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Ralion
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« Reply #195 on: October 06, 2009, 08:06:32 pm » |
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I was expecting an insult, not a compliment.  |
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I think I may have to adopt you at some point. |
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Cassadar
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« Reply #196 on: October 06, 2009, 08:19:40 pm » |
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i'm dirtyminded first! an asshole second!
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Stan
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« Reply #197 on: October 06, 2009, 08:34:06 pm » |
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Me: “Hello, may I help you?”
Customer: “I need binoculars.”
(I show him a selection of binoculars.)
Customer: “No, no, no. Not one of these. I want one with a magnification of fifty or so.”
Me: “I’m sorry, there are no binoculars with a magnification of fifty.”
Customer: “Are you saying I’m wrong? I’m an engineer. I have two diplomas. Two! I know how things work, thank you!”
(He grabs one of the binoculars, holds it the wrong way round and looks through it.)
Customer: “This one’s broken!”
PAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. i love TCNAR!
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If you're gonna do that shit, do it about one of those ontario elections that always end in the cops chasing a rapist around a tim hortons or some shit.
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RiceGuard
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« Reply #198 on: October 07, 2009, 12:33:01 pm » |
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A Cyber Sex Story  Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: { [logged off] |
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Boomstick
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« Reply #199 on: October 07, 2009, 12:42:06 pm » |
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that's hilarious Riceguard! I had a similar one once. It went something like this:
Girl: Hey wanna cyber?
Me: Uhh...sure.
Girl: Cool. I start kissing your neck and moving my body against yours.
Me: I jump back as a ceiling rafter falls and caves your head in
Girl: What?
Me: <log off>
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Dr. McNinja
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« Reply #200 on: October 07, 2009, 12:48:04 pm » |
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Because self mockery is fun.
William says (19:42):
argument won! I'm more immature than the person she was talking about, but less childish!
Samek says (19:42):
o___O
You're kidding right? That means the same thing.
William says (19:43):
shush, I won a argument :3
Samek says (19:43):
See, now you're being immature and childish. XD
Samek says (19:44):
Same thing.
William says (19:44):
and childish is more acting like you're eight, immature is acting like you're twelve =P
Samek says (19:44):
... No, it means the same thing. How immature you're acting makes the difference in age.
Samek says (19:45):
Actually, you going to other people for second opinions to win an argument was pretty immature of you too. XD
Are you sure you won that argument? XP
William says (19:45):
...
no fair, I just got Jedi mind trick'd
Samek says (19:46):
XDDD
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Grammer
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« Reply #201 on: October 07, 2009, 12:54:24 pm » |
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For more of those cyber stories, go to Encyclopedia Dramatica and search for Bloodninja. There's a link to the archive with his logs there and they are hilarious.
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Cute: Anything that will bring a horrible death upon unwanted visitors.  You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea? |
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Boomstick
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« Reply #202 on: October 07, 2009, 01:07:28 pm » |
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holy crap, Bloodninja has me dying of laughter over here! This guy is totally crazy!
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RD_Blade
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« Reply #203 on: October 07, 2009, 03:13:44 pm » |
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holy crap, Bloodninja has me dying of laughter over here! This guy is totally crazy!
AARRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I love the pirate one. I see his logs way too often. |
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Ralion
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« Reply #204 on: October 07, 2009, 09:01:17 pm » |
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"They shot without warning! Talk about shooting your load too early!"
- Momoko (Shangri-La)
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I think I may have to adopt you at some point. |
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TeeZee
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« Reply #205 on: October 08, 2009, 06:14:30 am » |
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"Actually, bears are quite ferocious."
Profound wisdom from one of my friends. We don't pay much attention to her.
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Grammer
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« Reply #206 on: October 11, 2009, 06:51:10 am » |
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"the Genuine Windows Vista® Home Premium oversees the smooth operation of your software."
Found in the sales pitch for a computer.
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Cute: Anything that will bring a horrible death upon unwanted visitors. You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea? |
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Cheez
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« Reply #207 on: October 11, 2009, 05:03:13 pm » |
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I was reading about a little kid whose mom told him the key to life was happiness. When he was in school the teacher asked them to write down what they wanted to be when they grew up. He said happy. They said he didn't understand the assignment. He said they didn't understand life. My generation GMH -From http://www.givesmehope.com |
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Cheez is fuckin hawt with teh boobehs. Cheez is also a raptor...pirate. A raptor pirate. Playing chess. WARNING- If you send me a PM with no subject, I WILL NOT REPLY. |
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DarkMilly
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« Reply #208 on: October 12, 2009, 01:30:36 am » |
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When I was reading those quotes that one was the one that stood out to me too.  I was going to post it here, but I forgot. So I'm glad you did! I think we all could learn a lot from children, one of the reasons why I'm studying to become a earlychildhood educator. |
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We may fail alone, but that is better than dying with them, only to be forgotten. I for one, would rather suffer now, than leave this life without passion.
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Yutrzenika
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« Reply #209 on: October 12, 2009, 01:47:20 am » |
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"If You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going."
- Winston Churchill
One of my favorites.
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