kill us. I lack the words to adequately describe how f@#ked we are if too many of these things congregate.

 on: July 11, 2016, 08:01:08 pm 
Started by Boomstick - Last post by Anonymoose
On a dare, Chuck Norris french kissed a zombarbie,  AND SHE CHANGED BACK!!

 on: July 10, 2016, 08:20:55 pm 
Started by DochSavage - Last post by DochSavage
Tactical evaluation, Strategic threat evaluation.

Proxy:  Post-human infected who have been rewired upstairs, downstairs and in the basement.  They're better than they were before.  Stronger. Faster.  More intelligent, and home to a proxy intelligence with its own agenda.  Uses a more refined version of the banshee moan to influence emotions, while able to speak fluently if roughly.  Able to "digest" organic matter of all types.  Unknown if able to infect.  No known attempts to infect, but several confirmed kills.
Power:  Olympic Einstein.
Scary:  Holy existential-crap scary.
Threat scenario:  Hyperintelligent humanoid at the extreme high-side of ninja capability.  Honestly, I'm not intelligent enough to advise you credibly against a threat like this.  Even if friendly or non-aggressive, this evolved form is a threat to homo sapien sapien, in the long term.  I advise in general terms to gather as much information on them as possible, especially around motivations and goals. Good luck.

 on: July 10, 2016, 08:09:30 pm 
Started by DochSavage - Last post by DochSavage
Damn.  Those are pretty good.

 on: July 10, 2016, 01:00:50 pm 
Started by DochSavage - Last post by Anonymoose
For the love of all that is Unholy, when does this madness end?

The Fallen: Post-human infected Zombie Hunters™ who failed to live up to their resume, were smoked by team-killing-f@#ktards named Jasper or just had a REALLY bad day.

Power: They have all of their gear, know all of your tricks and have an overwhelming urge to kill you BECAUSE you kill zombies. What "Powers" do they need.

Scary: What the hell do you think, fool?

Threat scenario: Anywhere between ultra-f@#king-violet to only slightly less dangerous than a guy named Vader with a toothache.

 on: July 10, 2016, 12:25:10 pm 
Started by DochSavage - Last post by Anonymoose
And then there's.....

BOOMers: Post-human infected who were morbidly obese before contracting undeath and have fermented internally since.

Power: Any rough handling, such as being jostled by other undead or terminated by Zombie Hunters™, results in a massive explosion of zombie juices over a large radius. Not flammable or corrosive, but get some in your eye and see how f@#ked you are.

Scary: Hells yes, anything 'zerkers avoid is nothing I want loitering near me.

Threat scenario: Middling. They aren't any harder to outrun now than they were when alive, but if one goes off on someone, be elsewhere.

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