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« Reply #450 on: December 18, 2009, 06:41:26 am » |
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"The 18th century was a time of rapid innovation; in the space of a single year, the two-storey building, the stage play, America, and the rocket launcher were all invented by the same man: Shakespearicles, the strongest writer who ever lived. Despite his powerful grasp of language and the ability to bench press 700 British pounds, several inventions eluded his iron grip—most tragically among them, stairs. For the next three hundred years, people who needed to get to the second floor used the only method available to them: shooting a rocket launcher at their feet. Yes, it was ridiculous, crippling, and awful, but what are you going to do? Not go to the second floor? That’s where your bed is.
Luckily, in 1857, a young bearded inventor named President Abraham Lincoln stumbled upon the answer: stairs. Unluckily, he never grasped the full import of his own invention, and died attempting to rocket jump up the world’s first staircase in his laboratory at Ford’s Theater. Horrified by this tragedy, mankind agreed never to invent anything again, turning its many scientists and scholars to that most noble endeavor, astrology.
It would not be until 1921 when hotheaded Pisces Franklin D Roosevelt, languishing in a hospital after losing both of his legs in a rocket-jumping accident, stumbled upon Lincoln’s notes and perfected the modern staircase, freeing people from the tyranny of the second floor as Lincoln intended.
No advancement has been made in the escalation sciences since… until now. Introducing the Gunboats, secondary-slot boots that reduce rocket jump damage by a huge amount, rendering stairs forever useless. What is the science behind these miracles of technology? Magic, probably.
In conclusion, why are you still reading this? These things are live, in the game, right now. Go go go!"
-Valve
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At least, that's what I think.
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Stan
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« Reply #451 on: December 18, 2009, 08:08:35 am » |
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I laughed too hard when i saw that.
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If you're gonna do that shit, do it about one of those ontario elections that always end in the cops chasing a rapist around a tim hortons or some shit.
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Cheez
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« Reply #452 on: December 18, 2009, 08:12:38 am » |
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What... what game is that in?
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Cheez is fuckin hawt with teh boobehs. Cheez is also a raptor...pirate. A raptor pirate. Playing chess. WARNING- If you send me a PM with no subject, I WILL NOT REPLY. |
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Stan
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« Reply #453 on: December 18, 2009, 08:14:09 am » |
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Team fortress
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If you're gonna do that shit, do it about one of those ontario elections that always end in the cops chasing a rapist around a tim hortons or some shit.
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Log!
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« Reply #454 on: December 18, 2009, 11:36:30 am » |
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"Reynolds felt lost at the big school, and started hanging out with greasers and skipping school. He also began showing off with dangerous stunts, such as diving off the top of a raised drawbridge, and jumping from an airboat onto the back of a running deer." From Burt Reynolds' Wikipedia Article. |
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At least, that's what I think.
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Cheez
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« Reply #455 on: December 18, 2009, 11:54:37 am » |
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There are two looks on women that most guys find the most appealing. Wait. There are three. The first is all dolled up, dressed to the nines, three hour make-up, knockout perfume, looks that kill. Otherwise known as the Bar Huntress look. Second is warm and fuzzy, literally just rolled out of bed, hair everywhere, no make-up, dressed in a T-shirt. This is the Real Woman, or I Can See Your Nipples look.
The third and last look is anything in between the first two.
E of DIT-
If I had a Higgs Boson I’d use it to make a nude code on my TV so I’d always see Jessica Alba naked no matter what she was wearing.
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« Last Edit: December 18, 2009, 12:19:31 pm by Cheez »
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Cheez is fuckin hawt with teh boobehs. Cheez is also a raptor...pirate. A raptor pirate. Playing chess. WARNING- If you send me a PM with no subject, I WILL NOT REPLY. |
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Ralion
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« Reply #456 on: December 18, 2009, 02:42:11 pm » |
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'Romantic' fanart thread is where we shove everything that might possibly make people go, 'Man, you guys are weird.' Sexy character art of people without defined genders, crack shipping, gratuitious blushing....all shoved here in one lovely ghetto of sparkles and holiday cheer.
I love it so.
This is a perfect description. |
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I think I may have to adopt you at some point. |
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TeeZee
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« Reply #457 on: December 18, 2009, 04:54:16 pm » |
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"You'll find that most people are not trustworthy. And never let anyone take naked pictures of you."
My mother gives the best advice.
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Stan
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« Reply #458 on: December 18, 2009, 05:06:02 pm » |
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Yeti.
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If you're gonna do that shit, do it about one of those ontario elections that always end in the cops chasing a rapist around a tim hortons or some shit.
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Grammer
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« Reply #459 on: December 18, 2009, 08:38:53 pm » |
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"Fuck!"
When delivered just right.
"All you need is love!"
"And some lube."
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Cute: Anything that will bring a horrible death upon unwanted visitors.  You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea? |
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ensouls
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« Reply #460 on: December 18, 2009, 10:23:50 pm » |
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"Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist."
-Indiana Jones
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Dr. McNinja
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« Reply #461 on: December 19, 2009, 01:12:02 pm » |
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"This is the kind of gun they used to put planes on. It wasn't a case of 'Oh, we got this jet fighter, it kinda needs something besides missiles and bombs and shit, let's strap this thing on'. NO. It was a case of a guy making a gun SO awesome, that he just stepped back, and said, "This shit needs to fly'. And everyone else is like, 'You cant make a gun fly!'. And the first guy is all like, 'Fuck you, yes I can. I will strap a plane to this gun.' And everyone's like, 'You mean strap the gun to a plane?' And the first guy is like, 'No, man. I am strapping the plane to the gun. The plane is an accessory.' And then everyone's minds were blown. Like, there was some serious mind blowing going on there. Ears were bleeding. Synapses just went an committed suicide because it was so awesome." —Smith, BOrangeFury's Fallout Let's Play, describing the GAU-8 Avenger |
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Hailfax
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« Reply #462 on: December 19, 2009, 09:28:13 pm » |
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"You're supposed to take care of her, not douche it up."
- Dean talking about his car.
Supernatural.
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It's been a hard day's night
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans- JL
3DS friend code: 4613-6707-8466
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NerdPower!
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« Reply #463 on: December 19, 2009, 10:12:25 pm » |
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Supernatural FTW! *high-fives Hail*
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Boomstick
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« Reply #464 on: December 20, 2009, 02:06:27 am » |
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"Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML"
FML is awesome...
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