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DarkMilly
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« on: September 11, 2009, 02:40:23 am » |
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This is a very personal poem for me, and so even though I know it's not really impressive, it is probably one of my personal favourite's... Enjoy!
Oh, and so as not to confuse, this poem is from two people's view points, italics is one person, normal writing is the other.
I am ready for what is to come
I would not change anything at all
Please... Do not cry for me
The past is gone, and the future is here
I yearn for time to stop and rewind
It is the present and tomorrow I fear
The medicine will bring our last goodbye
But it takes away your growing pain
So I watch as your body lets you die
Something so precious, I just can’t believe
I hold on, but your torn from my hands
Don’t go! I’m not ready for you to leave!
Cover my face to hide the tears that sting
I would never want to forget you
Even with the pain the memories bring
I love you, and I swear I always will
You say you love me and won’t let go
Well it’s this love that has let me live
Please... Do not be afraid
Please just let go
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We may fail alone, but that is better than dying with them, only to be forgotten. I for one, would rather suffer now, than leave this life without passion.
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DarkMilly
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« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2009, 02:46:22 am » |
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*Unsure whether people just don't know what to say, or if the poem sucks more then she thought :S*
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We may fail alone, but that is better than dying with them, only to be forgotten. I for one, would rather suffer now, than leave this life without passion.
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Grammer
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« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2009, 09:50:42 am » |
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I'm in the "don't know what to say" category. I couldn't distinguish between good and bad poetry if my life depended on it >.<
But as it didn't have me flee this page as fast as I could, I'd dare say it doesn't suck.
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Cute: Anything that will bring a horrible death upon unwanted visitors.  You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea? |
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Jetraymongoose
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« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2009, 04:51:32 pm » |
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I hate poetry. I can't write it at all.
With that out of the way, I enjoy reading poetry, and I daresay(not really it just sounds cool) is quite the good poem DarkMilly. And don't worry I had the same feeling with my story excerpt on the old forums. So yeah, all in all it was really good
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All of time and space, anywhere and everywhere, any star that ever was. Where do you want to start?
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DarkMilly
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« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2009, 06:39:03 pm » |
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Thanks guys  , your comments make me feel slightly less bad about posting it.  |
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We may fail alone, but that is better than dying with them, only to be forgotten. I for one, would rather suffer now, than leave this life without passion.
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Cheez
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« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2009, 07:35:00 pm » |
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Something so precious, I just can’t believe
I hold on, but you're torn from my hands
Don’t go! I’m not ready for you to leave! Fixed. Fairly nice poem, this. |
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Cheez is fuckin hawt with teh boobehs. Cheez is also a raptor...pirate. A raptor pirate. Playing chess. WARNING- If you send me a PM with no subject, I WILL NOT REPLY. |
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Sammich!
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« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2009, 08:24:34 pm » |
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Das gut poem, Milly! I likes. Not my preferred surrealistic style (which of course is no problem XD), but I like it nonetheless.
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DarkMilly
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« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2009, 10:07:47 pm » |
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Thanks for the edit I've never tried to write surreal stuff before, just stuff from experience. Maybe I should try... one day. |
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We may fail alone, but that is better than dying with them, only to be forgotten. I for one, would rather suffer now, than leave this life without passion.
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DarkMilly
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« Reply #8 on: October 25, 2009, 08:25:07 am » |
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I walked into your house again today,
It was the first time I have since you left.
It made me realise how much I miss you.
The place that had once encompassed everything about you,
Your smell, sound, loves, and passions, hung up on walls and stored in shelves.
Now empty.
And though I stand here with family,
I feel alone, and sad.
Completely and utterly lost.
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Again, not meant to be good, in fact, I spent even less time fixing this one up, or trying to make it flow, or sound anything like a poem.
It's purely just how I feel right now, and is a follow up to the previous poem.
I just needed to get it out.
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We may fail alone, but that is better than dying with them, only to be forgotten. I for one, would rather suffer now, than leave this life without passion.
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Boomstick
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« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2009, 01:52:40 am » |
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These poems make me sad. They are both really well written though
And as for "sounding like a poem", there's no such thing. Poetry does not have to rhyme. Nor does it have to have a specific rhythm to it.
As wikipedia says:
~~Poetry (from the Greek "ποίησις", poiesis, a "making") is a form of literary art in which language is used for its aesthetic and evocative qualities in addition to, or in lieu of, its apparent meaning. Poetry may be written independently, as discrete poems, or may occur in conjunction with other arts, as in poetic drama, hymns, lyrics, or prose poetry.~~
And in this manner, your poetry is very beautiful, but very sad. It is very cliche to say this, but I am sorry for your loss. I know what the emptiness of losing a loved one is like, and I do not wish it on anyone. However, the best way to avoid despair, and severe depression is to not focus on the passing and emptiness left, but to hold tight to the memories and events and feelings associated with the deceased. Whether good or bad when it happened, these memories all become washed in a new light, and you can find sloace in them. So take heart, my friend, and remember them in your heart always. For in this, they will never truly die.
(/philosophical emotional Boomstick)
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DarkMilly
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« Reply #10 on: October 26, 2009, 02:07:46 am » |
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It really means a lot to me that you took the time to write that, thankyou. *hugs*
Maybe the next one I write will have a happier tone to it... Probably will take me a little longer before I get to that stage though.
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We may fail alone, but that is better than dying with them, only to be forgotten. I for one, would rather suffer now, than leave this life without passion.
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Boomstick
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« Reply #11 on: October 26, 2009, 04:29:43 pm » |
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well, normally, I would have just hugged you really tight, and not let go for a long time. But since you are like a million miles away, I thought this might work too.
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DarkMilly
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« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2009, 05:37:33 pm » |
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Totally, though a hug would be nice too... I might just go up to one of my friends randomly and hug them. |
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We may fail alone, but that is better than dying with them, only to be forgotten. I for one, would rather suffer now, than leave this life without passion.
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Jetraymongoose
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« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2009, 06:39:05 pm » |
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That was all really good Milly.
-hugs-
Cause everybody needs one sometimes
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All of time and space, anywhere and everywhere, any star that ever was. Where do you want to start?
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Zombie0216
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« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2009, 08:05:01 pm » |
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me thinks your poems are extravagent Milly! *Hugs*
I need a hug sometimes too, but no one's usually there for one to give. D:
Me loves to see more of your excellent poems ^^ <3
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