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Author Topic: Armageddon! HRRRAAAGGHHH!  (Read 8855 times)
Grammer
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« on: October 07, 2009, 03:14:27 pm »

Very well, then I will have to...

Behold!

The end times are nigh!

Clouds churn, lit up by the fires of a burning Earth!

On the charred Earth there are but two men remaining. Around them are the scattered remains of armies, of kingdoms, of empires, all consumed by the flames of war. The two look upon each other across a field of chewed, chopped and cut corpses. Fickle energies crackle around them and the smell of charred flesh caress their skin.

One of the men, in a leather coat and jeans is laughing as he lifts his sword. It's a katana, though the blade is badly warped and jagged. As countless dead on the field can attest, its cut is extremely painful and hard to heal.The man is laughing, a sound that would send chills down the spine of anyone but his opponent.

The other man, in an immaculate, pinstriped suit, lifts his short sword and shield. If there had been any tailors left alive, they could have told you the suit is made of demonic spider weave. Unfortunately, none are left, and so you will never know. Upon the shield is a carving of an ancient, evil god and its likeness has driven more than one soldier on the field insane. Before they all died, that is.

The two look upon another. They raise their weapons.

They're both wearing glasses.

And then they charge!
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You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea?
--Pappa Cricco--
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« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2009, 03:35:22 pm »

Very well, then I will have to...

Yes you shall.

Racing towards his hated foe, whom once Our lord Criccthulhu had counted amongst his staunchest of allies, The Great Devourer let rip a cry that shook the tortured earth where the two combatants would face each other into the grave.

As the ground thundered under the pounding stamps of the two warlords heels Criccthulhu tucked his body low, his shield angled to be swung as desired, the sword tucked down near his belly, its leathal edges singing like a daemonic choir.
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Grammer
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« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2009, 03:43:45 pm »

Still laughing, Grammer, the Betrayer, former Lord of Hell, ran towards his foe. It had been a great game, and now it was approaching the inevitable end. The two would clash and the world would end. No wonder he was laughing.

As he neared the fell god that was his opponent, the Betrayer stamped down. Hellfire erupted beneath his boots and glassed the ground beneath him. Skating on a slide of glass and ashes, Grammer swung.

Weapons met with the solid clang of steel on steel.

Oh, and a massive release of energy that shattered the rocks around them into fine little pebbles.
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You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea?
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« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2009, 03:50:11 pm »

His feet morphing into the talons of a depraved mans foulest nightmare, snding torents of razor sharp ice flying around him while giving him more control in his movements upon the fickle and treacherous surface.

Deflecting a blow that would have vapourised a mortal man with his sword The Lord of The End Of All rammed the razor like edge of of his circular shield towards the guts of the vermin before him.
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Grammer
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« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2009, 03:56:24 pm »

With an impossible twist of his arm, Grammer grabbed hold of the Devourer's wrist, while avoiding the shield's edge and holding off the sword with his own. Using only the strength of his left hand and Criccthulhu's resistance, he heaved his body off the ground and planted both feet in the Devourers face, to use it as a springboard. Before his foe really knew what had happened, the Betrayer had launched himself high into the air, while leaving twin footprints in his foe's face.

And all the time, he was laughing. The high, shrieking laughter of the clinically insane.
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You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea?
Sammich!
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« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2009, 04:02:37 pm »

"You are cordially invited to the marriage of J. Sammich and Angelica Sour Gummy Worm. RSVP."

*Sobs*
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--Pappa Cricco--
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« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2009, 04:04:00 pm »

A pair of wings erupted out of Criccthulus back and with a powerful leap that left a five mile crater from the shock, he soared up into the air, sheathing his sword and snatching up a spear the size of abuilding in the process. Snapping it in half, a jagged point, kean enough to impale two wild boars.

