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Dr. McNinja
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« Reply #480 on: December 23, 2009, 05:31:01 pm » |
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"I'll rip your tongue off, lick my asshole with it, then sew it back on so you'll have to taste it."
"lol Nigga, you want some swee' tea?"
"Dont say the N word my people take offence"
"That makes sense, they take everything else."
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« Last Edit: December 23, 2009, 05:40:04 pm by McNinja »
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Stan
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« Reply #481 on: December 23, 2009, 06:48:51 pm » |
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Wow.
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If you're gonna do that shit, do it about one of those ontario elections that always end in the cops chasing a rapist around a tim hortons or some shit.
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RiceGuard
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« Reply #482 on: December 23, 2009, 08:59:23 pm » |
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"I'll rip your tongue off, lick my asshole with it, then sew it back on so you'll have to taste it."
"lol Nigga, you want some swee' tea?"
"Dont say the N word my people take offence"
"That makes sense, they take everything else."
Indeed. |
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Dr. McNinja
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« Reply #483 on: December 24, 2009, 05:15:46 am » |
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Flamewars make for good quoting.
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Ralion
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« Reply #484 on: December 24, 2009, 03:06:32 pm » |
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From QDB which I totally forgot about until just now. <massacre> Rosti, can I ask you something as a close friend? <Rosti_LFC> you could ask me something as a complete stranger, but go ahead <massacre> Do you reckon Emma would go out with me if I asked her? <Rosti_LFC> errr.... <Rosti_LFC> ask her yourself? <massacre> no fucking way until I get a second opinion <Daz> dude she's in the channel <massacre> no she isn't <Rosti_LFC> yeah she is mate, look up <Rosti_LFC> she got op'd yesterday <massacre> fuck <massacre> PLAN B <massacre> spam the channel <massacre> with text <massacre> so it goes <Audia> hi <massacre> off her scrollback <Rosti_LFC> ahaha <massacre> FUCK * massacre has quit (PLAN C!!!) <Audia> I'm going to go install Windows 7 right now <Audia> so I'll be offline for a bit <Audia> if he gets the balls to come back in here in the meantime tell him the answer is yes <Rosti_LFC> rofl * Audia has quit (QUIT) <Rosti_LFC> that was some hardcore nerd courtship ritual right there <Daz> Oh man, I wish I could fuck up asking a girl out that badly and still succeed <RetardedMonkey> How would you pronounce this child's name?
<RetardedMonkey> She spells her name..... "Le-a"
<RetardedMonkey> This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA..
<RetardedMonkey> Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
<RetardedMonkey> She says it's pronounced.................
<RetardedMonkey> "Ledasha"
<RetardedMonkey> When the Mother was asked how in the world did she figured it should be pronounced that way....... she said....
<RetardedMonkey> ..."cause the dash don't be silent!"
<RetardedMonkey> English language is gone forever  Edit2: I probably won't be posting any new updates for a couple days on account of the glorious birthing of some guy near barn animals. So now you know Whom to send the angry letters. But before you do take into account that He fixed it up so you aren't all totally screwed when you die.
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« Last Edit: December 25, 2009, 12:22:46 am by Ralion »
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I think I may have to adopt you at some point. |
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NerdPower!
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« Reply #485 on: December 25, 2009, 03:52:42 am » |
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From Supernatural:
Dean (talking to his car): I'm sorry baby. I'll never leave you again.
Dean: Damn cops.
Sam: They were just doing their job.
Dean: No, they were doing our job, only they don't know it so they suck at it.
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Dr. McNinja
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« Reply #486 on: December 25, 2009, 03:37:15 pm » |
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"My girl needs a jaw operation, one side is shorter/longer than the other, and that makes it hard for her to open her mouth wide... and she needs braces...
Yah, think about how I feel.
And it's too dry, and too... toothy. But I manage! And she manages.. I don't know how... but she can...
and she likes strawberry condoms... She wanted to try one, So I got one, and we used it. She liked it. XD"
"Strawberry condoms don't taste like strawberries, but they do taste nice."
"How do you know?"
"Word of mouth."
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Flying Teapot
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« Reply #487 on: December 25, 2009, 04:05:45 pm » |
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This is what happened at our party with visiting friends yesterday....
-while watching Inglourious Basterds-
Friend: "Oh Shelby! Are you testing your boyfriend~?"
Landa: "OOOOOooooo~! That's a bingo!"
Me: .....o-o
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Cassadar
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« Reply #488 on: December 25, 2009, 04:38:43 pm » |
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i bet i'd laugh if i watched that movie huh?....
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Ralion
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« Reply #489 on: December 25, 2009, 10:38:50 pm » |
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A Chicago man could be unwrapping the hundreds of Christmas gifts spread around his apartment for days, even weeks.
Trouble is, they aren't really presents. They're his own belongings meticulously wrapped by friends as a prank while he was out of town.
Louie Saunders' packages contain everything from couch cushions to the beer in his refrigerator.
His friend Adal Rifai masterminded the scheme after Saunders gave him a spare key. It took 16 people, 35 rolls of wrapping paper and eight hours to finish the job.
Saunders tells the Chicago Sun-Times he's only been able to unwrap about 10 percent of the packages.
He jokes that the upside is that, with each package he unwraps, he finds something inside that's just what he needs. |
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I think I may have to adopt you at some point. |
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Flying Teapot
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« Reply #490 on: December 26, 2009, 01:47:38 am » |
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That is wonderful. I would love my friends if they did that.
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SharpArcher01
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« Reply #491 on: December 27, 2009, 12:57:16 am » |
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"Got a feelin '21 is gonna be a good year. 'Specially if you and me see it in together. I've got no reason to be over-optimistic, but somehow when you smile I can brave bad weather." -Pete Townshend: "1921"
I tell you, the whole "Tommy" album is a quote goldmine.
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Keeper of the ಠ_ಠ
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LordSappington
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« Reply #492 on: December 27, 2009, 10:40:09 am » |
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My sister's baby was screaming his lungs out at 2 AM, like he does every night.
Me: Why don't we try conditioning him? When he wakes up at night, we scare the crap out of him. Pavlov says he'll either stop waking up, or be fearless!'
Liz: No, that's not going to happen.
Me: Why don't we just drug him?
Liz: I hope you never have kids.
Me: Me too.
Later on:
Me: Better idea! We put an oxygen tent around his crib, and pump in oxygen with a small percentage of nitrous oxide!
Liz: STAY AWAY FROM MY CHILD *Shoves me out the door*
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Kraven
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« Reply #493 on: December 27, 2009, 12:19:15 pm » |
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Me: I'M GOING TO GET A TURKEY BASTER STUCK IN MY ASS!
One of my "prouder" moments in life. >.>
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Novacain
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« Reply #494 on: December 27, 2009, 01:06:44 pm » |
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At the christmas family dinner table.
Me: "I have a perfectly good reason for bringing piano wire up to Mount Everest." Pretty much said it loud enough that everyone looked at me >.>
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