The Zombie Hunters Forum: WE GO THERE.
February 13, 2016, 09:58:12 pm *
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Author Topic: Giggle Titties and other literary nonsense.....  (Read 3802 times)
Anonymoose
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« Reply #180 on: February 07, 2016, 06:11:42 pm »

I've been contemplating ways humans die in various forms of mass media entertainment. I've seen hunans skewered, diced, sliced, chopped, baked, fried, deep fried, slow roasted, pureed, fricaseed, strained, pressed, frozen, poached, steame......

I am suddenly overcome by the feeling that there is something a bit off about salivating while thinking if ways to kill humans.

Odd, that.
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #181 on: February 07, 2016, 06:17:46 pm »

Man Truth. I refuse to believe that I am the only male of the species that has contemplated faking his own death to end a relationship. I cannot be, she said I wasn't her first rodeo. So all I have to do is figure out how they did it...
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #182 on: February 07, 2016, 06:25:10 pm »

Can you imagine the hell of a vegan in a zombie apocalypse? What better motivation to stay alive than knowing that as soon as you die, your precious digestive tract will be chock full to bursting with red meat...... And the whole time your spirit will be trapped in purgatory screaming "NOOOOOOOOO".....

Sometimes I find myself a bit concerned by what comes bubbling out of my head. Not enough to do anything about it, mind you. Maybe someday, but today is not that day.
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #183 on: February 07, 2016, 06:29:15 pm »

If the President of the United States gets bitten by a zombie, is it still treason to shoot him? I mean, they're not expecting us to take one for the team in the name of political correctness, right?
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #184 on: February 07, 2016, 06:53:39 pm »

I made the mistake of telling a woman not to google the word 'goatze' and now she won't talk to me because she read my text at work, one of her co-workers actually did it, another co-worker got offended and now its my fault co-worker A got reprimanded and it might get her in trouble too.

I'm guessing my response of 'I told you so' didn't add anything constructive to the conversation, but I'd bet good money it was the added 'Silly woman' part that is gonna have me humping my hand for a while.

And the part that gets me is that she tells me she wants me to be honest and throws a fit when I am. And no, I do not mention that any more.....
« Last Edit: February 08, 2016, 07:43:36 pm by Anonymoose » Logged

In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #185 on: February 07, 2016, 07:06:29 pm »

My sometimes ex-girlfiend has informed that until I shave there will be no lovin' for me. I have an oral fixation that borders on the manic compulsive and epic manual dexterity. She knows this.

I can wait.  Grin
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #186 on: February 07, 2016, 07:18:51 pm »

You can offer to hire panda huggers (I shit you not, google it) in China. But if you try that in the United States, some whiny, bitchy, crying liberals (and/or other twitter trash) will lay siege to your house, boycott your business and get all up in your ass like you held Cecil the Lion down for that dentist to murder him.

Yes, the United States is such a tolerant and accepting place....
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #187 on: February 08, 2016, 07:53:58 pm »

Testicular Elephantitus.

Don't do it. Just say no. Cthullu (pbhn) doesn't think you can resist, but I has faith in you! You can do it!
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #188 on: February 08, 2016, 08:00:00 pm »

Two girls, one cup.........

What has been seen, cannot be unseen, but it can be shared like hell across the internet. Why suffer alone, right?
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #189 on: February 08, 2016, 09:05:51 pm »

Elder Evil. They don't go there, they're FROM there!
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #190 on: February 08, 2016, 09:14:24 pm »

I swear by All That is Unholy that I just saw Liu Kang.... I almost screamed "Mortal Combat!!", but  I'm on thin enough ice with the new manager as it is.
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #191 on: February 11, 2016, 08:43:17 pm »

Valentine's Day in a zombie apocalypse...

Roses are red, violets are blue,
I'm sorry I got zombie brains on you....

I'm such a romantic sometimes I amaze even me.
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #192 on: February 11, 2016, 08:56:35 pm »

I'm rethinking my whole Zombie Apocalypse Survival Strategy™ (ZASS for short) and I've come to the conclusion that it may not be sustainable long term. Eventually I will run out of coffee, cigarettes and married women and I will be reduced to just another rampaging psychopath that exists simply to spread my pain.

There is NO WAY I intend to waste a perfectly good crisis with a played and trite Jason Vorhees impersonation.

I am going to have to invest in more married friends if I intend to get through what is coming with my sanity intact.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2016, 11:17:03 pm by Anonymoose » Logged

In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
Anonymoose
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« Reply #193 on: February 12, 2016, 11:56:59 am »

One little, two little, three little ninja.
Four little, five little, six little ninja.
Seven little, eight little, nine litt....

DAMN, son, who did you piss off?!
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In a zombie apocalypse no one cares what's in a hot dog.

"I'm a damn mystery to me." Merle, RIP.
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