Criccthulhu slung the end without the spearhead hurtling at a spead that ignited the butt of it with supernatural accuracy at the betrayer, the jagged point caught the betrayer upon his thigh, piercing it leaving splinters over a foot long imbeded deep within the wound. Criccthulhu Smiled as Grammer was sent into a uncontrolable tumble back down from the heavenly hieghts towards the every eager embrace of the solid rocks below
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ensouls
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« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2009, 04:10:23 pm »

*Sobs*
*snickers from cloud*
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--Pappa Cricco--
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« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2009, 04:11:56 pm »

*snickers from cloud*

*highfives from otherworldly battlefield*
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Sammich!
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« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2009, 04:13:12 pm »

*Retreats to horrific dimension*
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Grammer
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« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2009, 04:15:08 pm »

Grammer watched the ground race up towards him. It was coming a bit faster than what he really liked. A lot faster, actually.

Shadows came flying out of nowhere and took hold of him. The fall slowed, before it stopped. And still the shadows came. They wrapped about their lord, pulled the splinters from his leg, and used their own bodies to keep the wound closed. Once the bleeding was staunched, they lifted him back into the air, past the clouds, beyond the atmosphere and well into space.

A chain of shades snaked down to the planet bellow and anchored itself deep within it. And then another chain came. And another. In a short time, countless chains were attached to the Earth, and they were all ending in a handle in the Betrayer's hand.

The giant flail is swung at Criccthulhu.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2009, 04:18:23 pm by Grammer » Logged

Cute: Anything that will bring a horrible death upon unwanted visitors.


You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea?
--Pappa Cricco--
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« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2009, 04:32:31 pm »

Blinking in mild amusement Criccthulhu used his unholy strength and speed to weave throught the soul chains, slashing at them with his spear as he went. Several of the great chains erupted into nothingness, allowing Criccthulhu one sure shot at his nemisis.

Striking towards his foe Criccthulhu felt the entire planet strike him, speeding him forewards almost at the speed of light. His spear head rammed into his enemy and as they passed Criccthulhu grabbed him.

At the immense speed they were travelling Grammers arm was torn from him, the force of the impact shattering Criccthulhus already broken back, the flail was cast back towards te sun of the solar system, smashing several smaller planets into oblivion.

As the pair flew faster and faster, going beyond the speed of light the bitter rivals still swung at each other.

The very fabric of the dimension started to buckle around them worsening and worsening until they burst from the dimension into nothingness like a daemon ripping its way into reality from its host. The pair ripped into a new dimension while the one of their origin was sucked into nothingness and slowly turned into that which surrounds it.

Hurtling at a now slowing speed the pair burst into flames upon the athmosphere of an earth like planet, lush and thick in vegitation, green and warm, a young earth. Their arrival was announced by the screeching of the heavens and the night sky errupting into flame.
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Grammer
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« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2009, 04:53:43 pm »

The flames the two gave out as they entered the atmosphere were so intense that any creature looking upon it instantly had its eyes burnt out.

Though the pair was still traveling at speeds far larger than what humans were designed to withstand, they had decelerated enough to avoid planetal devastation. Instead, they just made a really big crater and flash fried a lot of local jungle and wildlife.

At the bottom of the crater they had created, the two combatants were quite literally drawing themself together.

When they were, more or less, whole again, they took a look around, realized what they had done, smiled at each other, glared at each other and wandered off in opposite directions to plot the others downfall.

From a safe distance, inhuman eyes watched the two wander off.


For the continuation of this epic drama, you need wander no longer than this forum's very own RPG section. Yes, that's right people, coming to a section uncomfortably close to you is the RPG that will forever be remembered as TZH: The D*** Wars. This is the event of the year you just can't miss! be there, or be left on a blasted ball of rock forever!

((Also, could a kind mod please move this battle to the RPG section? We're rather proud of it and would like to keep it >.<
I think something along the lines of "Armageddon" would be an appropriate tittle.))
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Cute: Anything that will bring a horrible death upon unwanted visitors.


You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea?
--Pappa Cricco--
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« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2009, 04:56:14 pm »

*bows*
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Ralion
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« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2009, 05:59:24 pm »

tl:dr

 Tongue
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